Mass Effect
by PiperNickson
Summary: The tale of Abigail Shepard from Virmire on! Rated M for later content
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: Virmire Part One  
**Author**: DinkyMew  
**Game**: Mass Effect (One)  
**Disclaimer**: Bioware own all characters, content and world related to Mass Effect. The character of Abigail Shepard is my own creation inspired by the character of Jane Shepard created by Bioware. All original characters contained herein are my own creation and are not necessarily affiliated with Bioware. This version of Virmire may deviate from the actual events as depicted in game – please forgive the author this digression; it is meant for entertainment purposes and for the development of characters, not to offend.  
**Characters Featured / Pairings**: Abigail Shepard (F); Ashley Williams (F); Kaidan Alenko (M); Original Character Stewart 'Spooner' Cooper (M); Admiral David Anderson (M); Jeff 'Joker' Moreau (M). **Pairings suggested in the writing**: Abigail Shepard & Kaidan Alenko

**Author's Note**: I've added this flashback in, it might not initially make sense, but without it the later writings in this fiction will leave you with too many questions. I could have edited the piece to incorporate the information somehow, but as it is such an important event in Abigail Shepard's life I feel like it needs a flashback to truly appreciate the meaning behind it (And I know it's strange the flashbacks are all in first person, it's just a little extra indication that it's meant to be in the past). So please bear with it, I might rework it at a later date once I have had feedback on how it all gels.

_I wait. _

_Spooner brought me here, told me to wait for the Admiral. I know that is the guy with the blue hat and the dark beard and I don't like him much; when he looks at me it feels like he is looking through me. He told me he knew my father – that I have his eyes and that unnerves me. I can't look at myself anymore now._

_I bounce my feet off the legs of the chair, trying to look idle but secretly nosing through the papers lying on the Admiral's desk. There is a photograph there in a dark frame of a woman and a girl; she looks about my age, sixteen._

_"Well I know that." A voice says as the door to the Admiral's office wheezes open. The Admiral enters, sharp and formal as always, and behind him Spooner is dressed in his armour. I brighten at the sight of him, my heart fluttering weakly in my chest but he seems pensive, worried even as he looks at me. _

_"Miss Shepard." The Admiral addresses me, sitting on the edge of the desk a little too close for comfort, I fidget glancing to Spooner for a clue, but his eyes are on the Admiral and I feel lost without his gaze on me. I tick my gaze back to the Admiral and he is looking at me expectantly._

_"Yes?" I say a little weirded out._

_"Do you know anything about what your parents were researching on Mindoir?" He asks, tucking his chin into his chest as he speaks. I blink. I had no idea they were researching anything._

_"No sir," I say carefully, I glance to Spooner and this time he is looking at me, his handsome face dark and troubled. I shake my head "I don't know anything."_

_"When we found your father's body Shepard we recovered the OSD's he was carrying; they're pass-locked." The Admiral continued "The inscription on the disk says that you know the key to get into them."_

_I frown "My father never talked to me about anything." I say honestly "Unless it was Turian biology he wasn't interested in a thing I had to say, or telling me anything – for that matter. I have no idea what you are talking about."_

_"You don't know anything at all Skipper?" Spooner asks me and I look at him, holding his gaze as I take a breath._

_"I don't know anything." I say clearly. _

_"It's important." He presses and I bite the inside of my cheek, moving my shoulders._

_"I still don't know anything." I say. _

_They exchange looks and I feel anger stir within me; hot, malleable anger that erupts into my chest as my arms begin to tingle. In the muted light of the office the blue of my biotics is obvious and both men take an instinctive step back. I am a time bomb; I have no control over my powers – they come when they please and they do what they wish. _

_"Skipper," Spooner says calmly, as though talking a jumper from the edge "calm yourself down." _

_I hear his voice, somewhere deep inside me I hear it like an anchor and I breathe; slowly, the tingling recedes, the thrumming in my ears eases off._

_"I believe her sir," He says, turning his eyes to the Admiral. The officer is still looking at me closely, his eyes narrowed as he grunts in agreement._

_"Very well then." He relents "You're to become a ward of the state, Miss Shepard. We were planning on dropping you off at Arcturus, where you would be transported to an Earthen orphanage – but the Lieutenant here submitted a request to Alliance Command, one that has been granted and I am to oversee the agreement as it is between you if one should arise."_

_I blink, taking in the words carefully as he powers on._

_"Lieutenant Cooper would like to assume Guardianship of you Miss Shepard, If you are agreeable. At sixteen you are classed as being able to make this decision without the aid of a support." He pauses, watching me carefully for a reaction but I keep my face like stone. "It would mean you would remain aboard the Humbee – and you would have to make yourself useful, mind. I don't mind what you do – help with modding, serving the lunches, cleaning the uniforms, so long as you keep yourself out of trouble. You hear me?"_

_I look to Spooner and he nods at me hopefully._

_"You will get your own room – we can't have a young girl like yourself sharing with the crew. Not promising it will be anything remarkable, but it will do you for your time aboard." He clears his throat "Well, would that be agreeable to you then, Miss Shepard?"_

_Slowly I nod, not daring to speak the answer aloud in case I am dreaming. That I would get the chance to remain here? So close to him? I couldn't have wanted anything more. _

_"And you mind the Lieutenant." He warns sternly, pointing a finger at me. Then he smiles, through the thick of his beard I think he looks quite warm, comforting. He pushes from the desk, and Spooner snaps off a hard salute. He gives a casual one back, then pauses, glancing over his shoulder at me once more._

_"Oh, and stop pestering the engineers."_

Abigail Shepard stepped into the hot spray of the shower and closed her eyes, tilting her face to greet the water. She let the motion wash warmth into her muscles; easing the tension there, soothing the new bruises and scrapes. She held her breath, imagining it was simply stripping the events of Feros from her skin – like grime and dirt, it was pulled from her and washed down the plughole.

Realistically things could not have gone better on Feros. She had secured an entire colony with minimal casualties; that was something to be congratulated on, but every time she closed her eyes she could see that Thorian creature and it still terrified her. Suspended by great, corded tendrils the Thorian had been reminiscent of a gigantic grub, the skin taught and pulsing over muscle-type fibre within, rippling with pustules and ectoplasm. Its head had been tucked in, tapering down to an opening that dripped with ectoplasm, long tentacles dangling loosely. She had never been so glad to have something gone from the world; that plant – or whatever it was – could do no good. None at all. How could something so old – something so _huge_ – have been undiscovered all this time? If something like that could be concealed, experimented with and hidden so well what hope did she have of uncovering Saren and his Geth?

She swept her fingers through her wet hair, pushing it from her mind. Things were escalating fast, first there were Rachni on Noveria, now a Thorian on Feros, and she wondered what else she was going to meet on this mission.

"Commander?" The voice was Joker's and she opened her eyes, turning her face from the spray to answer.

"Joker?" She asked frowning "Are you in my quarters?"

"Sorry ma'am." He called back "There was a package delivered for you while you were on the Citadel reporting to the Council, it's marked personal so I thought I would bring it here to you?"

"Alright." She called, flicking soap suds from her arms "Thanks Joker. Just leave it on the bed."

She didn't hear the door, but he didn't answer so she assumed he was gone, soaping herself briskly she showered down and closed the taps; the spray shuddering to a stop. Without breaking stride she pulled the towel from the rack and wrapped it around her body, tucking the corner in at her armpit, before twisting her hair up in a spider clip to drip dry. Cautiously she opened the door, half expecting to see Joker still standing there waiting for an opportunity to perv, but luckily her chambers were empty – the monotonous, slow beep of her console reminding her she had unread messages the only company.

The package had been left on her bed, a neat, square box wrapped in brown paper. There was an envelope taped to the top and she glanced at the scrawl over the front. It was Admiral Anderson's writing – she would recognise it anywhere. Might be a new retrofit for her gun, the thought excited her more than it should have. Pulling the envelope free she opened it, pulling a little note out that was lined with the same writing.

_I know you well enough to know you would want these in the end. _

It was signed _Paps_ which made her frown; she was used to getting personal mail from Admiral Anderson since he was officially granted guardianship of her on her seventeenth birthday. They never lived together; not for long periods anyway, but he visited her often at Arcturus, wrote her when he couldn't and generally was the only family she had left in her life. He joked that he was her grandfather once removed – she liked to think that too. What was troubling her was receiving a personal note while she was on board the Normandy, if this was retrofits for her weapons it would have been a much more formal affair.

Setting the note aside she tore the brown paper at one corner, pulling it loose as she unveiled a box. It was exactly as she had anticipated – an old cardboard box, the flaps shut inside each other. There was a number marked on the top in thick black marker, but it meant nothing to her.

Opening the ends she peered inside at the contents. There was nothing of note; a thick, bound leather journal that was beaten to the point it was falling apart, held together by an old red elastic band. Various photos poked her fingers as she rummaged in the contents, more confused than anything else, a few pens with chewed caps scuttled at the bottom of the box along with what looked like an old OSD drive. There was a glass paperweight, the size of a fist and created so it looked as though it held the galaxy inside its swollen glass stomach; a tool kit for cleaning pistols; a broken watch, the glass on the front cracked, the hands stopped forever at 3.12pm; but it was the ring she plucked from the box that made her stop short.

It was large, gold, with the head of a lion stamped into the precious metal. She felt the colour drain from her face, almost as if she would faint, but she caught herself – gritting her teeth as blood hammered through her head. She dug into the box, more frantic now, grabbing at the photos and wiping the dust from the filmy covers. Eyes she thought she would never see again smiled back at her from that picture, and inside Shepard felt herself begin to curl away from the world.

_I glance around the room, unimpressed, and pull a face I hope conveys my feelings on the subject. My room on the Humbee was tiny, and this is larger – only just, but it lacks everything I had grown to love about my home on the frigate. It was clinical, white walls, tiled white floor, a white nondescript bed with the sheet pulled back at one corner. It was meant to be inviting, but it was anything but. _

_Behind me I hear a shuffling noise and turn in time to see Spooner coming up the white corridor – a vivid, wonderful breath of colour in this suddenly colourless void I have been thrust in to. He looks at me as he approaches, his green eyes incredibly vibrant under the strip lights here, a shock of blonde hair falling in his eyes as he drops his gaze; unable to look at. Or unwilling?_

_Over his shoulder he carries my duffel bag – which is really his, but he has given it to me to help transport my things from one place to another. I sour my expression, hoping if I make it as difficult as possible for him I can prolong or even avoid this hateful turn of events. He moves into the room – made even tinier by the presence of his bulk, his deeply sculpted muscles pushing against the fabric of his tank top, the light glints off the gold chain he wears around his neck as he bends to put the duffel on the edge of the bed. His tank top creeps up his back a little and I can see the beginnings of his tattoo as it snakes up his shoulder blades. _

_At last he looks to me, his face stern and I feel anger bubble inside me. Like a wave it surges up from the depths of my soul and I glare at him; this man that I love – that I need._

_"Don't look at me like that Skipper." He complains, the nickname has no effect on me this time – six months I have lived on board the Humbee, making it my home – that nickname belongs there, not in this alien clinic. I don't answer, instead I stare at him, willing my contempt and anger to bore into his soul and hurt him the way I hurt. He sighs heavily at my unwillingness, sitting beside the duffel bag he unzips it and begins to drag my meagre belongings from inside._

_He folds the clothes as he unpacks them, setting them in a neat little pile beside him. Most of them are Alliance uniform pieces picked up at the citadel for me, or requisitioned by the staff. He pulls a book free, one he bought me the first week I was aboard the Humbee, the pages are dog-eared and yellowed now. Next a snow globe – a gift he had brought me back from brief visit to earth. He pauses with this, turning it one way and then the other, watching the snow float down around the tiny family huddled inside. I feel like screaming at him, I want him to know that my world had once been like that globe – safe and secure in my own bubble. _

_"I think this is the best place for you." He mumbles and I bite the inside of my cheek. I sink my teeth into it until I taste blood and then I press further. "I think the Admiral is right." He adds, unpacking toiletries one at a time and setting them carefully on the small white bedside table. "You know I was fighting alongside a biotic the other day… I've never seen anything like it skipper – it was then I knew what you had to offer the Alliance, how could I stop you learning all that?"_

_I turn my eyes from him at last, swallowing past the growing lump in my throat as I feel tears burn their way up. I hold them back. I don't care what he thinks. I was happy to stay on the Humbee, I was happy to be part of the crew and graduate eventually into the ranks – I don't care about biotics, I don't care if I have them, whatever they are, I don't want them, and I certainly don't want to be left to rot in the middle of nowhere to learn all about them._

_I want to be on the Humbee, in my room – sitting on top of the shelf that runs the length of my bed and staring out the window at the FTL stream as it dances over the glass in an array of colours. It's the only time I ever feel truly safe; the minute you sit still in someplace the more risk there is someone will come for you._

_"I want you to learn about yourself Skipper, and if this is the only place you can do that…" He paused, rubbing his eyes with his big, clumsy fingers "I want what's best for you."_

_I steel myself, unforgiving as I look at him once more. His face is broken, turned in a little with hurt as he looks at me expectantly. I want to slap him._

_He gets to his feet and I can feel it's time for him to leave. I can feel panic swell where anger had been; but it tastes the same at the back of my mouth – bitter and hot. He goes to give me a hug, something that had become as familiar as breathing between us, but I won't allow it. I jerk from him, turning my eyes away and folding my arms over my chest in a last act of desperate defiance. I stand to lose everything – and to keep it I will do anything._

_"Come on Skipper." He whines, and I stride away from him, into the room. I march to that little white bedside table and glare down on the mocking family inside my snow globe. They smile as the snow still floats around them; as oblivious to my turmoil as the man standing in the doorway to my cell. "What do you want me to do?" He asks, and I dig my nails into my arms, the words are earnest, not angry, but they still make me boil with rage. _

_Shakily, my hands trembling, I pick up the traitorous snow globe, turning it in my hands, watching the snow swirl around and around inside._

_"What would you have me do?" He prods again and something inside me snaps. Like when you pull an elastic band too far and it breaks suddenly with that distinctive 'pop' noise. Like when you are travelling through pressure and your ears suddenly go. I grind my teeth, the inside of my mouth aching where I have bit into my cheek. I whirl on him, my fear lunging forward before I can control it. _

_"You're supposed to fight for me!" I scream, and the floodgates are open – my rage, my tears come pouring out of me like black venom as I curl away from him and my temper surges forward in my place "You're supposed to care about me! Not leave me here! Not leave!" I heave in a breath, my lungs burning angrily as I take a menacing step forward "But go! Go on! Go! Just like everyone else! Just fucking go!" the last I scream out at him, and before I can really know what is happening the globe is flying from my hand. It strike the doorway just beside his head sending a shower of glass and water spraying everywhere. I don't stop, I grab anything – everything – from the bedside table and launch them at him. A few hit, most miss, and gradually he retreats down the white corridor once more._

_When I have run out of objects I stand, staring at the empty doorway. Somehow my achievement although what I wanted tastes bittersweet in the back of my throat._

_I'm alone._

That was the last time she had ever saw him. She had received a couple of mails, vague and nondescript and she had been too stubborn to reply. Then nothing.

By chance she met Admiral Anderson a week later as he pulled her off another student in the mess hall; she must have made an impression because when he went away and looked into her back story and offered to take her on as his own, becoming her legal guardian. He knew how much Spooner meant to her, and how much she regretted the way things went – but now it seemed Spooner had not just decided to forget about her. The box she had been sent contained his personal possessions, and by the looks of them they had been stored for some time.

"Shepard?" The doors hissed open and Ashley stood in the entrance, one hand pressed into her hip. She looked stunning in a short, backless red dress. Her dark hair was down, bouncing around her shoulders. She strode into her room, doing a twirl for the Commander's benefit, before splaying her hands for an opinion.

"Well?" She asked and Abigail nodded, emotions confusing each other as she gave a small smile.

"You look amazing." She said, realising that she had not yet got herself dressed.

"What's that?" Ashley asked, tipping her head to the box in front of her and Abigail shook her head, closing the lid once more hurriedly.

"Nothing." She said absently "Just a ghost."


	2. Chapter 2

**Title**: Virmire Part Two  
**Author**: DinkyMew  
**Game**: Mass Effect (One)  
**Disclaimer**: Bioware own all characters, content and world related to Mass Effect. The character of Abigail Shepard is my own creation inspired by the character of Jane Shepard created by Bioware. All original characters contained herein are my own creation and are not necessarily affiliated with Bioware. This version of Virmire may deviate from the actual events as depicted in game – please forgive the author this digression; it is meant for entertainment purposes and for the development of characters, not to offend.  
**Characters Featured / Pairings**: Abigail Shepard (F); Ashley Williams (F); Kaidan Alenko (M); Jeff 'Joker' Moreau (M); Original character Stewart 'Spooner' Cooper (M); **Pairings suggested in the writing**: Kaidan Alenko & Abigail Shepard

_When I was younger I would spend a lot of time in my father's study. It was large – probably the largest room in the house and decked out with all the latest tech and gadgets. I would spend hours in there, tinkering with his stuff, listening to him talk about biology. The back wall behind his desk was peppered with framed pictures; most of myself in various poses and mishaps. A couple were awards he had received; one was a medal. And one still was a quote, in a language I didn't recognise or understand: Quis hic locus? Quae regio? Quae mundi plaga…?_

_I would gather my ragdolls pigtails around her and stare at the words, sounding them out in my mouth; rolling my tongue over each letter, and still the meaning would elude me. When I got older, when we moved to Mindoir and I was gifted my first console I investigated myself the meaning behind those words. _

_What world is this? What Kingdom? What shores of what world…?_

_That is how I feel. _

_Curled in a makeshift bed, the duvet drawn over and around my head so only one eye can peek out, I watch the FTL stream outside the window above me. It dances like water, buffeting colours against the black and I take comfort in the fact we are moving; that Mindoir is far behind me and the horrors that occurred there have been left with it. _

_Only they haven't. In the black of space – there is no day or night here – only lights up and lights down, I can't sleep. I writhe in the sheets, wake bathed in sweat, my mother's stricken face on my mind's eye – the faces of everyone I loved still perfect in clarity haunt my waking thoughts. _

_I am still being kept in the med bay, but I have made it my own for the journey to my new world. I have pushed two beds together underneath the window, gathered bits and pieces from around the ship to keep me company in the silence. The pilot gave me a model Alliance fighter which I can't put down; I like to twist it in my fingers and imagine my father is in there – he always wanted to be an Alliance Fighter Pilot. _

_I hear the doors open with a loud hiss as the hydraulics pulls them apart. I hold my breath listening to my heart thump in my ears like a drum calling me to war._

_"Skipper?" The voice should be alien to me, and yet it is all too familiar. My saviour. I take one last look at the window and push the duvet back just as Spooner sits on the edge of my bed. _

_Neither of us speak; and there is a strange feeling between us, like the air before a lightning storm. He looks around the room, his green eyes noticing everything, calculating risk, cover, distance, escape – I can almost see the training rattle through his head before his eyes come back to me. This is the first time I have seen him out of his armour, and my blush I fear betrays my virtue. He is wearing a tank top, the kind that pulls into a 'V' at the back, allowing an ample view of his sculpted shoulder blades and the wolf tattoo that climbs along his back, one paw clutching his shoulder, claws digging deep furrows in the skin. His short blonde hair is hidden under a black N7 cap, the kind they issue upon entering the programme, and it makes his green eyes seem almost brown in the shadow. _

_"Wanted to check you were settlin' in." He nods, folding heavy hands in his lap as he crosses his feet at his ankles. "We're… we'll be at the Station in another day or so."_

_I feel like crying. It might sound ridiculous but I have come to love this man in a way I never could muster for the boys back on Mindoir. The thought of being without him almost rips me in two._

_"Are you ok?" He asks, and when I look at him he is watching me carefully, his voice full of genuine concern laced with urgency and fear for my wellbeing. For the first time since the awful events of Mindoir I feel safe; if slavers were to burst through the door right now I know this man would stand and fight for me. He would protect me. _

_I want to do him proud; I want to learn from him how to be strong, but as I take in his words and reflect on the question I can feel my eyes rush with tears and fight them back bitterly. I didn't think I could cry anymore, and yet they course down my skin, unbidden and hot as I rub at them with the sleeve of my sweatshirt. _

_Spooner reaches for me, tentatively, unsure and pulls me into an awkward embrace, his bulk surrounding me like a protective barrier. _

_"I lost my family too." He says quietly against the top of my head, I can feel his lips move in my hair and I close my eyes, burying my face in his tank top "Not in the same way; they were marines. Same hurt though." With a heavy sigh he pulls back, righting me once more and makes as if to stand. _

_Something, I don't know what, desperation; fear? Makes me grab his forearm, feeling muscle tense under my touch as he pauses looking to me expectantly._

_"Stay, just a little while." I ask him weakly "I'm so scared Spooner."_

_He looks back to the door of the med bay before nodding, slowly, contemplatively and I turn my back on him, gazing out that window once more. After a while his hand comes to my hair, stroking it away from my face and then rests on my shoulder, reassuring. I watch that FTL stream and for the first time since the raid I sleep._

_Safe._

Abigail Shepard had been fine walking through the wards of the Citadel; she had been fine passing by people who looked like they would skin you alive for a few credits; she had even been fine on the elevator journey up from the docking bay – which was a rarity for her because elevators scared the shit out of her. Any tiny space sent her into a panic attack, but the moment she clapped eyes on the glowing neon sign of Flux panic had settled in her gut like an old enemy.

It wasn't that she hated crowds, or dancing, or socialising; all of those things she quite enjoyed. It was the fact that this place was civilian – so removed from anything military that she felt at a loss of what to do. What was the proper protocol and procedure here? Here her rank meant nothing, she would have to toe the line like every other 'civi' in the dance club and like it – which was hard for her to do.

"Looks good!" Ashley exclaimed with unguarded excitement beside her "What do you think Shep?"

Abigail groaned, looking at her best friend seriously "I don't know Ash… I feel a little nervous."

"The great Commander Shepard?" Ashley jested prodding her ribs with a finger "Hero of Elysium – scared of a night club?"

"There is a good reason biotics are told to ration alcohol." Abigail warned and Ashley's eyes lit up as she looped arms with her.

"I sense a story." She grinned pulling them toward the entrance.

Kaidan watched the entrance of Flux from the corners of his eyes, half his attention on the Quasar machine in front of Joker the other half wondering where the heck Ashley and Shepard were. They had agreed to meet here, not that he relished the thought much; too much light and noise eventually had only one result for him: migraine. At least here he could dull the effects with some alcohol; of course that came with its own repercussions and he didn't want to look like an idiot in front of Shepard.

"She's not here yet." Joker complained beside him, punching the 'high' button and hissing loudly as he lost another 100 credits. He either had the worst luck in history or he was just plain rubbish at Quasar.

"Who?" Kaidan asked, feigning confusion, rubbing the back of his neck nervously as the first sweats began to form.

"The Commander." Joker rolled his eyes "Kaidan, who're you talking to?"

Kaidan looked to him and smiled, he was right. He had known Joker for a long time, they had roomed together on Arcturus when he enlisted in the Alliance again following the disaster with BAAT. They had been through a hell of a few years together, he probably knew him better than anyone.

"Give me some credit man." Joker shook his head "I knew this before _you_ even knew about it. I knew it the first minute you clapped eyes on her in that mess hall back on Arcturus." He grinned "You only have three expressions Kaidan, not hard to decipher between them." He jested.

"Alright." Kaidan groaned "Thanks for that." He took a quick drink of his alcohol – not daring to ask Joker what he had ordered, but it burned the back of his throat delightfully, and sank to his stomach like lead.

_I like chicken. Chicken is such a versatile meat, it can be so plain – giving itself over to other flavours with ease – or it can be a powerful flavour on its own. I think I'm a little like chicken. _

_The food on Arcturus station is never top quality, most of it is frozen, pre-packed meals pushing out protein and little else. I would kill for some tomato soup – like mom used to make when I was ill. I can almost taste it as I look down on my plate of chicken with longing. I'm not ill; not really, but my head is a ticking time-bomb – the beginnings of a migraine scraping at the edges of my skull. _

_Beside me Joker tucks into his meal – some kind of salad wrap with some kind of weird looking yellow sauce. He's always moaning about his diet; because of his brittle bone disease he has to eat sensibly knowing he can't very well work off lots of calories. I wish I could bring myself to eat that green stuff, but it never keeps me going, I need meat in my diet and plenty of it – otherwise I feel ready to expire before lunch. _

_"Do you think the Captain will come by?" He asks me, taking a heavy bite of his wrap and tucking the excess sauce into his mouth with an agile thumb. _

_"He has to." I say, moving the chicken around my plate with my fork "The Normandy is a new vessel, he has to be there to… I dunno… announce it I guess." I cringe as the pain flares at the back of my neck, burning a trail up my spinal cord to the base of my skull. _

_I feel a jab to my shin, a boot kicking me with fierce urgency and I hiss, glancing to the culprit as Joker looks at ne, wide eyed. I shake my head and he tips his to the side, as if signalling and I follow the indicator. Across the table a woman has sat down, the seat next to her holding her duffel bag. She is reading a data pad, her face half obscured by an Alliance Military cap. Her long dark hair is pulled into a sleek ponytail that hangs over one shoulder. She lifts her head and I glimpse her face – frozen momentarily as my head rushes to comprehend what I can see before me. _

_She is beautiful. Breath-taking. Her flawless face is half hidden by an Alliance Military cap, but I can see her lips, full and red and soft as she draws her teeth over her bottom lip. The valleys and angels of her face are angelic, almost childlike in her beauty, far too young to be a marine I'm almost certain. She sighs, scrolling down the datapad some more before setting it to the side and glancing at Joker – then her eyes fix on my own. _

_They are blue. _

_The rarest and most precious gems of the earth; a deep, ice blue charged with green around the inner iris – like an ocean, roiling with mystery. There is a light in them that seems to speak to me and I resist the pull, averting my eyes back to the table as my face blooms with heat. I choke out a breath realising I have been holding it up to this point. _

_"Lieutenant!" a voice calls from the crowded mess hall. At first I don't take notice, there are probably more than a dozen lieutenants in this hall as well as myself but then the voice calls again "Lieutenant Alenko?!"_

_Despite the pain shuddering behind my eyes I raise them to scan the crowd for the source. The place is heaving with cadets grabbing their last lunches before deployment, it's impossible to tell where the voice came from. Then I see a lanky cadet coming toward me; his head is shaved and he is dressed in his uniform waving frantically at me. I smile as he comes closer and I recognise him. Jenkins._

_"Jenkins." I say politely as he pauses at the table, next to the woman that joined us. "Something wrong?"_

_I've known the lad in passing really; not long enlisted he has climbed ranks at a suitable pace for his age. Anderson has him pegged for the N7 initiative if he holds his momentum. _

_"I just heard a rumour that you're a biotic? Is that true sir?" I close my eyes as pain erupts in the centre of my head, so sharp and strong I feel my hands curl into fists – the metal of my fork crushing into the skin on my palm. "Sir?" Jenkins presses, and beside me I can hear Joker chuckle. _

_"Are you a biotic sir?" He asks again and I swallow, trying to make the pain subside, trying to overcome it enough to answer him._

_"Are you a bio- oh! No way!" He cries, the pain flaring with sudden noise "Where did you get CHICKEN from?!" He cries reaching for my plate. _

_I don't know what happens. Whether it is my temper, defending my food or just annoyance at being pestered I don't think I will ever be sure. But when I see that hand reaching for my chicken something inside me bursts; like a water balloon, or a trapped pipe and when I reach to slap his hand away instead I slap him with biotics – the blue hue unmistakable as the Corporal goes rigid from the impact, jerking across the canteen to crash against the table he had been sitting at. _

_There is commotion – shouting, as soldiers rise form the table and give me wondering glares. I swallow; the accident has brought unwanted attention my way. I didn't want it to be common knowledge I was a biotic, biotics are still classed as freaks among the general populous; I had hoped to start life on the Normandy with that one kept to myself. _

_"Jenkins!" I hear Dr Chakwas cry as she drops beside him._

_I stand, ready to apologise when there is movement and Jenkins gets shakily to his feet. "That was AWESOME!" He cries, raising his arms to pump the air. I pause, rubbing the back of my neck as the migraine intensifies against the roaring response of the crowd. Suitably forgotten again as they swarm the Corporal I sit back down, hoping to have the rest of my lunch in peace. _

_"That was awesome." Joker grins beside me, "Did you like that?" He asks the woman across the table with a lewd grin "An awesome display of manliness and strength." He concludes with a horrid wink and I groan inwardly as the woman curls a lip in response. Seeing he's getting nowhere he turns to me and sighs "I bet women biotics are a riot in the sack." He smiles._

_In that instant I feel a change to the air – like a pulse, as the hairs on my arms stand on end. Joker cries out; grabbing his chair as it is lifted in the air, hovering level with the table and I feel panic flutter into my gut. If he were to break a bone now there is no way they would let him pilot the Normandy. Joker has been waiting his whole life for this. I focus, reaching out to the chair and forcing it back to the floor gently. The strain is immense, and I glance around for the biotic who has initiated this tug of war. _

_It's that woman. The one who sat across from us._

_I push with all my might, the chair teetering so close to the ground, but she is immensely powerful. She glares at me, the ferocity in those blue eyes captivating, and I glare back – there is no way I'm backing down. Not now. Not ever._

_She wrenches to her feet, her chair toppling back behind her, the blue glow of biotics swirling around her as she changes her focus, charging for an attack. I get to my feet – determined to show I will not back down from a threat, feeling my skin begin to prickle and tighten as my own biotics swirl and dance around me. I grit my teeth as she raises a hand in preparation._

_"Stand down!" The voice is heavy, commanding and immediately the blue hum winks out of her. I take a breath, letting it go to find we have a crowd of people watching the scene. Captain Anderson clears his throat and I snap a salute to him, the woman folds her arms over her chest. I glare at her with contempt – how could she be so informal?!_

_"Alenko," The Captain says idly "Get her bags."_

_I blink… did he just say..?_

_Then he is walking off, the woman by his side and I am left to pick her bag from the chair. I try to keep myself calm as I yank it free, unable to hide the annoyance from my gesture. Then I see the letters stamped into the khaki green of the material S.R. Cooper with a dark line through the name and underneath written in thick black letters Commander A. Shepard. I close my eyes._

_Oh shit._

"So why don't you just ask her out and get it over with." Joker said and Kaidan flinched brought out of his reverie "What's holding you back? If she doesn't like you she'll soon let you know about it."

"I…" Kaidan shook his head "She's a little outta my league Joker." He confessed, smiling.

Joker blinked, pressing his hands to the breast pocket of his jacket, then to his jeans, as he glanced around the floor for lost credits. Sighing Kaidan took a step back, helping him search, he didn't look drunk enough to start dropping money.

"What have you lost?" Kaidan asked, turning to glance down the steps in case it was dropped on their way up.

"Nothing." Joker retorted sharply "I was looking for your balls. I'm sure when I met you, you had some."

Kaidan paused, giving him a withering look before finishing the last of his drink. He was not about to discuss it with Joker – who saw everything in the world almost black and white. He didn't like grey, but Kaidan seemed to live in a perpetual world of grey.

"Here they are." Joker said, peering over the top of the Quasar machine at the women who had just entered Flux. Ashley was laughing, her arm looped through Shepard's as she steered them toward the bar. Kaidan pressed a hand to his chest absently, as he watched them – watched Shepard to be more accurate.

She looked stunning in figure hugging jeans and a white spaghetti-strap top. It was so casual it took his breath from him to see her out of uniform. She leaned into Ashley at the bar; laughing as she spoke and Kaidan wished it could be him she was speaking to. Always him. He would do anything to hear her laugh like that with him, to see that light in her eyes.

He was in love, and the thought terrified him.

"You might want to tuck your tongue into your belt before someone trips on it." Joker mumbled beside him, finishing his game and collecting his card to push back into his combats. "Let's go and get some drinks with them." He announced; for once Kaidan agreed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Title**: Virmire Part Three  
**Author**: DinkyMew  
**Game**: Mass Effect (One)  
**Disclaimer**: Bioware own all content and characters related to the Mass Effect Franchise. Abigail Shepard is my own creation inspired by the character Jane Shepard created by Bioware. All original characters contained herein are my own creations and are not necessarily affiliated with Bioware. While I do not profit from this in any way I would like to reserve the use of my work; you may not copy or distribute without my permission. The story may deviate from the original and for this I ask your forgiveness; any digression is intended for entertainment purposes and not to offend.  
**Characters**: Abigail Shepard (F); Ashley Williams (F); Jeff 'Joker' Moreau (M); Kaidan Alenko (M); Captain David Anderson (M); Original Character Stewart 'Spooner' Cooper (M) **Character Pairings suggested in the writing**: Abigail Shepard & Kaidan Alenko; mild Ashley Williams & Jeff Moreau

_Spooner wants to be my guardian. _

_That thought swirls around my head incessantly as I watch them convert the small storage room into a bedroom for me. I'm going to live on this ship; amongst these marines and the Admiral has even promised me a place in the ranks when I reach 18. I don't think I could have asked for more if I had tried. _

_The storage room is small, barely big enough to wedge a bed inside, but I like it. It's dark and secluded and I've convinced them to leave a shelf up which runs parallel to my bed, under a window. It means when I'm in there I can sit on that shelf and watch out the window – not that there is much to see in space; stars and the occasional planet – but I like to watch the FTL stream. I like to know we are moving, constantly, moving. It's the only time I feel safe._

_Stuffing my hands into the pockets of my Alliance jogging bottoms I approach my new room, smiling shyly at the marines who are manhandling the metal frame of a bunk into the tiny space, panting with effort trying to get it to fit._

"_Can I help?" I ask and the one nearest the doorway turns; dark eyes squinting at me in humour._

"_You're a'ight." He breathes, giving me a kind smile "We'll get it in one way or the other." He pauses as though thinking and then adds "You know I saw Spooner in the Mess, why don't you go get yourself something to eat. You look like you could stand to gain a little weight."_

_I watch them a moment longer, trying to decide whether I am offended by that statement or not before I decide not and begin the walk through the narrow halls to the Mess. I pass the crew quarters, which are rarely empty – there is always someone trying to catch a few hours after their shift, so I move quietly, rounding the corner where left will take me to the Mess and right to cockpit. _

_I turn left; as much as I love the cockpit that tends to be the Admiral's domain and I would rather avoid him if I can. It's not that I don't like the guy – he's done nothing but try to help me since I was rescued from Mindoir, but he wears authority with such a casual manner I never know when he is joking or being serious; when to call him 'sir' and salute or when to smile and talk informally. Some people call him Johnson, which I assume is a surname, but I wouldn't dare. _

_I enter the mess, which is warm and humming situated next to the engine room. The tables are rectangular, chrome and scrubbed clean after each meal by Adria – the only other female on board. I wish I could speak more to her, but she's an incredibly distant character and she hates the sight of me I'm sure. Often you can hear her complain that I eat the same as a grown marine and she has no idea where it goes. Neither do I, but I am always hungry._

_Spooner is sat at one of the tables, a book – an actual book – splayed out in front of him. He looks up as I come in, gives me what looks like an awkward smile and turns back to what he was doing. I hesitate – he hasn't really spoken to me since our meeting with the Admiral, and I have kept my promise, helping around the ship where I am allowed. The engineers have banned me from their engine room though – apparently they don't trust me tinkering with the drives. _

"_Whatcha reading?" I ask him, drawing the sleeves of my hooded top over my hands. I take a seat across from him, tucking my knees up under my chin and gripping the toes of my sneakers with my fingertips. _

"_A book." Spooner smiles, his eyes still on the pages in front of him. _

_I wait a moment to see if he is going to elaborate and when he doesn't I persist "What book?"_

_He glances up at me this time and I catch my breath. His green eyes hold mine a moment – but it feels like forever, it feels like I could spend forever just gazing into his emerald eyes and I would be so blissfully happy. His mouth curves up into that lopsided smile, that carefree, kind smile that digs right under my skin. He's in his uniform today, the Alliance shirt straining to cover the sculpted muscle of his chest and shoulders. The sleeves cut off at the shoulder joint, his arms too large to fit apparently._

"_It's an old book." He says, smoothing a hand down his stubbled jaw "One my great grandpap had kept." He clears his throat and looks to me "Want something to eat?"_

_I do, but the thought of eating in front of him makes me nervous and I know I wouldn't be able to keep anything down so I shake my head, giving him a smile. _

"_You settling into your room?" He asks and I move my shoulders._

"_They're still setting it up." I say, and I watch him as he marks his place in the book and sets it aside. "Why did you want to be my guardian?" I ask and the moment I do I wish I could take it back. The words spill out my mouth unbidden, almost unthought – just a reaction to the situation and I kick myself. Spooner sighs, leaning back in his chair as he looks at me seriously. The intensity in his eyes makes my skin burn._

"_I don't know." He says honestly "You ask anyone on here, they'll tell you I hate kids. Hate them." He smiles, his face blossoming pink as he talks candidly with me "When I saw what had happened to Mindoir, and then I found you – I made a promise to myself I would get you off that planet alive. I had no idea it was you that would save us both Abigail." He pauses, leaning forward and folding his hands on the tabletop "When I heard they were shipping you to an orphanage…" He shakes his head "I've lived in one, I'm damn lucky that someone saw potential in me as a young 'un and took me in. Would never have made it to the military otherwise. You saved my life – I guess I wanted to return the favour. I wanted to be that person for you, that could see your potential and give you a chance."_

_My eyes sting with tears as I listen to his words; I wish I could kiss him. I wish I could stay by his side forever and ever. I nod, turning my eyes from him for fear I will start crying. I don't want him to see me cry, I want him to think I am the strongest person alive, I want to show him I can do this._

"_Does that make sense Skipper?" He asks and I nod, it makes perfect sense._

_I love him too._

The bar at Flux was too busy – the heavy drum of the bass and the noise of the patrons swirled and danced into a cacophony that drilled out almost everything else. So when Kaidan spoke to her, at first she didn't hear him. Watching Ashley's mouth, trying to decipher her words, Abigail Shepard took from her glass and nodded in response, hoping it conveyed she was listening and agreeing to whatever the other woman was saying. She didn't have a hope in hell of hearing her. She smiled ruefully; too many battles had worn her hearing apparently.

Fingers touched her elbow and she flinched, jumping a little as she turned to see Kaidan and Joker, both dressed down surprisingly and holding a drink each. Ashley gave a cry, loud enough that she did hear it and threw her arms around the Lieutenant; neither of them had thought he would actually _come_.

"I can't believe you actually left the Mess!" Ashley beamed at him, and Abigail smiled, watching her friend moon over Alenko was possibly the highlight of the evening. She was so painfully obvious. For his part Kaidan stood rigid, looking as out of place as ever as he glanced around the floor, his head bobbing a little as he nodded some agreement. Joker wedged himself onto a stool next to her, and Abigail gave him a warm smile – he had come a long way in her eyes since she had met him. At least he had stopped trying to hit on her.

"Want a drink?" He yelled to her and Abigail shook her head, holding her glass up for him to see. He smiled, as if to say 'you'll need more than that' and ordered her one anyway.

"I want to dance!" Ashley called, gripping Kaidan's arm.

In that moment he looked as though he wanted to die. The colour drained from his face as he looked sharply to Ashley, realising her intent and began to shake his head, his excuses too fast and quiet for Abigail to hear from where she sat. He tried to shake his arm free, but Ashley had him in a vice grip, her smile and her eyes telling him he was going nowhere but the dance-floor. Abigail watched them go; feeling her heart flutter weakly. She cared for Kaidan; hell she might even love him, but she would never stand in the way of Ashley; she deserved someone like the Lieutenant in her life, and she would just have to come to terms with it. Besides, he was her subordinate, she wasn't supposed to see him in any kind of sexual way – but oh… wasn't that a struggle?

Even now, as he stepped awkwardly from one foot to the other, glancing around him for any escape as Ashley wiggled beside him – just a little too close to be friendly – Abigail couldn't help but imagine him in some state of undress. He looked good dressed down too, which was of no help, in black old style denim jeans and a white shirt open over a white tank top.

"Here you go Commander." Joker said beside her, snapping her out of her reverie as she turned away from the scene, back to the bar and accepted the drink Joker offered.  
"Thanks." She smiled and he nodded, tipping his cap a little with his finger – the mannerism somehow comforting.

"She really likes him." Abigail said after a moment, more to remind herself why she abstained rather than pursued Kaidan than anything else. Beside her Joker nodded sagely.

"Yep." He sighed "Ashley's a great woman too – Kaidan would be lucky to get her." He gave her a sidelong glance and cleared his throat "You wouldn't have a problem with that? On your ship I mean? Aren't there regs against fraternisation?"

Abigail swallowed a mouthful of her drink, feeling it burn all the way to her gut. Stifling a short cough she shook her head "We're not on the ship Joker." She swallowed "And as long as it stays professional on board… what's the harm?"

"Huh." Joker nodded, downing his drink in one before slamming the glass on the counter "I never had you pinned for that sort of Commander." He said at last "I thought you were a hard-ass."

Abigail smiled, finishing her drink and copying his gesture, slamming the glass on to the counter "When I need to be Joker – when I need to be."

"Another?" He asked, raising a challenging eyebrow to her. Abigail swithered, there were very clear guidelines about alcohol consumption and biotics, but on the other hand she deserved to be a little reckless; these last few months she had been to hell and back and to top that off she had just discovered a man she had spent years thinking had simply forgotten about her after promising to never do so had in fact been killed in action and had left his worldly possessions to her. She had spent years hating him, years resenting him and it was completely undeserved. Slowly she nodded, watching as Joker ordered them another round.

Kaidan didn't dance. Not socially anyway.

Alone, in the crew quarters if he fancied a bit of music he might shimmy here and there, he might even be adventurous and give a foot tap – but never dancing. Certainly not in public; and definitely not in front of Shepard.

Beside him Ashley moved, her body rocking to the music against him, one arm on his shoulder more to keep him there he was sure than anything else. Around them other bodies pressed in, the heat and the noise almost unbearable as he struggled to breathe. He peered over the heads, glimpsing Abigail sitting at the bar with Joker; she was laughing, pressing a gentle hand on Joker's shoulder as she shook her head, dark hair shivering delightfully under the strobe lighting. He wished he could be there.

"LT." Ashley's voice brought him back and he looked down at her, smiling woodenly. She laid a hand on his chest, pushing up onto her toes and pressing her lips to his in such a rush he was completely caught off guard. Gently he pushed her back, his hands on her shoulders, already shaking his head.

"Ashley!" He said, loud enough for her to hear over the music, but not enough to draw attention "Ashley, no." He said gently "You're… you're my friend."

She looked up at him, her dark eyes playful as she rolled a shoulder "Come on LT, we've only got one night of shore leave."

He watched her, knowing with certainty that he did not have feelings that way for her. That to capitalise on her affections would be wrong, it would be a vile and horrible thing to do to her. He felt panicky, suddenly bereft as he watched her helplessly, unsure of what to say or do – this was completely out of nowhere and it made him feel incredibly lonely.

"I…" He shook his head "No Ash, I don't want that." He said thickly, seeing the playfulness leave her eyes to be replaced by mistrust and hurt "I'm sorry." He added, taking her hands in his and placing them at her sides "I had no idea you… I mean… I would have said – I would never have let you-"

"Embarrass myself?" She asked sharply and he swallowed, expecting her to start ranting any moment. Instead she broke into a smile, shaking her head "You know something Alenko?" She asked him, ruffling his hair "You are a complete mystery." She sighed "Let's not make a big thing out of this ok? I don't want it to change our friendship."

Kaidan watched her, perplexed – it was not the reaction he had expected but he nodded anyway "Absolutely." He said firmly. She made to turn from him and he caught her arm, halting her "Are we… ok?"

She smiled, but he could see the shadow of hurt in her eyes and it killed him a little "Absolutely." She said.

With that she pushed away from him, milling through the writhe of bodies toward the bar once more. He followed, feeling hot and uncomfortable and trapped. Joker spun in the stool to greet him, his face a myriad of amusement, delight and feigned concern. Kaidan glanced to Abigail who was talking with Ashley, quietly and he felt his face flush with heat. She was going to tell Shepard what an ass he was – if there ever was a chance, however slim, he felt it slipping from his fingers as he sank to sit on a stool beside his friend.

"Everything ok?" Joker asked, raising his eyebrows at him in an inconspicuous manner.

Kaidan gave him a withering look; he obviously knew about Ashley and hadn't told him. Typical Joker.

"I think I'm going to head in." Abigail smiled, patting Ashley's shoulder gently as she hopped off her stool "Too much alcohol for me in one night. Besides unlike the rest of you slackers I need to be up at the crack of dawn."

"Seriously?" Joker pressed, his eyebrows arching as he watched her "Shore leave?"

She smiled "Yeah, for the crew. Unfortunately Shore Leave isn't as long for the CO. I need to report to Captain Anderson tomorrow."

"I think I'll join you." Kaidan jumped in, avoiding Joker's gaze as he stood uneasily "I could use some quiet for a while. My apartment is on the way back to the Normandy, I'll walk you part way."


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Virmire Part Four  
Author: DinkyMew  
Game: Mass Effect  
Disclaimer: Bioware own all content and characters related to the Mass Effect franchise. Abigail Shepard is my own creation based on the character of Jane Shepard created by Bioware. Any original characters contained herein are my own creations and are not necessarily affiliated with Bioware. The story may deviate from the original game and for this I ask your forgiveness, any anomalies are for entertainment purposes and not to offend.  
Characters Featured: Kaidan Alenko (M); Abigail Shepard (F); Ashley Williams (F); Jeff 'Joker' Moreau (M); Original character Stewart 'Spooner' Cooper

Kaidan winced; trying to keep his face unreadable, trying desperately to still his tongue as he watched the Batarian through the mirror work over him. He wished he had convinced them all to go to the Asari on the presidium; but somehow he had been crowned the party-pooper of the night and was the butt of their jokes; this being the final curtain.

Despite her hot protests to the fact Joker and Ashley had managed to convince Shepard to stay out longer; like coaxing a badger from its den, and once she had started drinking she was soon laughing and joking alongside them all. It had been her magnificent idea to get a tattoo together – all four of them, and it had also been her brilliant idea to disregard Kaidan's advice about the Asari and go for the much more practical (apparently) and nearer Batarian store aptly named 'Inksperts'.

He smiled grimly to his own reflection, he didn't have to agree with her – he could have turned in, left the three of them to it, but damn it she had a way of making him do stupid stuff just with that glint in her eye and that special smile on her lips. He was sure it was a smile she reserved just for him. It had been hard enough keeping himself contained when the Batarian had pulled Shepard's spaghetti-strap down to work on her shoulder – he was sure he could hear blood gushing through his ears at that moment when his eyes had been drawn to that tender, marble slice of skin. And the alcohol didn't help; not at all.

There was a reason biotics didn't drink; and he should know better.

The three of them were huddled at the window of the store, looking out over the wards, shoulders bared to the night air and glowing pink from their fresh tattoos; each one sporting an Alliance symbol. They were all going to regret this come morning.

The laser bit into his skin, carving the inverted 'V' of the Alliance symbol into his shoulder and all the while he couldn't take his eyes off Shepard's reflection in the mirror, laughing wildly with Joker and Ashley; the warmth of liquor having finally released the woman that so often hid behind the Commander.

And God she was beautiful.

The Batarian cleared his throat roughly, blinking two sets of eyes at him in the mirror as he nodded "All you humans such pussies?" He growled and Kaidan blinked, mildly offended but in his not so sober state figured it was best to keep quiet. "I've never met aliens less able to hold their drink." He continued, wiping Kaidan's shoulder with a dirty rag. He squinted a little and then threw the laser pen on the metal tray beside them. "Done." He announced.

Kaidan turned to him, shaking his head "No you're not. I want something else done."

_Six months in and the Humbee is as familiar as my own reflection in the crew bathrooms. _

_Although, looking at my reflection now, it doesn't seem so familiar. _

_While docked at the Citadel I was allowed the rare opportunity to travel to the wards with Spooner. Officially we were looking for new couplings for the engine room – and with my reputation fast becoming legend with the engineers – they had insisted Spooner take me with him to ensure they got the correct tech. _

_Less than an hour and we had located an angry, hulking monster selling salvage; Spooner called it a Krogan – but it had insisted its name was Naev. I don't really care – it was possibly the scariest thing I have ever seen; and smelly to boot. _

_The highlight was that because we had found the part so quickly Spooner decided to spend some more time just taking me around the Citadel and showing me the sights. We passed an array of stores, some Spooner seemed to know well – others he claimed were new since he was last there. Apparently stores close and open all the time in the lower wards and most of the area was rife with poverty. _

_Strange. I always considered that to be such a human condition – but poverty transcends even race apparently, the one monster that no one can escape. _

_He told me that the Citadel was the heart of the Galactic Community and the home of the Citadel Council; a trio of alien species that decided most of the galactic affairs between them. Humanity did not have a say, but apparently we do have a representative with an office somewhere in the Presidium; but Spooner said we weren't going up there. _

_Too rich for his blood; that was what he had said._

_I did though, see a picture of the council, the three figureheads were as foreign to me as their races. The first was a Turian, I recognised the alien from my father's work back on Mindoir – he had the same hawk-like gaze and expressionless face. The second Spooner had said was a Salarian; a species I had never come across, but apparently intelligent and fast-talking. He looked like some kind of mutated Geko, with large reptilian eyes. The third was an Asari. Possibly the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Ever._

_She was blue; her skin flawless. She looked like a woman in shape, but where she should have had flowing hair instead she had a crown of solid skin folds. Her eyes were large and kind and rimmed with dark liner. I wanted to be her._

_So, when Spooner offered to buy me some things I immediately told him I wanted some make-up. My mother used to keep make-up at her dresser, and I was never allowed to use it. Most of it was old stuff, passed down from her parents – not like the stuff we got from the Asari store._

_Since we got back I have been locked in here; in the crew bathroom reserved for female flight staff, trying the make-up out. I think the colours are a little too bright for my skin; and I'm not so good at the application; my mother never taught me how to do this, but if I squint my eyes almost closed I think I look good. Older – which is good; Spooner I think would like older._

_I gather my dark hair up on top of my head and pout at myself the way the women in the calendars in engineering do. I look ok._

_Satisfied I hop back off the counter, and unlock the door, waiting for them to hiss open. As I leave I see a man coming out of the male bathrooms, a towel tucked around his waist. He pauses as he sees me and I ready to salute when I realise it is Spooner. _

_Spooner. Dripping wet and in nothing but a towel._

_My hand only makes it to my chest, where I press it against my heart as I smile at him. His blonde hair, darkened by the water is plastered to his scalp at odd angles. His skin is vibrant and fresh from the hot spray and I wonder what it would be like to touch his shoulders, which – without the obscurity of clothing – I can see are as well sculpted as I had imagined. The towel around his waist does nothing to hide the scoring of his six packed muscular stomach, or the sweeping curves of his chest._

_He blinks at me, his green eyes batting water that has dripped from his hair as he returns my smile._

"_Skipper." He says in greeting and so casual too! As if he were standing in his uniform rather than a towel, so close to me I am almost certain he can hear my heart skipping beats. He frowns, the smile reaching his eyes as he takes a step toward me. _

"_What is that on your face?" He asks and I feel myself blush._

"_Make-up." I bleat; pushing my hair behind my ears._

_He makes a noise; somewhere between a sigh and a huff and shakes his head "You don't need make-up Skipper." He says, chucking me under the chin. "You're pretty 'nough without it."_

Abigail watched Ashley as she downed another liquor tube with haste, wiping her mouth absently as she winced against the after-burn. Joker had meandered over to where Kaidan was still being inked, why it was taking so long she had no idea, but was thankful that she at least had a moment with Ash to talk.

"You alright there Chief?" She asked, casually, looking out the store front to the dregs of the Citadel as they passed by. Most of the types this far in the wards were criminals; but you got the odd hard-headed businessman too stubborn to give up and admit the district here had gone to hell.

Ashley sat the tube on the floor in front of her, raising bleary eyes as she grinned maniacally back. "Totally fine." She slurred, clearing her throat "You know what – he's too serious for me anyway. Right?"

Shepard smiled "Right." She turned her eyes to her friend, "Seriously though, you're going to be alright?"

Ashley nodded "Absolutely Commander. Shepard. Abby gail!" She squealed into peeling laughter, ending in an ungainly snort as she tried to compose herself "It wasn't like that. I just wanted some fun and Alenko seemed my type. Apparently not. Got the old boot." She smiled "Seriously Shep, I'll be fine."

Satisfied that she was being genuine Abigail sighed, rolling her shoulders and wincing against the flaring pain of her new tattoo. She was definitely going to regret that come the morning. "Well, maybe it's for the best." She said gently "It would have been awkward the morning after with you both being on the Normandy and all."

Ashley smiled, leaning her head against the glass of the storefront with an audible dunk. "I hate the Citadel." She grumbled and Shepard chose not to elaborate on that; Ashley had an intense dislike of anything alien it seemed, intolerance that Shepard found challenging at times and just downright out of line at others.

Joker lumbered back toward them, his gait awkward from the combination of his limp and alcohol and she worried for a moment he was going to topple. Since learning he had a brittle bone disease she constantly worried he was going to get hurt on her watch. She would never admit it to his face but he was the best damn pilot she had ever met – and that wasn't the alcohol talking.

"'Lenko wants to be the biggest man of us all!" He announced, puffing out his chest brashly "He's getting something else done."

"As long as he is fit for duty tomorrow." Shepard warned unable to keep the crisp tone from her voice – no matter how much she drank she had to be in control here, otherwise they would all be sitting with egg on their face come morning.

"I'm ready!" Kaidan called, standing with his back to them. He was shirtless; she hadn't realised, and the moment seemed to draw to a standstill as she took in the curve of his back and shoulders, one reddened where his Alliance tattoo sat proudly. She wished he would turn around but instead he drew his tank top back over his head, and she came back to herself with a sudden flush of heat. She glanced to Ashley, but she seemed unaware of her predicament and slowly she got to her feet.

"We should be getting back to the Normandy." She said quietly and beside her Joker huffed.

"Yeah." He sighed, tipping his cap "Although I think I'll crash at Kaidan's apartment." He mumbled "It's a little closer and my legs are getting pretty bad."

Kaidan joined their little group an affectionate smile on his face "Well, you didn't take your meds did you?" He chided and Joker rolled his shoulders. "It is closer." Kaidan added "You want me to call you a cab?"

"I'd quite like to walk it." Abigail said, flicking her dark hair over shoulder "I need to stretch my legs a little."

Ashley stood, tapping the front of Joker's cap so it tipped into his eyes "I'll sit with flyboy till the cab gets here then; you two can walk to the apartment. Wouldn't be room for us all anyway and Shepard needs to know where she is going. Don't want another situation like we had the first time we came to the Citadel."

"You mean when we had to send out a notice to C-Sec because she went missing?" Joker chuckled and Abigail punched his arm gently, shaking her head.

"I wasn't missing." She grumbled happily "I was exploring. That's all."

"Fair enough." Kaidan nodded "My apartment isn't far." He said to Shepard "After you."


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Virmire Part Five  
Author: Dinkymew  
Game: Mass Effect (One)  
Disclaimer: Bioware owns all character and contents related to the Mass Effect franchise. Abigail Shepard is my own creation inspired by the character of Jane Shepard created by Bioware. All Original characters herein are my own creations and not necessarily affiliated with Bioware. The story may deviate from the original game and for this I ask your forgiveness, any anomalies are for entertainment purposes and not to offend.  
Characters Featured: Kaidan Alenko (M); Abigail Shepard (F); Ashley Williams (F); Original character Stewart 'Spooner' Cooper (M); Jeff 'Joke' Moreau (M)

They hadn't got very far before Kaidan decided to stop at a Batarian noodle bar, the kind with the glass counter so you could see what they were cooking and how. He was standing by the glass watching with his shirt tucked into the waistband of his jeans. She could see the raw tattoo on his shoulder glowing pink under the muted lighting in the lower wards, could see the muscles in his back shift under his tank top as he turned to glance at her.

His eyes caught hers and she felt the breath leave her instantly. She adored Kaidan's eyes, timeless dark pools that bore into her very soul whenever they rested upon her. She blinked, chiding herself for mooning over him so openly, and returned his smile cooly.

"You want some?" He asked, gesturing back to the restaurant with a jab of his thumb. She scrunched her nose, shaking her head in response.

"I'll just steal some of yours." She grinned taking a seat at one of the small round tables outside the store front. It was a little wobbly but clean enough, a flyer for mercenary recruitment sat idly and she lifted it, running her eyes over the foreign text. She had no hope of reading Batarian, but she recognised the tattoo in the corner of the flyer – a red circle with a black palm stamped into its centre. She frowned, unable to trace exactly where she had seen the design before and equally unable to shake off its familiarity.

This whole district was filled mostly with batarians; the flyer could belong to any number of mercenary gangs and likely it was a group they had come across in their quest to hunt down Saren. She pushed the flyer to the side of the table just as Kaidan sat down with his prize passing a liquor tube to her.

The cartons reminded her of those old Chinese boxes, the kind you used to get chopsticks with in another era. Despite her reluctance to try alien cuisine it didn't smell too bad – and she gave a cautious peek into the container as he got himself comfortable in the chair next to her.

"What is that?" she asked, unable to decipher exactly what the contents were. It resembled noodles, but seemed to be a little more gelatinous than she would have liked them to be, with some chunks of pink meat mixed about. Popping the liquor tube open she took a long drink, the alcohol was heavy and strong and she coughed a little as she focused on him again.

"I don't know." Kaidan said, looking at her seriously "But I am starving."

"You could be eating varren." She warned, wrinkling her nose as he popped a piece of the meat into his mouth.

He moved his shoulders, smiling playfully at her "That is a risk a hungry man is willing to take." He said, his voice deadly serious as he tucked into the meal.

"Did you find it was a relief?" She asked, leaning her head on her hand "When you found out you were a biotic and suddenly there was a reason for you always being so hungry?"

He paused in his eating, considering her question before shaking his head slowly "I suppose it was but… well, by the time I knew about biotics I was already out on Jump Zero." He said it casually, but she could see the darkness in his eyes as he mentioned the facility; the reserved and guarded demeanour that came over him as they broached the subject.

"I heard Jump Zero was…" She cleared her throat "I never went there. By the time my biotics emerged BAaT had been closed for a few years. I went to Blue Horizon – the facility on one of the asteroids around Arcturus?"

He nodded, swallowing before he spoke "I was there. I finished my training there when I came back to the Alliance. Did three years at Blue Horizon; it's a wonder we didn't run into each other, I thought I knew every cadet in that place." He glanced around him as a group of batarians settled into a table a few seats from them, he turned back to her "Yeah BAaT was severe. You either came out of it a superman or a wreck."

"And you?" She asked, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

He smiled wryly at her, his face colouring as he picked at the noodles "Well… I guess I was a wreck when I left." He frowned "But you live and learn I guess."

"I wouldn't say you're a wreck Kaidan." She said honestly, and he paused, looking at her. There was a long moment between them, painfully electric as she looked into his eyes and he looked back into hers. She wanted to lean in and kiss him, breathe in his scent and press her body against him; she could feel the gentle flare of her biotics humming against his, like some kind of deep sense that made her heart hammer against her ribs.

"It's surprising." He said slowly, his eyes never leaving hers "What can change a man."

"Hey Otro!" A batarian from the new table called pulling her from Kaidan's gaze momentarily as she glanced beyond him to see the Batarian leaning forward over the table "What the hell you serving these filthy humans for? Pickings that slim down here eh?"

She could feel Kaidan bristle as he cleared his throat, and she met his look as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. She could see his hands clench to fists in front of him as he looked to her "Maybe we should think about going." He said quietly.

Abigail frowned, she would be damned if she was going to let some Batarian chase her away with some stupid comments. There were five in the group, all laughing and joking now as they waited for their meals to be delivered to their tables. The one who had shouted appeared to be the leader, dressed in an impressive suit of armour with that same tattoo branded on the breastplate, the one she had seen on the flyers. The other four were dressed in red worksuits, perhaps dock workers here in the wards?

"Come on." Kaidan said quietly and she looked back to him as he finished his meal and pushed the carton to the centre of the table. "We should be getting back anyway." He added with a small smile.

Relenting Abigail downed the rest of her alcohol, pushing her chair back carefully as she got to her feet unsteadily.

"Are you a little drunk Commander?" Kaidan asked playfully.

"What makes you ask?" She smiled, turning to face him as she pushed her chair back in carefully.

"Your attempt at a straight line." Kaidan mused.

Fixing him with a playful glare she turned her back on him once more, flicking her hair over her shoulder with attitude. "You are so lucky I have no idea where we are going Alenko, otherwise I would lay your ass out, right here – in front of all these witnesses." She declared, moving to sweep past the table of batarians.

Somehow, whether it be a genuine miss-step or the belated effects of alcohol she couldn't be sure, but she stumbled, her ankle turning under her and she collided into the back of the Batarian leader. Face blossoming with colour she righted herself, pushing her hair behind her ears as she cleared her throat.

"Sorry." She smiled, stifling a laugh – suddenly everything was hilarious - as she took a wary step back. The batarians all turned to face her, all eyes fixing her with a solid, tolerant glare. Behind her she felt Kaidan touch her arm, but her attention was elsewhere – caught by that tattoo on the batarian's armour. It was so familiar, she grasped at the edges of memory but it fled from her fingers.

"If you're not careful, you'll lay yourself out on your own ass." Kaidan mumbled, gently pulling her back toward him. She frowned, staring at the batarians as they stared back at her. At last, the one she had knocked into growled, turning away from her as he faced his friends again.

"Only thing they are good for is slaves." He muttered, under his breath but she heard him and as though a light had been turned on she froze suddenly realising where she had seen that tattoo before.

It had been back on Mindoir, printed on the wreckage of a carrier shuttle, scored into the skin of every slaver that had been on the planet that night.

As though someone had opened a floodgate to her memories suddenly images flashed before her eyes – her mother, her father, her friends, her school – Mindoir burning, the rubble the screams the smell of smoke and death and the sound of her whole world ending and above all: that permeating, vulnerable feeling sinking through her skin like acid rain.

"Shepard?" The words were like a drop of water, falling to a lake below, and she was the ripples.

She turned, her vision focused on that Batarian leader – everything else almost blacked out as her sight funnelled so she could see only him.

As she strode toward him his friends began to scramble to their feet, but they were too late – she was going to kill him before they were even on their feet. Summoning her strength, feeling the sudden kick of biotics she worked the power, reaching a hand out to throw a warp against him. At the moment she anticipated the blast though, it never came.

Instead a barrier flushed through her skin and she was left standing, her arm extended as the Batarian leader got out of his seat slowly, menacingly.

There was a reason biotics didn't drink.

She had little time to react, the Batarian rounded on her, pushing her arm aside as he threw a punch she somehow managed to dodge, coming at her immediately with another and she was forced to back away, blocking his strikes successfully – but feeling the repercussions of taking on such brute strength hand to hand.

Behind her she heard Kaidan rush to join the fray, momentarily caught off guard and worried for his safety she glanced for him and the Batarian seized the advantage, wrapping a thick hand around her throat as he lifted her clean off the ground. She struggled uselessly in his grip, raking nails over his fingers as she thrashed and kicked and clawed at him. He smiled up at her, four eyes blinking in unison as he let out a thunderous laugh.

She could see Kaidan now, slugging against the other batarians, he had managed to take two out; the remaining two circling him menacingly.

"You would make one pretty slave." The Batarian murmured, pausing to stroke her hair down her face. She crushed her eyes closed, willing her strength to return, willing control into herself.

"You… were on Mindoir…" she choked, black spots floating into her vision as she blinked into unconsciousness briefly.

The Batarian squeezed harder on her throat, bringing her face closer to his so he could growl at her "Only way you could know that is if you were there." He said dangerously "And that's not possible. My whole gang was wiped out that night – them and every single child we had captured by some crazy bitch with a grenade." He tightened his grip a little more and she felt her life draining from her slowly. Somewhere in the distance she could hear Kaidan shouting her name.

"Did you know her?" The Batarian whispered viciously.

A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth as she met his eyes "She was my mom."

With that she summoned everything she had, everything she had left in her, pushing outward with her scream as she brought both arms up and threw them down viciously on the batarian's extended one. With the combination of the blow and her biotics she heard the bone snap and she was dropped mercifully to the ground. With a roar she barrelled forward into the Batarian, taking him to the ground with her as she gripped his head in both her hands. With a wicked twist he went still beneath her.

It was over.

She tried to get to her feet, but the blackness was sweeping in thick and fast – pressing a hand to the floor she sucked in a breath, the ground rushing to meet her as the yawning darkness swallowed her whole.

"_This is Nicola." _

_I look her up and down; she's very pretty with long red hair and skin the colour of marble. Her blue eyes are kind and she smiles nervously at me; I have no idea why I am being made to meet her – not every new crew member on the Humbee is big news._

"_I've heard a lot about you." She says, and her accent is English, it makes me smile; not because I like it, but because it sounds so funny compared to everyone else's. I look to Spooner to see if he shares my humour but his face is serious, and he is watching me closely so I let it go, dropping the corners of my mouth as I take the hand she has offered and shake politely. _

"_Nice to meet you." I say non-committedly; CIC officers are uninteresting to me. I glance over her clean, pressed uniform and feel a little self-conscious standing in my grubby denim dungarees – I'm covered in grease and oil having just been through the shafts for the engineers installing new thermal-graded sensors in the more awkward places._

"_Well, I suppose I will see you around the ship." Nicola says, her sweet sing-song voice grating as I give her my best smile. I hope I won't see a lot of her. She gives me a little wave, moving back toward the bridge of the frigate and I turn to Spooner. His arms are folded over his bulging pectorals, his green eyes making me freeze to the spot._

"_Be nice. It's not easy for a new crew member to blend in." He says and I smile; he knows me too well. "None of your shit you pulled with Craigles in engineering." He warns and my smile widens as I remember the pranks I had set out for the newest engineer to the roster._

_I'm about to answer when the sound of an alarm blares through the ship. I immediately duck, covering my ears, as I glance around for a source. We're grounded; we're not in motion so there is no way we could be getting attacked. We've been grounded on this planet a few days now while we repaired some minor damages. _

_Spooner is in motion, striding toward the bridge he barks some orders at the CIC officers, the Admiral coming to his side as the commotion drowns out their voices._

"_They're outside the ship." A voice reports "Heavily armed, we're going to have send a task force out."_

_I look to Spooner for guidance, already marching away from the console he pushes past me in a rush and I follow him, more in desperation than anything else, keeping pace as he makes his way to the shuttle bay. _

"_What's happening?" I ask him as he moves to his locker, pulling the pieces of his armour free swiftly. _

"_We're under attack Skipper." He says getting ready "There are mercenaries attacking the ship outside." _

_I watch him as he pulls armour on feeling my heart sink in my chest. It's happening again and the knowledge that this could be the end of my home grips me with a terror I've felt only once before. A terror that roots me to the spot as I watch him gather weapons from his locker. The moment you're not moving is the moment they find you._

"_Don't go." I beg him, reaching for his arm suddenly "Please Spooner." _

_He looks to me, only his eyes visible through the visor of his helmet._

"_I'll be back." He says firmly, placing a gloved hand over mine on his forearm "I promise."_

_He touches my chin, shouldering a rifle as he takes off in a jog. I watch him go, fear and panic swelling within me to the point I think I might faint. I can't just sit and wait; I won't just sit and wait. Shaking, my eyes blurry with tears I lift a pistol from the locker._

By the time he got back to his apartment Joker and Ashley were passed out on the couch. Luckily he had managed to get Shepard out of the district in a cab without too much commotion; he would have stayed to talk to C-sec but the owner of the noodle bar had waved him off, thanking him for doing the sector a favour and insisting he would handle any C-sec officers that came by. Reluctantly Kaidan had accepted the arrangement; more concerned with getting Shepard somewhere safe where he could check her over than covering his own ass.

His apartment wasn't terribly big and it was still cluttered with boxes from when he moved back in from Arcturus at the end of his Alliance training. The kitchenette was pristine, as he liked to keep it, but he noticed the wine cooler was empty. Carrying Shepard as carefully as he could he made his way to the seated area which was down two steps. It was a snug setup – two couches sitting at right angles framing a large glass coffee table that he noticed was littered with empty wine glasses and a couple of bottles.

Laying Shepard on the empty couch he moved silently back into the kitchenette taking the wine glasses with him by the stems. Placing them gently in the sink he filled a bowl with cool water, grabbing a cloth from the drawer he took the steps quickly again and sat the items on the table, kneeling by the sofa where Shepard lay.

She looked peaceful; her angelic face still in slumber, long lashes resting on her cheeks, full red lips slightly parted. He watched her as her brow furrowed a little, creasing just above her nose and he took the cloth carefully in his hands, wringing it over the bowl carefully.

He had never seen her like that before; but he had heard her mention Mindoir – and that couldn't be good. He had read Shepard's personnel file, like every crew member on the Normandy he had anticipated her arrival on the frigate with a mixture of awe and excitement; the hero of Elysium – a legend within the Alliance, and a biotic too; he would be lying if he hadn't thought she was an idol. So he knew her parents had been killed on Mindoir, that her whole colony had been killed on Mindoir, that she had been the only survivor.

Gently he swept the cloth over her forehead, pressing gently against her temple where a bruise was beginning to colour. Her eyes fluttered, and then opened, those long lashes parting to reveal the crystal blue of her eyes within. He paused, looking down into her eyes as they focused on him – momentarily worried before those walls came crashing down once more and they became the colour of steel.

"Hey," He smiled "There you are."

She blinked, looking up at him, her chest heaving as she took in her surroundings like a cornered animal "What happened?" She asked, her voice wavering.

"It's ok." He said, pressing the cloth back to her temple "We're at my apartment. You're safe."

She seemed to relax a little at that statement, wincing against the cloth as she closed her eyes briefly. "Why are we whispering?" She asked.

"It's late." Kaidan smiled gently "And Ashley and Joker are asleep just there." He waited a beat before he added "How are you feeling?"

She moved her shoulders, her eyes still closed as she ground her teeth "I'm fine."

He held his composure, but inside he sighed heavily, frustrated that she could be so open and closed in one breath. Setting the cloth aside he got back to his feet slowly and moved back into the kitchenette. Flicking the button for the coffee machine he rubbed his face quickly with his hands, setting out two mugs as he took a moment to go over the events of the night.

He could hear the creak of the couch as she got up, and for a fearful moment he thought she was going to leave, but he didn't hear the door. Pouring a mug each he moved back to the living room. She was up, sitting on the wide windowsill of the apartment window, watching the flightcars zoom past – their lights dancing and twinkling off the glass and the lakes of the presidium. Her knees were drawn up to her chest, her face turned away from her.

Quietly he offered her a mug and she turned to him, taking it gingerly in both her hands as he wedged himself onto the wide windowsill carefully. "You don't like talking about this stuff do you?" He prodded. To an extent he could understand it, after all he had plenty baggage himself he didn't like to share – but his feelings for this woman made him persist – he wanted her to be happy; he wanted to help if he could.

"I just don't like talking." She said carefully "I don't remember a lot; if that is what you're asking. If you want to know what happened on Mindoir I don't know." She looked away from him, back out onto the presidium "I spent most of that time locked in an LPR."

He frowned the acronym familiar "An LPR?" He asked gently.

"Last Point of Refuge." She said quietly, sipping the coffee "My mother bundled me inside before she took off."

He cleared his throat, setting his own mug behind him "Do you remember her? You would have been what…16?"

She shook her head, her eyes glittering with tears as she fought to hold them back "I remember her hair. It smelled like honey." She cleared her throat, but when she spoke her voice was still thick and it cracked as she whispered "She was pregnant with my baby brother the night she died. We were going to call him Charlie."

With an embarrassed smile she wiped at her eyes, shaking her head "I'm sorry Kaidan." She said firmly "This is really unprofessional of me. It was a long time ago and… well… you live and learn right? You said that."

He smiled bitterly as his own words came back to him "What did you learn Shepard?" He asked and she moved her shoulders, setting her mug down.

"I guess I learned that the minute you stay still in someplace is the time you are most in danger. The moment you start to really love something is the moment you are setting yourself up for a world of hurt." She sniffed, raking fingers through her hair as she added "You're never safe. Not really."

"You're safe with me." He offered, and he meant it – every word of it, but when she looked at him her eyes were filled with a pain that killed him.

"Kaidan…" She whispered, but he reached for her, his hand sliding into her soft hair and silencing her as he leaned forward. Her scent surrounded him, soft and sweet with vanilla and almonds, he could hear her heart – or was that his own? – as he pressed closer, the heat of her lips radiating against his as he brushed his mouth against hers-

"Oh you're back!"

The voice was so loud in the quiet, and they both jumped back like criminals caught in the act. Bumping his mug behind him Kaidan scrambled as it shattered on the floor, spraying glass and coffee over the wooden flooring.

"Chill out Alenko." Joker mused from where he sat "I didn't see anything."


	6. Chapter 6

Title: Virmire Part Six  
Author: DinkyMew  
Game: Mass Effect One  
Disclaimer: Bioware own all content and characters related to the Mass Effect universe. The character of Abigail Shepard is my own creation inspired by the character of Jane Shepard created by Bioware. Any original characters contained herein are my own creation and are not necessarily affiliated with Bioware. You may not replicate; copy or use any of the fiction contained herein without my expressed permission beforehand.  
Characters Featured: Kaidan Alenko (M); Abigail Shepard (F); Captain David Anderson (M); Stewart 'Spooner' Cooper (M)

Commander Shepard yanked the sleeve of her jacket on, frantically pulling her hair into a scrunchy as she moved hurriedly through the docking bay at C-sec headquarters. She tripped, stumbling a little as she pulled the zipper up to her throat, hiding her grubby, marked strap-top from last night under the clean, formal black of Kaidan's Alliance Academy hooded top. She silently hoped he wouldn't be angry at her for just taking it off the back of his door.

Her shoulder ached mournfully and she shook her head as she rounded the corner, past two c-sec officers standing to attention and the Normandy loomed into view, still in her docking cradle. What the hell had she been thinking? It wasn't bad enough she had went and got a tattoo but she had actually killed a mercenary in cold blood and caused a riot in the lower wards that this morning was plastered over the extranet. And worse than all of that combined she had woken this morning somehow sprawled out on a sofa with her head in Kaidan's lap.

Awkward.

No, awkward wasn't the word. Bloody mortifying was more like it.

Rubbing her panda eyes away she paused in the clean room, waiting patiently for the laser scanners to identify her and sanitise her simultaneously. The electronic voice of the scanner sounded as loud as a drum against her ears as she squinted at the doors, a headache thrumming at her temples.

The doors slid open and she stepped inside the hull, immediately glancing left and right to see who was aboard. She had given the crew shore leave to the afternoon and it appeared most of them were taking the opportunity to be off the ship, only a few CIC officers mingled around consoles, and even then they seemed to be chatting rather than working.

She passed them by, heading for her cabin, eager to get into the shower and scrape last night from her mind.

"Shepard!" The voice made her freeze; momentarily panicking as she smoothed her hair gently and turned to see Captain Anderson making his way down from the cockpit. She stuffed her hands into the pockets of the hooded jacket suddenly feeling like a teenager again. He gave her a warm smile, glancing behind him at the crew on board, probably trying to judge whether he could be informal with her or whether he had to maintain that stoic figure of authority.

"Did you get the wave about Virmire?" He asked. _Stoic figure of authority it is then_, she thought with a small smile. She was incredibly fond of Captain Anderson; for all intents and purposes he was her father – she had known him long enough to consider him such anyway and few other people took as avid an interest in her general wellbeing as he did.

"I did." She said, nodding brightly – maybe too brightly because he frowned, giving her that old once over he used to when she would come trailing in at god's hour in the morning having been out all night "I gave the crew the night off so when they get back this afternoon we'll be heading straight there."

He brought his eyes back to hers, suspicion readily apparent in their black depths as he nodded slowly. "The Council are keeping us out of the loop on this one; I would appreciate regular reports."

"Absolutely." She said without hesitation, she may be a Council Spectre but she was an Alliance soldier first and foremost. "Any further forward with Saren and the Geth?"

Anderson looked away at that shaking his head "No. Until we have more evidence of an imminent threat the Council are reluctant to budge. I'll keep trying though." For a moment he looked as though he was going to say more to her; those eyes skirting her dress once more before he cleared his throat and added "Head to Virmire then, we'll talk on a more personal note when you get back."

"Yes sir." She said, watching him as he turned sharply exiting the Normandy in quick strides just as Joker limped through. He paused, saluting the Captain awkwardly before shuffling out of his way and when his eyes met Shepard's he wore the most ridiculous grin she had ever seen. Groaning she turned her back on him, heading to her cabin.

_The pistol is large in my hands, chunky and I can barely get my finger around the butt to fire the trigger. Nevertheless I hold onto it as I clamber inside the ducts, my hand on the rung slips and I fall the remainder, landing painfully inside the shaft on my ankle. I cry out, the noise immediately swallowed by the wail of the alarm and I clamp my hand over the stabbing pain, the pistol dropping to the grating with a clunk. _

_I grind my teeth, blocking out the pain as I crush myself back against the wall. He's dead – I just know he is, and soon whoever is attacking the ship is going to make their way inside, they're going to find me and I'm going to be forced to fight. I have to be ready to fight. _

_Or to die._

_I press my forehead to the barrel of the pistol, my hands trembling so hard I have to fight to keep it steady. My ankle throbs angrily, but it is not broken, I can still roll my foot albeit painfully. Beyond the duct blinks red then black, red then black and I watch the hatch, so intent I imagine the handle turning enough I have to blink and refocus my sight on it. _

_Tears spill from my eyes mindlessly, as light as rain on my skin they burn tracks that are well rehearsed. The enclosed space takes me back to Mindoir, the smell of smoke and death surrounding me as though it had been lingering all along, simply waiting for memory to release its vile clamour. I can almost hear my mother's strangled scream beyond – the sound of thundering boots and angry, incomprehensible orders. _

_The blood presses at the edge of my head, pounding in my temples as I stare at the hatch, unwavering. The wail ceases suddenly and I am plunged into the murky depths of darkness, I hear heavy footsteps above – the sound of shouting and I know my discovery is imminent. Every Alliance vessel has a roster list and I am now placed upon it – in the hands of attackers it is as good as a checklist. _

_Above me I hear the hatch screech as the handle is turned to its point, slowly I steady the pistol, aiming carefully, balancing the butt of the gun on my knees. The hatch pulls upwards, a shaft of light cutting into the blackness and I squint as I press my finger on the trigger – a round fires; the kickback jarring my knee as the bullet ricochets off of metal, finding no purchase as it bounces somewhere useless. _

"_What the hell?!" A voice shouts; a voice I recognise, I drop the gun in fright more than anything else and stare unbelieving as a silhouette covers the entryway. "Skipper? Do you have a gun down there?!"_

_Before I can answer he thrusts a hand toward me, gloved and clad in armour but I grip it nonetheless like it's a saviour. He lifts me easily from the vent without me even having to put a foot on the ladder, with one arm he sets me back inside the shuttle bay beside him his expression unreadable as he seals the hatch once more. Pressing an earpiece inside his helmet he sighs._

"_That should be the blockage cleared Artie?" _

_A response crackles in his ear, but I cannot hear it from where I stand, still shaking my bladder dangerously close to bursting. With a smooth motion he removes his helmet back to front, setting it down on the metal counter where parts for guns lay strewn. He takes a breath, wedging himself onto the edge of that table and dropping his chin into the chest of his armour. _

"_Skipper…" He breathes "You do realise that if I had not asked them to hold take off you would have been incinerated inside that vent shaft?" His chest is heaving as he pants, catching his breath "I realised you were missing just in time… what were you doing down there?"_

"_I…" I make to tell him, but he's alive and here in front of me so suddenly the truth seems very silly out in the light. "I was hiding." I admit, my stomach flip flopping as the ship touched into the planet's atmosphere._

"_Hiding from what?" He asks me, undoing the clips and straps that hold his body armour to him._

"_Whoever was attacking the ship." I say, mildly defensive._

_He chuckles, removing the armour and setting it aside as he rolls his great shoulders, testing the flex in his arms. "No one was attacking the ship." He says calmly "The sensors picked up an attack – but these old sensors can't tell if it's an attack or a bird landing and pecking the hull; turns out it was monkeys."_

"_Monkeys?" I ask, disbelieving._

"_Monkeys." Spooner nodded, they had been tampering with some parts of the hull where the structure was weakened, and the sensors pinged it as an attack."_

_I don't know what to say to that so I simply nod slowly, the adrenaline still coursing through me despite knowing I am safe. I look to him and he is still watching me, dressed now in his white tank top, the claw of that wolf tattoo just visible as it grips the rise of his shoulder. He looks as though he wants to say more so I shake me head at him a little, as if to say 'what?' and he takes a deep breath._

"_You know… we can't have you running off like that every time you think the ship is under attack." He says gravely and I look to the floor ashamed. "When the shit hits the fan we need everyone on board to step up and fight." _

_I don't know what he wants me to say so I stay silent, looking at the floor sullenly and wishing I could sink through the grating back into the vents. Lifting his heavy armour he carries it to his locker, his brow furrowed in thought. I grasp at anything to say to him, mostly because I am terrified he is disappointed in me, that I have let him down somehow._

"_I know." I say, following him, wishing I had the guts to reach out and grab him like they do in those old movies – but hands stay by my sides pumping in and out of fists as I watch his back "I just… I get scared." I blurt angrily "I've never had to fight before… I'm just a girl – the most I ever did was slap a boy for getting fresh."_

"_I figured." Spooner chuckles "You shoot for shit." He gives me a wide grin, and despite the anger I felt a moment ago I smile back, Spooner has that effect on me. "That is something we will have to remedy though." He says seriously "Especially if you plan on enlisting when you turn eighteen."_

_I look at him carefully "You would teach me?" I ask him, my heart leaping to my throat at the though of us getting close and sweaty as we train._

"_Well." He gives me that lopsided smile, the one that makes my heart feel like it's teetering on failure "Somebody has to."_

Her cabin seemed incredibly dull and lifeless compared to the vibrancy of Kaidan's apartment this morning; the Citadel took great pains to mimic day and night in the Stanford Torus presidium design. How Kaidan managed to upkeep such a place she could only guess. She knew his parents were military, but something told her he had held back exactly where they were positioned before they had retired – certainly they obviously didn't lack credits.

Raking her hair back she let the shower wash off the events of last night, finding she had to scrub extra hard to get the face of that Batarian from her mind. She hated herself a little for those events; for losing it – after so long bringing herself to terms with Mindoir she let it overwhelm her again. She blamed that box and those damned belongings, and that damned Spooner – his memory bringing back fresh pain as she turned the taps off and stood dripping in her shower staring at the tiles.

All this time she had thought he had simply forgotten about her; all this time she had assumed free of the nuisance of her immediate presence he had busied himself with work and decided to simply put her behind him. She didn't know what to think now.

Towelling herself briskly she slipped into her 'downs' consisting of a heavy pair of navy jogging bottoms and a white racer-back top over which she adorned a thick cable-knit cream cardigan that dropped almost to her knees. One of the few things she had kept from previous men in her life – this particular item from a man she had dated called Hobbs.

Twisting her hair she held it in place with a spider-clip, dumping her wet towels and dirty clothes in the laundry chute just inside the bathroom door. In a smooth motion she collected the box of belongings from her desk and hopped onto her bed, tucking her feet under her knees as she emptied it out in front of her – the papers and books slipping and sliding this way and that as she rummaged through the stuff.

It was all junk really, mission briefs, things that had been dug out of his locker obviously. A spare Lieutenant patch that he had never got round to sewing on his shirt, a few rounds for an old gun, bits of paper with little notes jotted on them. She picked up his journal, the book almost falling to bits in her hands if not for the elastic band holding it securely.

Unsnapping the band she cracked the front page open, glancing over the numbers within – addresses and names of people she didn't know. The rest of the pages were full of battle tactics, ideas for modding weapons and armour, a few general notes here and there – a shopping list. On one page was a list of Christmas gifts he had planned to buy for her, the address of the Blue Horizon Facility underlined beside it.

She fanned the empty pages, an OSD slipping from inside to spiral to the duvet silently. She lifted the little disk, her brow furrowing as she turned it in her fingers. Leaning to the side she pulled her player to her, inserting the OSD and pushing the button as Spooner's image flicked on the tiny screen. He looked just as she remembered him; that shock of white-blonde hair, his vibrant green eyes full of warmth and kindness

"Hey Skipper!" He grinned at the screen, the familiarity of the moment hitting her like a hammer to her gut "I know you're probably still angry at me for dropping you off with the Alliance, but I like to think you are at least starting to come around…"

She had seen this – this was the message he had sent to her a week after she had arrived at the facility. Skipping to the next she could see it was the second and final message she had received from him, but there was one more stored on the OSD. Carefully she pressed the button to skip to that last message.

"Hey Skipper!" He smiled, but it was weaker somehow; less bright "So, four weeks and still no reply from you. I'm guessing that means you are pretty damn angry still." He turned looking off to the distance somewhere, but she felt like she was right there with him, when his adams apple bounced she felt she could hear him swallow. He looked back to the screen, raking a hand through his blonde hair.

"The Admiral gave me admission papers today." He said thickly "Signing over my guardianship of you to the Alliance." He cleared his throat stickily "I… I think I'm gonna wait signing them, I want to come and see you – after this mission, I'm coming straight to the facility to talk about it with you; see if there is some way we can sort something out." He sighed, pressing his chin onto his closed fists as he looked to the floor briefly – back to the screen "I miss you Skipper."

Just as he spoke the words she could see the alarm go off in the background, the red light superseding that piercing wail as he frowned, glancing over his shoulder. He turned back to the screen, reaching above the camera he pulled back his helmet.

"I'll be back shortly." He said, and then the screen went blank. Shepard held the little console as though it were a connection to the afterlife, staring at the blank screen willing him to reappear. She had been so young and stupid, she had never realised the true gift of what Spooner represented.

With a heavy sigh she flopped onto the bed, curling around the console as she fought back tears. She wished she had replied, even once, to tell him how much she loved him. How much she had needed him by her side – but after the incident she had been too ashamed and angry to even muster a reply to his mails. She had been too bitter and resentful about the whole thing.

Beside her bed the intercom crackled quietly.

"Commander, all crew is now aboard we are preparing for mission briefing." Joker's voice said and she closed her eyes, how she was going to look any of them in the eye this morning was anyone's guess; especially Kaidan.

"I'm on my way up." She said quietly, pushing herself to sit. It was time to face the music.

Halfway to Virmire and he still hadn't laid eyes on her – not that he was in any rush, she was obviously avoiding him and that was cool; he could imagine she was a little embarrassed about getting drunk last night. It still didn't help the fact that he felt like he was simply sitting waiting to be in her presence though.

Lovesick his mother had called it and he thought how appropriate that phrase was as he tinkered with the settings at the engineering console. So in love it actually makes you feel sick; like some kind of plant, starved of light and water when out with her presence only to blossom and flourish and _ache_ when she came into the room.

Sighing he rubbed the back of his neck, blowing a breath through his teeth as he thought about last night; about how close she had been, the tender breath of her lips on his before Joker had made himself known. Bloody Joker, every single time.

"Kaidan." Her husky voice sounded and he immediately stopped what he was doing, turning to sharply his knee caught the edge of the console unit and he grit his teeth, internalising that stab of pain with a smile and forcing his hands to stay where they were instead of rushing to rub at his aches.

"Commander." He said lightly, giving her a small smile, but she either didn't notice or didn't want to return it, because she looked at him stonily, her blue eyes cold and hard as she moved in close to his side. Almost too close to be considered professional, but her demeanour was anything but.

"I need to talk to you." She said quietly and he swallowed, her nearness making heat spark underneath his clothing, his skin rash into gooseflesh, the hairs on the back of his neck stand up and hum.

"Alright." He said, turning back to the console idly "Do you mean about the mission or…?"

He was teasing her and they both knew it; he knew too well she wanted to talk about last night, but he wanted her to say it to him. He wanted to draw that woman out from under the Commander; see her come to life before he opened himself up.

"Actually about these." She said dismissively, producing a fistful of OSD's from her pocket "I… I was given these from an old friend. Most say they are damaged but I was hoping that with your expertise…"  
"I could get the information from them for you?" He asked, surprised by the topic but nevertheless flattered she had obviously come to him first.

"Well." She swallowed, her pride furrowing her brow as she shook her head "If you don't want to, or… you know… I can look for someone on the Citadel."

"No." He said calmly, ignoring the flare of anger in her "I'll take a look at them Shepard. It's no problem."

She made a noise through her nose, setting the OSD's in his hands and watching as he pushed them into the pockets of his combats. She hovered, as if wanting to say more and he busied himself, trying to ease the ache of anticipation that burned brightly in his chest.

"Thanks." She ground out at last, and the reluctance in her voice made him smile. She made to go and he caught her elbow as she turned, met once again with that hard, cold look in her eyes as he removed his fingers from her softly.

"Can we talk about last night?" He asked gently, glancing around to make sure they were alone.

"What about last night?" She asked hotly, almost daring him to question her. He licked his lips, leaning his head to the side as he considered his next move in this silent game.

"Well…" He moved his shoulders "I just wanted to talk Shepard, about our kiss."

She shrank back from him, pulling out of that intimate zone as she cleared her throat loudly "Yeah." She coughed, fidgeting nervously as she came around the console unit, facing him on the other side "I don't think we should talk about it." She said with finality "It was a silly mistake Kaidan, one that neither of us should be dwelling on." She smiled "I mean you don't want to get involved with your Commanding Officer do you? There are regulations in the Alliance, you want to flout them?" She asked him, her voice rising in accusation.

"No ma'am." He said defeated, his heart lumbering in his chest as it struggled with the sudden lance of pain he felt. "You're right." He added, as if to solidify his innocence, but the very words killed him

"It was nothing."


	7. Chapter 7

Title: Virmire Part Seven  
Author: DinkyMew  
Game: Mass Effect (one)  
Disclaimer: Bioware owns all content and characters related to the Mass Effect Franchise. Abigail Shepard is my own creation inspired by the character of Jane Shepard created by Bioware. All original characters contained herein are my own creation and are not necessarily affiliated with Bioware. The story may deviate from the original game and for this I ask your forgiveness, any anomalies are in the pursuit of entertainment purposes and not to offend. **You may not copy, distribute, rewrite or edit any part of this fan-fiction as it stands without my expressed permission**  
Characters Featured: Abigail Shepard (F); Ashley Williams (F); Stewart 'Spooner' Cooper (M);

Two hours from Virmire and the ache in her shoulder was getting no better; nor was the one in her chest.

Safe in the merciful darkness of the shuttle bay Abigail Shepard worked at the utility bench with her pistol as though her life depended on it. The configuration was an old one Spooner had taught her, brought to mind by recent events, and more importantly it was a lengthy job – one that should preoccupy her thoughts right up until they land in Virmire. Lord knows she needed a break from the incessant and spiteful whispering of her inner self.

She was so intent on her work she didn't even see Ashley until she was standing right next to her, her butt wedged on the end of the table, her fingers curled around its edge. She was watching with a bemused smile on her face when Shepard finally realised she was sitting there. Inwardly she flinched, but worked hard to keep her face blank as she cleared her throat.

"Ashley." She said firmly "Something up?"

The gunnery chief leaned her head to the side, a sly grin splitting her lips as she shook her head "This is me Shep." She chuckled "That hard-head shit doesn't wash here."

Abigail paused, the trigger mechanism of her pistol still in her hand as she turned blue eyes to brown sceptically "If you're here for a pep-talk then I think you've come at a bad time."

"I'm here because Joker told me something real interesting about last night." Ashley said, turning so she could pick through the nuts and bolts strewn on the table "Something I wanted to talk to you about.

Shepard felt herself curl inward as she took a breath "We're two hours from Virmire, Ash, I don't know if now is a good time for us to get into a fight. Especially a fight of this nature. Whatever happened was a stupid mistake, and we've let it go. Nothing is going on. I wouldn't do that to you." She stopped what she was doing, turning to put some distance between them she moved to her locker instead, punching in the combination before yanking the door open.

"That's just it!" Ashley cried, pursuing her, leaning against the wall of lockers as Shepard rummaged amongst her armour. "Do what to me? You know when Joker told me I had thought I would be mad… but I wasn't. Thinking back now I can see how you mooned over the Lieutenant, long before I did. I wish I could have been half the friend you were and realised it soon enough to step out of the way. You've always liked him… haven't you?"

Abigail paused, thinking about it – thinking about the first time she knew there was something not quite right about the way she felt about Alenko. It had been back on Eden Prime, back when they had lost Jenkins – she had looked to him in that moment reeling from the first fatality under her command and he had chased that fear away with a single glance. The trust she felt emanating from him had grounded her immediately, his voice – deep and gravelly and soft – had spoken to secret places within her, feeding her with strength and warmth.

She was undeniably in love with him from that moment.

Despite their initial spat when they met, having Kaidan around was like a comforter she had come to rely on – but being reliant on something made you dependent. And being dependent on anything made you vulnerable. She had to work hard to correct that miss-step she somehow let herself take.

Shepard sighed, pulling her chest piece free as she got slowly to her feet "He's… not my usual type." She said with difficulty "I think… I just feel strange when I'm around him Ash, that's all. But it's a stupid fantasy – he's a subordinate!"

"And?" Ashley scoffed wildly, pushing from the lockers as she threw her hands up, at the edge of her black tank top Shepard could see the curve of her Alliance tattoo as it moved with her "You think you would be the only Commander dipping her finger in the company honey? There are plenty of examples of couples within the Alliance, so long as it is declared to the authorities there isn't an issue."

"No, Ashley." Abigail said firmly "It's not as simple as that. I'm not as simple as that."

"Shep, you're like a sister to me. I just want to see you happy!" Ashley moaned, something in Shepard's face though must have signalled she would get nowhere because her shoulders dropped defeated and she sighed heavily "Alright. But promise me once we are through with this mission you will at least think about it?"

Abigail sighed, moving her shoulders and wincing at the pain in her joint "I'll think about it. After the mission." She relented at last.

Virmire was hailed as a tropical paradise despite its nearness to the Terminus Systems. Petty gangs and crime-lords squabbled over territory and rights, but the truth was none of them had the supplies or the credits to turn a virgin planet into a colonised world. The Citadel Council had long wasted breath trying to broker treaties that would allow a homestead to be created on Virmire, but the ever present threat of raids and attacks from slaver groups prevented events moving forward. It had long ago been written off as a possibility for habitation until the political shit-storm settled.

The noise in the background though, failed to detract from the beauty of the place. Ashley smiled as she watched the expanse of blue water move beneath the Normandy as they gained proximity to the planet. If she could choose a holiday destination anywhere, it would be here, despite the slavers and the gangs – hell she would just pack for a good fight.

"Commander I'm reading a signal." Beside her in the cockpit Joker shifted in his seat "Must be our Salarian infiltration team." He glanced back at her as they both waited for Shepard's response over the comm. She had avoided them all morning it seemed, even after Ashley had extended a talk with her she had been reluctant and closed off and so they had all decided to let her come around on her own. Whatever she was dealing with it must be huge, and they all knew the Commander enough now to know she liked to deal with stuff on her own.

In the co-pilot seat Kaidan cleared his throat, his fingers splayed against the side of his head as he leaned on the arm of his chair "Commander?" He prodded, his finger tapping at his temple.

"I heard." Came Shepard's response, terse and biting "I'm on my way up."

With that the cockpit fell into silence, each of them weighing the expectation of the Commander's arrival. For her Ashley was unconcerned, she had always regarded herself as quite close to the Commander, and they seemed to have a natural affinity together; Shepard intensely lacked Faith in her life and Ashley tried to bring it to her. She could tell Joker was worried; worried about running his mouth off about last night – worried about what it would mean in the long run when Shepard eventually got around to kicking his ass for it and just looking at Kaidan made her feel ill. He was a new shade of pale, a sickly yellow blossoming at his cheeks as he swallowed and shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

"She's on her way." Joker said, quietly, as though to himself – a mantra for preparation.

When she did enter Ashley thought it was the most anticlimactic moment in her life. Standing clad in her red armour, her helmet caught loosely in one hand Shepard took one look out the portside window and sighed. Her hair was damp, coiled around into a twist and held in place with what looked like a small wooden chopstick; when she glanced at Ashley she thought she could see the traces of tears still at the edges of her eyes but she could have been imagining it.

"Nice place." She said, standing behind Joker "Never was a big fan of sand though. Gets into all the wrong places and it's irritating as hell. Like some people." She added pointedly, and in front of her Joker shrank in his chair "Still," She said with a sharp breath "A beach wouldn't be the same without it, would it?"

Ashley smiled, catching the look that passed Shepard's eyes; one of genuine affection for the pilot – the likes she had seen herself go through with her sisters back home.

"Check out those defence towers though." Kaidan added, his attention riveted on the mission and Shepard moved to his side, following his gaze to see what he saw.

She wouldn't have noticed it before, but now as she watched she could see the Lieutenant tense as the Commander drew near, saw his hands curl to fists as he struggled to keep his breathing under control, could see the effort in his eyes as he fought to keep steady and not turn to face her – how had she missed that? It seemed so obvious now she saw them both dancing in tandem – each skirting around their feelings, so careful to not let the other see, so careful to keep themselves safe. It was possibly the most insane and incredibly stupid thing she had ever seen in her life. And she had seen a lot of stupid.

Shepard made a clicking noise with her tongue on the roof of her mouth and Kaidan did look at her then, had she not been watching she would have missed it. The light in his dark eyes as he turned to face her, the love that shone there was overwhelming and in that moment it took all her strength not to shake the living daylights out of them both. Now was not the time for that, the mission, as always, came first.

"Alright." Shepard said, stepping back "Get to the shuttle bay both of you – I want you suited and booted. Get a hold of Garrus too, I want him scouting ahead – and Tali, we might need her technical abilities."

Kaidan, mildly offended, shot a breath out his nose as he made to object but he was halted before the words even formed in his throat by Shepard raising a hand "I need you in the field." She said firmly "You can't be split between two jobs, I want you with us in case we get injured." She didn't look at him directly as she said it, pivoting on her ankle as she swept back toward the cockpit entrance "Move now. Joker drop the Mako, we'll go in hot and take those towers out."

"I'll get you in under their radar Commander." He called after them as they filed out behind the Commander, Kaidan paused in the doorway, letting Ashley go first and she smiled – the man's politeness would be his downfall.

The ship was a hive of activity as they swept down the gangway together, striding purposefully they entered the shuttle bay together, the cooler air immediately making her arms break out in gooseflesh. She spotted Wrex by the Mako, he seemed pensive, uptight, pacing – obviously unhappy that he was being left with the ship for this mission, but Ashley understood the call. This required deft infiltration to avoid a bloodbath – a Krogan charging in guns blazing would draw too much attention. He gave her a deadly glare and she raised her chin, ready for anything he might throw at her, she had never agreed with having aliens on the ship – but the Commander was in charge here, not her.

Shepard pushed on ahead, moving to the main battery where she would no doubt be speaking with Tali and Garrus, leaving Kaidan and herself to get into their armour. She turned to the Lieutenant as they reached their lockers, punching in the combinations and opening them almost simultaneously.

"You nervous LT?" She asked, removing her armour pieces carefully.

"I feel good." He said absently, and she could see his attention was on the door to the main battery. She shook her head weakly.

"Why didn't you tell me you liked the Commander?" She asked quietly "I thought we were friends?"

He looked to her guiltily, strapping his leg armour down as he cleared his throat "I just didn't think it was relevant." He said in a whisper "Besides, we have bigger things to worry about Chief."

"Well yeah." Ashley smiled "But we also need you focused." She reasoned.

Kaidan raised an eyebrow at her, a grin stealing at his lips "I'm fine Chief." He patted down his armour, checking he had all he needed as she wriggled into her own.

Shepard emerged with Tali and Garrus in tow.

The Quarian looked supremely beautiful in her enviro-suit Ashley thought, a touch of jealousy gripping her chest. It seemed to cling in the right places, and Quarians were naturally lithe in figure, with lovely swelling hips and bosom – she doubted there was a man on board the Normandy who didn't throw appreciative glances her way. Except the Lieutenant of course whose eyes were locked on the Commander once more, like some kind of fool.

Garrus looked ready for a fight, his sniper rifle slung over one shoulder casually as he approached and gave them both a curt nod. She didn't trust the ex-c-sec officer; not only was he a Turian but he was a turncoat, abandoning C-sec because they 'didn't get things done fast enough', that kind of loyalty was fleeting and she wondered how long it would be before he was bored of the Normandy.

And he was a Turian.

Working with him was like spitting in her grandfather's face.

But she buried that deep down as she plastered a smile on her face and greeted him with a nod in response, turning to Shepard as she cracked her knuckles, her expression hidden behind the visor of her helmet.

"Let's get in the Mako." Shepard said "Dibs on the driver seat." She added, her tone playful.

"Really?" Kaidan blurted, then as though he had just realised what he had said he cleared his throat "I was just thinking it might be better if I drive."

"You got a problem with my driving Alenko?" Shepard asked sharply, turning to face the fumbling Lieutenant. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously and shook his head.

"No ma'am." He said keeping his face carefully deadpan "But I've just eaten."

There was a tense moment, where the comment could go either way, but then Shepard reached forward and slapped the side of his helmet playfully, her soft laugh curling at Ashley's ears through the speaker in her helmet. She joined them, chuckling softly as they all filed into the Mako.

The drop was the worst part Shepard thought.

Like a stone the Mako plummeted to the shallow shores of Virmire, the sudden jarring of impact causing her to almost jack-knife in her seat if not for the straps holding her at bay. Her shoulder ached mournfully and itched like crazy.

Taking a moment to glance to each of the passengers strapped in she unhooked her belts, moving to stand behind Kaidan in the driving seat, peering at the console in front of him which showed no hostile life-forms nearby.

"We've got a clean drop Commander." Joker's voice sounded in her ear and she smiled; he was a damn good pilot.

"Stay out of range and continue evasive manoeuvres until we bring those AA towers down." She ordered, tapping Kaidan's shoulder firmly to signal the go ahead. The lieutenant shifted the levers, bringing the Mako to life with a growl from the engine as, with a sudden jolt that caused her to grip the passenger head-rest, the Mako began to move.

"I know the drill." Joker drawled "Meet you at the camp once those towers are offline. Joker out."

"Alright Alenko." She said "Pull up here and we'll let Garrus out. I want you to scout ahead – take out what you can, but I want you to be our eyes. Tell us what we're looking at up ahead, don't get yourself into trouble though Garrus."

The Turian lumbered to his feet, having to stoop and crane his neck against the roof of the Mako as he snapped a cartridge into his rifle.

"You got it Commander." He gave her a stiff nod as the Mako jittered to an unsteady halt, sliding on the sand and water underneath. Uneasy Shepard opened the hatch, letting the Turian stepping out, already second-guessing the decision as she looked back at her steadily.

"Keep us up to date." She nodded and Garrus gave her a curt nod, something she figured was as good as a salute before turning and striding from the Mako; his long legs kicking up water as he moved.

"Will he be alright?" Tali asked where she sat still strapped in next to Ashley, Shepard glanced to the Quarian unwilling to give her that promise; they still had no idea what they were getting in to.

The only information she had been given was that a Salarian infiltration team was here gathering data on Saren when communications went silent. A message was transmitted on a channel secured for important message relays, but the message was clean – only static. The council seemed convinced that whatever the team were trying to get back to them was important, important enough to bring it Shepard's attention anyway; and if they had information on Saren it might be enough to prompt the Council to act at last.

"He'll be fine." Ashley said beside her, taking the hit for her and Shepard gave her a hard look. She knew it was useless anyway; Ashley simply lifted her chin as if to challenge her to say something different. Her and her damned Faith.

"Let's get moving." Shepard said, moving back to stand behind the Lieutenant. "Move out Alenko, nice and easy."

_Lunchtime is by far the best time of the day. Normally I sit in the mess surrounded by marines and laugh at the fart jokes, the burps and the jibes and marvel at the tales of heroism passed around like golden rain. I'll sit beside Spooner, pride swelling within me as he tells them all about how fast a learner I am, how I could outmatch most of them already and I'm only a girl. _

_But not today._

_Today the mess is relatively empty. Being docked at the Citadel always causes an emptiness to the Humbee, everyone so eager to go and explore the delights of the alien world – and that includes the food. My tastes are far more fussy though, I would much rather eat in the mess, but with so few to cook for the chef normally takes the time off too and those on board are left to fend for themselves._

_It reminds me of my home on Mindoir; raiding the cupboards at night while mom snoozed on the sofa waiting for dad to come home, her pregnant belly hiding her face from view. I can barely remember what she looked like now; just a shock of dark hair and wild, ice blue eyes. Funny how time can be a healer – but it can also be mercilessly cruel in erasing your most precious memories. Like stones in the ocean they get worn over time, the details becoming greyer, the lines and edges a bit smudgy – until finally all you can really remember clearly are insignificant details that don't actually make a whole person._

_I stuff a cake bar into my mouth, quickly in case someone comes in and catches me. An old habit maybe as I am encouraged to eat now, told to keep my strength up, but back on Mindoir I was constantly getting my knuckles rapped for pinching food._

_Wiping my mouth I take a high grade energy drink and shake it up – the thick liquid slugging inside the glass bottle as I unscrew the cap. _

_I know where Spooner is. The only place he would ever be on the Humbee, the shuttle bay modding his precious weapons. _

_Spooner moons over weapons the way some men moon over flight cars, he's forever polishing them, sharpening his combat knives, modding his guns. He's taught me a lot too in that respect, a marine is only as good as his weapon he would say, all attempts at seriousness._

_I pause outside the shuttle bay doors, curious that they are locked, that is an unusual occurrence – but not a problem with my hacking abilities which are also slowly improving. I was given my own omni-tool from the Admiral, something that I will covet till the end of days._

_I punch in the override codes, bringing the bottle to my lips as the doors slide open. _

_The room is dark, which is normal, but the light is especially muted today; only a single glare of lamp light shining at the utility table off in the distance, and some jerking movement against the black. I pause, narrowing my eyes as I realise it's two people; entangled in a passionate clinch._

_Feeling my neck flare suddenly with heat I make to move away when I recognise Spooner – the sight of him knocking the breath from me as I stare in horror. He's seen me, moving toward me, lumbering and awkward in his height and his mouth is moving, but I hear nothing. Behind him Engineer Smith pulls his shirt closed once more. _

"_Skipper!" He cries and this does somehow get through, I do hear it, and I look at him – the bottle slipping from my frozen grip to smash on the grating at my feet. "It's alright, I can explain!" He adds hurriedly, pulling his own shirt together and fumbling with the buttons. _

_I can't breathe; my lungs are like ice as I stare beyond him, back to where Engineer Smith is fixing his hair, pulling and straightening his clothes while trying to keep his eyes on the floor. He's gay. How could I have missed that? How…?_

_I look to him and he is still talking, the noise like a war in my head and I suddenly realise that I can't think straight with all that noise. I can't even breathe. Pushing away from him I feel my feet turning to run, but he grabs my arm, his words spilling out of him so fast and furious I have no hope of keeping up with them. _

"_Let me go!" I scream at him, and without intent my scream suddenly becomes something, a bolt of blue energy that hits him square in the chest and sends him flying. _

_I pause, my heart thundering ahead of me as I reel over what has happened. Turning I run; blindly. Heading anywhere as long as it is a million miles from here._

"No pressure Tali, but today would be great!" Shepard called, ducking as a bullet whizzed past her head, grazing her cheekbone and drawing a thin line of blood.

Ashley felt it, glancing back to the Quarian who was huddled over a console, her fingers moving so furiously they were almost a blur. She glanced back up the corridor to where the Geth were waiting, their mechanical noises deafening as they echoed down the long stone corridor toward them.

They were trapped, the only saving grace that in order to get at them the Geth had to come down that corridor and once inside its narrow hallway they were completely exposed.

"I'm trying!" The Quarian shouted back, her voice strained through the speaker at the front of her enviro-suit; if they could sweat Ashley bet she would be sweating. At last she ducked away from the console, the flashing hum of the Geth generator shuddering to a standstill – the blue light fizzing out with a groan.

"It's down!" Tali shouted, taking cover behind Kaidan as the Geth pressed their assault, a hail of bullets raining into the room.

She glanced across to Shepard, her faced marred and dirty from fighting, strands of dark hair plastered to her forehead. Her helmet, long abandoned outside somewhere. She looked hard back at Ashley and she knew her plan without her having to even speak a word. She opened her mouth to protest, but it was too late, Shepard was already on her feet and in the corridor.

Ashley moved after her, more to try and stop her than anything else, but the Commander was already too many steps ahead of her. She moved like water, dodging shots that anyone else would have been caught by, taking a calculated run at the entrance as she skidded low to the ground, that faint blue glow suddenly humming to life around her as she crashed a fist into the floor sending the Geth surrounding her flying back, their circuits fried instantaneously by the blow-out.

Ashley felt her jaw drop as she watched, forever eclipsed by this biotic goddess it seemed. She was a truly remarkable thing to behold in action – if she hadn't believed that Elysium had been won by a single soldier, half an hour in the presence of the Commander and she would have sworn her life on it.

"I'm reading that the grid is out." Joker's voice sounded in their earpieces "On approach to the Salarian base now; great work."

Kaidan helped Tali to her feet and together the three of them approached Shepard as she got to her feet shakily, dusting off her armour as she glanced back at them. It was one of those moments, one of those freeze-frame shots – the Commander in her glory, standing in her red armour, a single line of blood on her cheek – the wind catching her hair and blowing it behind her as she laid her blue eyes on her team. In that moment Ashley understood why she liked her so much; she kicked ass with such flawless and effortless style.

"We should keep moving." Kaidan said, storing his pistol at his hip once more; he was obviously reeling from the moment too – but for a far different reason Ashley figured glancing the mottled redness of his cheeks and neck, and the way he kept his eyes carefully trained on the ground.

"You're right." Shepard conceded making to move. She paused, her hand fluttering out to press on the wall as the other went to her forehead steadying herself.

"Commander." Kaidan warned "You need an energy bar."

"I'm fine." She growled, shaking it off as she picked up her pace, heading back for the Mako.

Ashley caught his eyes and he looked at her seriously as if waiting for her to give it a go. With a sigh she gave him a nod and he handed her a bar from his pack silently. She pressed forward, breaking into s jog to catch up with the Commander as she worked the hatch of the Mako open.

"You should really eat Commander." Ashley said, offering the energy bar up. Shepard looked hard at her, her blue eyes like stone as her gaze ticked from the bar back to her. Silently she took the bar from Ashley's fingers begrudgingly, climbing inside the Mako and out of sight.

The Salarian base camp was relatively small considering the size of team that supposedly was here. It consisted of some makeshift buildings, propped against the growing wind and full of fast-talking, jerky Salarians that made his head spin. He hadn't spent much time in their company – on whole as a species – because they talked far too fast for him, usually addling him with migraines with one conversation.

They were, however, incredibly intelligent and short lived. Perhaps that was why they talked so fast, because comparatively Salarians only lived about 50 human years if they were lucky.

The Normandy was landed a bit back from the camp, the ramp down in the blue waters the crew were milling outside taking advantage of the sunshine. He doubted it was going to last – in the distance he could see the beginnings of storm clouds.

"Are you the one in charge here? What's the situation?" He heard Shepard's commanding voice and turned his attention back to the Salarian who stood in front of them. He was like every other Kaidan had ever met – resembling some kind of giant sand-Geko, definitely amphibian in origin, their large, placid eyes betraying the rush of thoughts that went on under the surface.

"I'm Captain Kirrahe." The Salarian said, his voice mildly lofty as he regarded Shepard cooly "Third Infiltration Regiment STG." The title was mightily impressive, but Shepard never flinched – maybe she didn't care he was STG. She was N7 Kaidan reasoned, which was the Alliance equivalent really, maybe she didn't feel as intimidated by it as he did. "You and your crew have just landed in the middle of a hot zone." The Captain said accusingly "Every AA gun within ten miles has been alerted to your presence."

Shepard sighed, irritated, flicking her hair over her shoulder "So what are we supposed to do in the meantime?" She asked hotly and the Captain met it with a cold stare.

"We stay put until the Council sends the reinforcements we requested."

Kaidan blinked, shaking his head at the Salarian "We _are_ the reinforcements." He blurted.

The Captain looked to him, back to the Commander obviously unimpressed "What?!" He squawked "You're all they sent? I told the Council to send a fleet!"

Shepard rubbed her forehead with her fingers "We couldn't understand your transmission, the Council sent me here to investigate."

"That is a repetition of our task." The Salarian Captain sighed tiredly "I've lost half my men investigating this place."

Sensing an opening Kaidan stepped up beside the Commander "So what have you found?" He asked.

The Captain looked at him, moving his shoulders in an almost defeated manner "This is Saren's base of operations. He's set up a research facility here but it's crawling with Geth and very well fortified."

"Is he here?" Shepard asked urgently "Have you seen him?"

The Captain inclined his head smoothly "No, but his Geth are everywhere and we've intercepted some comms referring to Saren. This is his facility – there's no doubt about that."

Shepard nodded, her brow furrowing as she chewed on her lip "What's he researching? Do we know?"

The Captain paused, as if trying to decide how much to tell them "He's using the facility to breed an army of Krogan."

Kaidan felt the blood rush from his face as he took that in, considered what it truly meant. The Krogan were a fearsome species, long hailed for their combat efficiency and deadly brutality. They had been used once, many years ago, by the Council to wipe out an encroaching invasion of insect-aliens called Rachni; but once the Krogan had served their purpose they were deemed a danger themselves and the Council worked with top Salarian scientists to devise a solution to the rapid Krogan reproduction rates. That solution came in the form of a sterility drug; known as the Genophage it stopped Krogan young surviving birth on such a scale that it crippled the Krogan people – only one in every thousand born would survive.

Kaidan had never agreed with the genophage, but then this had all happened before humans were even spacefaring, it was a different time back then – different variables, he had no right to stand now and say they were wrong or right to do it.

If Saren were to somehow breed himself an army of the killers he would be unstoppable.

"How is that even possible?" A gruff voice asked and Kaidan turned to see Wrex approach. He had been standing by listening, as a Krogan himself it would be no wonder Wrex would be curious about someone breeding an army.

The Captain gave him a wary look "Apparently Saren has discovered a cure for the Genophage." He said coldly. They all took a moment to absorb what that would mean.

Shepard was the first to break the silence, pinching her bottom lip between her forefinger and thumb as she frowned "The Geth are bad enough," She said quietly "but a Krogan army? He'd be almost unstoppable."  
Captain Kirrahe nodded vehemently "Exactly my thought. We must ensure this facility and it's secrets are destroyed." He added, careful to avoid the angry glare of the Krogan beside Shepard.

"Destroyed?" Wrex growled, balking at the Salarian as he threw his hands out "I don't think so. Our people are dying. This cure can save them."

The Captain shook his head "If that cure leaves this planet the Krogan will become unstoppable. We can't make the same mistake again."

Wrex took a sharp step toward the Salarian, enough that the Captain made to move back and Shepard gripped the Krogan's shoulder. They had all seen how unpredictable he could be.

"We are not a mistake!" He glared, jabbing a finger into the Salarians chest angrily. With that he stormed away, leaving them all breathing a sigh of relief.

"Is he going to be a problem?" Captain Kirrahe asked, eyeing the Commander sceptically "We already have enough angry Krogan to deal with."

Shepard took a breath "He'll be fine. I'll talk to him."

The Captain seemed relieved at that, giving her a firm nod "I would appreciate that Commander." He almost smiled "My men and I need to rethink our plan of attack. Can you give us some time?"

Shepard gave him a nod, turning to look at Kaidan warily, then to Ashley who had been standing silently by his side the whole time. The sound of a gunshot echoed through the camp and all three flinched simultaneously, glancing back to see Wrex shooting his shotgun at the fish in the shallows. Kaidan grimaced, turning back to Shepard he sighed.

"Looks like things are a bit of a mess." He said quietly and Shepard met his look, her blue eyes faraway and troubled as she raked a hand through her hair.

"Yeah, no shit." She laughed, looking off to the distance.

"I wouldn't be so worried if it wasn't for Wrex." Ashley added, her eyes fixed over Kaidan's shoulder to where Wrex stood cursing and swearing and shooting. "He looks like he's going to blow a gasket."

Kaidan paused frowning at the idiom as he considered it carefully – such an odd expression for someone so young to use.

"You think I should talk to him?" Shepard asked them both and he shook the thought aside, looking seriously to her.

"It couldn't hurt." He said gently.

"Well it might." Ashley added with a worried frown "Just do it carefully."

Shepard gave her a small smile "I'll be careful, but be ready; both of you. Just in case."

Ashley gave her a wry smile, waving her off "I'm always ready Shep."

Ashley was right, Wrex was really on the edge of his temper. The Krogan was pacing, leaving great trails in the wet sand as he marched back and forth, throwing his arms around, shooting his shotgun erratically as he raved and roared to himself, most she couldn't comprehend as she approached him carefully.

He spotted her coming, pausing in his pacing as he snorted angrily at her, his red eyes looking her over from toe to head as he rose to his full height – towering over her by at least two feet.

"This isn't right Shepard." He barked, his demeanour menacing enough that she put her hand to her pistol just to reassure herself it was there. "If there's a cure for the Genophage then we can't just destroy it."

She sighed, the argument pulling at her conscience as she watched the old Krogan. She felt for his people; all but sterilized for the help they gave to the galaxy – the whole galaxy. None of them would be here if it wasn't for the Krogan blood that stained the battlefields against the Rachni. She took a steadying breath – she had to keep this in focus.

"I understand you're upset." She began, splaying her hands to try and fend off his aggressive stance "But we both know Saren is the enemy here. He's the one you should be angry with."

Wrex paused, looking at her incredulously as he shook his large head "Really?" He asked, taking a menacing step toward her, out of the corner of her eye she glanced Kaidan and Ashley readying weapons and she waved a hand at them, hoping they took it as a signal to back down. The Krogan rumbled on "Saren created a cure for my people. You want to destroy it. Help me out here Shepard, the lines between friend and foe are getting a little blurry from where I stand."

She caught her breath, taking a chance and stepping toward him as she rebuked his words "This isn't a cure!" She insisted heatedly "It's a weapon. And if Saren is allowed to use it you won't be around to reap the benefits." She swallowed "None of us will."

Wrex rallied on her, pulling his shotgun round he aimed it at her chest prompting Shepard to react she whipped her pistol out, aiming it for his head. She could sense Kaidan and Ashley at the ready, waiting for her word, but dammit she couldn't just lose one of her crew like this!

"That is a chance we should be willing to take!" Wrex thundered, shaking with rage as the barrel of his gun quivered in her vision "This is the fate of my entire people we're talking about. I've been loyal to you so far," He added, his voice deadly cold "hell you did more for me than my own family ever did. But if I am going to keep following you I need to know we're doing this for the right reasons."

Shepard blinked, lowering her pistol slowly as she shook her head sadly "Wrex, these Krogan are not your people." She said quietly "They're slaves of Saren. Tools." She swallowed "Is that what you want for them?"

For a fearful moment she thought she had lost him and he was going to pull the trigger, but instead he gave out a groan, lowering his shotgun at last as he muttered "No. We were tools for the council once. To thank us for wiping out the Rachni they neutered us all." He sighed "I doubt Saren will be as generous." He dropped his stance, looking off to the distance where storm clouds were rapidly gathering "Alright." He said thickly "You've made your point. But when we find Saren, I want his head."

Shepard placed a tentative hand on his large shoulder "You'll have to get in line." She smiled.


	8. Chapter 8

Title: Virmire Part Eight  
Author: DinkyMew  
Game: Mass Effect (One)  
Disclaimer: Bioware own all characters and content related to the Mass Effect Franchise. Abigail Shepard is my own creation inspired by the character of Jane Shepard created by Bioware. Any original characters contained herein are my own creations and are not necessarily affiliated with Bioware. The story may deviate from the original game and for that I ask your forgiveness, any anomalies are in the pursuit of entertainment and not to offend. **You may not copy, distribute or edit this fan fiction as it stands without my expressed permission**  
Characters Featured: Stewart 'Spooner' Cooper; Ashley Williams; Captain Kirrahe; Abigail Shepard; Kaidan Alenko;

"_I'm sorry Skipper. I should have told you about me and Mark."_

_I keep my eyes locked on the window, watching the FTL stream wisp by the glass. I press my back further against the wall, draw my knees to my chest as it aches mournfully. _

"_I can understand that it was a bit of a shock." Spooner continues, his voice soft and deep in the dim light of my room, my head pulses angrily with each word "I was going to tell you – I just needed time to get Mark used to the idea…"_

_I turn my eyes to him then and his mouth clicks closed. Something in my look must convey how angry I am because he looks away, to the doorway, perhaps considering retreat? But Spooner is as stubborn as me, turning back he clears his throat._

"_I know we were talking about you enlisting." He said carefully, the change of subject clumsy and I scoff – blowing hot air from my nose like an enraged bull as I turn back to the window. "But after… well… the Admiral has decided to inform the Alliance of your biotic ability."_

_I grind my teeth, my heart sluggishly pumping in my chest._

"_He's decided that you are too unpredictable and you don't have enough control over your abilities." He says it softly, but the words are incredibly loud in my head. I don't care. I didn't ask for these stupid powers and I don't want them either – if the Alliance can cure me they would be doing me a huge favour._

"_We're looking into a clinic." Spooner adds carefully "A facility called Blue Horizon?" He asks as though I would have heard of it. I decide not to answer him, leaning my forehead against the cold glass. "Well, the Alliance are funding it for biotic training pre-admission to the army." He sighed "I think it would be the best thing for you Skipper… but I can see you don't want to talk to me right now. I'll leave that with you, and when you're ready to talk about it you can come and find me."_

_I scoff again, because 'finding' him went so well last time didn't it. I throw a glare his way and he pauses, still sat on the edge of my bed, but I can see his own frustration ticking under the surface._

"_I don't understand what you want me to say." Spooner says quietly "I should have told you about Mark; I'm sorry. What more can I say?" I stare at him, my face serene and calm but inside I can feel the heat of war raging in my chest. I'm scared that if I open my mouth to speak I won't be able to stop._

"_I loved you." I choke out; my face blossoming with heat as the crux of the issue is brought screaming to the fore. I expect him to laugh, to look at me as though I am crazy, but instead he nods sadly._

"_I had a suspicion." He says gently "I'm sorry Skipper – I've never had kids I didn't know how to handle that properly. That's on me. But… I'm 26 years old." He smiled "You're 16… surely you could see nothing would have happened between us?"_

_I reel from him, the mention of age cutting deep as I turn back to the window. "Just get out." I mumble, somewhere I know I am being unreasonable – that he can no more choose his sexuality as I can my past – but I don't care. I just want him gone. _

"_Alright." He says softly "I'll come by later with something to eat." He adds getting stiffly to his feet "You know, just because I'm in love with someone else Skipper… doesn't mean I don't love you. It's just different – I hope you can see that one day."_

_I watch his back as he turns to leave, that wolf tattoo on his back grinning at me from the sleeve of his tank top. _

"Thank you for speaking with the Krogan." Captain Kirrahe said, picking through some contents strewn on a table in the far corner of what stood as his quarters. As she approached Shepard could see they were weapons, mostly pistols, all in some stage of modification. She recognised a few pieces, but most seemed Salarian by design. She glanced behind her to Ashley and Kaidan who stood uneasily at the entrance to the cab. "The assault on Saren's base will be difficult enough as it is." He added, giving her a small, tired smile.

It looked odd, she thought, to see a Salarian smile. She was reminded of that old Fable of the Princess and the Frog – but there was no way she would be testing that myth out any time soon.

"I assume you've managed to come up with a plan then?" She asked, and at the mention Ashley approached from behind, folding her arms under her breasts as she stared openly at the Salarian.

"Of sorts." Captain Kirrahe said carefully "We can convert our ship's drive system into a 20 Kiloton ordnance." He gave a quick nod "Crude but effective."

Ashley gave a soft chuckle of delight "Nice!" She remarked, nudging Shepard's elbow with her own "We can drop that nuke from orbit and Saren can kiss his Turian ass goodbye."

Abigail shot her a warning glance, gently reminding her to hold her opinions about races in check; it would be an easy mission right enough but she doubted the facility, if it was all the Salarian's described it to be, would be flattened by 20 Kilotons.

Captain Kirrahe shook his head "Unfortunately the facility is too well fortified for that. We'll need to place the bomb at a precise location."

Shepard watched the Salarian carefully, the true scale of the mission finally coming to light. Beside her Kaidan shifted uncomfortably and she glanced his way, just realising he was beside her too.

"Alright." She said firmly "Where do we take the nuke and how do we get there?"

Beside her Kaidan made a noise, a sharp intake of breath as if to say something but Captain Kirrahe beat him to it.

"The bomb must be taken to the far side of the facility." He said with difficulty, as though he knew the danger such a thing entailed "Your ship can drop it off but we'll need to infiltrate the base, disable the AA guns and pacify any ground forces first."

Shepard blinked, smiling humourlessly at the task the Salarian was suggesting.

"Are you suggesting we go in on foot?" Kaidan blurted heatedly beside her "We don't have enough men for that!"

Shepard raised a hand toward him, in an effort to calm him but he was right – it was far too dangerous if there were as many Geth as they claimed inside.

"It does sound a bit risky." She said carefully "Is there no other way?"

The Salarian Captain took a moment to breathe, and then gave a firm shake of his head "No. But I think we can work around your concerns." He added quickly "I'm going to divide my men into three teams and hit the front of the facility; while we have their attention you can sneak your shadow team in the back."

Shepard shook her head, her breath catching in her throat as she let the details of his plan sink in.

"That's a good idea," She said "But your people are going to get slaughtered."

The Commander gave her a sad smile, one that made panic rise in her chest. These men were preparing for a suicide mission and they expected her to sign up beside them. She steeled herself – Saren had to be stopped, if that meant laying her life on the line, then so be it.

"We're tougher than we look Commander." The Captain said hopefully "But it's true I don't expect many of us will make it out alive." He glanced away from her, back along the beach where his men stood solemnly "And that makes what I'm going to ask even more difficult, I need one of your men to accompany me. To help coordinate the teams."

Shepard almost balked, containing herself just enough to give a small nod, running through her team in her mind. She couldn't send an alien with them, it would have to be someone who knew Alliance code – it would have to be an Alliance marine.

"It will have to be someone who knows Alliance communication protocols." She said absently, glancing to the two marines at her side. Both Kaidan and Ashley watched her with a hard determination in their faces; it had to be one of them. But which? How could she send either to almost certain death?

"I volunteer Commander." Kaidan offered, and she swallowed, trying to catch up with her thoughts as she reeled from the expectation the Salarian's were asking of her. These were not just her soldiers – they were her friends. With a sudden, cold realisation she took a careful breath. Stopping Saren was the only thing that mattered here – they were all expendable in the wake of this mission.

"Just a sec LT!" Ashley cried, "You'll be needed to arm the nuke – I'll go with the Salarians."

"With all due respect Chief it's not your decision to make." Kaidan added under his breath.

"Look." Shepard cut in, turning to face them both "I'm not volunteering anyone for this lightly – you know that. But the Salarians are going to be under heavy fire; I think…" She swallowed as her chest tightened painfully "I think it would be best if Kaidan went with the Salarians, they might need some first aid and his barriers could come in useful in the thick of a fight."

Kaidan gave her a nod, his expression unreadable "Aye aye ma'am."

"Very well," Captain Kirrahe said behind her "I will have the ordnance loaded onto the Normandy and brief your gunnery Chief on its detonation sequencing."

Shepard nodded, all the while watching Kaidan as he turned his back on them, folding his arms. "I'm ready when you are Captain." She whispered.

"Excellent, well if you will excuse me I must prepare my men." He cleared his throat eagerly "I suggest you do the same."

Ashley smiled, giving a heavy sigh as the three of them came together "Well, this is it." She said shivering "Good luck in there LT."

Kaidan nodded silently, his eyes dark as he cleared his throat "We'll get it done." He said firmly.

"Just because we're not doing this side by side doesn't mean we're not a team." Shepard said, looking at them both carefully "Keep comms up and watch each other's backs – we'll get through this fine. You'll see." She willed confidence into her voice, but even it was quaking with doubt. The odds were stacked against them.

"Absolutely." Kaidan swallowed "I better go and get ready… have a look at the teams."

"Be careful LT." Ashley said briefly, avoiding both their eyes as she cleared her throat "I'm going to go and get the briefing about this nuke… I'll see you before we head out Commander."

Shepard watched her leave, she looked troubled, but then she supposed they all had that pensive look. Even her. This mission was not going to be an easy one.

She glanced to Kaidan, expecting him to be on the move but he wasn't, he was simply watching her, his expression unsure as he opened his mouth to speak, then closed it, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"Something to add Lieutenant?" She asked, raising her eyebrows at him quizzically.

He shifted, clearly he had something to say, and she held back a huff of annoyance; she had no time for this.

"Can I speak to you?" He asked, pinching his bottom lip between his forefinger and thumb.

She smiled playfully "We are talking."

He didn't seem to understand the tone of her voice, instead gesturing behind her to where the erected cabins sat idle "Could we talk in private?" He asked quietly. Shepard glanced to where he was pointing, grimacing inwardly. She didn't really want to talk to him. Being alone with Kaidan would bring on doubts about her decision and she needed to focus, she couldn't be worrying that this might be the last time…

She swallowed, closing the door on that thought as quickly as it came in, turning back to him and giving him a small nod. "If you feel it warrants it?" She asked, hoping he would simply forget about it but whatever had the lieutenant vexed was substantial enough that he moved past her, heading straight for one of the smaller cabins.

He reached the first one before her, opening the door and peering inside. Satisfied it was empty he stepped back waiting for her to enter first, raking a hand through his hair as she stepped up and into the small room. It was surprisingly bright inside, and obviously a room used for storage. Crates of rations and supplies were pushed to the far side, a few tarps were bundled in the corner but other than that there was a small clearing of floor and Shepard immediately began pacing it – feeling the tension hitch up a notch as she rolled her neck and shoulders.

"Alright." He said, closing the door "I don't disagree with your plan Shepard, I want to make that clear." He took a step into the room and she paused, squaring off against him as they met gazes and the heat in the room shot to boiling point "I didn't want to make public just how ridiculous this plan is. It's a goddamned suicide mission Commander!" He blurted heatedly throwing his arms up in exasperation "I have no qualms dying in the line of duty – but we're not even looking for alternatives here."

"you don't know that." She bit back "No one needs to die here Kaidan, you work with the Salarian teams, we plant that nuke and we all get out here alive." She ground out between her teeth – but it felt false even as she spoke the words.

"You believe that?" He asked, his tone daring, bordering on insubordination as he pressed closer to her "A 20 kiloton ordnance Shepard." He said flatly "That's 1.7 miles of blast radius to outrun with… very little time to do it in."

She snorted, turning from him as she threw her hands up, letting them slap to her side "I never took you for a coward Kaidan." She objected pointedly, turning to fix him with a steady, blazing glare "If you are so worried about saving your ass I'll go with the damned Salarians."

He blinked at her, as though confused, stunned out of the stupor of anger momentarily as he drank in her words carefully. "You don't understand." He said quietly "It's not me I'm worried about."

"Kaidan. Don't." She blurted, raising a hand to stop him, but it was too late. The thoughts permeated her mind like osmosis, impossible to keep out as they diffused as easily as air. The thought that this could be the last time she spoke to him, ever. That this mission could end with all their deaths – at the least some and the odds were stacked against them this time. She had to stay focused, she had to put her concern for him from her mind – in order to do what had to be done she had to be willing to lose it all.

"Don't what?" He asked, shaking his head at her, she could see he was almost beyond reason – his anger at being assigned to the most dangerous area of the mission bubbling over; but then she caught his eyes, expecting to see a fire of rage within she was surprised. There was no anger there, only fear. Fear and worry and genuine concern.

For her.

"Shepard… I'll follow you to the end you know that." He said thickly, "I just… there are things I want to say… in case…"

"Kaidan." She breathed "Don't… don't say anything." She swallowed as her eyes began to ache with unshed tears "We're going to be fine."

"Alright." He nodded, slowly "No words."

She blinked, willing her eyes to remain dry, but as she opened them again her vision was filled with Kaidan as he pressed against her swiftly, the motion knocking the breath from her and her feet as they crashed against the wall of the cabin together. His mouth pressed to hers, an urgency there that stirred the same fear within her; rising in her chest like some coiled beast it gripped her heart in its frozen talons, the thought of him dying flooding her senses and rendering her helpless, clutching at his shoulders in desperation as she kissed him back with a matching passion.

She felt hot tears on her cheeks, her own she realised, as she sucked in a breath between feverish kisses, pulling him against her, the air filled with their heavy panting, the scrape of their armour against each other, the thundering of her heart against her ribs.

"Kaidan…" She murmured against his mouth and he drew her into a tight embrace, kissing her forehead, her hair as he shook his head, crushing together as tightly as they could.

"it's going to be fine." He whispered "I'm sorry. I was just… I'm sorry Abigail, it's going to be fine."

She nodded, holding onto him, needing him near, just for a moment. Just a moment.

"We should go." He whispered against her hair, but he made no move to release her, and she was unwilling to let him go either just yet. Slowly she nodded.

Gently he pulled back from her, smoothing her hair gently as he cupped her face with his gloved hand "I'll see you when this is all over." He said thickly. She didn't dare speak for fear her voice would betray her and so could only nod as he turned, opening the door to the cabin once more.

She stood a moment longer, composing herself slowly, swiping at her eyes angrily as she regained control of her emotions. Her heart was still thundering as she approached the doorway, glimpsing the storm clouds gathering in the distance.

"You owe me one." She said bitterly to them "Don't fuck me around. Keep him safe." She whispered watching Kaidan's retreating figure as he headed toward the Salarian STG team.

"Please."


	9. Chapter 9

Title: Virmire Part Nine  
Author: DinkyMew  
Game: Mass Effect (One)  
Disclaimer:  
Characters Featured:

"So it's true then?" Joker asked, tapping the front of his cap absently as he folded his arms over his chest. The clink of his leg braces sounded loud in the cockpit and Ashley shifted uncomfortable in the doorway "Shepard's really signing us all up for this?"

The cockpit was small, warm and full of things that reminded her of Joker. His Alliance jacket hanging over the back of his pilot seat, the scent of his aftershave – something slightly spicy and sweet – swam around her as she watched the back of his head carefully.

"Looks like." Ashley smiled "I guess we're out of alternatives here Jeff, I just wanted to stop by and… well… you know. Say adios."

His back was to her but she could see his jaw clench as he watched the monitors in front of him, he moved his shoulders in his chair "Yeah; wish I could come with you guys." He said bitterly, his hand unconsciously reaching to his knee as the words sprang from voice. She swallowed, she knew how difficult it was for him to be left behind all the time; he wanted so badly to fight beside them.

"We need you here." Ashley countered "We're gonna need a pretty swift pick-up once I arm this nuke… no one better to do it than you." She added, the compliment was not lost – he acknowledged it with a brief flutter of a smile.

"I'm just glad you're not going with the Salarians." Joker said quietly, "Does that make me an asshole? That I would hope for you to be with Shepard, but it's ok for my best friend to go to certain death?" He shook his head and pressed on before she could answer "How is Kaidan?"

Ashley gave a small, humourless laugh as she inclined her head "Scared as hell. I think we all are at this point. There's a lot to lose."

"A lot to gain too though." Joker added quickly "And that is what we have to be thinking about. When you're out there – that is what you have to keep thinking about."

"Yeah." She said, watching the back of his head carefully "You're right." She glanced behind her to the empty gangway – most of the crew were out enjoying the weather – almost oblivious to the upcoming battle. She kind of wished she was with them; and kind of not. Ignorance was bliss – but it was still ignorance.

"Right. Well." She smiled "I better go and see what the Commander has planned – I'll see you on the other side Joker." She was about to leave when he lurched round in his chair, a hand half extended to give her pause.

"Ash…" He mumbled, she waited, looking back at him expectantly "I know we said what happened at the apartment was just a bit of fun…" He glanced away, back to her eyes "I just want you to know it was the best fun I've had, in a long time." He held her gaze and she felt her cheeks blossom with colour as she looked to the floor "Make sure you are at that rendezvous point. I won't miss." He promised.

"Now now, Joker." She grinned "Careful, you might just worry about me while I'm gone."

He chuckled warmly, turning back to the monitor "Yeah." He breathed "if you see Kaidan… tell him I said good luck."

"I will." Ashley said, hesitating in the doorway a moment longer. At last she drew her eyes from him and slipped back out into the gangway and out the airlock once more.

Abigail glanced to Garrus at her side, giving him a hopeful smile as she touched the earpiece in her ear gently "Joker, wave Captain Anderson and update him of our progress so far, we're heading out now."

"Aye aye Commander." Joker replied, his voice crackling with static "Be careful."

Garrus made a noise low in his throat, almost a growl as he glanced skyward "Those storm clouds are going to be a problem." He mumbled, shouldering his sniper rifle.

Shepard sighed, motioning for them to move forward "Nothing is ever simple." She breathed, catching Ashley's smile as she pulled her own pistol free.

"Comm check Commander." Captain Kirrahe's voice asked urgently in her ear, she cleared her throat, signalling Garrus to push forward and scout ahead.

"I read you." She whispered "Loud and clear."

She swivelled her head round, her body following, examining her surroundings as they pressed through the maze of rocks, kicking up water and sand as they moved painfully slowly toward the first fortified compound.

"Engaging the Geth." She heard Kaidan's voice, short and commanding and it filled her with resolve as she gripped her pistol tighter, pulling against the rock-face as the compound loomed into vision ahead.

"Geth up ahead Shepard." Garrus whispered and she glanced him ahead, propped against a shard of rock, his back pressed flat against it. "Maybe a dozen on the first floor of the compound."

"Alright." She said, taking a breath "When you're ready Garrus." She glanced at the first floor of the compound, it looked easy enough to get into, an access ramp was lowered and would allow her and Ashley to charge up once the engaging shot was fired.

"The tower, Shepard." Ashley whispered beside her and Shepard followed her gaze. On the roof of the compound was a large satellite, twisting and humming monotonously in the sunlight. She smiled; taking that out would certainly cause a distraction among the Geth, buy Kaidan and the Salarians some valuable time.

She glanced to Garrus who was lining up his shot, pressing her back to rock she looked back to Ashley "Give me some cover fire when we get up there." She said quietly "I'm gonna try and take that tower out."

"You got it Skipper." She whispered, shouldering her rifle.

Abigail paused, the familiarity of that word hitting home like a punch to her gut. Her brow furrowed as she measured the woman, briefly wondering if she had somehow seen her journal logs, or heard something… but she couldn't think about that now. Shaking off the chill it brought her she turned her eyes back to Garrus just as he squeezed the trigger of his rifle, the first shot like thunder in the enclosed canyons of rock.

He ducked back, reloading swiftly as the commotion of the Geth above drifted down toward them. Their electronic twitching irritated Abigail's ears as she led Ashley up the ramp-way. Aiming she took a shot – shattering the face panel of the first Geth to approach. It sparked, the light shattering and spraying glass and superheated fragments toward her as she pressed forward, shoving the corpse roughly to the side as the other Geth rushed to meet them.

The successive rain of Ashley's assault rifle sounded behind her, rounds showering into the Geth as they advanced. She ducked the attack of the nearest, slamming her elbow against the body panels, knocking the Geth off balance as it teetered back and fell headlong over the balcony of the compound. Instead of attacking she rushed to the console blinking in the far corner, flipping open her omnitool and running the sequence for tower access. There was an explosion behind her and she flinched, dipping her head as she worked over the console rapidly, her fingers moving faster than her mind could process what was happening.

Her omnitool sounded the activation alarm, and she scrambled the communication lines for the facility; leaving them in the dark and unable to speak to one and other. Turning she drew her pistol swiftly once more firing once, twice and on the third time the satellite dish on the roof shattered, collapsing off the edge of the compound and clattering to the ground below.

"Well." Ashley smiled, wiping her forehead with the back of her gloved hand "That got the job done."

Shepard moved back, keeping pace with Garrus this time as they hurried back down the ramp-way, the Turian grinned wickedly at her "Not even breaking a sweat." He chuckled.

"The Geth seem to be having some trouble here." Captain Kirrahe's voice came over the radio "Looks like something has disrupted communications… seems shadow team are progressing nicely!"

Shepard took a moment to smile, every little bit of help she gave them filled her with hope she would see Kaidan again.

"Cover the flank!" She heard Kaidan shout, his tone commanding – urgent "We're going to get swamped; press forward before those Geth fliers come back around."

She paused, hesitating as she looked ahead at the Facility. It loomed several floors into the sky – a giant hidden among the cliffs and rocks of Virmire.

"Geth fliers." She said, turning to face Ashley and Garrus "Garrus, take them out. We'll head to the facility. Meet us inside when you are done."

"On it." Garrus nodded, locking his rifle on his back as he turned to run down the skyway. Shepard turned to stare back down their chosen path, a long walkway leading directly to the back of the Facility.

"Keep it smart Chief." She said, readying her pistol once more "No heroics."

_I pace the small white room like a caged tigress. _

_It's been a few hours since Spooner dropped me off here, and I hate it. The glass from my shattered globe still lies glistening on the floor and I know I should probably clean it up – but I'm too livid to even try. _

_I grab at my hair, I wrap my arms around myself, I scream – scream like I'm back on Mindoir. Scream like there are raiders at my door. I want him to come back! I want him to know I'm sorry! I don't blame him; he can have Engineer Smith, I just want to go home!_

_I can feel myself spiralling out of control, the electricity moving over my skin like gooseflesh, I open my eyes and can see the blue hue growing brighter and I cannot stop it – I don't even know how I am doing it! I feel bloated, like I am filling with air, the pressure pushing on my eardrums as I glow brighter, that feeling sails higher-_

"_WHOA!" The voice distracts me, as does the rough hands that grip my own, pulling me to the side. There is a reaction, like a static shock that makes me jump, the momentary deflection enough that the blue hum winks out and I am stood staring into dark eyes. _

"_Get off me." I snarl, yanking my hands back, pushing myself against the boy as he stumbles back, splaying hands in surrender. He is taller than me by at least a foot, his dark hair brushed back he looks to be dressed in some kind of uniform, but I don't care. _

"_Look, just trying to help!" He says urgently, taking another step back and pressing a hand to my shoulder this time to stop me following him. _

"_Fuck off." I grind out, glaring through him as he shuffles from one foot to the other, rubbing the back of his neck unsure._

"_You want me to get a section leader or something?" He asks, and I blink at him. No, I don't want him to get a section leader. I want him to piss off. _

"_Get out." I say, low and cold and dangerous, but he takes a step toward me as though to give me a friendly pat on the shoulder. I rebuff the gesture, instead slamming into him, bumping chests as I screw my face up at him "GET OUT!" I scream, tears of anger and frustration gathering at the corners of my eyes. _

_At last he gets the message, slipping back to the doorway, his feet crunching over the broken glass; he glances down curiously but doesn't say anything. Instead he presses a hand to the doorframe and sighs._

"_Alright." He says slowly "I just… it gets better." He says gently and I look at him, really look at him this time. His eyes are genuine and soft and I sneer at him, turning my back on his generosity. Fuck them all. I'm not bowing and scraping to anyone in here – I don't care what they tell me I have, they can cure these biotics and I can get the hell out of here and enlist when I turn eighteen. That is all I want to do._

_From now on, that is all I care about._

Kaidan checked his rifle, dropping the nose as the last attacking Geth splintered and burst to pieces under the fire of his team.

"Alright." He panted, dropping to crouch behind his cover once more "Bunker up before those fliers come back around." He glanced to his right where a Salarian sat, stooped over, green blood running from a wound in his abdomen. He glanced up at the Leiutenant, the same green blood pooling at the corners of his large flat mouth.

"We're not going to make it." He breathed, blood and saliva dribbling from his lips as he shook his head "This was a mistake."

Kaidan grimaced, turning to the Salarian, setting his rifle down as he pulled his last medigel free from the pack at his thigh. The small, pliable vessel was no bigger than 10 inches and he uncapped it swiftly, pressing the clear, lifesaving gel over the salarian's wound. After a few seconds it began to take effect, simultaneously numbing the pain receivers at the wound site and sealing it tight from infection and to encourage healing.

Even though he had left with a full stock of medigel it was now depleted, treating the many wounds his men had received so far. If anyone took another shot he would be unable to help except with field first aid and stims, of which he still had a few left, but adrenaline shots were risky with Salarian's whose metabolism far exceeded a human's.

"Take it easy," Kaidan said firmly, gripping the salarian's shoulder to steady him as the sudden surge of relief made him jittery with blood loss. "You'll feel better in a moment."

The Salarian, coughed, wiping at his mouth "Thank you friend." He said genuinely "When we meet again in the afterlife, I owe you one."

Kaidan grinned, glancing over the small parapet they were crouched behind, still no sign of any more Geth yet – but they had to get to that AA tower and fast.

"Not yet." He said, getting slowly to his feet "Shepard will see us out of here alive. I know that."

The Salarian chuckled, pressing a three fingered hand to his abdomen as he winced "You have tremendous faith in her. I hope it is true."

Kaidan smiled, thinking of their moment together just before the assault, the thought of holding her again in his arms warmed him "She doesn't know how to fail." He stated flatly, with that he turned motioning for the other squads to push forward – they were getting to that AA tower now.

Shepard jogged to the console, her boots rattling along the grate walkway as she locked her pistol back in its holder. Behind her she could hear the rumble of Ashley and Garrus as they hit the walkway, the sound of Geth firing on them not far behind.

She activated the screen, the login protocol flashing before she had even managed to access any files. Rigging the hack sequence on her omnitool she only had to wait a few seconds as it ripped through the defences and allowed her access to the Facility security. Most of it was networked to another console – but she could activate alarms from this one as well as unlock the doors immediately in front of them.

"Can we get in?" Ashley asked beside her and Shepard nodded quickly, wiping a gloved hand over her forehead to catch the perspiration building there.

"We can." She said confidently "I can also set off alarms at the far side of the building, it would clear our way but would be more trouble for Kaidan and the Salarians." She thought aloud "I'm just going to disable the alarms, we'll have to deal with whatever is inside, but Kaidan's team need all the help they can get." She moved quickly, flinching as a bullet pinged off the console frame barely missing her head before Garrus turned firing once at the shooter, stilling its form forever.

It was hard to think of the Geth as anything more than machines when they came as though they were assembled on a line somewhere. They loosely resembled Quarians, which made sense giving that it was the Quarians who created them originally before the war. Lithe in frame and build, their 'heads' curved forward under smooth panels, the main focus drawn to a circular orb of light at the center of the 'head', to the side two smaller lights blinked and flickered like eyes – but Shepard knew it was nothing more than a ruse.

"We're in." She breathed, elated that they had managed to progress so far with so few injuries.

_Hold on Kaidan_, She thought desperately, they owed this progress to him and his team.

Pressing forward she punched the holo-lock for the door, waiting as it turned from red to green and the doors slid open with a metallic clang. It looked to be a warehouse of some sort, heavy machinery sat unused in one corner with an abundance of crates and boxes, some opened, others still in clear packaged seal.

"Eyes open." She whispered, drawing her pistol once more as the doors slid closed behind them plunging them into near darkness.

She took a moment to let her eyes adjust, knowing that the lack of light would come in handy to spot the approaching Geth she was hesitant to turn on her flashlight. To the left a small set of stairs led to a small sub level where a console unit lined one wall and beyond she could see a turn to the right leading on to more stairs.

Taking the steps swiftly she passed her eyes over the console unit, but it was simply for work done in the warehouse, nothing useful they could glean from its workstation and so she motioned Garrus to move forward while she took point, readying her pistol as they moved just as quickly up the next flight of stairs.

They were barred by a door at the top – unlocked – and Garrus ducked to the side pulling his assault rifle free as he waited for the signal from Shepard. Behind her she could hear Ashley breathing hard, and with a cautious foot on the step above her she gave Garrus a nod.

He slammed a fist on the lock the doors springing open allowing Shepard the time – as the inhabitants of the next room whipped around in surprise, caught off guard – to assess the threat. It looked medical in nature, the room, and two Salarians jumped at the sound of the door opening, immediately drawing pistols from holders. She didn't give them a breath, firing once, twice each shot hitting home directly in their heads – they had no shields, no protection. She lamented the fact they were as defenceless as civilians, but she had no time to play hero with evil doctors. They chose their path.

The room was full of medical equipment and scanners, shelves and tables full of bottles and jars and boxes lined the walls. As they drew closer she could see one shelf was full of jars of tiny krogan embryos, their little curved shapes only just discernible in the yellow liquid they were immersed.

"Gross." Ashley remarked, peering at the jars closer "Is that what baby Krogan look like?"

Shepard, blinked, lowering her pistol as she took in the scene with disgust "I don't know." She said in a tiny voice.

"We can't leave these here Shepard." Garrus protested beside her, and Shepard glanced in his direction nodding.

"We're not, this whole place is going up once we set off that nuke." She promised him.

"Good." Garrus said firmly and she thought she could see a look of relief pass his eyes, but it was hard to tell with Turians, they always looked pissed off.

"Alright." She said, glancing another doorway "Let's push forward."

_I've been told to eat lunch in the canteen to encourage my integration to the facility. I hate the people here, they come in with their smiles and pretend like they know everything about me because I have biotics. It's like saying I have some kind of disease, and they smile pityingly at me as though I am terminally ill too. I hate it. _

_Once a week we are taken from the asteroid facility to the main base Arcturus, which is a breath of fresh air as it is full to the brim with Alliance marines, not sick biotic kids like Blue Horizon. It's the only time I have any hope of maybe seeing someone from the Humbee, or some news on how the crew are doing – so far I haven't heard anything, except the email I got from Spooner; but I'm not replying. Not until he comes and gets me out of here. _

_Today we are eating lunch at Arcturus in their giant mess hall, which is only slightly better than the one at the Blue Horizon facility. I want to go and sit with the marines but the matron has us all sitting together like it's a school excursion, and I am forced to look at the pale, sickly faces of my peers – worrying that I look as pale and sickly as them. I hope not._

_The matron paces at our backs, her eyes trained to spot the slightest indiscretion in our behaviour. They rule us with a rod of iron – it's all part of the control training, if you can't control your behaviour then apparently you're not ready to control your biotics, so they've created weighty punishments for bad behaviour and a routine that is followed as rigidly as a convent for sinners. I don't know why we have sinned. _

_I push food around my tray, something akin to chicken and mince floats in gravy in one section, in the other a blob of mashed potato shines with butter peppered with green peas. I'm not hungry, but the matron has her eye on me. At the last weigh-in I had lost more than they liked and I was placed on some kind of special register which meant I got fed more often and received bigger portions than the others. _

"_Hey Shepard," A voice down the table calls me out and I raise my eyes in his direction, narrowing them venomously at him. "Is it true that's how you escaped Mindoir?" He presses, an ugly grin splitting his features as he chuckles for good measure "You just turned sideways and the Batarians couldn't see you?"_

_Marcus Pilgrim is an idiot. Has been since the moment I met him on the Blue Horizon facility, and his attempts to goad me out have been pathetic, even this attempt barely scratches my surface as I smile coldly at him, setting my fork carefully beside my tray._

"_There's no need to feel jealous Marcus." I say cooly "I can always gain some weight, but you… you're stuck with that face the rest of your life." _

_He blinks at me, his round eyes squinting in indignation as the chuckles of the others float up from the table. I glance the matron over at the food court, so that was the reason for his sudden flash of courage. _

"_You wanna do something?" He calls me out, lifting his chin angrily as he gets to his feet, all bravado and flair in his feathers as he pounds his chest with a fist like the inebriated caveman he is. I smile, getting to my feet also, not about to back down to this joke. _

"_Careful, I don't want you straining something." I say, extending a hand in friendly warning "You look a little out of shape."_

_That does it; with a roar he comes charging over the top of the table, kicking plates and glasses flying as he lumbers toward me unbalanced and unready. I stand still, watching him as he drops to the floor in front of me – I hear the shouts and gasps of those around us, the whooping calls of the marines as they realise a fight has broken out. Marcus pulls back with a fist; just a fist, no biotics or anything, and prepares to hit me and I laugh, dodging the first blow easily. The second is a bit of luck – but it looks damn impressive. _

_I feel my biotics inside me, like a strength locked in a box I flip the clasp and unleash it. My skin begins to crackle as it lights up blue, gathering the feeling to a point I push forward in the blink of an eye, the bolt leaving my hand and connecting solidly with his chest, knocking him back. There is a roar of cries and whistles that surges the power in me, pushes my adrenaline to spike as I stride to where he lies prostrate on the floor. I grab his hair, pulling his head back, ready to ram his filthy mouth into the tiled floor beneath me-_

_Something catches me hand, pulling my fingers free and yanking me from him in a smooth movement, one that gives me pause as I whirl to face my new attacker. It's that boy; the same one that came by my room when I first arrived here. _

_I growl at him, but he is as blue as me, his dark eyes lit with a dancing blue fire as he lets me go, pulls up a barrier that will do nothing to help him. I launch an attack at him and he deflects it well, too well, so I collide against him forcing him into hand-to-hand combat. Spooner has trained me well, and this boy is unable to do anything except dodge and block my barrage of attacks, and even then he is tiring fast. _

_I see an opening, his arm coming to block a blow to his head, but I feign the attack, instead gripping his arm roughly and using his own momentum to jar his elbow, causing him to either flip or dislocate his shoulder. He chooses to go with the motion and flip, landing hard on the canteen floor on his back. I don't give him time to recover; I launch myself onto him, sitting astride him as I charge up another biotic punch ready to hit him full in the face-_

"_STAND DOWN!"_

_The voice trembles over the noise of the canteen and I pause, looking down at the boy beneath me. His nose is bloodied, his dark eyes hard and hinting at fear as he wriggles under me, pushing me away now he has the element of distraction. _

"_Just what the hell is going on here?" The same voice asks, anger and authority colouring it to a tone I don't like. One that sours my mood. I get to my feet sullenly, turning to face him. _

_He's tall, I come face to chest with a smart blue suit, a line of medals at the breast pocket catch my eyes, and I look up at the dark face, stern and unimpressed with me. His eyes are dark, narrow and invasive and I turn my own to the floor suddenly sheepish. Whoever this is, he must be big news to be boasting so many medals. _

"_You." He grunts, not at me, but to the boy beside me, the one that had intervened "You are a senior here, you should know better."_

"_Yes sir." He says, wiping at his nose with the back of his hand "I was just having lunch when I saw her attack sir; it was in defence of another."_

"_That's true!" Another boy called; this one in a wheelchair. I glare at him and he looks back at me, the beginnings of red facial hair sprouting at the corners of his mouth. "I saw it too Sir." He added, a little less confident under my gaze though._

"_Get back to your station." The soldier commands, the comment directed at the boy standing beside me, he salutes and the dark man adds "You too Jeff." Before his eyes turn to me "Walk with me a while." He says firmly. I glare at him; it's not a question I realise._

_It's an order. _

Ashley watched as the Commander moved from room to room, efficient and deadly as she first took care of occupants and then scanned the area for useful intel almost subconsciously. They had progressed well, although communication from the other team assaulting the AA guns had been terse and short – interrupted with bullet hail and commanding shouts.

She was worried about Kaidan, he had stopped reporting in almost fifteen minutes ago and she could see the tense line of the Commander's jaw every time a voice came over their comms. She was trying so hard to keep up appearances, but Ashley knew her well enough to know she was hurting. Hurting big time.

"Is that a husk?" She asked, coming up behind Shepard and examining the remains on the floor in front of them. When they had first entered these creatures were inside some kind of scanners, but had broken free almost as if on command, only to be shot to pieces by them. They were human in appearance, or rather they looked like human skeletons, but fabricated from a mix of wires and metal – just like they had seen on Eden Prime. But there were no Dragon's Teeth here – the grand spikes that rose out of the ground to spear living victims and transform them into husks.

"I don't know." Shepard said, her brow furrowing as she kicked the side of the metal head with her boot "I didn't see any Dragon's Teeth here." She said as though reading Ashley's mind "What the hell is Saren doing here."

"You heard the Salarian's in the basement." Garrus offered, his attention focused on the window as he scanned the walkway outside for threats "Something about indoctrination."

Ashley shifted uncomfortable. They had heard the same speech from Liara's mother on Noveria, that Saren had possession of a ship that had remarkable mind-controlling capabilities. They called the process indoctrination, but indoctrinated by who? By Saren or his ship, Sovereign?

Garrus pressed forward, approaching the next door and opening it, his riffle at the ready. There was a scream from the next room and both Ashley and Shepard looked in his direction as he hesitated with the shot, finally lowering his gun. Shepard glanced to her, her eyes darkening as she jogged to join the Turian who was stood motionless in the doorway. As she caught up Ashley could see there was an Asari worker behind a desk, cowering behind her hands as she whimpered at them.

"Please," She said hesitantly "Don't shoot me."

Ashley glanced to Shepard, saw the look of hesitation pass over her eyes as she glanced the elevator at the back of the room. It was locked down, ad suddenly Ashley knew what her Commander was thinking. She liked it.

"I won't shoot you." Shepard said firmly "But tell me who you are."

The Asari stood shakily, her skin more a hue of purple than blue, accentuated by the dark green of her clothing. She looked to be some kind of doctor or official within the facility.

"I'm Rana." She breathed, her hands still extended in surrender as she eyed them all fearfully "Rana Thanoptis neurospecialist. Or… I was, but this job isn't worth dying for – or worse!" She wailed hysterically, shaking her head "You think the indoctrination only affects the prisoners?!" She cried "Soon Saren will want to dissect my brain too!"

"I thought this was a breeding facility." Shepard frowned, taking a step toward the Asari.

"Not this level." Rana sputtered "Up here we are studying the effects of Sovereign on organic minds… or that's what I thought… Saren keeps us all in the dark as much as he can." She looked around fearfully, as though Saren would come from nowhere.

Ashley scoffed, allowing her dislike of Asari to come to the fore as gave the woman a scathing look up and down "You were helping him and you don't even know why?"

The Asari met her glare with one of her own "I didn't have the option to ask questions once I signed up ok?" She barked, her fear turning to anger as she struggled to regain her composure "This position became a little more permanent than I had expected." She took a quick breath turning back to Shepard as she gave a nervous smile "But… but I can help you – that elevator behind me that leads right to Saren's private chambers… all his records… everything is there." Before anyone could answer she rushed to locked elevator pressing a code into the keypad and watching as the light flicked from red to green.

"See?" She said brightly "All yours… just… just let me go ok?"

"We're blowing this place to hell." Shepard growled "How you plan on escaping the blast?"

Rana blinked, the colour draining from her face as she shook her head "I'll find a way, just let me go – there are shuttle cars in the warehouse, I can outrun the blast, I ca-"

"I ever see you again in a situation like this I won't be so gracious." Shepard warned icily. The Asari did not need to be told twice. Without so much as a second glance she took off running, pushing past Garrus on her way. The Turian broke into a small smile, giving Shepard an appreciative glance.

"You enjoyed that." He said flatly.

Beside him Shepard smiled "A little."


	10. Chapter 10

Title: Virmire Part Ten  
Author: DinkyMew  
Game: Mass Effect (One)  
Disclaimer: Bioware owns all characters and content related to the Mass Effect Franchise. Abigail Shepard is my own creation inspired by the character of Jane Shepard created by Bioware. Any original characters contained herein are my own creations and not necessarily affiliated with Bioware. The story may deviate from the actual events of the game series and for this I ask your forgiveness, any anomalies are for entertainment purposes and not intended to offend. **You may not copy, replicate, distribute or edit this fan-fiction as it stands without my expressed permission, thank you**  
Characters Featured:

_No wonder his private labs are locked down_, Shepard thought, lowering her pistol as they pressed through the door, _he has a goddamn Prothean beacon here!_

"Is that…"Ashley started but as they filed into the chamber they could all clearly recognise the artefact, the same type that had started this nightmare, that had gripped Shepard on Eden Prime, rendering her senseless and burning a vision into her head – one of invading machines and a brutal, bloody genocide of organic races.

"It is." Shepard whispered, locking her pistol as she took a wary step toward it.

"Commander." Garrus spoke up, reaching a hand toward her. She shook her head, bidding him to stay where he was.

"This might have the missing information Liara was talking about…" She said, looking hard at them both in turn "We're out of time… and options." She gave a small smile of encouragement, turning once again to face the green ethereal glow of the stone pillar. Reaching a hand toward it the green light snaked out toward her, almost like a plume of energy from a sun, its smoky fingers wrapped around her own, seizing her arm tightly with sudden painful strength, pulling her from the ground as the vision seared her mind.

She closed her eyes as the first images hit, like a grenade had been dropped inside her skull she ground her teeth until she thought they would break – the disjointed images flashing in her mind's eye so rapidly she could barely keep up with them. She went rigid, every muscle and sense in her body thrumming with energy as she struggled to contain it all. Then overarching all she had seen, the ship Sovereign loomed into view, and behind it a million more like it – and suddenly she understood.

Saren was not the real threat here at all; he wasn't bringing the Reapers. Sovereign was a Reaper!

The beacon released her once more, and she staggered back, steadied by Ashley's hand on her shoulder.

"What did you see?" She asked quietly and Shepard blinked, staring back at the inactive beacon with trepidation. Whatever was coming, they were not ready.

"I don't know." She said frowning "I… I have to think it through." She said at last "Let's get going, we can worry about this later."

Leading the way back up the ramp Shepard paused as something caught her attention out of the corner of her eye. At the end of a walkway there was a console unit, nothing spectacular about it, but there was a possibility it was Saren's personal console, so she hesitated, turning to go and examine it. As she approached a red hologram appeared floating above the console, suspended in the air. It was vaguely insect-like, a tapering body that reminded her of some form of crustacean, with large pincer-like legs hanging beneath the main bulk. It was the same ship she had seen on Eden Prime. It was Sovereign.

"This, is not. Good." Garrus swallowed, coming up beside her. She turned to look at him, to agree when the hologram shifted, and spoke.

"You are not Saren." It announced, its voice hollow and metallic in the small space, bit at the edges of her ears. It bordered on painful, and she frowned at it: This was Sovereign.

Garrus flinched, putting a foot back as he peered at the holo-image "Is that some kind of VI technology?" He asked hopefully.

"Rudimentary creatures of blood and flesh, you touch my mind, fumbling in ignorance, incapable of understanding." Sovereign rumbled on, the inflection in the tone was cold, calculated.

Garrus took a sharp breath "I don't think this is a VI." He said quietly.

"There is a realm of existence so far beyond your own you cannot even imagine it. I am beyond your comprehension. I am Sovereign."

Shepard swallowed, glancing to Garrus as her suspicions were proven true "Sovereign isn't a dormant Reaper ship that Saren found," She said darkly to the Turian "It's an actual Reaper."

The image of Sovereign scoffed "Reaper?" It asked, the hint of incredulity in its tinny voice "A label created by the Protheans to give voice to their destruction. In the end what they chose to call us is irrelevant. We simply are."

Garrus balled his fists, raising his chin "The Protheans vanished 50,000 years ago – there is no way you could have been there. It's not possible."

"Organic life is nothing but a genetic mutation, an accident. Your lives are measured in years and decades. You wither and die. We are eternal, the pinnacle of evolution and existence. Before us, you are nothing. Your extinction is inevitable, we are the end of everything."

Shepard licked her lips, taking a hesitant but defiant step forward "There is an entire galaxy united and ready to face you!" She barked, glaring at the image as it flickered with motion.

"Confidence born of ignorance." The Reaper scolded "The cycle cannot be broken."

"Cycle?" Ashley asked, looking to Shepard for help "What cycle?"

Shepard fixed the Reaper with a glare, not willing to let it see she didn't know the answer to Ashley's question.

"The pattern has repeated itself more times than you can fathom." Sovereign intoned "Organic civilisations rise, evolve, advance and at the apex of their glory they are extinguished. The Protheans were not the first. They did not create the Citadel. They did not forge the Mass Relays. They merely found them, the legacy of my kind."

Shepard opened her mouth to speak, letting that sink in, two major things troubling her. Firstly the way Sovereign spoke it alluded to the idea that there was more than this one Reaper alive. That thought made her stomach curl in terror – they had seen the destruction caused by one ship, never mind any more, but she would never voice that thought – not to anyone.

"Why would you construct Mass Relays and then leave them for someone else to find?" She asked carefully.

"Your civilisation is based on the technology of the Mass Relays." The Reaper said simply "Our technology. By using it, your society develops along the paths we desire. We impose order on the chaos off organic evolution. You exist because we allow it. And you will end because we demand it."

Shepard felt her fingers twitch over her pistol, the thought of shooting the image crossed her mind, but she realised how futile that would be. Behind her Ashley let out a sharp breath.

"They're harvesting us!" She cried "Letting us advance as far as they need and then wiping us out!"

Shepard felt the panic in her friend's voice, felt the fear roaming rampant in the room as they all struggled to contain their emotions in the presence of the Reaper. "You're just a machine." She whispered "You're not even alive. Not really. And machines can be broken."

"Your words are as empty as your future." Sovereign growled "I am the vanguard of your destruction. This exchange is over."

Shepard took a dangerous step forward, the hiss of the machine's voice gaining volume in her ears to the point it became unbearable. She ground her teeth, pressing her hands over her ears as she doubled over. Just as she moved the windows around the room shattered, glass spraying inward toward them. Shepard ducked, but too late, the glass rained down around her, nipping her skin with a dozen little cuts and scratches.

Still hunkered down she caught her breath just as the static off her earpiece gave her pause.

"Commander, we've got trouble." Joker's voice was nervous.

"Hit me Joker." She groaned, getting back to her feet and brushing the glass from her armour.

"That ship… Sovereign? It's moving. I don't know what you did down there, but that thing just pulled a turn that would shear any of our ships in half." He said it in a rush, his nervous tone setting sparks of anticipation alight in her gut "It's coming your way and it's coming hard, you need to get things wrapped up in there and fast!"

"What now Commander?" Ashley asked, coming up beside her once more. Her face was grazed along her cheek by the glass blast and she looked like she could barely contain her fear as she glanced nervously back to where the image of Sovereign had been.

"We head back to the breeding facility." Shepard said carefully "We plant the nuke and blow this place to hell."

-x—O—x-

"_You are making quite a name for yourself already." Anderson says, watching me from across the table as he passes his mug of coffee from one hand to the other "I knew your father. John Shepard, quite a man." _

_I grunt, folding my arms and leaning back in the chair, so this guy wants to pretend he knows me too. _

_Great._

"_What do you think he would say about this?" He asks, taking a long drink before fixing me with those eyes "Picking fights, cussing, defying orders – the Alliance, you know how your father felt about the Alliance Shepard?" He asks carefully "I knew your father when he enlisted as a soldier, I was there when he was shot through the spine, when he lost his job – when he was forced to revaluate everything he had planned." He swallows, looking away into the distance as though he can see my dad there "Good thing he did too, that man's smarts were unparalleled, it was a sad day when he turned his back on the Alliance and moved to Mindoir." _

_I stare sullenly off to the distance wishing I could stop hearing him, wishing I could just curl up and die. I think of my father, shuffling into the kitchen in his bathrobe, his greying hair dishevelled and sticking at odd angles. He would pour himself a coffee and sit by me at the window seat, watching the sun rise over Mindoir. Sometimes we would talk about biology, sometimes he would talk to me about school or would talk about an Alliance story. At the time those moments had seemed like he was overcompensating for being away so often at his lab – but looking back I can see those moments in tender relief, I can almost smell his cologne. _

_I miss him. _

"_He did it all for you." Anderson says seriously and I turn my eyes back to him, fighting against the tears that swell there "That move to Mindoir was for you, and you would spit on his memory like this?" He shakes his head, taking another drink from his mug "I don't know. That is not the John Shepard I remember. Certainly not how he would want his daughter to behave."_

_I break my mouth open, my breath coming in little ragged gasps as I lick my lips slowly. "I don't like it here." I say, my voice strained and cracking with emotion as I look at the table._

"_Hmm." Anderson growls low in his throat, but it isn't threatening, it's quite a warm noise "I know." He says carefully "You know I was fighting alongside a biotic the other day. " He adds ruefully "In fact, that boy you took to the floor – he is training as we speak to join the Alliance ranks – you took him out Shepard and he is tipped to graduate top of his class. Can you imagine what you could do if you focused some of that fight in the right direction?"_

_I sigh, shaking my head, unwilling to consider it – it would mean giving in, giving up – accepting that I had once again been abandoned and I wasn't ready to do that yet…_

"_Well, look at the time." Anderson said, glancing at his watch "I'll tell you what. You keep your nose clean for the next week and when I come to see you I'll bring you something of your dad's."_

_I watch him get to his feet stiffly, taking his mug with him as he tips his head toward me politely. I stare after him, confused and hurting from his words as I turn them over and over in my head. I think of my dad, in those last moments of helplessness – what good was the Alliance then?_

_I'll be better, I promise him, I won't let anyone down._

-x—O—x-

Ashley gripped the steel side of the nuclear bomb, eyeing Engineer Donnelly as he gripped the other side carefully and she mirrored his momentum, lifting it between them as they started down the gangway of the Normandy's shuttle bay. As her feet hit the plaza of the facility once more the sky split with a tremendous roar followed shortly by the pitter-patter of rain on the metallic surface of the bomb.

Shepard was waiting by the site they had chosen for the bomb, her arms folded under her breasts as she watched them carefully, her face dark and thoughtful – no doubt still reeling from the mission's revelations.

Squinting through the rain they placed the bomb gently on the ground, and Ashley took a cautious step back, dusting her hands off her armour.

"You ready for this?" Shepard asked, her eyes fixed on the nuke.

Ashley nodded firmly "Absolutely." She said "We can do it. You got us this far – two AA towers down, nuke is here – we didn't come this far to screw it up now."

Shepard was about to smile and say something when the noise of their comms crackled into life.

"Commander can you hear me?" It was Kaidan, his voice almost drowned out by the rain and the background noise of heavy gunfire.

"We're just setting the charges Alenko." Shepard said loudly "Get your teams back to the rendezvous point we'll be heading to you shortly."

"Negative Commander." Kaidan's voice was strained, almost mournful "The Geth have us pinned down on the tower, there is no way we are getting back to that rendezvous point in time."

Ashley swallowed, watching Shepard as her façade of strength faltered – only momentarily. If she hadn't been watching she would have missed it; the panic that fluttered across her eyes before she closed them, taking a deep breath and turning her back on Ashley, pacing back and forth.

"Joker," She barked "Get the Normandy up to that towe-"

"Negative!" Kaidan's voice interrupted "It's too hot. We can't risk it. We'll hold them off as long as we c-"

His words were cut off mid-sentence, replaced only by a low static.

"Kaidan?" Shepard asked, her voice seemed so tiny Ashley thought "Kaidan?!" She shouted it this time, whirling to face her and Ashley could see she was close to the edge.

"It's ok Shep." Ashley said, quickly "I need some time to arm the nuke anyway, go to the tower and get them then meet me back here."

She didn't need to be told twice, Shepard took a step forward reaching a hand toward her and Ashley met her halfway, pulling her into a quick embrace.

"He'll be alright." She whispered, squeezing gently before letting her go "Go, now!"

With that Shepard turned, pulling her pistol free from her holder and ran toward the elevator to the AA tower. From the Normandy Garrus approached, but she waved him off and the Turian reluctantly backed away – from where she stood Ashley couldn't hear what they were saying to each other.

Kneeling in the rain she unlatched the cover of the bomb removing the small pack of tools from the pocket of her combats. It was time to make some noise.

-x—O—x-

Shepard stood in the elevator bouncing on the balls of her feet, staring at the ceiling willing it to move faster. She took a step forward, pressing the button again and again with her finger, screaming in frustration as she wrenched away, pressing her face to the side of the elevator and closing her eyes trying to regain her composure.

He was fine. He was going to be fine.

The elevator stopped, the doors sliding open to reveal the thundering rain. Without hesitation she launched into the rain, taking a moment to orient herself as she worked her way toward the AA tower.

_Kaidan hold on_, She begged as she burst into a sprint, she skidded to a halt stumbling round a corner just in time to see a Geth drop ship loom into view. It picked up speed, landing somewhere in the facility she couldn't quite see where.

"Head's up Ash, there is a Geth drop ship headed your way." Kaidan said, his voice like a call from above and she almost fainted with relief.

"They're already here!" Came Ashley's urgent reply.

Shepard paused, turning to head back – bringing herself to a standstill - caught "Can you hold them off?" She asked, the rain running down her face as she held her breath.

"There are too many!" Ashley cried "I don't think we'll make it! I'm arming this bomb now!"

Shepard almost swallowed her tongue with shock as she choked out her reply "Chief what are you doing?"

"What I'm trained to." Came the gritty reply "Get the job done no matter what." There was a beat and then "It's done Commander, go and get LT and get the hell out of here."

"Belay that!" Kaidan's voice argued "Go back and get Ashley, we'll hole up in here – keep them busy while you get away."

Shepard closed her eyes, feeling the rain rush down her skin cooling the hot blood that coursed through her. She had to think; she needed a plan – she couldn't do this – she had to choose one, but who? How? How could she make a choice like this?

She opened her eyes again, she was not going to let this happen.

"Alenko, radio Joker tell him to meet us at the AA tower." She said firmly. There was a short silence before Kaidan's voice replied softly.

"Aye aye Commander…I…alright."

Shepard broke into a run once more "Ashley hold on," She breathed slamming herself into the elevator that would take her up to the tower "I'm coming back for you."

"I think we both know that's not going to happen Commander." Ashley said rigidly, but Shepard ignored it slamming her hand into the button of the elevator again and again. This couldn't be happening; it just couldn't.

The moment the doors sprang open she could hear the commotion of gunfire and yelling on the other side of the elevator. She pressed her back against the wall outside the elevator door, peering around the corner to assess the situation – the Salarians and Kaidan were pinned down at the far end of the balcony, crouched behind a low stone wall as the Geth advanced, at the forefront she noticed a Geth destroyer.

Closing her eyes she took a deep breath, clenching and unclenching her fists as she shook her muscles limber. Quietly she dipped round the corner, rushing up behind the nearest Geth placing her pistol to the back of its head and firing.

"Commander!" Kaidan shouted, and she saw him pressed against the far wall, his hand over his shoulder, his armour spattered with fresh blood.

She made to move to him, but the Geth destroyer, substantially larger than the other Geth, rounded on her, aiming a shotgun toward her as she ducked and rolled. She heard the shotgun rounds blast once, twice barely missing her as she scrambled back to her feet, her pistol toppling out of her fingers as she ran to Kaidan's side dropping to her knees beside him.

"Where's your medigel?" She cried, prying his fingers from his shoulder. The wound was bad, bad enough to have her worried; a fresh gout of blood gushed from the wound as she placed his hand back where it had been.

"I'm all out." He rasped, wincing with pain. Shepard got to her feet, patting her own armour pack and pulling out what she had left – two stims and a field dressing, no medigel. She grimaced, snapping the top off the stim and jamming the small syringe into Kaidan's thigh.

He yelped, his free hand coming to hers as she pulled the needle free once more discarding it. His fingers wrapped around hers as he began to tremble involuntarily with the sudden adrenaline rush.

"It's going to be ok." She whispered, squeezing his hand "I'll be right back." Taking his rifle from beside him she shouldered the gun, crouching behind the low wall and training the gun on the advancing Geth destroyer.

The kickback from the rifle was severe and she felt it in her shoulder as she ground the Geth down, resisting the urge to rush over and stamp on its head to make sure it was dead and gone. Quickly she took out the last few Geth just as the wind picked up – the sound of rain interrupted by the whir of the Normandy's engine as it pulled down behind them.

The cargo ramp lowered and Garrus marched to the edge his rifle primed and ready. The Salarian team rushed on board and she paused, helping Kaidan to his feet as they stepped up onto the Normandy's ramp. Kaidan limped a few steps forward, pausing to look at her when she didn't follow immediately.

"Shepard." Kaidan said, holding out his hand and she looked to it, his fingers twitching as she looked back to his face desolately.

"I can't go." She said quietly "I can't just leave her."

"Shepard." Kaidan said, and he took a step toward her. Seizing the moment she dropped back off the ramp just as the Normandy lifted into the air. She landed hard, rolling with the momentum, hearing Kaidan's strained scream even over the drill of the rain.

"Shepard!" Joker's voice barked "What the hell?!"

"Get out of here Joker." She said firmly "I'm going to get Ashley, we're getting out of here all together, I'm not leaving her behind."

"But Commander…" Joker breathed "How…"

"Never mind that Joker, get the Normandy out of here now!" She yelled, grabbing her pistol and locking it in the holder without breaking stride. She turned, watching as the Normandy hovered a few moments more before it rose, climbing higher into the atmosphere.

She crushed her eyes closed; aware that time was ticking away. There was no turning back now; it was do or die.

She ran.


	11. Chapter 11

Title: Virmire Part Eleven  
Author: DinkyMew  
Game: Mass Effect (one)  
Disclaimer: Bioware owns all characters and content related to the Mass Effect Franchise. Abigail Shepard is my own creation inspired by the character of Jane Shepard created by Bioware. Any original characters contained herein are my own creations and not necessarily affiliated with Bioware. The story may deviate from the actual events of the game series and for this I ask your forgiveness, any anomalies are for entertainment purposes and not intended to offend. **You may not copy, replicate, distribute or edit this fanfiction as it stands without my expressed permission, thank you**  
Characters Featured:

Ashley ducked back behind the nuke as the Geth fired another hail of rounds her way. She felt fortunate that the outer shell of the nuke was pretty much indestructible, the small timer slowing ticking down, counting the minutes she had left in her life.

She thought of her friends, safe on the Normandy, gathering strength from the knowledge it had been the right decision. Not only was Kaidan a superior officer to herself, he was also a superior human being.

She closed her eyes, pressing her forehead to the barrel of her rifle as she sucked in long, calming breaths. The electronic fizzing of the Geth ahead sounded nearer and she prepared herself for the shot – the one that would end her agonising wait.

It never came.

Instead she heard the battle cry of a woman, one she recognised all too well as she snapped her eyes open, turning just in time to see Shepard charging back across the plaza, the blue hum of her biotics raging as she threw out a warp that connected solidly with the Geth nearest her. She pressed her attack and Ashley watched, speechless, as her friend kicked one Geth square in the chest knocking it back to shoot it square in the face.

Overhead the sound of an engine drew her eyes and she could see yet another Geth drop ship hover into view, the side-door opening to let the Geth troops out.

"Shepard!" She cried, and Abigail paused, looking to the ship before falling back, dropping beside her behind the nuke as the new wave of Geth troops landed hard on the plaza.

"What are you doing?!" Ashley cried, ducking further as the rain of bullets intensified.

"Saving you!" Shepard shouted back, and then she smiled "Kind of!"

"Thanks." Ashley drawled, glancing back at the timer – fifteen minutes; there was no way they were making it out of here. When she turned back to face her Shepard was also looking at the timer, her face stricken and white as it dawned on her how little time they had left.

"I guess this is it Commander." Ashley breathed. Shepard made to speak – her blue eyes filing with determination when the sound of an explosion behind them made them both flinch.

Ashley whipped her head around to see what this new threat was but was surprised to find an Alliance shuttle crashing its way through a pile of Geth that had been about to flank them unawares. It skidded to a halt with a piercing screech of metal grinding against rock and remained there, derelict a few feet in front of them to the left.

Ashley was waiting for the hatch to open and time slowed in anticipation. The doors across the plaza opened and Geth continued to pour in from all sides and still the shuttle remained closed. With a look to the side she could see that Shepard was watching the encroaching numbers of Geth, trying to assess the best plan of attack with a fearless determination.

"Starting to regret this yet Shepard?" She asked painting her best grin to her lips but it never reached her eyes.

There had to be an out somewhere.

Why couldn't Shepard have left her to her fate? Now the Commander was going to die here needlessly.

The look of determination and grit on Shepard's face spoke volumes, telling Ashley that she hadn't given up the fight yet. The blazing blue aura sprang up around Shepard again and she rose, firing off wave after wave of biotic energy into the inexorable Geth assault and Ashley could only watch In horror as the mechanical aliens were ripped apart in the face of Shepard's power only to be replaced instantly by more Geth troops, the barrels of their rifles flashing a sinister red as they returned fire.

Shepard took cover again and Ashley could see the exertion on her features as sweat ran freely down her face. She gulped for air, as though she had been underwater the whole time.

"Ashley-" Shepard began but was interrupted by the churning _whoosh _of the nearby shuttle hatch sliding open.

From inside smoke billowed out of the doors; grey waves turned red by the warning lights blinking rapidly inside. Ashley held her breath, expecting a soldier to drop out the door badly wounded – just what they needed right now!

Instead a tall figure clad in heavy armour rushed out of the open doorway and charged straight past them barrelling into the nearest pack of Geth. Ashley could only watch in awe as the stranger became a frenzy of death.

Gauntleted fists smashed into the Geth ranks and forced them back, one after another, shattering under the weight of each hard blow. Overhead lightning cracked, illuminating the sky as Ashley watched the scene unfold before them. The brilliant flash of light was reflected in the shining silver plates that reinforced the strangers protective black under weave; he moved through the throng of Geth the flash of his pistol blazing brightly even through the driving rain.

The front line fell back and the onslaught slowed to a halt as the Geth line began to reform. The stranger took this as his opportunity to retreat and fell back to where Ashley and Shepard had taken cover.

He did not take cover for himself though, instead seeming to tower above them in a shining splendour that reminded Ashley of pictures she had seen of Knights from Earth's history. His voice was muffled by the full-face helmet he wore which was also silver like the plating on his armour. There was a slit in the visor where she could see intense blue-green eyes burning from inside. Then the mysterious stranger placed one hand on his hip and raised his pistol into a heroic pose.

"Saving damsels in distress" the tone was full of mirth and joviality to Ashleys surprise. Who was this guy?

"Just what I do best!"

A hail of gunfire came dangerously close, one round evaporating inches from the strangers chest as his armour's shielding system took a hit. This seemed to drive home to the stranger the immediate danger he was in and as he brought his free hand up an Omni-Tool sprang into life.

Blue-green eyes sparkled from inside the visor now and Ashley could have sworn the man inside was smiling. Smiling! At a time like this!

The Omni-Tool widened and flattened and at first Ashley wasn't sure of what she was seeing, but to her amazement the Omni-Tool spread out into a large protective shield that was at least 5 foot long, stretching to cover most of the strangers body.

He casually used it to deflect a barrage of rounds and Ashley looked around for long enough to note that the Geth were almost right on top of them now. The stranger's voice drew her attention back from their impending doom

"You ladies wait here, I'll do the honours!" and with that he charged into the pack once more.

Ashley couldn't believe what she was seeing as the man waded into the thick of the onslaught, his protective shield whirling around in perpetual motion as the man attacked and defended simultaneously.

The shield blocked a wild swing by a nearby Geth trooper and the stranger dropped to one knee as he raised his pistol and jammed it point blank into the troopers face.

His Omni-Shield lashed out to the side crunching with sickening force into the next Geth Trooper, sending it reeling back into others, taking down a large pile as its circuitry began to overload – the electrical spike jumping from one metal body to the next.

With a deadly jerk of his arm, the stranger used his pistol to punch right through the weaker circuitry wires in a nearby Geth's shoulder. The pistol guided the helpless Geth trooper attached to it in front of him as a protective barrier while he continued his assault, his body a wave of deadly force as his plated boot found the chest of another Trooper forcing it back.

A pistol round discharged with an audible boom as the Trooper stuck to the muzzle incinerated into nothing.

The stranger barged the carcass out of the way and dropped to one knee again as the pile of Geth that had collapsed around him exploded in a heap of deadly metal. The shrapnel exploded in a wide swath of destruction as Geth parts annihilated their synthetic comrades. The strangers shield protected him from taking any damage and when the blasts ceased he stood from the smoking scrapheap that formed a circle around him.

Still the Geth came from doors to the side and Ashley wondered how much longer the stranger could continue to fight. Every part of her willed her to leap into the fray to lend a hand but the man was a one man wrecking crew. If she tried to help she might well get them both killed, and she'd caused enough trouble for one day.

She sat back and watched in a state of near reverence as his shield continued to demolish Geth at every turn. Then suddenly it winked out and the figure dove into a tight combat roll to avoid a hail of gunfire.

The evasive manoeuvre took him back to their position and this time he did crouch into cover alongside Ashley and Shepard. Ashley looked over and noted for the first time a look of intense scrutiny on Shepard's face. What was that all about?

The stranger tapped a button on his wrist and his helmet peeled back from the visor, disappearing into the neck of his suit in two fluid movements.

Though the man was sweating freely, Ashley noted with approval that their saviour was…well….hot! Dark brown hair combed to one side topped a powerful face. The man's stubbled square jaw and strong chin framed a face full of handsome features. His blue-green eyes sparkled with amusement which was mirrored by the grin on his face which flashed a set of perfect pearly whites. The dimples at the corners of his mouth sealed the deal for Ashley.

'_If this is the last sight I see before I die, then I'll die happy_' she thought with grim humour.

She looked at Shepard to confirm the mans' hotness but the look on Shepard's face was one of thunderous intent. The fury there was plain for all to see and it startled Ashley. What was with her? Hadn't his guy come to help them? If he saw the look on her face he did a good job of ignoring it as the smile in his eyes continued.

"If you are quite done enjoying the show, I think it's about time we got out of here." He gestured to his shuttle.

"If you please ladies, your carriage awaits." He did not wait for a reply though and reared up from their hiding place to fire some covering rounds into the approaching Geth lines.

His Omni-Tool flared into life again and Ashley wondered if he would get back in the thick of it, but he tapped the interface idly for a moment and then raised a clenched fist to their enemies.

Through the rain and her suit she could feel the air freeze around her as a blast of cold air sent a shiver down her spine. Waves of frozen particles erupted from the strangers Omni-Tool in a cone of destruction that froze everything it touched. Geth troops were flash frozen instantly and the rain that poured from the sky turned to sleet as it entered the frozen mist.

Behind the frontline the surviving Geth shattered their comrades as they continued their inexorable approach.

It had bought them enough time to make a dash for the shuttle though and Ashley felt strong arms propping her up, almost pulling her off the ground as they ran for the Shuttle door.

Thermal energy peppered the air around them as the nearest Geth began firing off rounds in a futile attempt to stop them but before any bolts could hit them they were safely under the cover of the ship.

The stranger helped her gently to the floor and brushed past Shepard as he stood, making his way towards the cockpit. Shepard's eyes still blazed with intense fury but she moved towards Ashley and placed a hand gently on her shoulder.

"You alright Chief?" she asked worriedly.

"Yeah, commander, I'm fine." She said in reply as she tested her joints and muscles for bruises. Abigail nodded in approval and made to rise but Ashley's hand stopped her.

"Shepard what the hell just happened? Who _is_ that guy who just pulled our asses out of the fire? And why do you look so pissed off?" she demanded. She had the right to some answers.

"That" Shepard almost spat the word out as she turned her gaze to the cockpit "Is Hobbs. And why I'm pissed off? Is a long story" she relaxed with an audible sigh, and some of the anger left her voice.

"But you're right. He _did _just save us."

Taking a deep breath she moved toward the cockpit, leaving Ashley to gather her thoughts.

-x—O—x-

"_Shepard." _

_Anderson's voice cuts through my train of thought and I stop reading to raise my eyes and find him standing in the doorway to my room. He stands there, looking at me expectantly and with a jerk I realise he is waiting for me to speak._

"_Come in." I say, unsure and he gives me a polite smile stepping over the threshold, taking the time to glance around my room as he lets that soldier's guard down slowly. I watch him, I find him interesting, and eventually his eyes come back to mine – jet black almost under the strip light of my room – and he moves to sit on the chair next to my bed._

"_So, I've been keeping my eye on you." He says, his voice carrying that same rich tone that I remember from last time we talked. "Matron says you have been behaving better. Even getting along with your peers."_

"_Yeah." I say, trying not to look pleased – but I feel it, deep and glowing inside. "I didn't think you would show up." I say honestly and he looks at me, his brow furrowing. _

"_I always keep my promises Shepard." He says sincerely and with that he reaches into his pocket and pulls a chain free – dog tags I realise – and hands them to me. "These were your father's when he enlisted." Anderson said with a smile "It was no easy feat getting a hold of them, but lucky for you I have friends in high places."_

_I take the chain from his extended hand, feel the tags between my fingers, press the pad of my thumb over my father's name. My name. _

_Anderson says nothing and somehow that makes me like him even more. He doesn't try to interpret what I'm thinking or feeling, doesn't try to analyse or sympathise, he's just… there. _

_I look to him and he offers me a small smile "It would have made him proud to see you get your own set." He says but there is no pressure behind the statement, it simply hangs between us, comfortably in the silence._

"_So I was thinking of overseeing your training myself." He says at last "What would you think of that?"_

_I blink, looking at him seriously "You can do that?"_

_He gives me a small nod "I can. It would mean you would live here – but you would train with my squad. Handpicked Shepard, best of the best and I want you on it."_

_I frown, suddenly suspicious "Who else is on it?"_

"_No one you know." He assured me "The boy you beat to a pulp was the squad leader, but he's graduated now, top in the class, gone on to the Military training now. He left quite a space to fill." He smiles at me, knowing he has me hook, line and sinker with the bait._

"_You feel up to the challenge?"_

-x—O—x-

Hobbs banked the shuttle right, the rain sluicing off the windscreen as they rocketed away from the Virmire facility and back up the coastline of Virmire. His muscles still pumped with the left over adrenaline, his head that giddy mix of focused and thankful that he had managed to pull off such an awesome rescue. Definitely one to regale the ladies with at a later time.

He pressed his foot to the floor, the engine howling in agony as the shuttle was pressed to its limit. Glancing in the console he could see the facility growing smaller and smaller in the distance behind them, but there was something else that drew his attention, something shaped like a man on some kind of .. his first thought was flying surfboard. Frowning he leaned into the console as it gained speed on their shuttle, the menacing glint of a gun catching the light as another bolt of lightning ripped through the sky.

"Huh…" He muttered just as Shepard came up behind him, "Is that pissed off Turian after you or me?" He asked, glancing back at her. She met his playful smile with a hard one, her blue gunmetal eyes giving him that quick, dismissive once over he had so missed. She leaned forward, over his shoulder, all the right places pressing into him as he fought to keep his focus on the driving.

"That would be me, this time." She said guardedly "Not everyone is a fan of you Hobbs." She glanced back "Do you have a gun on this thing?"

"You want to shoot him down?" Hobbs asked, he shook his head "Not that kind of shuttle my dear." He jerked the steering just in time to avoid a hail of rounds from the Turian behind them. "Unless you want to hang out the door – our best bet is to outr-"

As the words left his lips there was an almighty explosion, one that drowned out the last of his sentence as the very air around them lit up in a brilliant flash – so white and blinding he lost sight of where he was going as the winds rocked and shook the shuttle out of his control. Gritting his teeth he slammed on the emergency autopilot, hoping the sensors could do a better job than himself, but the shuttle continued to bank and buck wildly as the temperature inside spiked.

"Hobbs!" He heard Shepard scream and glanced back to see her gripping wildly to the handrail. Ashley was buckled in, reaching for her to pull her back into the safety of a seat, but she was restricted by the emergency barriers that came over her shoulders, she couldn't reach her.

With a sudden stab of panic he unbuckled himself, launching toward Shepard and pulling her to the floor of the shuttle with him, gathering her in his arms he curled around her protectively as they bounced and slid on the metal.

He felt his head crack off the wall and grunting he activated his omnitool – the orange glow illuminating Shepard's features in the near darkness; she had a gash at the side of her temple, her eyes closed she rocked limply against him.

Pulling up that shield once more he pulled it over them both as the Shuttle whined, impacting the ground and bouncing a few feet before darkness enveloped him.

-x—O—x-

When Shepard's eyes opened she couldn't see a thing; just encroaching blackness, burned red then black, red then black. Outside she could hear the persistent hammering of the rain, the rumble of thunder and she suddenly remembered the events that had brought her here. Virmire. Saren. She sucked in a breath; her chest constricted by the weight of an arm over her and let her senses come back to her slowly.

She could smell smoke, burning acrid at the back of her throat and struggled to get up. Pushing the arm off her she wriggled free, toward the glowing red light on the dash.

Slamming her hand on the emergency release button the hatch door popped open with a grinding crunch and screech of metal. There was a rush of fresh air, caressing her skin as the sudden light – although dull – made her squint painfully as she got the first glimpse of where they had landed.

There was sand, which was a good sign, and slowly, painfully she crawled to the open door trembling from a mix of shock and the sharp, cold wind now buffeting inside the wrecked shuttle.

"Tempy." Came a groggy male voice and she turned back, glancing Hobbs pushing himself to his knees. His nose was bloodied, but otherwise he seemed unharmed, shaking his head, once hard, as his eyes widened trying to gain focus once more. "I see your driving hasn't improved." He muttered, a smile stealing at his lips.

"You were driving." She groaned, pushing herself to all fours "This time it wasn't me Hobbs."

"Yeah, but when I retell this," He countered "_you_ will be driving." He smiled playfully, moving over to where Ashley sat, still buckled in, her head tilted to one side. He pressed fingers to her throat and Shepard held her breath momentarily watching his concentrated features.

"She's alive." He said at last, undoing the emergency belts and catching her limp body as it fell forward into his arms. "Let's get her laid down, then you two wait here. I'll see if I can get a signal outside, patch into the Normandy's comms and get them to come and collect us."

"Wait." Shepard said, helping him lay Ashley on the shuttle floor carefully "Where the hell did you come from Hobbs?"

"Now Tempy?" He asked, his eyebrows raising to accentuate his point.

"Now." She said firmly, suspicious. Hobbs was no regular marine, his being here could not be an accident or coincidence – and if someone had sent him after her she wanted to know why. And who.

"We were ordered to do recon on the mission here." He said vaguely "We were listening in to the Normandy's comm when we heard your transmission about going back. I took an executive decision to lend a hand, seeing the number of geth drop ships that were coming your way. You weren't hard to find; as always Tempy, wherever you go things seem to explode."

She ignored the extension of friendship eyeing him warily when Ashley suddenly gasped for breath, her hands coming out in front of her and grabbing for nothing. Shepard caught her fingers, gripping her hands in her own to calm her to sense, but instead the gunnery chief let out a wail of agony, her scream tapering to a gargle as blood began to pool at the corners of her mouth.

"Ashley!" Shepard screamed, and for the first time she noticed the wound in Ashley's side. The floor was already slick with her blood. "Hobbs, do you have medigel?" She asked urgently, looking to see the operative had also noticed the wound. His eyes met hers and she hated what she saw there – that sympathetic warning; she rebelled against, slammed the door shut on it – she would not let Ashley die here. Not like this.

He shook his head grimly "I don't carry medigel." He said "I'm going to hail the Normandy." He got to his feet swiftly, ducking under the protruding, damaged door of the shuttle and out into the rain beyond. Shepard's own comm crackled weakly as a connection was made, but she heard nothing – the system in her suit was obviously damaged.

"Just hold on Ashley." She said urgently, leaning over her friend as she trembled violently. She gripped her hands, Ashley's fingers laced through her own as she tried to steady them, to pull her friend back to a sense of calm "The Normandy's en route." She added, giving her a small smile "It's going to be alright."

"Sh-Sh-Shepard…" She rasped, her hands gripping and releasing as she fought to keep herself still "Thought you had pulled a miracle…" She shook her head "I'm not getting back… am I c-commander?."

Shepard shook her head firmly, grinding her teeth together as she fought back tears "Stop talking like that Williams." She chewed out, taking a sharp breath through her nose "You sound like a pussy."

Despite the obvious pain she was in Ashley chuckled breathlessly, gripping Shepards hands tightly as she swallowed "I'm… sorry." She said, holding Abigail's eyes as she tried to gain some kind of composure to speak "I let y-you down."

Shepard pressed to her, willing her strength to her "Just hold on Chief." She begged, knowing that in that moment she would bargain with anyone if they could give Ashley a few more minutes. "You're going to be fine." She insisted desperately.

Ashley dropped her eyes to the wound in her side, shaking uncontrollably as she began to cry "That's too much blood." She gasped, her voice cracking as her tears sank into her tone. "It's too much."

Tears streamed down Ashley's cheeks as she turned her dark eyes back to Abigail "What's happening?" She asked, her voice paper thin and so small against the roar of the thunder outside the shuttle. She gulped for air, as though she was underwater, and Shepard ground her teeth to keep her own tears at bay.

"Please Ashley…" She cried, the tears spilling over her lashes regardless "Please Ash, don't go."

Ashley blinked, the colour draining from her face suddenly and she relaxed a little, her eyes growing heavier "What's happening?" She asked again and Shepard shook her head, gripping her hands desperately.

"Tempy," Hobbs cut in. Shepard flinched, she hadn't seen him come back inside; he looked to her sombrely "The Normandy is en route, but it's 15 minutes out." He dropped his voice as he added "She doesn't have 15 minutes Shepard."

She blinked at him, shaking her head, unable to comprehend what he was saying to her. That she was going to lose her best friend? Her sister? She was going to lose her here, now, in this wrecked shuttle and there was nothing she could do about it? She was Commander Shepard – she didn't wait for miracles, she made them happen.

She shook her head, her vision blurring with fresh tears as he moved to kneel next to Ashley's head. "You're dying." He said to her and Ashley looked up at him in horror, her eyes widening in panic before he shushed her gently "It's alright." He said, his voice was gentle; warm and coaxing, and as Shepard watched Ashley calmed a little, listening to his tone and his words.

"Think of all the good things." He said gently "Think of your time with Shepard and your friends." He paused deliberately letting her take that in "It'll start to get warm." He whispered "It'll just be like falling asleep, nice and safe. Think of a time you felt safe falling asleep." As he spoke her trembling died away, the grip on Shepard's hands still as strong as before.

"Think of the good things." He repeated and slowly Ashley nodded.

"Who are you thinking about now?" He asked gently and Ashley looked to Shepard, her eyes welling with tears as she smiled brokenly at her friend.

"Joker." She whispered her voice barely there anymore.

Shepard felt tears spill over her lashes but she would not let herself sob; instead she gripped her friend's hands, showing nothing but pride in her marine – nothing but pride in her courage. The same courage she had seen countless times in battle; the same courage she herself had borrowed when she felt like the world was collapsing in.

She knew if she tried to speak she would wail and so instead gave her a tight smile, her eyes bright with tears as she nodded her acknowledgement.

Ashley's eyes drifted closed, the time between blinks became longer, and she sighed gently as the trembling ceased altogether.

"I'm coming." She said softly, and Hobbs pressed a hand to her shoulder.

"Who are you talking to Ashley?" He asked, holding her shoulder "Who's there with you?"

The reply was so small and thin Shepard had to strain to hear it "My dad." She breathed raggedly.

"Go to him." Shepard blurted, her voice cracking painfully as she felt Ashley's grip on her fingers fail "Go to him Ashley, I'll see you again."

Hobbs waited a moment longer, before sitting back, glancing to Shepard with his sharp eyes. "She's gone." He said slowly, but Shepard barely heard him. Gently he took Ashley's hands from her own and moved to sit behind Shepard, pulling her gently back into him.

At last, in the bulk of his arms she turned her face away from the body of her friend and allowed herself that moment of weakness.

Curling into the protective frame of Hobbs she opened the floodgates of grief and shock, letting all her emotions pour out to crash against this man who had always been a rock.

He spoke gently to her but she couldn't hear a word he was saying – the noise in her head was far too loud and raged with the pulse of her hot blood. Somehow something terrible had happened, and it was all her fault.

Suddenly there was a crack in her world.


	12. Chapter 12

Title: Virmire Part Twelve  
Author: DinkyMew  
Game: Mass Effect (One)  
Disclaimer: Bioware owns all content and characters related to the Mass Effect franchise. Abigail Shepard is my own creation inspired by the character of Jane Shepard created by Bioware. All original characters contained herein are my own creations and are not necessarily affiliated with Bioware. The story may deviate from the original games and for this I ask your forgiveness, any liberties taken with the storyline are for entertainment purposes and not to offend. **You may not copy, distribute, edit this fanfiction as it stands without my expressed permission, thank you**  
Characters Featured: Abigail Shepard (F); Kaidan Alenko (M); Garrus Vakarian (M); Jeff 'Joker' Moreau (M); Original Character Argyle Hobbins 'Hobbs' (M);

Kaidan was only semi-aware of Garrus' presence as they strode down the ramp-way of the Normandy back onto the beaches of Virmire. The rain had died down to a light drizzle, the sky still overcast and rumbling, but it was distant now – against the frantic beating of his heart it was so incredibly faint.

Ahead he could see the wrecked shuttle where the emergency signal was coming from; it had crashed against rocks, the nose half buried in the scorched sand, fragments of metal and glass leaving a wide trail about 7 feet long showing the vehicles crash trajectory. They were lucky to be alive at all.

He glanced to Garrus who looked equally surprised and concerned about the extent of the wreck and the Turian picked up his pace. Kaidan set his face grimly, knowing full well what lay ahead – the report relayed back from this mysterious operative had been detailed if brief. He kept step with Garrus, pausing as they reached the shuttle and the Turian stepped back allowing Kaidan to peer inside first.

He didn't even have to look inside before he saw Ashley, her face still, her eyes closed and sunken. She looked incredibly peaceful, her face marred with dirt and blood. He dropped to his knees to check her pulse; somehow hoping that the operative had been wrong; or mistaken; or that by some miracle his touch could will life back into her.

There was nothing there, her skin was ice cold.

He raised his eyes, movement catching his attention to the left, and saw the operative – or what he assumed had been the man that contacted the Normandy. His intense turquoise eyes watched Kaidan unwavering as he swallowed – his throat too dry to speak. It was then he saw Shepard, curled against the man, she was clinging to his frame and he was rocking her like a child.

"It's alright Tempy." The man whispered "Your crew's here now."

Kaidan didn't mean to flinch at the name – one that both confused and startled him at once. She _knew _this guy, whoever he was; the simple nickname suggested there was a richer history than Kaidan was aware of. Somehow in her state of shock Shepard glanced around, her gaze coming to Kaidan's slowly, and then as though realising what she was doing she jerked away from the operative. A little too quickly for it to be comfortable.

"Kaidan." She breathed, wiping at her tear stained face. Her blue eyes were lost and red rimmed, she didn't say anything else. She didn't have to.

"Commander." He said stiffly "The Normandy's touched down. Dr Chakwas is waiting in the medbay to examine you."

He retreated out of the wreck, the smoke and the smell of death making his chest tighten painfully. Or at least that is what he was telling himself. Numbly he ran a hand through his hair, unwilling to give the order he knew he had to.

Reluctantly he turned back to Garrus, nodding grimly and the Turian pressed the earpiece of his sniper visor.

"We're going to need that stretcher Joker." He said soberly "Ashley's gone."

There was a long pause before the pilot answered "A-alright." He said.

Kaidan turned to look back to the Normandy waiting, when the operative moved out of the wreck, his eyes scanning the terrain defensively before offering a hand to Garrus.

"Hobbs." He said, his accent was Scottish, thick and somehow friendly despite the circumstances.

"Garrus Vakarian." The Turian gave him a polite nod taking his hand awkwardly and then he turned to Kaidan with the same gesture.

"Staff Lieutenant Alenko." He said politely taking the man's hand briefly. It was a firm shake, and when he let go Hobbs immediately turned back to the wreckage, his head and shoulder disappearing inside. When he emerged he had Shepard's hand, guiding her slowly from the crashed shuttle. She stumbled as he drew her out into the daylight and for the first time Kaidan could see how white she was – whether from shock or blood loss he couldn't be sure.

All he knew was that he wanted to run to her in that second, to grab her into his arms and hold her against him knowing she was alive and safe. The fifteen minutes between the explosion of the facility and their contact from the operative had been the longest fifteen minutes of his life. He wanted nothing more than to kiss her; tell her he was so thankful she was alive, that everything was going to be alright, that he would never lose her like that again.

But he didn't.

It took every fibre of his being, but Kaidan didn't move a muscle, watching her as she pressed a hand to her forehead, looking out to the horizon and then back to the Normandy.

Hobbs made to touch her shoulder and she slapped his hand away, stepping past him instead. She strode toward the Normandy, her hands curling to fists at her side as she passed by Kaidan. She glanced his way, her blue eyes cold and lost but she didn't say anything, barely even looked at him as she pressed forward.

As he watched her retreating figure he could see two petty officers coming down the ramp-way with the stretcher, but his focus was on Abigail as she walked, her head held high – her dark hair billowing out behind her in the wind.

It was going to be a long journey back to Earth.

Abigail Shepard was staring at the blinking light of her console not so much thinking as she was feeling. Stripped down to nothing but her grey racerback top and briefs she was sat back in her desk-chair, one leg pulled up into her chest for her to lean her chin on, the other tucked under her. Somewhere inside she knew she should at least read those messages, but she couldn't bring herself to open them.

Stiffly she brought the glass she held in one hand to her lips, the brandy burning feeling into her throat as she took a tentative drink. She dropped her hand, the glass dangling at her fingertips as she took a deep breath, filling her lungs as far as they would go. Stretching she sat the glass on her desk next to her console, the amber liquid catching the light from the screen and glinting seductively. She grimaced at the memories it dragged from her depths, ones she had long ago buried.

"_I feel like I'm sixty years old." Catherine complains, wedging herself onto a stool at the bar next to me. I glance at her sideways, offering her a sympathetic smile._

_We're all feeling the aftereffects of the graduation ceremony; Blue Horizon likes to send its students off in style, complete with a gruelling array of tests for biotics and martial skills alike. Rumour has it Blue Horizon rivals the rigorous training available at N-school – the pinnacle of my desire. To be the best you really have to have gone through N-School and survived._

_I'm content with having graduated first in my peer group though; that achievement hangs comfortably on me tonight as we all try and relax into our graduation party and not feel apprehensive about what tomorrow means for most of us: Our first day in the Alliance Military._

_The club chosen sits in the heart of Arcturus' 'L.A' district. So called because it is supposedly similar enough to Earthen cities you would be hard pressed to notice a difference. The first I noticed was the expansive space view out the window, but I don't want to be a stickler for the details. _

_In true celebratory fashion the director of Blue Horizon has offered to open a tab at the bar for all graduating students, and as I glance around the packed club it looks as though they are taking full advantage of that privilege. A few of the boys I recognise have hooked some local ladies, bumping and grinding in the low lights to the music. _

_I feel that familiar twinge of loneliness and swallow it down – focusing once again on my job, my career, like I have done the last three years I have been at Blue Horizon. I think of that illusive boy again, the one who had been there the day of my arrival – the one who had stopped me blowing myself and my room to pieces when I had no control over my biotics. I smile grimly; I even thought it was a disease to be cured back then. That boy has gone on to an impressive military career, climbing ranks quicker than I can put together an assault rifle. I hold him in high regard; I want to be that successful once I join. _

_Catherine is right, it does make you feel old even though I just turned nineteen last week. _

"_Did you catch Dwayne during hand to hand?" Catherine sighs, rolling her eyes, pulling me back to the present "If only there weren't rules about bedding fellow trainees." _

_I'm about to answer when an arm reaches over my head, cutting in between us and placing a glass in front of me. I blink, affronted, looking first to the glass of amber liquid and then to its vessel of delivery. _

_It is a surprisingly large vessel – all muscle and tight shirt and chiselled jaw. His eyes are jet black under the low lighting and he grins at me in what I think is supposed to be seduction, but looks like a leer from a creep instead. I don't recognise him as a student – which means he must be a local in the club we chose to go to. _

"_Couldn't help but notice you were sitting here alone." He says pressing his bulk deliberately between me and Catherine. I see her glance over the bulge of his back, nodding emphatically and signalling that she's going to leave us alone. I paint horror to my eyes, but she must miss it, because she gives me a hearty thumbs up and slides a little further down the bar leaving me to this monster._

_I curl my lip, pressing a finger to my temple as I look again at the glass. "I am now." I say, unable to keep the strain from my voice. _

"_You look a little tired." He says, nudging the glass toward me "I think what you are needing is some vitamin me." _

_I raise my head from my finger, fixing him with a glare and he smiles, lifting his own glass to his lips._

"_My name's Greg," He says, pouring back his drink in one "How are you liking me so far?"_

_I make to answer – to tell him exactly what I think of him so far – when another arm comes into view from my left this time, another drink being placed in front of me. I spin to this latest intruder ready to give them both a piece of my mind when I'm met with the most intense, surreal blue-green eyes I have ever seen. _

_I pause._

"_There you go honey." The newcomer says, giving me an affectionate smile; open and friendly in his ruggedly handsome face. In the same instant he peers beyond me to Greg – the other man apparently getting the message and I feel him move away as the newcomer gets comfortable on the stool next to me. It was a ruse, a trick to get the other man to leave and I blink confused as to whether I should be grateful to this newcomer or give him a piece of my mind anyway. _

_When he's sure that Greg is gone he leans into me "Sorry," He smiles "I just hate to see apes like that ruin what can be an art." _

_I want to tell him to get lost; but the line has me intrigued "An art?" I ask curiously, furrowing my brow as I try to work out what he is talking about._

"_The art of seduction." He clarifies "When it's done right, can be quite a thing to behold. And I, lovely lady, am a master." His voice is rich and soft and deep – a Scottish accent colouring his words to gold._

"_Oh really?" I ask dubiously, raising an eyebrow at him "And how does one engage in the act of seduction?"_

"_Oh," He smiles, leaning back in his stool I can see his eyes twinkle mischievously against the low light of the club "That would be telling." _

_I give him a once over, he looks casual despite the fact his shirt is designer, the tag on the cuff only just discernible in the dim of the club. A dimpled smile against a strong jawline sets a strange flutter in my chest like looking down from a great height and his eyes hold my own in a way I've never felt before. They are so full of warmth and mirth. _

_And secrets. _

_He lazily lifts his glass to his full lips and drains some of the liquid from within. I lift the glass he brought for me and I take a drink as well. The liquid sets a fire to my throat as it goes down but I don't let it show on my face._

"_Besides" I hear him say as I look up from the glass "I don't think you could handle me." _

_He says it so matter of factly that it seems like a casual aside but I can see the challenge in his eyes as his smile draws wider. I can see by his amusement that he thinks he has me where he wants me and I know with a strange, overriding certainty that if I keep speaking to this man he will bring me nothing but trouble. _

_But I'd be damned if I backed away from a challenge. _

_I laugh long and heartily, gazing at him through long lashes. Two could play at that game. When I say nothing but continue to look at him he takes it as a sign to go on._

"_First." He says casually, pointedly avoiding my gaze. "You have to wait for an opportune moment" he swirls the remaining liquid around his glass and looks at me again. I can feel a burning in my cheeks but I'm not going to be some dainty little thing to be won over so easily._

"_For example, when you see a man failing to woo a woman who has not simply left the room." He gestures with his hand as if to signal myself "This tells you that said lady wants to be woo'ed, but she's waiting for the right person." The words startle me and for a moment it sets my mind to thinking. Was he right? Why didn't I just get up and leave? I don't want to be woo'ed, I tell myself. I just don't want to leave Catherine here alone. I am suitably justified but before I can voice my defence he carries on regardless._

"_Second, and this is the most important. Before any conversation can begin, you have to seal it with 'the look'." He announces so confidently that I find myself curious._

"_The look?" I ask._

"_The look." He confirms, that annoying gleam in his eye threatening to drag me in. _

"_Well I don't think you did a very good job then because I never noticed 'the look'." I announce proudly and I have him on that one. I smile brilliantly but his stare is unwavering and he lets out a deep chuckle, the sound genuine and dulcet. _

"_My dear lady, I never gave you the look. As I told you, I don't think you can handle the look." The challenge in the tone of his voice is evident now and it irks me. Why is he being so dismissive? I take a longer drink of the brandy and suppress the burning sensation._

"_I can handle the look" I say a little too loud and surprise myself with the aggression I feel. If he is surprised he shows no signs of it however and stands from his chair. He drains his brandy and runs a hand casually through his dark brown hair to keep it tousled and spiky. _

"_Alright then" he says conversationally "Prepare yourself for 'the look.'"_

_He turns his face away from me for a moment and I am left to look at the back of his head. _

_I notice with a raise of my eyebrows the muscles in his neck and shoulders and wonder absently as to what lies beneath before my attention is garnered once again by the turning of his head. _

_He looks at me now with an overly-elaborate pout on his face, his smouldering eyes glittering like blue green gems. His eyes encapsulate me all at once and I can feel them devouring me. I am taken aback by the intensity there but I am disarmed by his comical pose. _

_I feel the laugh starting in my gut and am helpless as it rumbles through my chest and erupts out of my mouth, full and sincere. His pose is so ridiculous that I cannot stop myself from laughing endlessly. Tears form in my eyes and I wipe them away in moments between holding my ribcage. I am laughing so much it begins to hurt and I can hear the sound of his laughter rippling in time with my own. _

_When I regain my senses and the laughter finally dies down I look upon him with a new perspective. Humour was the last thing I had been expecting and it was such an unexpected refreshment that I have to appraise him anew. _

"_See, I don't even need to ask to know that look _definitely_ did it for you" he chuckles aloud and I join him in the laughter._

"_Oh, definitely!" I proclaim, my voice thick with humorous sarcasm, and I encourage the joke. By this time I've completely forgotten about Catherine who has been standing at the bar alone watching our conversation with longing eyes. _

"_And then you would go on to shower the lady in compliments, telling her how beautiful she is and how extraordinary she is, making her feel special and wanted right?" I ask leaning back in my chair to invite the wave of compliments that I wholly expect will follow._

"_Nope." The simplicity of it surprises me and I don't know what to say next._

"_Not with you." He says confidently "A lady like yourself will have heard every tired line in the book by now; such is beauty's curse." The passion in his eyes as they look into mine threatens to turn my legs to water as I stand._

"_I would make a fool of myself all night long to hear the sweet sound of your laugh. And I would ask you questions, to get to know you better and I would hang on every one of your words until the night ended." He pauses for a moment and then stands abruptly_

"_Alas, my dear my night has come to an end. If I could stay with you for the rest of the night I would, basking in the radiant glow of your wondrous beauty" he says with a flourish and a grin as he takes my hand in his, the warmth of his own a stark contrast to the natural coolness of mine. He is close to me now and his eyes consume me._

"_And when the night ended I would beg you not to go, to stay with me just a moment longer to prolong the inevitable pain from striking my heart as I watched you go." The air between us is thick and heavy with the intensity of his words and I am utterly lost in them for a moment._

"_But that will have to come another night." He raises my hand to his lips and kisses it gently, the short stubble of his 5 o'clock shadow tickling my hand in the process. I can only watch speechless as he withdraws into the night, stepping backwards through the crowd as his eyes stay focused on me throughout._

"_What's your name?" I splutter feeling like a foolish girl. I have to say something though._

"_Argyle" he replies in his lilting accent, and with that he was off into the night beyond. _

_Suddenly I can feel Catherine's breath on my neck as she comes to a halt behind me and her squeal threatens to deafen me. _

"_Who was that?!" she exclaims. The grin that spreads across her face like wildfire is annoying and I give myself a hard shake and a boot for good measure, returning my senses._

"_Some guy" I manage trying to keep my tone as uninterested as possible. My heart is racing though when I think about those intense eyes, about the softness of his lips on my hand._

"_Ooooo he is hot! If you're not interested can I have him?!" she exclaims loudly "I could do bad things to that man" the sultry tone of her voice makes me come to my senses fully at last and I laugh and playfully swipe a hand at her._

"_Come on, let's finish our drinks and get out of here. That's enough excitement for one night" we both laugh and return to our drinks, Catherine chattering away incessantly about the mystery man._

Shepard poured another brandy, the memory a painful one – _one of many spent and wasted on that man_, she thought bitterly. _How dare he show up after all this time, how dare he invade her life like this – just when things were starting to come together… just when… just…_

Downing the drink in one she slammed the glass back on her desk, pressing her forehead into her knee again. The look of approval on Ashley's face when she had first seen him back on Virmire was almost a mirror image to her own delight all those years ago in that club on Arcturus. Of course she would never let Ashley make the same mistakes she did – she would have told her friend to walk away and never give him a second glance.

Cringing against the pain that erupted in her chest Shepard closed her eyes as tears beckoned. She was supposed to be debriefing the crew – the reports had been sent to the council, but she had other duties, more pressing matters than wallowing in grief in her chambers, but for the life of her she did not have the strength to face them all yet.

On the back of that pain raged anger, like aftershocks, venomous anger that rippled through her. Anger at Hobbs and his damned ego; that ability he had to pull memories out of her that made her feel so damned vulnerable. Anger at Saren, at his facility on Virmire and the ultimate cost it had purged from her – a friend and a sister; another person in her life gone in the blink of an eye.

Another person that had died because of her.

Shakily she poured another glass of brandy; turning her eyes from that incessant message light. She felt herself curl inward, there was a reason you didn't let people in.

The minute you did was the minute you made yourself vulnerable.

She had broken her own vow and now she was paying the price in blood.

"Aye aye sir. I'll… I'll relay that message after she is finished with her meeting." Joker said, holding his breath as the Captain's breathing on the other end deepened with annoyance.

"Make sure you do." He rumbled "Anderson out."

The comm winked out of commission and finally Joker exhaled, knocking the tip of his cap with his finger as he plot a course for Earth on the star console.

"_Careful Joker, you might just start worrying about me." _

Her voice drifted from nowhere, carried on the hum of the engine, the monotonous clicks and bleeps of his many controls as he moved almost on autopilot. The worst thing was she had been right. From the moment she stepped from the cockpit Joker had felt like his heart was in his throat. But it was the risk they all took to serve – all of them willingly laid their life on the line the moment they stepped out of the Normandy on a mission.

"_There's so much to lose."_ She had said, and he could recall the look in her eyes, the words she was trying to say to him that he had ignored; too afraid to hope she could return what he already felt for her. What had he said? There was a lot to gain? He shook his head, he had been wrong. If gaining the upper hand on Saren came at this price it would always be too high.

That night they had spent together at Kaidan's apartment had been something remarkable for Joker. They had returned well in advance of the Commander and her love-sick lieutenant, having got a cab to pick them both up and drop them off. Once inside Ashley had immediately set about fixing them a drink – rescuing one or two bottles of wine from Kaidan's cooler.

The apartment was familiar to Joker, he had been there many times when he and Kaidan would stop over at the Citadel while training at Arcturus; but he had feigned ignorance, setting his feet on the coffee table and allowing Ashley to rummage through the belongings.

It hadn't taken long for things to get funny, then flirty and somewhere along the line they had taken the chance – fully aware that the Commander could have come in at any time, but she didn't and no matter what happened Joker would never regret it. He had stayed awake as Ashley had curled into him after, wondering if it meant as much to her as it had to him.

All this time he had been trying to work up the courage to ask her, all this time he had been trying to navigate his way around her quirkiness and her jokes to what was underneath – the sincerity – but he never had the courage to just… ask her.

And now he never would.

Pressing his hands to his face Joker felt the first hot tears start and fought to hold them back.

"Have you seen the Commander?" The voice was foreign, foreign enough he raised his head in surprise glancing to see the operative in the doorway. Embarrassed he wiped his face and nodded, clearing his throat carefully as he turned back to the monitors.

"She's in her quarters." He said thickly "She's… uh… she's asked not to be disturbed right now."

He expected the guy to leave, but he stood there a moment longer, his arms folded over a black t-shirt. At last he spoke and when he did Joker felt himself flinch a little.

"You're Joker right?" He asked, and the pilot nodded.

"Jeff. Moreau.." He said distractedly "Only my friends call me Joker."

"Hobbs." Hobbs said and Joker nodded in acknowledgment.

He wanted to ask more about this newcomer, but he was used to dignitaries being on the ship and keeping his nose out of their business. He found if he did that then he would usually find out more about them on his own.

The silence prolonged for a moment before Hobbs strode into the cockpit further and took Kaidan's seat, stretching back into it and resting his feet up on the console. Normally that would irritate Joker but right now he didn't care.

Neither man said anything and for a while they sat together in silence that Joker thought should have been more awkward. It felt comfortable somehow though. The only sound that passed between them was the mechanical hum of the console and the occasional beeping sound as the Normandy chirped and whirred. Joker's thoughts raced back to Ashley, the gleam in her eyes, the smile on her face when he told her a joke.

"Tell me about her" Hobbs said, his accent thick and warm. Was he a mind reader? He thought about rebuffing the man, telling him to mind his own business but the report said that Hobbs saved them initially, and he was trying to get them both out alive. That earned the man some respect.

"She was perfect." Joker spluttered and felt his cheeks turn red, feeling sheepish. When he looked up at Hobbs though there was no smile, no teasing look. He merely nodded sincerely in understanding.

"We weren't together for long, if you could even call it being together. I think she had a thing for Kaidan. But when she found out that he wasn't, y'know, interested, we hooked up. Her smile had a way of making everything right though. I loved her, but I never told her that." He sighed and felt all of the pent up emotion running out of him. Tears raced hot streaks down his face and he was unashamed.

"I don't care if she didn't feel the same way about me. She might have come to me on the rebound, might have thought of me as nothing more than a one night stand but if I had the chance to tell her I loved her I'd take it. I'd tell her she was amazing, and strong, and loving, and just…perfect."

"I think you just did." Hobbs said with feeling as he stared out of the viewport at the passing stars. He stood from the chair and made to leave. Joker was deflated now, but grateful that someone had been there to listen to him. He didn't think he could have said it to the other crew members without it being awkward.

"You should know." Hobbs said, stopping and placing a hand on his shoulder gently, it was warm and somehow comforting despite him not knowing the man at all "That Ashley spoke of you in her last moments." Hobbs said quietly

A jolt of shock passed through Joker. He'd read the official report which said nothing of that. _Of course it wouldn't_ he thought chastising. He paused and turned his head to look into the man's eyes. They were full of sincerity and genuine empathy – the emotion in his tone caught the pilot off guard as he blinked, unsure.

"She was thinking of you in those final moments Jeff. And she was smiling."

Joker turned away from him, gathering strength from that knowledge as he scrolled through a list of destinations "I told you." He said at last "My friends call me Joker." He paused as a comfortable silence passed between them.

"Thank you." He said, and he meant it.

Hobbs waited a moment, patting his shoulder before he left just as quickly as he had come.

Kaidan paced outside Shepard's quarters.

He wanted to go in and make sure she was alright, but something was holding him back. He didn't want to hazard a guess at what it was, he didn't want to think too much right now – it had a tendency to let in other thoughts, and right now all he could think about was Ashley. About the fact that if Shepard had chosen differently and went to get Ashley instead of him she could still have been alive and he could have been the one in the cold box in the medbay. Part of him, a large part, wanted it to be that way – and in conjunction another part didn't want to leave Shepard. The internal war was giving him a headache.

At last he sucked in a breath and approached the door, surprised to see it was unlocked as they opened on his approach.

Shepard was sitting at her desk, her forehead pressed to her knee, dark hair hanging so that he couldn't see her face, just her shape off the glow of her console monitor. Slowly she raised her head to look at him. He kept his eyes carefully schooled to her face, but he could see in the periphery of his vision she was barely dressed and the temptation to look was strong willed.

"Kaidan." She said, wrapping her fingers around a glass and bringing it to rest on top of her raised knee as she regarded him "Something wrong?"

The lieutenant hesitated before taking a step inside, the doors sliding closed behind him "I wanted to check you were… well." He cleared his throat "I wanted to see how you were doing Commander."

He was playing it careful, careful and controlled. Whatever had happened on Virmire between them still weighed heavily on his mind; but her behaviour since had been anything but telling and he wasn't a mind-reader, sadly, so safe was a good way to play it. She looked at him hard, the use of her title perhaps a little too formal? He couldn't tell as she ticked her mouth, her tongue clicking inside.

"Just peachy." She muttered, turning her face away from him, he wanted to move to her, but he anchored his feet to the ground. Breathing calmly as he watched her. She turned back to him – but he didn't miss the initial pause as she wiped her eyes free of the tears – and gave him an overly bright smile, there was no happiness in it though, only pain.

"Is that all?" She asked sharply, her eyes narrowing to slits as she took a drink from the glass she held.

He opened his mouth to speak, wondering what he could say to her. How he could break those barriers at a time like this, what magic sequence of words could he string together to unravel the layers she hid herself within.

He needed an opening, he needed to keep her talking; to stop her running for a minute, to hold her still and face what needed to be faced or lose her forever. He licked his lips, grasping for something they could talk about – something, anything.

"So," He swallowed "Who was the guy in the shuttle?" He asked. He knew the operative was called Hobbs, he had met him, but he needed an opening to get Shepard talking and this seemed like a valid one. Quite obviously she knew the man and could feel safe talking about him because she had the control there – she didn't have to give away any more than she had to.

"Hobbs." She said, her tone neutral and guarded. "Alliance military. He pulled us out of the fire back on Virmire." Through the dullness of her tone there was a fire to the way she said it.

"Alone?" he said incredulously. He thought about the man's demeanour, his towering presence like an unmovable wall. Even Kaidan had felt it. "How heroic" he muttered and could not keep the sarcasm from his voice. He must have been more vocal than he'd intended as Shepards eyes blazed into life.

"Are you kidding me?" She asked, her voice high and strained and so angry it took Kaidan aback "Look, Kaidan." She said directly, holding a hand up to stem any argument or explanation he felt coming on "I do not have time for your schoolboy jealousy – I just can't deal with this right now."

He could have kicked himself, but he kept his face carefully clear of emotion as he chewed over what she said; two things troubled him. Firstly her mention of jealousy indicated she obviously felt there was something there for him to be jealous of – a thought that disturbed him, either the embrace he had come upon in the shuttle was more than he had seen, or secondly that there was a deeper meaning intended, that Kaidan should feel threatened by the presence of this newcomer as a rival for her affections.

"I'm not jealous." He said hotly – his anger testament to the lie he felt burn the back of his throat as he spit it out. "I came to talk about Ashley." He said, hoping to turn the conversation back to what really mattered, but his tone hadn't changed and so rather than being comforting she took it as provocative, reaching forward to slam her glass on the table as she poured another drink.

"What about her?" She asked, the words grinding out through her teeth as she took another drink.

Kaidan paused, he had been unprepared for the question. Deflating a little he moved his shoulders, shaking his head "I just wanted to… ask…" He paused, the emotion of the moment overwhelming him as he struggled to keep temper and grief in check "Why did you come back for me first? You should have went to get Ashley, you should have got her out of there… it should have been me. Did you come back for me because… because of us?"

The moment he said it he knew it was a mistake and wished he could swallow it back – wished he could have been anywhere else other than here at this moment. It was too soon, they were both too raw and sensitive to be having this conversation.

"How dare you." She said, low and dangerous and deadly as she got to her feet, the glass in her hand caught the light off the monitor "You think I would put something that personal…" She broke off, shaking her head "You were the higher ranking officer," She ground out "protocol dictates I come for you first – how fucking dare you!"

Normally he was in full control of his temper but it flared wildly as his irritation at his own stupidity intertwined with his defensiveness in the face of Shepards wrath. It bubbled over and he could feel the rage coursing through him.

"I didn't come here to argue Shepard!" he exclaimed, throwing his hands up in exasperation. "And I didn't come here to talk about Hobbs! We're all hurting dammit! Don't be so selfish to think that you're the only one who cared about Ashley!" He blurted out the last, knowing it would cut her to her core and hating himself for it. This wasn't how he'd envisioned this conversation going but words kept spilling out of his mouth before his brain had time to filter them.

"What do you want from me Kaidan?!" She screamed, her hair coalescing around her shoulders as she spat furiously at him "I can't deal with this right now! You want me to tell you I wish you had been down there instead?! Would that make you feel better? Or maybe me? Huh? You wish it had been me instead?!" She sucked in a breath, trembling in anger as her eyes burned through him "I don't need two people in here telling me I made a mistake!" She cried "I don't need two people telling me I'm worthless!" She launched that glass at him, and by some miracle he managed to pull himself from his shocked stupor enough to dodge and it exploded against the wall behind him instead, showering the floor around him with tiny glass missiles.

"Get out!" She screamed, pointing a finger to the door behind him, but he could see her eyes were welling with tears and it gave him pause.

"Shepard…" He said, but she wasn't having it.

She stormed toward him, pausing before she reached him – perhaps worried she would strike him if she got too close. "Get out! Get out! Get fucking out!"

He was about to retreat, when the doors hissed open behind him. Turning he paused as Hobbs stood in the doorway, his eyebrows raised concerned.

"I… heard shouting?" He asked, looking from Kaidan to the Commander quietly.

Kaidan closed his eyes, swallowing hard as he glanced back to Shepard. She had her back to him, her hands in her hair and he knew then there was nothing else to be said right now. They needed time, and space.

"She's all yours." He said thickly, pushing past the operative as he stormed away from her, the temperature of their argument still blazing around him as he stalked toward the crew quarters.

Shepard heard Kaidan's words, feeling ashamed and dirty and callous. She raked her hands into her hair, gripping the long lengths and tugging against her scalp, the dull ache anchoring her thoughts as she struggled to regain some composure. She was losing it; unravelling at the seams and she felt like there was nothing she could do to stop it.

She turned to call him back, hesitating when she saw Hobbs in the doorway instead.

"What do you want?" She asked, her temper barely contained as she burned fury at him – this was all his fault; he should have left them alone – then she would have been forced to make Ashley evacuate leaving her behind distracting the Geth. But no, Hobbs insisted on playing the hero as usual.

"Alright Tempy," He said, the doors sliding closed behind him "Let's have it." He raised his chin a little, presenting a perfect target and something inside her snapped.

Striding to him she threw a punch, the blue hum of her biotics bursting to life around her. He blocked the first easily, following her hand with his own all the way back to her side, firmly, calculated.

"I had to make a choice!" She cried, throwing another blow at his face – he ducked, catching her elbow as it sailed round, using her momentum to turn her, to wrap her arms around herself and anchor them there with his own. He pressed his lips to her hair, holding her back against him as she struggled and fought against him.

"You did." He said calmly "You made the right choice Tempy. The only choice; it was either you got one out alive or neither; and you very nearly pulled off getting two out." She pulled his arms apart, slowly, grinding her teeth as they were pried open by her own. He redoubled his efforts, breathing heavily behind her as he fought to keep her in the submissive position.

"It was bad luck." He added, the strain in his voice evident as he struggled to keep a hold of her "Bad luck and… bad timing. Neither of which is your fault Shepard."

She broke free, wrenching from him, turning, panting heavily as she sized him up; that handsome face that had haunted her nights for so long, those piercing eyes that could see right through her no matter what she did.

She hesitated, the burning sensation sinking to her guts as she felt the overwhelming wave of grief raise its ugly head once more.

"There's more to your anger than that Shepard," He huffed, readjusting his t-shirt so it was comfortable on him once more "You've glared a hole through me since I arrived. That's not fair."

She was moving, moving too fast and furious before she even had time to process what was happening. This time when she hit him she didn't miss, the blow took him square in the face, knocking him back a few steps as he raised a hand to rub his jaw. She stumbled forward from the swing, her eyes blinded by tears as she at last heaved a great sob.

"Fair!" she yelled in his face. He stood unflinching, unwavering. "Not fucking fair! You left me Hobbs. You. Left. Me! And now you come waltzing back into my life like some damn hero, like I need a knight in shining armour. I was ready for it all Hobbs and you left! So you tell me what's fucking _fair_." She spat the last word out as her anger roiled boundlessly.

She seethed and railed as she let her emotions come bubbling to the surface. Her fists were clenched at her sides and it was only through the sheer power of will that she refrained from striking him. She braced herself for the outburst from Hobbs but he simply took a step back. For a moment he seemed stunned by her words. She wasn't expecting that.

"I'm sorry you feel that way Abigail." He stepped forward and the fragility in his voice was plain for all to see. The anger fled from her in an instant and the overwhelming emotion of the past few hours took hold. Her shoulders began to shake as she began a flood of involuntary tears as she stepped forward into his arms.

"I miss her so much." Shepard wept, pressing a hand to her chest, but at last she was thinking clearly - it was as though she could breathe again.

"I know you do." Hobbs said quietly "But you don't have the luxury of wallowing Commander. You have a ship to run and a crew that looks to you for guidance. They're falling apart and she wouldn't want her death doing this to you. You've had your time. Your crew need you. You've been pretty rough with them since I arrived" at the look on her face his tone lowered and softened "It's understandable Tempy, but they need you to be the Leader first, the woman second. You know it."

She closed her eyes, gripping his t-shirt in her fist as she brought her eyes to his "For the last time, will you stop calling me that." She said, her voice raw and painful from the crying and the screaming.

He smiled, sweeping the hair back of her face to plant a kiss on her forehead "I told you once I would only stop calling you it once you gained it."

Shepard shoved him back, but she felt he faint whisper of strength again as she wiped her eyes "I don't need temperance." She complained "I need a bloody retirement plan. And don't presume to think you can go kissing my head whenever the mood strikes you Hobbs. Things have changed." She didn't elaborate any further but he simply nodded to himself and took a step back.

"Of course. Think of it as nothing more than a comforting gesture." He said with a wave of the hand, his grin returning.

"And now if you'll excuse me, my stomach tells me its lunch time. I'll be out of your hair as soon as I've given my report to Shastri after the ceremony. If you need me for anything I'll be here Tempy." And with that he ducked out of the room and was gone, leaving Shepard to sit and wonder.

"Shastri…" she muttered to herself "…where have I heard that before….Does he mean….Prime Minister Shastri?!" she exclaimed as she tapped off the vid screen. That would have to wait to be addressed at a later date. Hard as it was to hear Hobbs was right. Her crew needed her.

Abigail Shepard remained in her quarters, grief postponed.

Commander Shepard stepped out of her quarters, ready for what was to come next.


	13. Chapter 13

Title: Virmire Part Twelve (2)  
Author: DinkyMew  
Game: Mass Effect (one)  
Disclaimer: Bioware owns all characters and content related to the Mass Effect franchise. Abigail Shepard is my own creation inspired by the character of Jane Shepard created by Bioware. Any original characters contained herein are my own creations and are not necessarily affiliated with Bioware. **You may not copy, distribute or edit this fanfiction as it stands without my expressed permission – thank you **  
Characters Featured: Original Character Argyle Hobbins 'Hobbs'; Kaidan Alenko; Garrus Vakarian; Urdnot Wrex

When he left Shepards cabin his mind was racing. He'd known she was angry, had expected the outburst and was willing to take it all on the chin to let her get it out of her system but he never expected to feel the emotion that he did as her words dug into him.

'_You. Left. Me.' _Her words had carried such conviction that he had been startled for the first time in what seemed to be a long time.

He'd never looked at it from that point of view before and a lot of things pertaining to their relationship after that day started to click into place like pieces of a jigsaw that had been staring him straight in the face for years.

He shook his head as he moved through the ship's crew deck to the elevator. As the heavy door slowly hummed into life and slid down he lingered on the words a while longer, slamming the button to go down.

'…_things have changed…' _she was right on that account as well, things had changed for both of them. His feelings for Shepard had persevered over the years but the nature of his job now left little to no time for any meaningful relationships.

He wondered idly if he'd give that up for Shepard.

Before his mind could wander to a conclusion though the elevator came to an abrupt halt and the doors churned down to reveal a darkened level, illuminated mostly by floor lights on the walkway that stretched out from the lift. Hobbs stepped out and surveyed the landscape, pushing thoughts of Shepard out of his head.

He'd wanted to see the layout of the Normandy first hand since he heard of its construction. He'd seen numerous blueprints and had been privy to conversations about it and it seemed fairly bland and ordinary to him, but now he was on board he realised the vision that had been made reality.

The ship was beautiful with its intricate curves and weaves amongst its many nooks and intricacies. It was certainly the best alliance ship he'd ever been on. And he had been on a lot.

The turian who had introduced himself as Garrus cast an impassive look in his direction, the sound of his boots clunking on the walkway drawing his attention, and offered Hobbs a curt nod which he returned before Garrus returned to the console.

Hobbs had no real love of Turians but Garrus seemed different somehow. He hadn't spent long enough in the Turians company to know any more than that, but the intelligence he'd read on Garrus seemed to affirm his belief.

He turned his head to the other side as he approached the far side of the lower deck and was surprised to see the hulking frame of a Krogan standing amongst a rack of weapons, cleaning them thoroughly.

Hobbs had read the full report on Urdnot Wrex, there were many files detailing the Krogans numerous exploits which endeared Hobbs to the Krogan immediately, but there was no words in the report which did justice to Wrexs' powerful presence.

Hobbs hadn't expected to find the Krogan cleaning weapons though.

As he approached the Krogan grunted at him, deep and gruff. Hobbs simply grunted back and picked up a rifle and began to strip it. He placed the parts caerfully on the table before them and studiously began cleaning them in stages. It was good work, methodical, and it helped him to put aside the emotions he was feeling.

"What do you want." Wrex growled when Hobbs began re-assembling the rifle.

He shrugged "I was just exploring the Normandy. Thought you could use a hand."

There was a guttural noise that sounded like a guffaw but as Hobbs looked up to match the Krogans experienced eyes that drilled into him through a grizzled and scarred face he saw no signs of humour there.

"You know" Hobbs began "I fought a Krogan once. Biggest damn Krogan I've ever seen." He lifted another rifle from the rack and moved smoothly back to the table, stripping the weapon down as before.

"They say when you go hand to hand with a Krogan, you've got to look out for the head, but they don't tell you it's the quad that really crushes you."

When the Krogan looked down at him he made a hand gesture to suggest overly elaborate parts.

At first he thought he had offended the hulking Krogan as a low growl began to emanate from his large mouth. The lipless maw peeled back to reveal two lines of glittering sharp teeth.

Slowly he put the parts of the rifle down ready to defend himself until he realised the Krogan was laughing. He let out a chuckle of his own and returned to cleaning the weapon.

When Wrexs' laughter died down and he returned to the business of cleaning the weapons the air between them felt decidedly more comfortable.

"Name's Wrex" the Krogan grunted.

"Hobbs" was the reply.

The work continued for another few moments before Hobbs decided he was finished and re-assembled the rifle and retuned it in its retracted state to the weapons rack. He leaned back against the locker and watched Wrex as he went about finishing his work. The Krogan's muscles bunched and flexed with every movement, radiating power and strength. Hobbs wasn't lying when he said he'd fought a Krogan before and he would remember that fight for the remainder of his days.

'_Next time I have to fight a Krogan, it'll be from a distance, with a Sniper Rifle and an army standing between us._' He thought to himself with a wry smile.

Wrex seemed to be having a hard time with the re-assembly of an alliance model rifle so Hobbs stepped over, careful not to step too close for comfort. Krogan's enjoyed their personal space and it was a direct affront if you overstepped that boundary too early.

"See the spring on the underbelly" he reached out with a finger gesturing to the area he was meaning. "You've got it in the wrong way 'round."

This time there was a growl from the Krogan as he yanked the spring out and fumbled with it for a moment. He still wasn't getting it right and Hobbs was about to offer further assistance when the Krogan grabbed the incomplete rifle and launched it against a nearby column. Hobbs could only watch as it fell apart and crashed into pieces against the metal-grate floor.

"I'm guessing you don't do this often." Hobbs offered, his tone light but carefully without sarcasm. Krogans were volatile and unpredictable at the best of times, though the reports he'd read suggested that Wrex was surprisingly in control of his temperament.

Wrex merely grunted and returned the pieces he'd cleaned back to the rack where Hobbs stood.

"I know how a gun works. I don't care if it's clean, I just need to know that you point and shoot and things die." The Krogan elaborated. "And human models are unnecessarily complicated." He grunted with a final addendum.

The low light of the deck hid the ghost of a smile that flitted across Hobbs' face. Before he could say anything the Krogan began again in his deep gravelled voice, rumbling and reverberating over the natural hum of the Normandy.

"Williams did most of the weapons housekeeping." Hobbs knew that he was referring to Ashley, and when he said the words it seemed to Hobbs that he was grinding the words out. The entire crew was devastated by their most recent loss and it was plain to see.

"It's good that you're keeping it going for her. I think she'd have liked that." He offered but the sentiment was lost on the Krogan.

"Bullshit. She would have hated the idea. Girl wasn't much for alien races." Wrex seemed to be struggling with his emotions and it was understandable in the given situation.

Over the walkway Garrus had turned his head to observe the interaction. "But she was a fierce warrior. Damned if I wasn't starting to like her."

Hobbs didn't know what to say, how to find a way to assuage the Krogan so he simply stood there, and they remained in silence for a while. This crew seemed remarkably close for such a diverse roster. Asari, Turian, Krogan and human all under one roof – had he read it in a report he would have expected a warzone, but what he felt on the Normandy was something akin to family – and the common denominator was Shepard. It was her who brought the races together in such a fashion and held them together with undeniably impressive skill.

But then, he had never doubted her skills.

"Let's go for a drink" Hobbs offered. "I don't suppose you've got any Ryncol stashed away anywhere do you?" The answer to which was met with the same rumbling guttural laugh that he'd heard earlier in their conversation.

"You amuse me little man." The Krogan bellowed. "I have Ryncol, but it's not a drink for humans, unless you want to lose the next 12 hours." He laughed again and Hobbs shivered, remembering the last time he'd tried the Krogan drink.

"Maybe you're right" Hobbs admitted. "Let's see what the Normandy has to offer." He raised his voice an octave "Garrus!" he exclaimed "Care to join us?" But the Turian wasn't buying into it.

Not surprising given the obvious tension between Turian and Krogan. But they'd been working together in close proximity for a while and they hadn't killed each other and that had to be a good sign.

"Well you know where we'll be if you change your mind" and with that they set off for the Mess Hall, Hobbs following behind the lumbering figure of the massive Krogan, his ruby red armour glinting against the floor light.

0 -

The night had passed quickly as he and Wrex drank in the corner of the mess hall away from the crew members as they went about their duties or came to share a sombre toast to Ashley after hours.

Wrex had turned out to be much more amicable than Hobbs had initially expected and the two had shared war stories for the better part of the evening after the drinks started flowing.

Wrex had brought out his personal supply of Ryncol as he'd attested to having but Hobbs had made an executive decision not to partake of the drink. With the crew still in mourning over losing Ashley it wouldn't look terribly impressive or go down well with Shepard by any means and it was clear that Hobbs would have to try and mend some fences there before he took his leave of the Normandy.

"As I was saying" Hobbs said taking another drink, noticing Kaidan Alenko walking into the Mess Hall out of the corner of his eye. He could see the man collect a drink and sit at the Mess table by himself. "Biotics are a powerful combat tool, but the implant design for humans is seriously flawed."

Wrex grunted in what Hobbs perceived to be acknowledgement and took another great swallow of his green liquid before refilling his glass from a large metal hip-flask that he managed to make look tiny against his massive krogan figure.

From the main table he heard Kaidan give a derisive snort in their general direction. Obviously he'd been listening in and had something to say. For some reason the man seemed to have a vendetta against Hobbs, though as he quickly recalled he had been nothing but polite and courteous to the man since their meeting. He picked up his drink and tipped it to Wrex who nodded in response to his excusal from present company.

Hobbs strolled casually over to the main Mess table where Kaidan sat alone and placed his glass down beside the man.

"Mind if I sit a while?" he said, flashing Kaidan his most winning grin. Kaidan looked him up and down for a moment as if weighing him up. He'd seen this look many times before.

"Sure" came the reply as Hobbs took `the seat regardless. He took a casual drink and cast his blue green eyes on the Lieutenant. Their eyes met and there was a definite tension there, an unspoken battle of some sort that had Hobbs troubled. He didn't mind a fight; but he liked to know what he was fighting for first.

Quietly, he ran back over everything that had been mentioned about the Lieutenant, the fact that he seemed to be held in high regard; his personnel file was exemplary as were his references and commendations; he kept himself to himself – which Hobbs respected, it was a trait he could relate to. He always looked clean and fastidiously dressed – right down to having clean fingernails, he noticed with a raised eyebrow. He couldn't remember when he had last seen a male marine with such clean hands. He scratched his stubbled chin recalling Joker's testament of how the Lieutenant had subverted the romantic attempts of Ashley and cleared his throat to gain the man's attention once more.

"Ok, so I know that men like you have a rather, unique and candid, relationship with women am I right?" he offered with a raise of his eyebrows and was met with a look of confusion.

Maybe Kaidan hadn't been expecting Hobbs to be so forward but he wanted to get past the elephant in the room as soon as possible.

"I appreciate that, and I'm glad that Tempy… I mean Abigail, has someone like you in her life that she can talk to, confide in." he was solemn as he took another sip of his brandy.

Apparently Dr. Chakwas had some sort of covenant on the Serrice Ice Brandy on the Normandy but he'd managed to wrangle a bottle from her on an earlier visit to the Med bay. Kaidan remained silent.

"Be honest with me, has she ever spoken about me?" he said with a mischievous grin.

He'd hoped this would be the turning point in the conversation but the look on the Lieutenants face darkened. He was going to be a hard one to win over, but it would be good to have him on his side if he had any hope of patching things up with Shepard.

"Ok, well, don't believe everything that she's told you. I'm not a bad guy, I promise" he proclaimed whilst holding a hand up in the air in feigned surrender.

Still the mans' face was impassive. The look of confusion had disappeared and was replaced by a placid unimpressed look that Hobbs had seen on occasion.

"Look, Hobbs, is it?" Kaidan finally spoke with his voice low. "I don't know what you think is happening here, but clearly there's been a miscommunication somewhere. Shepard and I…." he began, but Hobbs interrupted in a redoubled effort to win the man over.

"Listen, I don't have a problem with you man. Some of my best friends are gay. Whatever two grown men want to get up to in their own quarters… well… it's none of my business right? And hey, I make a good wingman if you're ever in need." He began in an attempt to be candid. "Check this out."

He reached out an arm to stop a crew member as he walked passed. Hobbs had spoken to the Ensign earlier in the evening and found out that he had a major crush on Kaidan. He turned the man around so that he was facing the table and rose from his chair, placing the drink in the newcomer's hand.

"Haave you met Kaidan?" he said with a wild grin and ushered the man into the chair.

As he turned to walk away he mouthed an elaborate and easily read 'Thank me later' to Kaidan with his best grin and two thumbs up in his direction.

He walked back a few paces and watched as Kaidan looked on aghast as the Ensign began a line of conversation Hobbs could not hear. He returned to his seat with Wrex and plunked himself down looking invariably proud of himself. The Krogan was simply staring at him.

"You know, Alenko isn't gay…" the Krogan rumbled cautiously.

Hobbs blinked, leaning forward toward Wrex "Are you sure?" He whispered urgently and the Krogan broke into a grin.

"You've got a quad though," the krogan churned "I'll give you that." With an abrasive laugh the Wrex poured him a glass of Ryncol, sliding it across the table to him.

The smell was foul and he knew the liquid would be fouler still. He'd only just resigned himself to staying away from the drink for the night but it would be rude not to now that it was in the offering.

The liquid barely ghosted across Hobb's lips before he could feel the burning sensation begin but before he had time to register the drink a hand slammed down on the table next to him drawing his attention. It was Kaidan. And he looked pissed.

"I. Am not. Gay." Kaidan began in a terse crisp tone, biting off the words as they escaped his mouth.

Carefully, Hobbs took the opportunity to glance behind him back to the mess table where Kaidan had been previously sitting. The ensign had left the room but Kaidan's voice was low and dangerous. He stood from the table and spread his hands out wide, furrowing his brow as he sputtered a response, for once the words did not come easily.

"Relax Lieutenant. That was a genuine mistake." He offered the words honestly in an attempt to defuse the potentially volatile situation.

He'd read the signs wrong. It was out of sorts for Hobbs to misread a person, a situation. He put it down to being tired and being notably pre-occupied with Shepard. Although events between the Commander and the Lieutenant that he had been privy to did seem to make a lot more sense with this revelation. He let out a small audible groan as suddenly everything became clear.

'…_things have changed…_' he heard Shepard's voice echo in his mind and he knew what that meant now.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you or cause any distress." He explained as Kaidan took a dangerous step toward him – the last thing he needed was to get in a fight; Shepard would certainly through his ass through the grinder for that "Believe it or not I was trying to build some sort of bridge. I thought it would be more…" he searched for the word "…conducive to the rest of my time aboard the Normandy." He admitted his tone humble and sincere.

Kaidan's grief was clearly still too fresh and he hadn't helped things with his blindfolded attempt to establish some form of relationship with the man. Now he wasn't even sure it would ever be possible but his main concern was diffusing what he had inadvertently started.

"I'll know better next time" he said calmly, draining the rest of his drink in one swallow, forgetting that it was the Krogan cocktail.

He could feel the effects immediately after the initial burn faded. His vision blurred in and out of focus momentarily as his head swam. His thoughts came as if from another source and they slogged around inside his head as the room took on a gentle spin.

He meant to step back and then turn to find a bed to sleep on but the move turned out to be a backwards stagger. He heard a scoffing noise, cold and irritated and paused as through his watery vision he attempted to pinpoint the source.

"You flyboys are all the same. Go where you like, do as you please. Carefree and irresponsible." Kaidan pressed, the disdain in his tone was evident and Hobbs could feel it poke the embers in his heart even through the onset of his drunken stupor.

He took several deliberate careful steps towards Kaidan who looked at him as a parent would look at their child the first night they came home drunk. Hobbs' fist was clenched at his side as he spoke, his rising anger threatening to get the better of him.

"Listen Alenko." There was the beginning of a drawl to his voice as he spoke, the Ryncol coursing through his system. "I've got more responsibility than you can hope to know. I've got people. People I'm responsible for. I've always had that. I was orphaned at the age of 6." He pointed out, stabbing a finger into the Lieutenants chest pointedly.

Kaidan didn't back away though, he simply looked down at the finger, then back to him, that same impassive, unimpressed look on his features.

"I was the oldest one at the 'Orphanage'. The things they did to us there…'The girls get abused and the boys get bruised'" he spat the saying out, bitterness lacing his words.

Suddenly he wasn't terribly aware of Kaidan as he let cold, painful memories sweep up from under him, the ryncol did nothing to help the matter.

"I wanted to protect them. I told the authorities, and the raping, the beatings stopped….for them." He gestured with his hand to some invisible group.

"Not for me though. So don't tell me I'm all sunshine and rainbows. I've got my own shit to deal with…" he drawled as the room started to get fuzzy.

Even through the wave of warm sensations that he would normally enjoy he could feel his anger bubbling at the man's ignorance. What the hell had he ever done to offend this guy?

"The only difference is, I aim to rise above my problems. They don't…de…defi….they don't make me who I am. And I sure as hell ain't gonna be the guy that shits on everyone else's parade because of it." He dropped the glass back on the table and pushed it towards Wrex clumsily.

" 'preciate the drink Wrex" he slurred "Probly' shouldn't have done it in one go though, gonna feel that in the mornin." He said and tipped an imaginary hat to the Krogan who rumbled and stood from the table.

Hobbs never bothered to look at Kaidan. He'd said more than he intended to say, revealed too much about himself to strangers.

"Bloody Ryncol…" he sputtered as he staggered out of the Mess Hall and towards a door that he hoped led towards a soft bed for the night.

Behind him unawares the hulking figure of Urdnot Wrex stood from his chair and brushed past Kaidan, bumping his shoulder into the man to knock him aside with a growl. Kaidan, who was staring after Hobbs barely felt the force against him but the words the Krogan grunted as he passed shook him out of his state.

"Damned Pyjack." He grunted in a low voice as he moved off leaving Kaidan standing alone in the mess hall, not quite sure what to do next.


	14. Chapter 14

Title: Virmire Part Thirteen  
Author: DinkyMew  
Game: Mass Effect (one)  
Disclaimer: Bioware owns all characters and content related to the Mass Effect franchise. Abigail Shepard is my own creation inspired by the character of Jane Shepard created by Bioware. Any original characters contained herein are my own creations and are not necessarily affiliated with Bioware. **You may not copy, distribute or edit this fanfiction as it stands without my expressed permission – thank you **  
Characters Featured: Abigail Shepard (F); Kaidan Alenko (M); Garrus Vakarian (M); Joker 'Jeff' Moreau (M); Original character Operative Argyle Hobbins 'Hobbs' (M)

The whole hall felt heavy with loss.

It had been decorated for the occasion, heavy velvet drapes in Alliance navy blue curved gracefully down from each side of the raised platform. In the middle was a podium, the president of the Alliance Military stood like a pillar, talking about the duty of a marine and the reputation of the Systems Alliance.

Before him, in the forecourt of the hall, stood the casket that contained Ashley's body. Her family had chosen white, the Systems Alliance flag draped over the polished curve along with a wreath of lilies. Immediately in front of this were the first row of seats occupied by Ashley's family: her mother and sisters, her cousins, her aunts and uncles.

Seated behind, in the second row was the Normandy crew, humans and aliens alike – a fact that had caused much commotion within the Alliance Brass – but Shepard had insisted that every member of the crew be allowed to attend. Of course it came at a price; bargain struck, they crew could attend if Commander Shepard offered a eulogy at the commemoration.

Normally the death of a marine in combat barely got a mention in the extranet news – it was the post humus award of a Star of Terra that evoked such a regal send-off for Ashley, not to mention the Silver Dagger that the Salarian hegemony had awarded her. Funnily enough that one had been left off the agenda today.

Kaidan shifted in his seat, waggling a finger between the high collar of his dress blues and his throat. It was incredibly hot, the Vancouver sun beating through the glass panels in the ceiling. He glanced to his left where Garrus was casting a nervous glance around the packed hall. He felt for him, it must be incredibly intimidating being a Turian in a hall full of humans, never mind that many of them were veterans who had served in the first contact war.

He gave him an encouraging smile as the hall erupted into polite applause and the President of the Systems Alliance inclined his head, taking his seat at the back of the raised platform, folding his hands back into his thick lap. Commander Shepard stood and the whole crew seemed to take a collective breath as she moved slowly to the podium; or maybe it was just his heart racing?

He couldn't be sure.

She looked breath-taking, dressed in her Alliance uniform. The crisp blue jacket fit around her perfectly like a second skin, the sharp pencil skirt was cut to just below the knee, he spied a bruise at her ankle which was tilted into kind black heels that added a few inches to her height. Her hair was pinned back, the Alliance cap secured on her head as she glanced out over the hall and gave them a nervous smile, rummaging in her jacket pocket for some folded notes she had made.

"I…" She took a breath, smoothing her notes over the podium as she gripped its sides carefully "It's very rare that you meet people like Ashley Williams."

Her eyes found the crowd and the corners of her mouth ghosted a smile "I was her Commander. But I think if you were to ask her, and certainly if you asked me, I would say I was her friend. In the nine months I knew Ashley we grew very close and I was privileged to know some of her more hidden intricacies." She paused, the grief clear on her ashen face as she swallowed carefully, biting back the emotion that threatened to overwhelm her.

Kaidan glanced down the line to Joker, seated on the end of the row his face was white, half hidden under the nose of his cap, but Kaidan knew he was hurting badly. It had been over drinks that the pilot had confessed what happened between Ashley and himself – or some, but Kaidan was beginning to believe it was more than just a kiss.

They had spent last night talking about it for hours, but Joker seemed reluctant to go into details, and Kaidan wasn't sure it was right to press him to talk about that stuff. He would, in his own time. He had known Joker for years and knew him well enough to know he would talk to him when he needed to. When it was time for it all to come tumbling out of him.

"For the longest time I remember Ashley's fear of never being good enough." Shepard said gently, her tone laced with fond memories as her eyes dropped to the white casket "Was she good enough to serve the Alliance? was she good enough to serve me? Was she good enough to serve mankind?" She shook her head almost absently "It didn't define her, but in quiet moments, I would see that shadow steal over her features as she questioned herself. As she doubted herself."

Kaidan watched as the Commander cleared her throat, pressing fingertips to her brow as she fought off tears that threatened. "If she… if she were here now, I would tell her that she wasn't good enough. That she was perfect."

She coughed gently as the room fluttered with polite applause. Taking a shaky breath Shepard continued "Ashley was a vital member of our crew aboard the Normandy. She brought a lot to a fight, but even more to our home – our ship – and she will be dearly missed by every one of us."

"Today, as she returns home, Ashley has redeemed her family name – the name of her sisters and her mother and indeed her father – beyond comparable measure, and I know that wherever she is now that knowledge will bring her some measure of peace from the constant doubts she was so plagued with." Again there was the beat of applause and Shepard paused, sweeping a hand over her forehead as tears caught the light, sliding down her cheeks silently.

"_You were good_ enough Ashley." She said shakily.

Kaidan nodded, dipping his head to his chest as he remembered Ashley's constant picking at herself; she had once come to him and asked if he could show her how to hold a pistol properly because she was worried she was doing it wrong. The girl had fight in her, and a temper to boot, but really she was just insecure, striving to do better for her family name.

He missed her.

Stifling a cough Shepard wiped her eyes, smiling gently "If I could take a moment I would like to read to you a famous quote – one that when I read it amongst her books and poems – fit so perfectly, the Ashley I knew, I felt it was my duty to share it with you on her behalf."

She took a deep breath, her eyes turning back to the crowded hall as she held herself steady "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate." She said carefully "Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure."

"It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us." She swallowed, and Kaidan could almost feel the grip on that podium tighten as she bit back on her emotion "Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people don't feel insecure around you."

Her voice cracked with emotion as she continued "We are all meant to shine as children do. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Confidently, silently, Commander Shepard raised her hand in a solemn salute.

"Stand down soldier, your fight is done. We carry your rifle, are driven by your legacy. We carry on the fight with your memory in our hearts." There was a crisp, polite yet appreciative round of applause from the gathered crowd as Shepard returned to her seat.

Abigail was vaguely aware of her surroundings, hearing things as though her head was dunked in a bowl of water. As she sat down, her eyes glossing over the crowded room she counted her heartbeats, she swallowed back tears one at a time, barely hearing the next speaker as he took the podium.

The rest of the funeral ceremony passed in much the same manner, happening too quickly and yet much too slowly at the same time. When it was over she followed the speakers from the raised platform blindly, drifting aimlessly among the crowds as she passed face after face she didn't recognise.

She wasn't sure how long she had been wandering when she felt a gentle tug on her arm and whipped her head around as though expecting an attack only to find Kaidan, his grief stricken features bringing her sharply back into a sense of reality.

She tensed, ready for his verbal assault but it didn't come. They hadn't spoken since the incident on the Normandy but whatever he was thinking it wasn't about arguing.

"Come on Shepard, the wake will be starting soon." He said gently, his hand slipping from her elbow to graze her fingers by her side. He didn't take her hand, but she ached for him to.

She nodded numbly and started to move off with him when she felt another hand taking her by the opposing arm. She turned her head to see Hobbs standing humbly. He was looking directly between her and Kaidan but there was no challenge in those blue green eyes, none of its usual fire. Those eyes instead were sad and pensive.

"That will have to wait Commander. The Fleet Admiral and the Parliament want a direct report on the Virmire situation…" he paused as he radiated empathy. It was clear that Hobbs didn't approve of their timing but Shepard knew he was only following orders. "…and they want it now."

She could feel Kaidan moving across her body in a protective gesture that sent a wave of appreciation through her. She almost allowed herself a smile before pushing him back and stepping closer to Hobbs, keeping her eyes firmly on Kaidan.

"It's alright Kaidan. I'd rather do this report sooner than later anyway. Go ahead to the wake with the others and I'll meet you there as soon as I'm done."

This time she did allow herself a smile holding Kaidan's eyes as he returned it, the corners of his mouth turning up gently before he looked back to Hobbs. As he met the other man's eyes Kaidan's expression changed instantly back to a defensive protective one though he said no words, simply stared for a moment before turning away and moving quickly to join the others who were moving slowly with the crowd as they made their way to the reception area for the wake.

After a few minutes they were alone in the hall, the only other presence the pallbearers who were working on moving Ashley to her final place of rest. Shepard watched them idly, feeling the presence of Hobbs beside her like a wall to be leaned on. The place had taken on an eerie quiet aspect now that they were just two and the weight of her grief threatened to engulf her.

Whether or not he sensed it, when he put his large hand on her shoulder she could feel the warmth radiate from it, pushing back her grief. She needed that comfort right now and she was grateful for it. He'd sat quietly, respectfully throughout the entirety of the ceremony on the opposite side of Wrex and he hadn't made any attempts to console her throughout, though she'd felt his presence like a rock in the background.

Absently she considered how reserved he had been with her since he had his spat with Kaidan. Wrex had filled her in on the whole misunderstanding, and she had never found the words through the last few days to explain things to Hobbs; she wasn't sure she understood what was happening between her and the lieutenant to explain it anyway.

"Abigail, I've got to warn you. The parliament…" he began to say carefully as they made their way out of the parlour and into the bright, sunny streets beyond. "…they can be very unforgiving. They'll want you to relive everything."

Her brows knitted together as she considered his words. "Why?" was all she could manage.

"They're not happy that they lost a human crew member during this unsanctioned mission involving Alien politics." He said bluntly but with a great deal of sorrow.

Shepard could understand. The mission wasn't exactly approved but the Parliament would have to accept that she was a Spectre now. She didn't need permission from the Systems Alliance anymore, although she still chose to operate within the Alliance military. She nodded as they continued to move through the streets. The view in Vancouver was like every city on Earth, busy, full of life going about its daily routine, but she found she didn't have time to enjoy it.

Luckily the Parlour was not far from the Alliance Headquarters, the building looming into view among a garden of water features and greenery. It hardly looked like a military building, more like an expensive block of properties. She had never seen the Headquarters before – she had received mail from them, seen them in pictures, but to behold it in its glory was something else.

"I know it's not going to be easy Tempy, but if they push you to hard…" he shrugged "…just tell them to stick it up their ass." He flashed a grin and she responded with a laugh.

He could get through her defences as easily as he always could, which was generally an infuriating quality but today it was just right. Today she needed to be reminded it was ok to be human, to live and love and laugh with someone; but there was still that darkness at the back of it all, knowing that it was never _real_ with Hobbs. It never could be.

"So" she began finally finding her voice and regaining a measure of her composure. "I have questions that I want answered." Before he could interject she silenced him with a look to which he simply shrugged once again.

"Why is it that you report directly to the Prime Minister?" The question had bothered her like a bad itch that she just couldn't scratch until now. It had been a fleeting wonder at first which had managed to develop into an annoying mystery that she couldn't solve.

"My Rank." He answered plainly. When she stared at him blankly he continued "You see, it's not entirely…conventional. That mission I took all those years ago drew the attention of the Alliance Brass. They had a position they needed to fill….Covert. Highly classified. Doesn't exist classified. Even you couldn't find files on it Shepard." He looked at Shepard with a grin as she absorbed his words slowly.

"Well… wait…" She shook her head, her hand catching his arm as she stopped him from moving "What mission?"

When he did stop and look at her she felt her chest tighten painfully and drew in a shaky breath "Oh." She whispered, forcing her voice out "_That_ mission."

She could see his mood falter, his eyes drop with shame as he looked away from her momentarily, back to the Alliance building looming behind them like some distant nightmare – but it was always there. Always had been, she thought bitterly watching him. Her anger was such she wanted him to feel badly, she wanted him to hang his head in shame, but she knew also that she had to let go. She had to move on.

"I don't think today is the right day for that conversation." He said to her gently, his fingers grazing her hands as he swept them up in his own. "All you need to know about that… well…" He smiled, briefly, bringing both sets of her knuckles to his lips as he kissed them gently "That was the biggest mistake of my life Tempy, and one day you and me we're gonna talk about that."

He dropped her hands again and she stared at him a long moment. He was right. Today was not the day for that. "So, what did you do that got their attention?" She asked as they continued walking.

"I know, why me right? I asked myself that a lot." He nodded, pushing ahead of her so she had to rush to keep pace beside him "The only conclusion I can come up with is that my skillset matched what they were looking for identically. Combat skill, Lone Agent, Technically proficient…" He paused, as he opened the glass door of the Alliance Headquarters for her and waited for her to enter before him "…And most importantly, no-one to care enough to ask questions if I don't come home."

She stopped short, looking to him sharply as the words hung between them and she regretted having asked him in that instant. He shook it off behind a grin and a chuckle.

"I guess you could say I'm a bonifide spy, and I could pull rank on anyone in the Military if I wanted to." He let those words sink in. "Anyone. Now, while we're talking, and I don't doubt you have more questions, there's something I need to talk to you about." He gestured along a long hallway, obviously he knew where they were supposed to be going.

She barely had time to take in the neat building, the crisp blue carpets, the ordinary pictures that dotted the walls. There was a reception desk but Hobbs breezed right on past it and the receptionist barely even gave him a second glance. Not for the first time Shepard hurried after him wondering just what the hell he had gotten himself into. His secretiveness was nothing new, but this was beyond comprehension.

"And that is?" She asked, struggling to keep track of their movements as he led her through corridors and doorways.

My time on the Normandy might not be over." He said quietly, pausing to turn and face her, his hand hovering over the holo-lock of an elevator. "The Prime Minister has rightly surmised the priority of your Mission and he'll want me as close to it as possible." At the beginnings of a thunderous look that she knew echoed the feelings in her gut he quickly moved on.

"It's not that he doesn't trust you to see it done. Quite the contrary. He told me that there's no-one he'd rather have in charge of this thing, not even me." The way he said it suggested that it was a source of irritation for him, which she could well believe. Hobbs had always prided himself on being the best.

"I can see how it would be beneficial to have someone who can report to him directly." Shepard replied as she thought about it carefully. "To be perfectly honest Hobbs, I don't know how I'd feel. You and I, we have a lot of history. Not all of it good, not all of it bad. I'll admit that we could use someone with your skills with what we're going into but…" she couldn't find the words to finish the sentence and was glad when Hobbs stepped in as the elevator pinged and the doors slid open.

"Don't worry Abigail. If I get the order I'll make sure he understands that I will not pull rank and demand it of you. It will be in your power and I'll be under your direct command if it comes to pass." They stepped inside the elevator and she watched as he pressed a button for a floor near the top of the building. She took a moment to look around, surprised that the back of the elevator was glass looking out over the city of Vancouver below. From this vantage point she could see the ocean in the distance, it was beautiful.

"I won't be attending the wake Shepard" he concluded carefully. She wasn't surprised though. Hobbs hardly knew Ashley and he'd done more than enough in staying with them this far. She nodded.

"But I will be in touch before you leave." He avoided her eyes as the elevator came to a stop. The doors slid open revealing a long grey corridor "Second door on the left." He said gently.

She looked down the corridor, hesitating and as though he could sense it in her he pressed a hand to her shoulder again "Just tell them the truth Shepard." He said firmly "You did everything you could. Please believe that."

She nodded weakly, and he waited for her to exit before he pressed another button, the doors sliding closed leaving her standing alone. She could smell industrial cleaner, the strip light overhead making her temples pound wildly as she swallowed, smoothing the front of her Alliance jacket.

Taking a deep breath she strode to the door Hobbs had indicated, the gold plaque to the left of the door staring at her as she hesitated, looping loose strandsof hair behind her ears and wiping her dry mouth. The doors swept open and she paused on the threshold, holding her breath as a long table was revealed, sitting on a raised stair that ran the length of the full sized windows. The sun streamed through illuminating the room easily, but casting the bodies behind that table in shadow as she squinted, her eyes dropping to the grey carpet as she stepped slowly inside.

"Commander Shepard." The voice was female, crisp and disconcerting as Abigail fought to keep her hands at her sides rather than shade her eyes from the glare of the sun. "Take a seat."

It was an order, not a request and it was only then she noticed the chair a few feet in front of her. She cleared her throat, swallowing her pride and sitting rigidly on the chair. From this angle the sun was less painful on her eyes and she could see the four faces scrutinising her from the table.

The lady that had spoken was dressed in a sharp black suit, a badge was pinned to the breast-pocket but from this distance Shepard couldn't see it clearly. Her blonde hair was cut neatly at her jawline, her lips a deep, dark red crept into a cold smile as grey eyes looked the Commander up and down. She looked an unforgiving sort, like a hawk waiting to swoop on some prey.

"My name is Amanda Phelps." She said frostily "To my left is Drajhi Mulabid and to my right Damien Costa and Imrin Agastra." She paused as though allowing Shepard time to take in the names before barrelling forward in that clipped monotonous tone "You might be wondering why you were summoned here by Operative Hobbins." She said tersely "You are now, from this moment, taking part in an evaluation of the events following the Virmire mission that concluded with the death of an Alliance soldier, an Alliance soldier taking part in a mission that was unsanctioned and unknown to the Alliance military. Make no mistake, everything said within this room will be considered and weighed when we review your competency at the hearing, you may ask us questions but you should know we are here to gather information only – we have no direct connection to the investigation other than that." She cleared her throat, pawing through papers in front of her. She paused, pulling one sheet from a pile and laying it front of her.

"Do you have any questions?" The man to her left asked, Mr Mulabid Shepard recalled turning her focus to his placid features. His face was dark, his long features typical of Asian descent and as his dark eyes watched her she found no comfort in them whatsoever. He too was dressed as smartly as his predecessor, the same name-badge tagged to his jacket.

"I…" Shepard swallowed "Do not." She said at last. Deciding it would be best to try and gauge the position of the Alliance before she asked too many questions that could be revealing, or put her in a more difficult position than she already was.

"Very well." Amanda Phelps smiled icily "Shall we begin?"

"It was a good ceremony." Liara said, swirling the clear liquor in her glass around and around before setting it back at the table.

Kaidan nodded, taking a sip of his whiskey, his eyes peeling over the crowded hall before they turned back to the Normandy crew, gathered around a table they seemed segregated from the main Alliance guests, but it was nice; it felt comfortable. A few wary marines had given Wrex careful and suspicious glances, but for his part the Krogan seemed placid enough. Kaidan might have even called it grieving, but he couldn't be sure.

He missed Joker; normally in places like this he was used to his friend's presence and found that without him he felt more socially awkward than normal. The pilot had elected to return to the Normandy and no one had objected – no one knew quite what to say to him yet.

The chosen venue was appropriate he thought for Ashley, a bar with wide enough space for a dance-floor. A few of the guests had already graced the floor; the music flowing as well as the alcohol softened the hard grip of grief enough for people to even laugh occasionally. It was odd how coming together in remembrance could do that he thought idly, he only wished Shepard could be there too.

They had both said some heated things back on the Normandy, but he knew deep down that was just her way. That was her way of protecting herself by running everyone who might care about her off.

Finishing the last of his beverage he raked a hand through his hair, unbuttoning his collar as he stood. "More drinks?"

There was a rumble of agreement as he turned toward the bar, Garrus moving with him. The bar was at the far end of the hall, near the entrance, curving around toward the bathrooms. It was crowded, many of the guests either sitting at the glass counter on bar stools, or standing in little groups talking and sharing stories.

Politely they made their way to the end of the bar, near the entrance where Alliance officers stood watching the wake and making sure no one wandered in off the street. Kaidan acknowledged them with a nod as their eyes turned warily to Garrus. He wondered absently how the Turian must feel being surrounded by so many humans, but it was nice to see him out of his armour for once.

Leaning on the glass top Kaidan sat his empty glass down and settled to wait patiently for the barkeep to get to them. The staff was frantic, running back and forth pouring drinks and uncapping others. A waitress spotted him and made a beeline in his direction, an open and friendly smile on her face.

"Can I help you sir?" She asked, wiping her hands on a little apron over her black trousers. She looped her red hair behind her ears as she gave him a once over.

"Another round of drinks for the table in the corner." He said, jabbing his thumb in the direction they had come from. She glanced over his shoulder, her brow furrowing.

"Table 12?" She asked and he nodded, hoping it was the right one, he hadn't taken note of a number. She smiled, turning back to the previous order tabs, readying their drinks one by one.

He was about to turn and speak with Garrus when a voice beside him caught his attention.

The man was drunk, too drunk to speak clearly, and as he started speaking his voice was so loud and gravelly it carried over the music.

"Goddamn stinking Turians." He spat, literally, slamming his glass on the countertop "Whole lot of them, just waiting for us to go down. You here celebratin'? Huh?"

As if the subject of the man's distaste wasn't apparent he took a step toward Garrus, bumping chests with the Turian aggressively as he raised his chin.

"S'pose this was a happy day for you huh?" He barked, his dark eyes clouding with anger as the Turian remained unresponsive, raising his hands in an attempt to calm the situation.

"I'm here for Ashley." He said thickly, but that only seemed to ignite the man's anger further.

"Yeah I bet you are!" He slurred with a growl "Here to make sure she's good and dead eh?"

Kaidan stepped deliberately between the two, slightly taller than the other man he pressed a hand to his chest, pushing him back a step as he cleared his throat.

"You might want to watch your mouth…" He glanced to his shoulder, recognising the rank immediately "Corporal." He said pointedly and he watched with satisfaction as the man's eyes passed over his own epaulettes.

"He's right!" This time it was a female voice, coming from the crowded bar. Shortly following a woman muscled her way to the front. She was small, her dark hair pinned back, her features angular and beautiful – but it was her eyes that gave her away.

"Sarah…" He said carefully, coming face to face with Ashley's little sister. He swallowed uncomfortably.

"Ashley would have hated aliens at her funeral. She would never have agreed to it. Especially a Turian." She glared at Garrus openly and Kaidan split his man, holding off the Corporal with a raised hand while trying to calm Sarah at the same time.

"Garrus was a friend to Ashley," He tried "He's fought beside her, with her – he just wanted to pay his respects."

Behind him Garrus shifted uncomfortable, but Kaidan wasn't backing down. He's be damned if they were going to take this from his friend. Garrus had taken bullets for all of them, there was no way he was about to let him be singled out.

"Ok…" He licked his lips "I think everyone is upset, everyone's had a little to drink and we're all letting this get out of hand…"

"No, you've just spent so long out in space it's rot your mind." The Corporal grunted "So you want to take your _boyfriend_ and get the hell outta here."

Kaidan took a deep breath, squaring against the man as he stood to his full height "I. Am not. Gay!" He said firmly, exasperated.

"I don't care!" Sarah screamed "Just get him out of here!"

"Maybe I should just go…" Garrus said quietly and Kaidan half turned to him.

"No." He said firmly "Ashley would have wanted you here." He said holding the Turian's gaze "You should stay." But as he turned back he was blindsided, the punch coming so quick he didn't have time to react to it.

A fist hit him full in the mouth and he countered preparing to hit back, his fist curling in preparation as he paused, confused and stunned momentarily. The hit had not come from the Corporal as he had expected, but from Sarah. She stood before him a tempest of fury that reminded him of Ashley so much.

He lowered his hand, there was no way he was hitting a woman, but Sarah wasn't about to let him get away with it. She rallied on him, hitting him again and again as he brought an arm up to deflect her blows. He stepped back, losing his balance and toppling to the floor under her. The wind was knocked from his lungs as he tried to grab her fists, to calm her, to bring back reason but she was too fast and he was too dazed.

It was then a hand interjected, gripping Sarah's wrist and hauling her back a few steps, allowing Kaidan to get slowly to his feet, dusting his trousers off as he looked sheepishly at the crowd that had gathered around the scene.

Shepard stood, Sarah's wrist in her grip she held it above the young woman's head as she looked at them all with a deadly glare. She looked tired, Kaidan thought, and as though she had been crying. Her face white and stricken was surrounded by the loose, dark waves of her hair now unpinned, but her blue eyes blazed cold fury as she let her gaze linger on each face momentarily.

"What the hell are you doing?" She asked cooly "All of you. Look at you." She shook her head, dropping Sarah's arm with disgust "You think Ashley would have wanted this?" She asked hotly. The few onlookers who had turned to watch suddenly dispersed, turning back to the bar, jovial conversation returning as she looked hard to the Corporal "Ashley put her life on the line for every single member of our crew on a daily basis, and they did the same for her. Anyone who goes against my crew goes against me. Do you get me?"

She looked to each in turn but none would meet her gaze, her reputation – the hero of Elysium preceded her. She stood solid, waiting as Garrus and Kaidan collected the drinks and moved back toward the table before she turned to Sarah, eyeing the young woman up carefully.

"You're sister loved you." She said calmly "But her time on the Normandy changed her. Don't shame her memory by living in ignorance." Without waiting for a reply she turned and made her way back to the table with her crew.

She joined them quietly, taking a seat next to Liara as the drinks were passed around. The Asari smiled weakly at her and Shepard returned it gently, she had a lot of time for Liara; she seemed a gentle sort.

After a moment Kaidan got to his feet and she noticed his mouth was bleeding; he excused himself politely and moved away through the crowds toward a doorway nursing his mouth gently. She made a poor attempt at masking her own excusal from the table and followed him as he disappeared behind the door.

"Wait." She said breathlessly, catching his shoulder as she turned round the door after him.

He turned; his brow furrowing as he cleared his throat awkwardly "Shepard…" He said quietly "This is the men's room."

She hesitated as she glanced behind her, the sign now apparent as were the urinals on the far wall "Oh." She shrugged "Well, I…" She looked back to him suddenly sheepish and he smiled, wincing as it reopened the cut on his lip. He pressed the pad of his thumb there, looking away as he sighed – almost embarrassed, colour blossoming on his face.

"Let me see." She said, moving over to the sinks and running a tap briefly. Pulling the unused handkerchief from her breast pocket she held it under the running water as he approached, rinsing it gently she turned to him.

"She got you good Alenko." She smiled as she dabbed the damp material to his swollen lip.

"Yeah, what is it with the Williams girls and hitting me in the face?" He joked and she chuckled softly, remembering Ashley's greeting for the Lieutenant on Eden Prime.

"You must just have one of those faces." She smiled, lifting the handkerchief gingerly to see if the bleeding had stopped. Deciding it wasn't quite finished she pressed it gently back, holding his gaze as she moved her shoulders "You know, good for hitting." She swallowed "Shouting stupid stuff at."

He paused, the words not lost on him as his eyes ticked to the floor, back to her "Shepard…"

"I don't think it's anything permanent though." She said quickly, cutting his apology short in his throat. He had nothing to apologise for; she had been irrational, she had let the situation overwhelm her and that was unforgiveable.

His hand came up, curling around her own and moving it gently away from his cut lip. The bleeding had stopped and she focused her attention there, on his mouth so she wouldn't have to see the pain in his eyes.

"Shepard what I said…" He whispered and she shook her head, fighting the urge to fall into him, fighting the need to have his mouth on hers "I didn't mean…"

"We both said a lot of stupid stuff." She said quietly, drawing her eyes over the curve of his lips. She was so close she could feel his breath on her face, could see his lip tremble a little as heavy silence pregnant with anticipation settled over them. There was a faint line on his top lip, a faded scar and she wondered idly how he had got that – she wanted to know, wanted to know everything about him.

With a noise somewhere between a moan and a sigh Kaidan closed the space between them, his hand still on hers tightened as his lips met her own. It was everything she had dreamed it would be, gentle and passionate at the same time – desperate need hiding beneath its simplicity like a second skin. She trembled against him, the electricity between them sending shivers through her.

"I'm still sorry." He whispered against her mouth, the movement of his lips somehow more sensual than she had thought it would be. She shook her head, a soft moan escaping from her as she kissed him again, this time her hands coming around his neck, her fingers delving into the thick crown of his hair, sliding down past the port for his implant to his neck where they sat tingling against his skin.

He held her against him, his hand gently on her lower back felt rigid – almost nervous and she smiled, pulling back a little as she smoothed the lapels of his uniform again.

"We should head back to the Normandy." She said, adding an emphatic nod for good measure. The lieutenant was breathing hard, his eyes glinting with mischief and lust as he tried to collect himself enough to speak.

"Actually." He said, his voice ragged and gravelly "I have an idea, if you're up for it?"

Shepard smiled; challenge accepted.


	15. Chapter 15

Title: Virmire Part Fourteen  
Author: DinkyMew  
Game: Mass Effect (one)  
Disclaimer: Bioware owns all characters and content related to the Mass Effect franchise. Abigail Shepard is my own creation inspired by the character of Jane Shepard created by Bioware. Any original characters contained herein are my own creations and are not necessarily affiliated with Bioware. **You may not copy, distribute or edit this fanfiction as it stands without my expressed permission – thank you **  
Characters Featured: Kaidan Alenko (M); Abigail Shepard (F); Argyle Hobbins 'Hobbs' (M); Liara T'Soni

**Extra Note**: I do not own the song mentioned in this chapter. The song is 'find me' by the wonderful Boyce Avenue and so all right etc belong to them. You can listen here: watch?v=7_nJQlMlbYg – I highly recommend you give it a listen after reading as it will allow you to appreciate the chapter better – thank you!

Abigail Shepard stepped out of the flightcab, her breath taken from her instantly by the view. There was nothing but ocean – shining white and wonderful under the sunlight, the waves cresting the white sand gently as her heels pressed into the soft terrain. Turning to look for Kaidan she saw him swiping his card for payment and beyond him the grandest house she had ever seen.

It seemed to tower above them, built and kept in a traditional fashion. The porch and boards were painted white, as was the garage to the left of the house. She caught her breath as Kaidan came up beside her, the hum of the flightcab filling the silence as it took off once more.

"Is this your home?" she asked, her eyes widening at the prospect. She had known Kaidan's parents served in the Alliance; that they had some wealth, but standing before the beautiful property she realised just how she had underestimated the scale.

"This is my parent's house." He said firmly, leaving no doubt in her mind that he did not consider this home – at least not any more. "They're not here though – they spend the summer at my aunt's in Alaska."

Before she could respond he started toward the house and numbly she followed not knowing what to expect. He took the porch steps quickly, with a familiarity that made her ache a little, she could just imagine him growing up here – a skinny little boy running around the beach all day long, his skin kissed to a golden tan under the summer suns.

She followed him up the weathered wooden steps that creaked under her heels, glancing first left to the swing bench suspended from the porch ceiling, an old blanket abandoned on its seat and then glancing right to see an impressive array of greenery on display in beautiful clay pots. By the time she turned back to Kaidan he had the door open, and was already inside the house.

She paused on the threshold, greeted by the smell of sandalwood and jasmine as she peered inside as though through an invisible barrier. The entrance foyer was wide; the floor polished wood and ahead of her she could see a carpeted staircase leading to a second floor. It looked homely, decorated with love and care, a table at the foot of the stairs held a blossoming jasmine plant and a large silver photo frame – the characters within too far away for her to tell who it was.

To her right she could see an open doorway that seemed to lead to a parlour, or a living room, from this vantage point only the corner of a blue leather sofa visible. To her left a closed door and straight ahead, beyond the stairwell she could see a kitchen, the green countertops glinting off the sun that streamed through the net curtains there.

"Shepard?" Kaidan prompted and she flinched, realising she had been standing there some time just looking. He took a step toward her, smiling "I told you – they're not here. Come in."

"Sorry." She said quietly, stepping inside, hesitating as she wondered whether she should have removed her shoes. She glanced to Kaidan's feet, seeing he was still in his boots she decided to leave her heels on for now, the door closing behind her quietly. "I feel…" she gave a breathless laugh, shaking her head at him "I feel strange. Like we're naughty teenagers skipping school or something." She admitted, chewing her lip uncomfortably.

"Oh." Kaidan blinked, his face falling "oh." He stumbled over his words as his hand wrapped around the banister of the stairwell "I didn't mean… I only thought it would be a break from the Normandy. To let you have a break from… well from everything. This was a bad idea wasn't it?"

She blushed, truly, feeling the heat soar from within as it burned her cheeks and she stammered a reply "No!" She cried "I didn't mean… I understand what you were trying to do. I'm sure once we've settled in I'll feel better." She assured him but he narrowed his eyes at her unconvinced.

"Well," He relented a little "Come on, I'll make us something to eat."

-xx—O—xx-

As the sun set on Vancouver Hobbs waited on the Normandy for Shepard to return.

The rest of the crew had made it back, some worse for wear, reporting that Shepard had wandered off with the lieutenant and no one had seen her since. She had given them all two days of shore leave while docked at Earth, so it wasn't a breach of protocol for her to go missing for a while – she was entitled to time off too – it was the company she had chosen that irked Hobbs.

He had commandeered the cockpit, sending Joker to the mess to spend time with the rest of the crew. As reluctant as he had been the pilot needed the company, better company than Hobbs whose mood felt sour now he sat alone, nursing a glass of brandy in his lap.

His feet were up on the dash of the Normandy, crossed at the ankles and idly he flexed the muscles in his thighs waking them from sleep gently. He had lost count of the hours he had been sitting and his body was beginning to feel stiff.

With a flurry of movement his omnitool blazed into life, the orange glow casting his pensive features in stark relief as he browsed through his personal files. Idly he selected one that he had seen a thousand times before; slowly the image shivered as a video began to buffer, the same video he had watched before each and every suicide mission he had been sent on in the last 10 years.

"Haha!" A voice, female and bright sounded before the picture focused, the camera dotting at grass then up at bright sky and finally to his own face, only much younger – leaner and with a few less lines. Bronzed by the sun, his hair was a little longer, bleached light brown and hanging in his eyes as he smiled coyly at the camera, waving a hand at it playfully.

"Put that down Tempy before you hurt yourself." He joked and he heard her laugh, like music as the camera wobble again barely holding on to his face as she stepped back, the picture bouncing with each movement.

"Shut up." She complained, turning the camera awkwardly to face herself, blue eyes filled the screen, eyes he knew he would never forget "I want something nice to watch while you're gone." She added, the camera swinging back round to him.

"I'm not dancing." He said firmly and again that laughter peeled into the afternoon sky; this time he smiled, wedging himself onto a low wall as he watched her. He remembered they were at a library on Arcturus, she had insisted on making a recording before he had been sent on his first mission.

"Alright." She said, "Tell me about yourself Hobbs." The camera zoomed into his face as he shook his head, looking away off to the distance, and then it zoomed out again, grazing his torso and his hips before focusing back on him as a whole "Tell me something I've not heard before – something new, for the video."

He watched himself hesitating, almost feeling that same overwhelming panic he had felt that day when she had asked that. It was difficult to watch; seeing his mistakes as clear as day, reliving them in painful clarity before his eyes.

"Uh…" In the video he moved his shoulders, his shirt wrinkling as he moved "I've won sixteen all you can eat hotdog competitions in my life – two of them on this very station." He smiled playfully at the camera – at her – as she giggled "I've… never ate haggis… don't like the stuff." Again his pauses were punctuated with more giggling, the camera shaking unsteadily as she took a step toward him. He sighed, hesitating, as if searching for more information. He remembered it had been hard – by then they had known a lot about each other, and almost nothing at the same time.

"Do you love me?" She asked, and as his video-self froze he felt it still him in the moment too, blue-green eyes coming sharply to the camera as he cleared his throat with a half cough half groan.

"I don't mean to put you on the spot-" She rushed, her voice gentle and probing "But I wanted to ask before you go… you know…"

He rubbed the back of his neck, looking out toward the great lakes of Arcturus, chewing his lip as he ran over his thoughts. "Do I love you?" He asked, the words suspended in time still as he watched the moment pass before him.

"Let me think…" He cleared his throat "Every night I go to bed and I think about you." He stopped, coming toward the camera until his body blackened the screen with its proximity; the glare of the artificial sun hit the lens as the camera was turned this way and that, finally resting on the wall where he sat it, the angle was off – but he could still see himself and Abigail at the left corner – saw himself move to her, cup her face in both his hands gently as he ran his fingers through the silken softness of her long dark hair.

"Every morning I wake up and I can't wait to see you." He added, kissing the cherry of her lips gently "Yeah." He nodded "I love you. Probably more than you can love a person – or should love a person Tempy."

She grinned, pressing her forehead to his as she drew teeth back over her lip "And how do you think I feel about you?" She asked coyly.

"I think you're excited about the hot dog thing." He grinned "And I think you've also been dying to spend the night with me for some time now."

Scolding she shook her head "It's daytime." She mumbled, and he kissed her again, a little more hungrily this time.

"No, t'was no lark you heard m'love – t'was the owl." He whispered, quoting Shakespeare as she giggled, her arms coming around his neck as he pressed his mouth to her throat. "Come on, let's go and get some lunch. We can do this video thing later."

He kissed her again, letting her out of his arms for her to go and collect the camera. It turned up to her beautiful face – upside down as she pressed the button – the screen going black in an instant.

He closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the headrest as he let those memories wash over him. They never had done more video, by the time night fell they had been preoccupied with… other things to worry about besides a video. He had found the recording in a box of belongings she had dropped off at his apartment when everything was said and done – he had never let it go since.

He wasn't hanging on to the past; not really. He knew that Shepard was bound to move on, had moved on, and he accepted that – or at least some part of him did. After all he had plenty – probably more – company over the years. He smiled knowing too well that just because he didn't spend a night alone didn't mean he wasn't lonely.

No one had filled his arms like Abigail Shepard had.

Movement behind him caught his attention and he drew his feet down expecting to see the Commander in the doorway. Instead Liara – the Asari doctor – hesitated unsure on the threshold.

"I wasn't sure if you were alone." She said quietly "I thought you might appreciate some company."

Awkwardly Hobbs gestured to the co-pilot seat, finishing his drink before setting the glass on the dash. "Sure." He shrugged "Why not?"

Gingerly she sat, and he relaxed back into the seat again, watching her from the corners of his eyes. He didn't like Asari as a rule – there was something unusual about them that was unsettling; so close to being human and yet so far apart from them – and they tended to have a superiority that got his back up.

"You seem close to the Commander…" She said openly "If you don't mind me saying. Did you know her before the Normandy?"

Hobbs narrowed his eyes at her, the question too direct and specific to be random. He rolled the words over in his head. The tone used was friendly – but too friendly, applied friendliness. Gently probing; which appeared to be her nature – but there was an undertone of something else there – genuine curiosity and interest – yes, interest. Romantic interest.

Blinking he smiled, the ways of Asari were no news to him so he was unsurprised the doctor found the Commander attractive; she seemed the impressionable sort and Shepard could leave quite a lasting one on even the hardiest of hearts.

"I did." He said gently, watching her face carefully as her brow furrowed in mutual disappointment and frustration. "We… we knew each other very well at one time." He said, unable despite trying hard, to keep the melancholy from his voice.

"What happened?" Liara asked, her large blue eyes resting on his and he shrugged, not wanting to get into it with a stranger, but at the same time realising this could be an opportunity to purge the memories from him; like venom from a wound.

"It's a bit of a story." He said quietly, picking at the material of his jeans. "I met her when she was on Arcturus." He said carefully, grinding each word out of him like flour from a mill; rubbed to dust between the beats of his heart as he recalled each detail of their painful history "She had just graduated from the Biotic Academy… I think they were celebrating that – I can't be sure. I just remember seeing her." He smiled "She was a bit different then; feistier. Wild."

He cleared his throat, sitting straighter in the chair as he remembered who he was talking to "I took a job – well a mission. One I was given the opportunity to select my own team; of course by then Shepard and I were almost inseparable and so she was my first choice, before I even knew the details I had chosen Shepard as my first in line. She wanted it too – she wanted to serve and it smacked of promise, getting in on missions like that was a sure-fire way to climb ranks and she was eager in those early days. She wanted to succeed."

He paused smiling as he remembered that fire in her, that passion "It was then I found out the details. Our life expectancy was below 20% - I know you're not Alliance but generally most missions have a survival rate of about 75-90%, so below 20%... well you're talking a suicide mission."

He looked to her seriously "I made a mistake. Well, not really, I told Shepard she was off the team. Half way to the rendezvous point I set her down on a planet and told her to make her way back to Arcturus. I never did give her a reason, I guess in my absence she invented her own – but it was to protect her. I couldn't go through her dying…" He shook his head "I left her credits enough to get back… but something went wrong."

He smiled "I survived the mission – the only survivor I might add – and got a call from Anderson to say she had ran into some trouble. That she was stranded on some kind of island somewhere and he wanted me to move in and pull her out. I still don't know what happened to her, she never would tell me what happened. I had told her she probably wouldn't see me again, when I pulled her out of that island she was surprised to see me but by then…" He moved his shoulders "By then we were both very different people. And Shepard doesn't forgive easily. Being cut from the team, being cast aside – those were things she couldn't just forget about… I guess I didn't think about it like that until… well until recently actually. Makes a lot more sense when I see it like that."

"You don't seem too crushed about it though?" Liara smiled, watching him carefully.

"I have no reason to be." He said simply "For the time she was mine she gave me so much to my life, I can't be anything but grateful. Bitterness has a way of eating a person, leaving only a shell in its wake, and I could never be bitter about what we had." They shared a smile as he explained his reasoning. He was right though, he knew that in his heart. There was no point in wallowing in a fit of depression about what he'd lost. He would always love Shepard; he could feel it like fire inside himself.

"Well" Liara noted with a glint in her eyes "That is a rather refreshing perspective." He was grateful for her kindness. She didn't seem as bad as his impression of Asari but then again that wasn't such a surprise. The Alien races represented on this ship were breaking down the negative stigma that had been attached to them block by block. He shrugged.

"Way it is, is the way it is. She's moved on and I can respect that…"he flashed a grin "Can't say her taste in men has improved though."

"Hmm." Liara agreed precociously "I always thought Alenko was… well… I thought his interest moved more toward men than women."

Hobbs chuckled "I know right?" He shook his head "Glad I wasn't the only one that thought that."

They shared a quiet laugh together before Liara got to her feet "Would you like to join us all in the mess? I think you would be quite welcome."

He considered the offer and inclined his head "I think I'm going to wait here." He said, but the thanks was in his eyes as she smiled "In case Shepard staggers in. I'll be by in a little while." He promised, musing over how quickly the ship had grown on him. It felt almost like a family.

Almost like a home.

-xx—O—xx-

Kaidan watched her as she barrelled forward, laughing uncontrollably as she tried to keep her wine glass turned in the right direction. Her giggling tapered into an ungainly snort that had him laughing alongside her, so hard in fact he felt his eyes sting with tears as he held his ribs, leaning back into the sofa.

The sound was melodious to him; more wonderful than any other he had ever heard. She tried to speak, her mouth opening and closing as her breath hitched and squeaked through shuddering breaths. That wine glass wobbled profusely as she pressed a hand to her abdomen, still the laughter coming from her in great waves.

As it died down and she finally gained some measure of control again she shook her head, wiping her eyes dry as she took a drink of her wine "I remember that." She said dangerously close to fits of laughter again "Was it really that long ago?" She asked, her voice wavering and thick as she fought to dispel any humour from it that threatened to overwhelm her once more.

"We had just set off for Dr T'Soni. I think it was only Tali and Garrus on board with us." Kaidan said, leaning his head back into the couch as she brought her feet up onto his legs. She had winched down the sofa a bit so her backside rested against his thigh – something he found mildly distracting, but even more so with her feet in his lap.

"And Wrex." Shepard added with a bemused smile "He didn't get it." She moved her shoulders "The whole thing was Ashley's idea though – there was no way we were letting you turn 32 without some kind of shenanigans. I was on board for the whole stealing your towel business – the jamming the lock on the crew door and hiding your clothes? All Ashley."

Kaidan smiled, remembering the gunnery chief's face filled with exuberant delight as she had come across him with nothing but a commandeered cap and datapad to cover his extremities. It had been a birthday best forgotten to be sure.

"God I miss her." He said, unable to keep the melancholy from his voice as he glanced to Shepard's blue eyes. They were watching her glass, misting briefly with fond memories as she nodded her agreement.

"To Ash." She said, raising the glass. He inclined his head, tapping the stem with his own glass of Canadian Lager.

"To Ash." He repeated, and they both took a long, silent drink in contemplation.

She leaned to the side, setting her glass precariously on the small round coffee table before running her hands through the lengths of her dark hair. She had unpinned it since the ceremony and the wind outside had buffeted it into smooth curves that fell around her in waves. In this light he could see the honey-gold highlights and the darker, almost red hues that ran deep.

She had removed her Alliance jacket, it lay crushed beneath her back against the armrest of the sofa and she sat now in a thin blouse, the Alliance logo sewed into the breast pocket in blue thread. Her heels lay abandoned under the table, and her feet in his lap he noticed were without stockings, which meant her legs – as he allowed his eyes to wander over their length – were bare too.

"So," He said, tearing his eyes from her body to look at her face as she regarded him with a small smile "There is one room I haven't shown you yet." He said, uneasiness creeping into his voice and he cleared his throat trying to quell the anxiousness he felt.

"Your bedroom?" She asked, raising an eyebrow at him in a manner that set his heart thundering in his chest.

"My bedroom." He confirmed with a lopsided smile "Now, I can show you it… but remember I was a teenager when I was last here – so some of the stuff… ask me questions." He said finally "Don't assume anything while we're in there."

She laughed at his bashfulness and it made his blush deepen, it was true he had not seen his room for years – much of his time visiting was spent in Alaska with his whole family; it was rare for him to be in Vancouver long enough to pay his parent's a personal visit to their home. For all he knew his room could now be a gym – but he liked to think he knew his mother better than that.

It went back to his days at BAaT training when she promised him he would always have a room to come home to if he needed it – it was a solemn promise she still kept apparently. Shepard moved eagerly from her seat, getting to her feet and adjusting her blouse, unbuttoning the first few buttons and pulling it down for comfort – but it was the sudden appearance and swell of her bosom through that thin material that gave him pause and try as he might to be a gentleman about the moment he knew he was staring, and was vaguely aware that his mouth was open.

"You need a stim there Kaidan?" She asked, and he pulled his eyes back to hers as he got to his feet, she was smiling though and so seemed to have taken his preoccupation with her assets as a compliment. Something he was grateful for.

"No." He said, coughing to hide his awkwardness "Just… no – I was…" He decided to let it go, smiling instead as he gestured toward the living room door that led back out into the main foyer of the house. She smiled, moving back into the hallway before him and starting the stairs.

As he followed her he watched her hips swaying under the blue skirt, wondered briefly if it was an exaggerated movement to catch his attention – if it was it worked, and not only had his attention but had his blood rising too.

She stopped at the peak of the stairs, glancing over her shoulder to him as he came up behind her.

"It's the door on the right." He said quietly and following his instruction she approached the door gingerly.

The internal doors were old fashioned, much like his parents, and she seemed to pause momentarily wondering what to do with it. Slowly she turned the handle, pushing the door inward as she craned her head inside before her body with eager confidence.

He moved in behind her, breathing a sigh of relief as he noticed immediately his mother had cleaned and rearranged some of his belongings – it looked less like a geek's den and more like a studiously, clean academics room; he wondered briefly which Shepard would have preferred.

She moved into the room, turning in a small circle as she took in everything.

The double bed was to the far wall, running under a row of windows all of which still had security mesh on them that glinted through the glass like thin green capillaries. His desk was cluttered with stacks of books, old stickers from comics, his various awards and accolades from school and beyond.

His wardrobe was built into the wall beside the bed and he moved to it, jamming the door open a little to peer inside. It was still full of his old clothes that he had left behind, the helmet of his football gear sat on the top shelf and he smiled fondly as he ran his fingers along the face guard. He felt Shepard behind him as she peered beyond him to the contents.

Pulling an old hooded sweatshirt free and some jeans he tossed them to the bed, glancing at her as she reached forward, running her fingers through the clothing.

"Can I borrow this?" She asked, pulling free his old high school jersey – the Vancouver Vipers logo emblazoned over the grey front. "Just… you know, so I can get out of this get up?"

He smiled, "Sure, you can have it. Be lucky if it would fit me now anyway."

She seemed pleased, turning the jersey to look at the logo on the front with glee. "You were into football?" She asked, her eyebrows rising in surprise "I did not expect that from you."

He smiled, turning to the clothes on his bed as he glanced gingerly behind him before unbuttoning the shirt quickly. Swapping in favour of the jersey he immediately felt better – more relaxed; more himself as he dropped his smart trousers and took up the jeans instead.

When he turned Shepard was in his sweatshirt, her back to him she was still picking through the contents of his wardrobe. He tried to hide the swell of pride he felt seeing her in his clothes – it was almost as though she were making a statement; that she was with him. As much of a public acknowledgement he had had from her so far.

"What's that?" She asked and he flinched startled out of his thoughts as he came to her side and looked to where she was pointing.

"Oh." He grimaced "That's my guitar…"

She looked to him, her hand flapping his shoulder "You play guitar?" She asked, shaking her head "How do I not know that about you?"

He moved his shoulders "It's a thing I picked up in BAaT," He admitted "They used to make us attend these group sessions once a week and it was something I was never great at – so instead they encouraged me to write it all down; to make it music – to get it out… it's stupid…" He sighed, feeling his face colour as she watched him carefully "And I just.. kept it going."

She smiled "I've never seen you play on the Normandy." She said frowning.

"I never play publicly." He said with dramatic reverence "No way. I dabble a bit on my downtime, when the crew quarters are empty." He shrugged "Come here, I want to show you the best place in the house."

She turned with him and he crossed the room to the only window on the west side of the house. Jimmying it open he clambered out carefully onto the porch roof, turning to take her hand and help her out beside him.

He could see the wonder spread over her face as she smiled, taking in the ocean beyond. The wind caught her hair as she grinned, reaching over to touch his face absently. He kissed the heel of her hand gently, taking her fingers in his own as he gathered her into his arms and holding her there they leaned back against the frame of the house, watching the sun slowly sink lower in the sky.

-xx—O—xx-

The sun had long ago gone down and now the stars were out winking down on her as she watched them with envy. With her knees tucked inside the sweater she had stolen from Kaidan's wardrobe she sat on the porch roof, the balmy breeze lifting her hair off her neck as she watched the waves undulate under moonlight.

The light behind her came from his bedroom window, and it darkened briefly as he reappeared, more drinks in hand. He handed them to her and she set them down carefully as he climbed back out beside her.

"It really is a beautiful place." She said as he settled once again "How can you leave this behind?"

He moved his shoulders, his expression unreadable as he set about opening the liquor tubes for them "This isn't my home anymore." He said carefully "It's where my parents are… but it's not my home."

"Your home is the apartment on the Citadel?" She asked, accepting the drink with gratitude.

He shook his head, which surprised her as he took a long drink "Nope." He shrugged "I consider my home to be the Normandy."

She smiled, shaking her head "That is a nice sentiment, but it's not really your home is it? Not like it is mine…" She continued quickly as his eyes came to hers, worried he would read meaning into the words – meaning she didn't want to discuss "I mean you have family here. Isn't that where your home is?"

"The Normandy is the only place I can relate that feeling to; you know, the feeling of coming home." He moved his shoulders "My family will always be here, but that's not my life anymore."

"You're very lucky." She said thickly, trying to keep her voice devoid of emotion "To have that choice." She must have failed because he smiled painfully at her, picking at the hem of his jeans as he worked over what to say next. She could almost hear the gears grinding. Grasping for a way to lighten the mood she raised her hands letting them slap on her legs again as they dropped.

"Play me something." She said and the suddenness of the statement made him jerk.

"What?" He asked, genuinely confused.

"Play me something." She said again, this time with a smile "On your guitar."

He immediately shook his head, taking another drink "I don't… I think bringing you here has been a big enough mistake never mind adding my wailing to the mix." He chuckled.

"Come on," She badgered "please?"

Reluctantly he sat his drink down and disappeared once more through the window returning a few moments later with his guitar in one hand. Settling himself cross-legged he strummed gently on the strings, grimacing at the sound that filtered into the night air. He paused, turning and twisting tuning knobs at the head of the guitar as he tested each string individually.

"I'll play you something." He said idly as he worked "Something I wrote only a few weeks ago – but…" He hesitated, looking at her carefully "You have to promise not to laugh at me."

Despite the seriousness in his look she found herself giggling at him and he narrowed his eyes at her "I will." She promised "I mean I won't laugh. I promise."

"You better not." He chuckled, running his fingers over the stings again, this time the noise was melodic and sweet and he paused, ceasing the strings by placing his palm over the sound hole. "Please don't laugh." He said again, this time a little more sheepish and she wrestled the grin down to put him more at ease.

"I won't." She said sincerely this time, managing to keep the humour from her face.

He looked at her almost suspiciously, before wriggling to get comfortable, the fretboard resting on his knee as he positioned his fingers along the starting notes.

"Ok." He breathed and began, strumming gently as he tested the tune – it sounded slow, beautiful and then stopped abruptly as he made a mistake, cursing himself as he caught his breath; but he wouldn't meet her eyes she noticed. "Alright." He tried again, the music starting once more.

This time it gained a little speed, a little rhythm as he relaxed, his shoulders dropping as he watched his fingers on the fretboard move with each chord. The sound was beautiful, buffeted by the roar of the surf in the background. When he did start to sing she was unprepared for how good it sounded; his rough tone lent itself well to the acoustic accompaniment, but still he kept his eyes downcast, colour blossoming on the apples of his cheeks as he started the first verse:

"_So many nights trying to hide it  
But now I stay awake just pleading for more…  
To think this heart was divided  
I'm losing sleep 'cause I can't ignore_

_Hearing your voice all around  
The last place we are going is down  
I'll gladly follow  
knowing you're leading the way"_

He glanced to her taking a deep breath for the chorus:

"_Find me, here in your arms  
Now I'm wondering where you've always been  
Blindly, I came to you  
Knowing you'd breathe new life from within_

_I can't get enough of you"_

She felt herself blush as his eyes finally did come to hers, the music filling the silence as he continued to play, but the sincerity in his eyes was overwhelming and she felt every word as he smiled briefly.

"_With you in time  
There's nothing else  
My life stands still  
You are the will that makes me strong  
Make me strong  
If ever alone in this world I know I'll always…_

Find me, here in your arms  
Now I'm wondering where you've always been  
Blindly, I came to you  
Knowing you'd breathe new life from within  
You sleep, here in my arms  
Where the world just shuts down for a while  
Blindly, you came to me  
Finding peace and belief in this smile  
Find some peace and belief in this smile

_Find some peace and belief in this smile"_

The music tapered off, the last few chords slow and beautiful as he turned his eyes back to the guitar

"_Can't get enough of you"_

As he whispered the last line he leaned into her, pressing his lips to hers gently and she could barely contain the swell of emotions that bubbled inside her, threatening to spill out.

She heard the clunk of the guitar as it slid from his lap, his body turning toward hers as his hand slid into her hair. His other hand pressed into the curve of her waist, even through the thick cotton of his jersey she could feel the heat of him, and gently he coaxed her body down leaning above her on one elbow.

"I've waited a long time to get to you like this." He said quietly, his dark eyes glittering with mischief as he gave her a playful smile.

"Oh really?" She teased, her fingers twirling around the lace tie from inside the lining of his hooded jersey "To get me like what?" She prodded gently.

He smiled, his face colouring a little as he cleared his throat and avoided her gaze "I… I'm not so great at this Shepard…" He mumbled "I'm a little out of practice."

She gave a throaty laugh "I think you could have had more practice if you were paying attention." She said gently "There are a lot of ladies with broken hearts tonight."

"Only one heart I care about." He countered smoothly, kissing her gently "I don't… it's not something I get into lightly." He gave her a lopsided smile, sweeping her hair from her eyes "If I play Shepard, I play for keeps."

Shepard took a deep breath "It's a good thing I aim to fall then."

He paused, regarding her carefully, but his expression was unreadable. At last he looked to the roof just beside her head, just enough to avoid her gaze as he nodded.

"I'll be honest that Hobbs makes me nervous." He said gently "I'm not… bursting with charm here Abigail… not like he is anyway – and I know you two have history. I get that. I just need to be sur-"

"Kaidan." She said firmly, drawing those dark orbs back to her as she shook her head gently "I had history with Hobbs. _Had._" She took a careful breath, steadying her emotions as she tried to express as much honesty in her voice as she could muster "You're right. I loved him once; crazy in love. But Hobbs broke my trust, and I can never go back on something like that – you of all people should know that about me."

He looked at her for a long time before nodding slowly "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

Abigail shook her head "It doesn't matter what happened now. I can't regret any of it – it brought me to the Normandy. To this mission." She caught her breath "To you." Sliding her fingers up his neck she grazed the implant port at the base of his skull and gripped his hair at the crown, relishing the way it felt in her hands "I love you Kaidan." She blurted, altogether terrified by the moment.

She had thrust herself out there, open and vulnerable she stood naked in front of him and waited, holding her breath as he blinked mutely at her.

He didn't say anything; instead he leaned into her, pressing his mouth to hers gently as he coaxed her lips apart teasingly. Almost instantly the kiss intensified, his tongue darting into her mouth as she clung to him. Her heart began to race wildly, the blood rushing through her head making her feel dizzy with excitement and anticipation.

With a noise of – she couldn't be sure, a groan mixed with some kind of desperate plea – Kaidan crashed against her, planting wet, sucking kisses on her throat and shoulders. His hand, at the bottom of her jersey began to move lower, grazing her knee, fingers tucking under the hem of her skirt and then slowly, inexorably they began to flutter up her thigh.

"Oh." She whispered, and his mouth came back to hers, the feverish kisses becoming almost unbearable as his fingers graced the line of her briefs. She crushed her eyes closed, holding onto him, inwardly cursing herself for wearing such big underwear – but then she had not been expecting _this_ when she got dressed this morning. Pressing herself toward him she whispered his name against his hot lips and he responded with a groan, pulling back gently as his hand slid round to her hip, anchoring her lower half away from his.

"Wait." He said softly, but his voice was strained and husky and when she pulled back to look in his eyes they looked pained "Wait a sec." He said again taking a deep breath.

She wriggled under him, pressing her hand to the side of his face as she smiled "What's wrong?" She asked genuinely confused. He was roasting hot to touch and judging by his breathing and the tenseness against her she knew he was as ready as she was to tear her clothes off – and yet when she looked at him his expression said otherwise.

"Nothing." He swallowed "Nothing's wrong Abigail… I really want to do this… but…" He closed his eyes "I think we should wait." He said at last.

Abigail blinked "Wait for what?"

At that he smiled, kissing her gently "We've had a fair bit to drink tonight." He said quietly, gently "and while I want nothing more than to lie here with you all night there is two distinct problems with that plan." He smiled playfully as he propped himself on one elbow again over her "Firstly, we are on the roof – not an ideal place for that kind of thing."

She gave a breathless laugh as she considered his reasoning. It could make for interesting neighbour talk.

"Secondly," He continued "when that moment comes Shepard I want us both to be clear headed. I just feel… I want you to be sure – because I want to go for it; I'm ready for everything…. But I need to be sure you are too." He paused a moment "I want us to be thinking clearly for that – I want to give you the night you deserve rather than a half drowsy attempt."

With the last he gave her a slow smile, dipping his head and kissing her deeply again.

"I love you, Abigail."


	16. Chapter 16

Title: Ilos - Prologue  
Author: DinkyMew  
Game: Mass Effect (One)  
Disclaimer: Bioware own all characters and content related to the Mass Effect Franchise. Abigail Shepard is my own creation inspired by the character Jane Shepard created by Bioware. Any original characters contained herein are my own creations and are not necessarily affiliated with Bioware.  
Characters Featured: Abigail Shepard; Kaidan Alenko; Argyle Hobbins 'Hobbs'; Donnell Udina

When Shepard woke it was to sunlight pouring through a bedroom window she didn't recognise.

Freezing, she forced her eyes to open against the glare, and for a moment she was nothing but a survivor in unknown terrain – a situation that crept up on her more often than she liked. For one heartbeat she thought she was back on that island – but her hands were not bound, and as her senses came back to sharp reality she saw the familiar desk across from the bed she lay on, the stacks of books and comics, her skirt had been lifted from the floor and folded neatly beside them.

At last allowing herself to breathe she remembered she was in Kaidan's house. They had crawled into bed early morning and fell asleep crushed together – her in his old football jersey and him in nothing but a tank top and grey jogging bottoms. Quite the gentleman.

As her heart began to slow to a regular pace she pushed herself onto her elbow, still expecting to find him curled protectively behind her, but the other half of the bed was empty. Frowning she swung her legs out onto the plush blue carpet and unsteadily got to her feet.

There was noise downstairs, the sound of clattering and banging that had her hands rummaging her person looking for her weapon long before she remembered she hadn't been carrying one. Scrambling low to the ground she searched Kaidan's dress trousers form yesterday, still abandoned on the floor – but they had nothing.

Crouching low she opened the door a sliver to peer outside into the hallway. Why hadn't he woken her? She had known all along it was a bad idea to stay put for the night – she had learned long ago you had to keep moving. The minute you stayed still was the minute the enemy would swoop down upon you.

Quietly she crept to the stairs, the sound of clattering getting louder with each step she took, crouched against the bannister she rounded the post, unlocking the front door to allow an escape route as she moved stealthily onward.

Gently she lifted the metal frame from the small table at the foot of the stairs, glancing over a family photo of Kaidan in his Alliance uniform with an older man and woman she could only assume were his mother and father. It was a crude weapon, but it was sturdy.

The clattering ahead came from the kitchen, and amidst the noise she heard a cry – Kaidan – and the sudden signal of life had her feet running before she knew what she was really doing. Skidding to a halt at the kitchen door, her bare feet squeaking on the green linoleum, she rounded the corner prepared to face off whoever held him captive – prepared to finish whoever had disturbed their time together.

At the stove, a pan in one hand suspended over the hob plate, Kaidan blinked stupidly at her, his eyes moving from her face to the picture frame held above her head ready to strike or throw and back to her face once more.

"Uh…" He smiled "Morning?" His eyes stayed on her face a moment longer before running down the length of her pausing at her legs and lingering a moment before he cleared his throat, suddenly a little flustered as he tried to look everywhere else but at her legs again. She followed his gaze, pulling at the bottom of the jersey shyly as she realised it came to just below the line of her briefs leaving copious amounts of leg exposed.

Feeling heat explode on her face Abigail flustered into the kitchen "Oh… I…" She cleared her throat "I was just… I mean." She sighed "I forgot where I was." She admitted at last.

"Occupational hazard, I suppose." Kaidan teased, turning from her with the pan still in his hand.

As her heart began to slow its pace once more she took in the surroundings. The smell of bacon permeated the kitchen and made her stomach growl angrily. Wedging herself onto one of the bar stools at the island counter she sat the frame aside, turning her attention to Kaidan. From where she sat she could see his Alliance tattoo just stretch beyond the line of his white tank top as she moved.

Tipping the pan into the sink he turned with two plates, setting one in front of her and the other at the other side of the small counter. Without breaking stride he moved to the fridge collecting a large glass jug of fruit juice and two glasses before he took a seat himself across from her.

She glanced down at her plate: hashbrowns, scrambled egg, sausages, bacon and a slice of toast staring back at her invitingly.

"Did you sleep well?" Kaidan asked, tucking into his meat with knife and fork.

Abigail smiled "I did." She said, piling scrambled egg onto the slice of toast eagerly "Surprisingly so." She added after a beat "I half expected you to wake me in the middle of the night."

Kaidan looked at her questionably, his face in motion as he chewed "Why?" He asked, his brow creasing in thought.

Shepard reached for the orange juice pouring them both a glass before tucking into her slice of toast.

"I just thought you would." She said absently, smiling at him as he watched her. Finally he got the message and colour began to spread over his face as he cleared his throat, dropping his eyes back to his breakfast.

"Oh." He said awkwardly "I… well…" He moved his shoulders "Chivalry and all that I guess."

She chuckled, enjoying watching him squirm as he tried to focus on his breakfast suddenly "Can I ask you something?" She said at last, tucking a rasher of bacon into her mouth "And you have to be honest."

He looked at her carefully, but there was a firm confidence in his eyes as he nodded, holding her gaze "Of course." He said "I'll always be honest with you Abigail."

"Are you a virgin Kaidan?"

His eyes went wide as he choked on his breakfast, hammering a closed fist into his chest as he spluttered "What?" He shook his head "Why?"

Shepard smiled "I'm sorry," She said sweetly "But I have never spent the night in a guy's bed and have him not try something…" She pushed egg around her plate as she moved her shoulders "I was thinking about it, and it's either that you are too scared to try something – or you don't want to." She looked at him carefully "Have you ever had sex Kaidan?"

He made a noise, almost a squeak of disbelief "Yes." He said stabbing egg with his fork "I've had sex."

When he didn't elaborate she kept her face carefully expressionless as she asked "With someone or…?"

He looked at her then, dark eyes lingering somewhere between amusement and embarrassment as he moved his shoulders "Well…" He sighed "Is that really important anyway?"

"No!" She insisted "I think it would explain a lot about you." She added after a moment to which he gave her a pained expression.

"That fills me with confidence." He muttered sarcastically "Did I do something… wrong?"

She laughed, eating some more as she shook her head "No. But how does a guy like you get to 32 without having taken someone to his bed?"

He avoided her gaze as he polished off his breakfast, standing to put his dish in the sink "Well," He wiped his mouth idly "You know what it's like." He said carefully "Biotics are... well, we're not the top of the pick list, let's just say that." He said gently "we're still considered freaks… by a lot of people. And I was never good at – uh – at talking. To people. Especially women." He sighed "And plus work never really let time for – you know, I'm not the kind of guy who can just let loose over a weekend." He rubbed the back of his neck nervously, turning and giving her a hard look and a small smile "Why? What's your number at? You some kind of expert Shepard?" He prodded, raising his chin a little.

Abigail blanched, it was her turn to blush as she shook her head "Not at all." She said carefully.

"Well, you hardly get to ask me those kinds of questions without answering them yourself." He huffed "Come on, what's your number."

Shepard moved her shoulders "It's one, Alenko."

"One?" He asked, genuine surprise creeping into his voice "Well, that's not _that_ much better than me." He smiled.

"Yeah," She pushed her plate away "Feel better?"

"I feel curious." He countered smoothly, collecting her plate for her and depositing it in the sink "Was he alliance?"

Abigail raked her fingers through her hair "He is."

"He _is_." Kaidan smiled, it was a game now, one he was obviously enjoying "Well thank god it's not Hobbs." He joked, grinning at her. When her expression didn't change his face dropped "Is it?" Before she could answer he swallowed "Oh god, it is isn't it?"

"It was." She said at last, moving to the sink and turning on the taps "a long time ago."

"Well, that is the biggest regret of my life to date." Kaidan said gently, coming to her side as she began to wash the dishes.

"What?" She asked, looking up at him "Why?"

He watched her wash the plates, and for a moment she thought he wasn't going to say anything but then he took a breath, taking a plate from her as he dried it briskly with a tea-towel.

"Because… could you get two more diametrically opposing people? I'm… nothing like him – not even close Abigail. Why would you…" He swallowed, turning to put the plate away "Why would you even be with me when you could be with someone like him."

It wasn't a question, more a broken statement as he turned back to her with a small smile.

"Kaidan…" She sighed "I was young, and he was… if it makes you feel any better Hobbs has been with a lot of women."

"Oh." Kaidan said in a small voice "Yeah that just fills me with confidence Shepard."

She laughed, nudging him with her elbow "No! What I mean is, I hardly think I was special to him." She sighed, dropping the dish back into the sink as she turned to him "It wasn't like what you and I have Kaidan – who cares if you are like Hobbs? You and me, we're the same. Both biotics, both with baggage – both unbelievably stubborn. I love you Kaidan. I don't care if you're a lothario or a varren in the sack." She smiled "As long as when that time comes it's you, that's all that matters."

He watched her a long moment before he dipped his head, kissing her gently.

"I hope so." He said quietly, his expression still tinged with embarrassment as he lifted another dish to dry.

-xx—O—xx-

"Welcome aboard Commander." The soft chirp of the CIC officer broke Hobbs' concentration as he raised his eyes from the console he was working at to see Shepard make her way through the gangway toward the cockpit. He stilled himself, resisting the urge to rush over and check on her.

The truth was that while she had been absent from the Normandy for the better part of two days he knew she would be fine. She always was. So he had to acknowledge to himself that it wasn't worry fuelling his desire to act – it was plain old jealousy.

Before he dropped his gaze Staff Lieutenant Alenko entered, looking as smart as always in his Alliance downs. The same CIC officer saluted him quietly and he returned it before glancing left and right moving carefully along the gangway toward the main heart of the ship. He caught sight of Hobbs, dark eyes looking him over once as he paused, his brow creasing a little.

"I thought you would be long gone." He said, his voice was deeper than Hobbs' and he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his combats.

"I've been given orders to join the Normandy Crew." Hobbs' said, swivelling in the chair to turn and face the Lieutenant "If Commander Shepard wants me here." He added pointedly.

It wasn't lost on Kaidan who visibly bristled at the remark, narrowing his eyes as he weighed the man's words carefully "Has she made a decision?" He asked lightly, almost genuinely curious – but Hobbs knew there was nothing favourable in the tone.

"I thought she would have told you." He said, a smile twitching at the corners of his mouth "I guess she's not as close to you as I thought."

It achieved the desired effect, the Lieutenant straightening slightly as he frowned openly at him. Hobbs allowed himself an internal smile at his good work – but also instantly regretted the action. Despite his flaring jealousy he was happy for Abigail to have found someone; there was just something about Kaidan that made those feelings translate into behaviours seamlessly and it was almost like he couldn't stop it.

To his credit the Lieutenant didn't respond and instead stalked away from Hobbs toward the bow of the ship. He watched him go feeling mildly guilty but put it aside as he swung back around to the busy screen.

"Hobbs." The voice was Shepard's and he stopped, raising his eyes to see her coming from the cockpit. She was dressed in her Alliance blues, the suit jacket slung over her arm was creased as was the blouse she wore and the blue pencil skirt. As she drew closer he noticed that her hair was pinned back loosely, strands hanging down at the back where it was slightly mussed. Her face looked tired and refreshed at once, and when she smiled at him there was a carefree light in her eyes that he had only seen once before.

And this time it wasn't for him.

"So, you ready to come with us?" She asked, stopping beside him and folding her arms under her breasts. He noticed that the top button of her blouse was missing, exposing a little more cleavage than was professional but she was clearly on her way to get changed. He ran his eyes over the length of her – she smelled of the Lieutenant and it made his heart sink a little as he nodded slowly.

"Is that an acceptance?" He asked, raising his eyebrows lightly.

"You sure you can take orders?" She asked sceptically "The Hobbs I remember was pretty much a one-man band." She smiled, her eyes wandering to the bow of the ship where Navigator Pressly held a datapad ready for her. As she turned her neck caught the light off the console revealing a red hue to her skin there, a rash from rough, unshaven skin against her own.

He closed his eyes "I can take orders Shepard." He said cooly and she turned back to him briefly.

"Alright Hobbs, I'm in too good a mood to argue." She said looking at him carefully "Welcome aboard Operative Hobbins." She smiled offering her hand; the static shock he got from accepting it caught him off guard and he flinched inwardly. It wasn't uncommon to gain a static shock from a biotic when they were in the process of charging down.

"I need to go and get changed." She said glancing down at her clothes "Can you round up the crew for a debriefing in the Comm room – then we get back to this mission." With that she was gone as quickly as she had appeared, taking the pad from Pressly as she hurried down the grate walkway toward her quarters.

Ilos

Kaidan was feeling incredibly nervous.

As he glanced around the Citadel Council chamber he was reminded by how small humanity was in the universe, how new and vulnerable they were as a species. Above on the balcony a Turian watched them unwavering, dressed in formal attire he considered how strange it was to see a Turian out of armour.

"Good job Shepard." Udina's voice drew his attention back to the meeting, and he glanced from the Ambassador to the Commander as she shifted uncomfortably "Thanks to you the Council are finally taking some action against Saren."

He didn't look thankful; or happy. Donnell Udina always looked pissed off regardless of circumstance. Dressed in a crisp white suit that made his dark hair stand out in contrast he made an attempt at a smile, but it came over more as a crooked leer that had even Kaidan's lip curling. He didn't much like politicians, but understood more about the game than he let on sometimes.

Across the glass floor on their pedestal the Citadel Council murmured and shifted almost as though they were one being and not three separate representatives of three very different species. The Asari councillor smiled cooly, inclining her head before Shepard could respond.

"The Ambassador is correct is Saren is foolish enough to attack the Citadel - as you believe – we will be ready for him." She said stiffly, beside her the Turian councillor nodded his agreement, clearing his throat gruffly.

"Patrols are stationed at every mass relay linking citadel space to the Terminus Systems."

Kaidan opened his mouth to object, then remembered where he was and closed it again tightly, instead swivelling his gaze to Shepard, but she was already prepping to talk – and he could tell by her expression she was thinking the same thing as he was.

"What about Ilos?" She asked, her face dark and ominous.

The Salarian councillor made a click noise in annoyance, as though they were irritating him and shook his head tiredly at her "Illos is only accessible through the Mu Relay, deep inside the terminus systems, Commander. If we send a fleet in there, the only possible outcome is full scale war."

Shepard took a step forward on the walkway, shaking her head as she caught her breath "No, we have to get to Ilos." She said firmly "Saren is already on his way there, and if he gets the Conduit then we are all screwed. I needed reinforcements to attack Ilos,, not guard mass relays."

This time Udina clears his throat, giving her a cautionary glare as he turns to her "Now is the time for discretion Commander." He said calmly "Saren's greatest weapon was secrecy. Exposed he is no longer a threat." He smiled "This is over."

"It will be over!" Shepard cried, ignoring Udina as she turned back to the council "If Saren gets his hands on that Conduit then we are all screwed. The Reapers wi-"

"Ah yes." The Turian councillor interrupted scathingly "Reapers." He sighed "We have dismissed that claim Commander."

"Then you've doomed us all!" She shouted, pointing a finger at him.

Kaidan swallowed, looking across to where Hobbs stood, his lip pinched between thumb and forefinger as he watched the exchange silently. If he was concerned it didn't show, his face a careful void of expression.

"Ambassador, I get the sense the Commander is not willing to let this go."

Kaidan felt his hands curl to fists at his sides as he fought the urge to move closer to Shepard, to pull her back – the way he always had – as her temper threatened to get the better of her.

Udina turned to her, dropping his voice as he barked "There are serious political implications here, Shepard. Humanity's made great gains thanks to you, but now you are becoming more trouble than you are worth."

"You bastard!" Kaidan blurted, feeling the twinge of his biotics flare as he glared cold fury at the man "You're selling us out!" After everything, after all they had achieved – all they had sacrificed, to come so close and then have it snatched away.

Udina sighed, shaking his head as he turned to face all three quietly "It's just politics Commander you have done your job, now let me do mine. We've locked out all the Normandy's primary systems. Until further notice you are grounded."

Shepard blanched from the sentencing, her face growing darker as she took a menacing step toward him "Nobody stabs me in the back Udina." She breathed "Nobody."

"I think it's time for you and your team to leave Commander, this no longer concerns you. The council can handle this, with my help of course." He smiled coldly, turning his attention back to the Council members.

Ignored Shepard turned from him hotly, her eyes meeting Kaidan's and he expected to see the same despair he felt – but it was absent. Her blue eyes were filled with a hot fury, the likes he had never seen before.

With a cold, calculated pace she stalked from the Citadel chambers.


	17. Chapter 17

_How dare he._

_How fucking dare he._

Commander Shepard stormed into her quarters, yanking her armoured gloves from her hand and throwing them onto the desk that resided in one corner.

She looked at her bed longingly, wishing she could simply curl up there and never wake up again, just let the Reapers roll on through. But even as the thoughts crossed her mind she knew she could never do that.

However dismissive the Council were, however big an ass Udina was she couldn't just stand by and let that happen, even to them. And especially not her crew. People she had come to care for, people who had made sacrifices alongside her, with her, for her – Ashley, who had died for the mission.

Unstrapping her chest plate she opened her armour locker, setting the pieces inside gently. It might be a while before she could use them again.

"Tempy!" The doors opened – not even a knock – and Hobbs entered in a rush. She scowled at him, giving herself a once over to make sure she was appropriately dressed. Still clad in her armoured combats and her favourite grey racer-back she shrugged deciding it was as good as anything else to be wearing, but prevented him from any appreciative glances in areas best avoided.

He was still in his armour, this black lightweight suit he wore, and as he came to a stop beside her he looked almost hesitant, a trait far removed from the usual cockiness of Hobbs.

"I'm sorry." He said at last "I did not expect it to go down that way."

Abigail swung her eyes to him, wondering how exactly he thought the Council would react but decided not to press the matter and instead gave him a small smile "You're best friends with Shastri are you not?" She asked raising her eyebrows "Can you ask the Prime Minister to lift the lock on the Normandy?"

Hobbs looked at her firmly, whistling through his teeth as he raked a hand through his hair "That's… I can _ask_." He said at last "I'm not his best friend Shepard. I'm his agent. Sometimes his personal bodyguard, depends on the mission."

She laughed, surprising herself as well as him that she could find some humour at a time like this "Yeah but, you know him a damn sight better than I do – and I'm guessing he knows you, which could work in our favour."

At that he did smile, that same cheeky grin he always gave her when she made him feel good – usually inadvertently "Is that you admitting you're glad I'm here Shepard?" He prodded and she shook her head tiredly.

"I'm not yet." She said flatly "The lock is still on the Normandy."

His smile dropped and he raised his hands to chest height fending her off "Alright, alright." He said with a chuckle "I get it. Get to work Hobbs right?"

At that she did give him a smile, wide and genuine "See how fast you learn?"

He made to leave turning toward the door "I meant to ask if you had a good shore leave?" He said, the manner was non-committed but Shepard knew better. He was probing for information.

"I did." She said vaguely "Best two days I've had in some time." She added, knowing it had a sting in the tail for him.

He looked back at her, his hands sliding into his pockets, his eyebrows raised in surprise "I didn't know he had it in him." He said simply, and Shepard knew he was referring to the Leuitenant – so he obviously knew _who_ she had spent the two days with. Of course he was assuming they had been getting down and dirty – but in actual fact Kaidan had been nothing but a gentleman; they had spent the days on the beach, at local sights and the evenings eating out and listening to him play guitar late into the night.

"What do you mean by that?" She frowned.

"Well I actually thought he was gay." Hobbs explained wryly "And I know he _said_ he wasn't, but I was still expecting it to come out any day."

Shepard rolled her eyes "I can assure you he's not gay." She said flatly and Hobb's smiled.

"No, no. I get that now. Two days is… well…" He cleared his throat, lacing his tone with sarcasm and mirth as he added "Boy must have stamina."

Shepard sighed, meeting his eyes levelly "Mmm." She retorted "He does." It had the effect she had been hoping for. Hobb's usual confident, mocking demeanour faltered and his forehead creased into a frown of curiosity, but there was no way she was going to answer the question he really wanted to know – and it was a simple one too: Had they slept together?

It was only a one-word answer but she would be damned if she was giving him the satisfaction of knowing that they had not. That Kaidan had been frustratingly polite, but not so reserved about walking around shirtless, making Shepard's head spin wildly – particularly playing volleyball on the beach – which to this moment she knew she would never forget.

The lieutenant's virtue was safely still intact and she was not going to give Hobb's any more ammunition against him knowing now how the Operative made Kaidan feel.

"Is that all?" She asked, arching an eyebrow for good measure. Hobb's made to reply, but from the look on her face he must have realised he wasn't getting anything more from her and instead gave her a small smile.

"I'll get in touch with Shastri." He said quietly "I'll let you know within the hour."

As he turned to leave the Comm crackled into life and a voice came over, nervous but holding tone well.

"Commander?" It was Kaidan, and Hobbs paused to turn a listen as Shepard moved to the speaker at her desk "I was wondering if I could discuss something with you?"

Hobbs gave a laugh "I wonder what that could be." He said sarcastically and Shepard shot him a warning look.

"At least he doesn't just barge in." She said pointedly and pressed the comm button "Sure Lieutenant." She said breezily "Just come in."

A moment later the doors slid open and Kaidan froze, his eyes looking first to Hobbs then to the Commander. He stood just outside her quarters, almost waiting as Hobbs sidled up to him, his hands still in his pockets as he threw his hips, making his walk seem lazy and jaunty.

"We were just talking about you." He said with a grin "Staff Lieutenant."

Kaidan looked at him, blinking placidly as he moved his shoulders "That must have been an enlightening experience for you." He said flatly and Shepard smiled, there was no way Hobb's was going to get a reaction from the man, He could be like stone when he wanted to and she knew that was part of his almost chronically obsessive need to control himself, to prevent another incident like when he killed Vrynnus in anger.

Hobb's didn't press, instead he turned back to Shepard, giving her an obvious wink in full view of the Lieutenant, and despite his usual cool Abigail was sure she could see Kaidan's jaw tense before Hobb's sauntered off. Hopefully to call Shastri she thought idly as she turned her attention to Kaidan once more.

"Shepard…" He hesitated in the doorway, unsure about the protocol now and it amused her as she glanced up from her console. He was stood in the threshold, his foot moving forward and backward as he tried to decide what was a polite and professional entrance – funny how you can kiss a guy and suddenly they don't know what to do with themselves.

"I mean Commander." He corrects himself, absently as he finally steps inside, a datapad clutched between his hands as he glances over his shoulder watching the doors slide closed behind him "I … uh… I don't know if this is a good time…"

She smiled, rolling her eyes as she turned in the seat to face him properly "Spill it Alenko." Shepard smiled "If you're here to talk about the meeting with the council though, save it. I just need some time to work things out."

He frowned at her, as though he had no idea what she was talking about. As though they had not just had their asses handed to them by the Council and that damned Udina.

"Oh." He says and nodded awkwardly "Right. Yeah. Well actually I wanted to –" He paused, striding toward her purposefully and offered the datapad "You remember when you gave me those OSD's?"

Shepard blinked, taking the datapad gently, it was her turn to be surprised "Oh. Right. Yeah." She nodded "Did you break them?"

He looked almost proud of himself "It wasn't too hard, the inscription you were told about – the one that said you had the key; it actually translated as you _were_ the key. Your full name actually. Was the password. Easy if you know how right?"

She looked at him carefully, her blue eyes lighting with mischief "You know my middle name Alenko?"

At that he blushed profusely, his hand creeping to rub the back of his neck awkwardly "I might have come across it ma'am." He muttered.

She set the datapad down and moved her shoulders "So what did it say?" She asked, watching him carefully. Kaidan blinked, gesturing to the datapad as though it were obvious.

"I put the data from all the OSD's on there for you…" He said quietly and she grinned wickedly at him.

"Come on Alenko. You can't lie to me. You read it – no big deal, paraphrase for me. What does it say?"

He looked at her then, almost offended that she would question his integrity, but his charm and waffle fractured and he smiled at her chagrined "I don't know if now is a good time…" He said gently.

"Is it worse than the Council grounding us Alenko?" She prodded and when he didn't answer her brow dropped "Is it?"

"I think that depends." He said, then off her look he sighed, folding his arms over his chest "Alright." He said unhappily "It's records. Some are John Shepard's. Some are this marine… a Lieutenant Stewart Cooper – it looks as though he had these OSD's to protect you somehow. When I broke the encryption it had fingerprints on it, as though someone had been through it before. I think it was him."

"Ok." Shepard said calmly, "So what did he have to protect me from?" She asked confused.

"The Alliance." Kaidan said carefully "Shepard… according to these records you're not… I mean, John Shepard was not your father."

Hobb's was feeling quite sour as he strode into the Comm room, making sure the interior mute was on before he approached the console at the far end. The room was quite large when it was absent the bodies in the chairs and Shepard's larger-than-life presence.

He glanced over his shoulder, not that he was nervous or suspicious someone would be listening in, but because he didn't like people see him answering to anyone. That kind of shit could dog you for the rest of your life if you let it, and he had sworn long ago he would be under the thumb of no-one ever again.

And like most problems in Hobbs' life, it started with a girl.

"_Did you get it?" She whispers and I look at her, large amber eyes watching mine expectantly, on the brink of tears as I haul myself up into the loft, my arms shaking under my skinny frame as I bring my feet up from under me. _

"_I got it." I breathe, careful to stay on the wooden beams of the attic as I make my way over to her. She sits with her legs drawn to her on the wooden door we slid over the beams to provide a seat. I sit beside her, pulling the slice of bread from my pocket and offering the tattered remnants to her like prized jewels. "Told you I could do it." I say proudly._

_She takes it, pulling careful slivers and popping them into her mouth. She offers me some silently, but I decline. I still have a few days left in me before I will need to steal something, in the meantime the less that goes missing the less noticeable it is and the longer I can feed her and Kenzie. _

"_Do you think we'll ever get a home Hobbs?" Trick asks, her thick, uneven fringe falling into her eyes as she sniffs, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. She's sick, I know it – I feel it – deep down and I know there's nothing I can do to stop the impending pneumonia of harsh winter and damp conditions festering in her lungs. _

_I'm scared I might lose her, like I lost Libby last year, and Michael and Daniel the year before. This orphanage puts out more dead children than it does live ones into homes._

"_Sure." I lie to her, looking at her pitiful face, the large golden eyes, the round cherub-like face, the dull, malnourished red ringlets that hang down to her shoulders where they have been unceremoniously chopped to save tedious and time consuming brushing and cleaning. With a clean and a warm bed she could be a pretty thing, she could be someone's daughter, but no one comes to visit us here. _

_And no one wants a child who has reached 7. They want babies. I know that – I'm 14 now and I have seen them come and never go. All ages, the young ones never last long, doesn't matter how hard I try to feed them and how much I bundle them against the cold Scottish winds, they never last more than a few months. _

_I'm sure he likes it that way. Less hassle with a toddler screaming for you every five minutes, not that he ever answered the cries and I couldn't always either. If I were caught abandoning chores to see to a baby I would be beaten to death, and then I would be no help to anyone. But in the darkness they don't look for me, I learned that quickly. Once Duncan has drunk his swill until he can't walk and staggers out the orphanage to his grand home next door he rarely if ever comes back until morning. _

_Night is my time to soothe and protect. At night I can tuck Kenzie onto my knee, his little face lighting when he sees me and I can read to him. I only have one book, although I vary the story for him, but I don't think he cares, he just wants to be held most of the time – I suppose that is normal for a two year old though._

_The hero is always the same though, I make sure of that; a protector, a knight._

_A Paladin._

Hobbs smiled grimly as he opened the console and connected to the Alliance extranet system. Entering his passcodes and the correct extension numbers he waited as the room filled with the whir of lines flicking and connecting.

"Operative?" The voice on the other end was authoritative, deep and laced with a stoic accent. He was used to this address from Shastri, it was the final pass.

"Paladin." He said carefully.

"What do you need Hobbs?" Shastri asked, his tone had changed in an instant, becoming easy – almost charming and light, but never losing that edge of authority.

"Got a problem with a land-lock on the Normandy sir." Hobbs said firmly "Just wondering if you could have it lifted."

There was a long pause, and Hobbs held his breath, leaning his hands on the console as he waited.

"I can do that." Shastri said at last "But it'll take time Hobbs. Udina is an ass, we all know that, but he is also the only ass willing to fight it out on the Citadel surrounded by aliens, so I have to be… tactful. You understand?" He takes a breath, the sound heavy over the speakers "An angry politician I can deal with, a disgruntled and vengeful one, not something you want to leave festering. Leave it with me. The Normandy will be functional tomorrow."

"Aye aye Sir." Hobbs said, there was no need to thank the man for doing his job, but he still had to swallow the words. Over the years he had become very grateful to Shastri for the opportunities he had afforded him.

That was good news at least, they could wait until tomorrow.

He was about to turn when the door opened and Shepard strode in, her gait was purposeful, angry and he racked his brain quickly to see if he could work out the cause of her distress before she was on him. He had nothing.

"Temp-"

"Did you know?!" She screamed at him, and he blinked, glancing behind her to see Kaidan rushing in after her. The Leuitenant came up behind her, his hand going to her shoulder but she slapped it away hotly, squaring against Hobbs in a blazing fury.

"You knew didn't you?!" She asked, her voice high and strained "You were always shifty when I told you about Mindoir Hobbs, you bloody knew!"

He glanced to Kaidan for a clue, but he was too busy trying to get Shepard's attention to even notice.

"What's going on?" He asked, raising his hands in defence, subtly splaying his legs ready to defend himself if she should strike at him.

"John Shepard is not my dad." She ground out, her dark hair whirling round to frame her face "And you _knew."_

With that she does explode, a barrage of fists coming at him in a fury. Hobb's grabbed her hands, but it was a disorganised, emotional attack and he didn't need to use much force to stem the blows. She was sobbing as much as she was screaming at him and he put a leg forward, forcing her back so she had to reach for him.

"Tempy!" He called but she wasn't hearing him, she was blinded by rage and by hurt and by a million other emotions he had no hope of understanding "Alright!" He roared and that gave her pause, her arms ceasing their endless battle against him as she looked at him finally. He could see she was still in denial, could see she was still hoping he knew nothing, that he hadn't deceived her, hadn't lied to her again.

He knew she was about to be disappointed.

"I knew." He said carefully and her shoulders slumped, deflated, disappointed "I knew ok."

She simply stared at him, her blue eyes a mix of grief and horror and beyond wounded and he didn't know what else to say to her.

"You did?" She asked, her voice tiny and whispery as her arms relaxed. He released her and she turned from him, causing Kaidan to stumble back where he stood behind her. The Lieutenant stuffed his hands into his combats, moving to the edge of the room as she made to leave.

"Abby," Hobbs called after her "Wait… I can tell you about it…"

She laughed, but there was no humour in it, it was cold and battered "You know what Hobbs forget it." She said, turning back to him quickly "I have it on the datapad – and I wouldn't want you to risk your precious oath to the Alliance for something as trivial as friendship. Or love."

And then she turned storming from the room once more. After a beat Kaidan moved, shifting his weight uncomfortably.

"For what it's worth I'm sorry." He said quietly "I tried to stop her coming to look for you until she calmed down a little, but…" He shook his head.

Hobbs sighed, sinking to sit in one of the empty seats as he buried his head in his hands "Where did she get those files?" He asked "They are seriously classified. Like serious shit."

Kaidan moved his shoulders "Does it matter? What matters is she has them now. And the truth."

Hobbs considered that a long moment and finally nodded "I guess you're right. I better go and talk to her."

Shepard could hardly breathe. Her hands shook as she lifted the datapad again, glimpsing the screeds of writing she felt her chest seize up painfully. How could she read this now? Who was she? Where did she come from? A million questions filled her head and she felt torn – not sure what scared her more reading these files and finding answers or reading them and still having questions.

She took a breath, steeling herself and lifted the pad carefully.

"Tempy?" Again Hobbs entered without notifying her and this time Shepard was more than a little annoyed about it. Slamming the datapad on her desk she turned to face him hotly, afraid that she wasn't going to be able to keep her emotions in check as she glared at him furiously.

"What?" She barked and he paused, the doors sliding closed with a hiss in the ensuing silence before he sighed, folding his hands in front of him.

"I knew." He said quietly "But it was after we had already met – after we were together, hell it was after you left me." He added pointedly "I… stumbled across it in Alliance archives. I thought I had deleted all the files."

"Deleted?" She shook her head "What the hell is this all about?"

"Ok." He gestured to the bed and she looked at him incredulously before he added "Sit down." With a small smile. Reluctantly she obeyed, sitting on the edge of the bed, her hands curling around her knees as she watched him like a hawk, desperate for answers.

"I… Ok…" He sighed, pacing back and forth, if only to stop himself looking at her face as he told her "The Alliance began to get a bit curious about biotics, and hired a whole bunch of researchers to start looking into the how and why of eezo exposure. John Shepard was amongst the researchers chosen." He swallowed and she watched him as he looked about uncomfortably "I don't know about the other … I don't know the how long or the details… I don't know how many there were – but you were an experiment Tempy. They made you to see how much eezo exposure an embryo could take without dying." He swallowed, watching her face carefully as her eyes moved from his to search the floor instead "At some point in the pregnancy, John Shepard grew a conscience and … well he sent fake files back to the head office, claiming you had no biotic ability and rather than terminate the pregnancy at 20 weeks he and his wife were going to raise you as their own."

Hobbs swallowed, moving to sit next to her on the edge of the bed "He kept your biotics under control by… drugging you… the compound is in the files – in your cereal. Then when you turned fifteen the Alliance started sniffing around you again and so he moved to Mindoir. When they were attacked by Batarians… well your drugs wore off of course."

She was shaking, trembling beside him as she pressed her head into her hands.

"Was any of it real?" She asked brokenly "My mother…"

"Melissa Shepard was your mother Tempy. Your dad was a donor, chosen at random from a bank for the experiment. I don't know anything about him, I'm sorry." He caught his breath "Melissa volunteered to carry you for the experiment. She was a remarkable woman."

When she raised her eyes back to him they were full off tears, "So I'm some kind of freak?" She asked, her voice thin and whispery under her grief.

"You've always been a freak." He teased, nudging her playfully "No Tempy. You were just a kid, you didn't ask for any of this." He took a long breath "But you sure have done a lot with it."

"I hate you Hobbs." She muttered, wiping her eyes angrily "How could you keep something like that from me?"

"Come on Tempy." He said "Cut me some slack, you're not exactly easy to read you know – and we hadn't spoken in years… I hardly think turning up with _that_ news would help mend any bridges."

She sighed, getting to her feet "I can't think about all this right now. I have to deal with Saren first. But don't think you are off the hook Hobbs." She warned jabbing a finger at him "As soon as this mission is done I expect serious answers from you – no more classified. No more secrets. Understand?"

He nodded slowly "You got it."

"Commander?" The voice was Joker's breaking over the speaker and Shepard cleared her throat moving to the speaker quickly.

"What's up Joker?" She asked.

"Just got a message from Admiral Anderson ma'am. He wants you to meet him at Flux, says it's urgent."

She nodded carefully "Alright, tell him I'm on my way."


	18. Chapter 18

Kaidan paced outside Shepard's quarters.

His heart hammered in his chest as he tried to desperately grasp some focus over the events that had taken them all to this point.

He had thought the meeting with Captain Anderson was going to be some kind of update – he certainly didn't expect the Captain to suggest stealing the Normandy let alone aid them in it.

He had just committed mutiny; stolen a warship; conspired to cause unrest and disobeyed direct orders from the Alliance – all in the name of love. He could try and tell himself it was for the mission; but he knew that would be a lie.

It was for her.

And now they were hurtling toward an alien world unexplored for centuries in the hope of stopping an ancient race of machines from taking over the galaxy. It just didn't seem plausible.

At last he huffed out a heavy sigh, turning and punching the lock for her door, pausing briefly as the doors slid open.

He didn't know what he expected to find; her pacing maybe? Ranting and raving, swinging and fizzing with fury. Whatever he had expected it was not to see her sitting at her console, almost serenely calm as she raised her blue eyes to look at him as he entered.

"Commander." He addressed her sharply in case someone was listening to them. She leaned forward flicking the Comm mute as the doors hissed closed behind him.

"Are you sure you want to call me that?" She asked, her hair sweeping over her shoulder as she looked at him seriously. "Not sure I deserve the title right now Kaidan."

He hesitated, unsure how to read her, whether she was expecting a formal reply or a personal one. She watched him expectantly, her expression unreadable and so he took a breath.

"Yeah." He said quietly "Hell of a thing." Playing safe was better than jeopardizing anything. She smiled crookedly at him, slipping off her seat and moving toward him carefully. She was dressed down in her racer-back top and shorts, the tops cut off at her thighs and he had to hold his gaze steady as she folded her arms and moved her shoulders.

"We broke our oath to protect the Alliance… so we can keep it? What happens if this doesn't work out Shepard? I mean we stole an Alliance warship, committed mutiny…" He smiled. "Hell if they wanted to get picky they could probably throw in kidnapping."

"Kidnapping?" She asked, her eyebrows rising "No one's here against their will Kaidan." She mumbled "If you wanted to g-"

"No." He said quickly, firmly, and judging by the look she gave him he could tell she was surprised by the assertiveness in his voice but he felt a sudden urge to make sure she knew his feelings on the matter clearly "No I want to be here Shepard." He said carefully "I… I have nowhere else to go if you are here."

She looked at him then, that same look of warning flashing over her eyes and he knew he should back off; knew he should leave it at that and remove himself from her quarters.

From temptation.

"We're uh…" He gave her a lopsided smile "We're a hell of an example of humanity's best and brightest huh?"

Abigail chuckled softly, nodding as she looped her hair behind her ears "Yeah." She breathed. "I keep telling myself we are doing the right thing here." Her smile faltered a little as she met his eyes once more "I don't believe me yet."

"We're doing the right thing." Kaidan said sincerely. "It's gonna hit the fan when we get to Ilos though." He said it casually, but he felt the tension shift up a notch in the room as they both considered the magnitude of the battle ahead. "I guess, I want you to know if things don't go well…" He cleared his throat nervously."Well, I wanted to say thanks. I've enjoyed serving under you Commander."

Abigail smiled, drawing her teeth over her bottom lip as she took a step closer to him "I don't think I've had the pleasure of you serving under me, Kaidan." She said quietly. "But I appreciate the sentiment."

Kaidan felt his breath rush from him as he blinked at her stupidly, his face blossoming with heat as he flustered a reply. "I… huh, well I suppose I walked into that one," He said at last, smiling sheepishly at her as he rubbed the back of his neck."Battlefield flirting is one thing Shepard…" He whispered. "But we're talking about a breach of protocol." He swallowed, laughing softly as he took a nervous step back. "I suppose it would be pretty low on the list of charges when we get court-martialed." He reasoned and she followed him, for each step he took back she took one toward him.

"Of course they cou-"

"Kaidan?" She whispered, her finger pressing against his lips froze the words in his throat. "Stop talking."

His mouth clipped closed as he swallowed, the situation and her proximity making him sweat as he reached a hand tentatively toward her. She met him halfway, her fingers lacing into the spaces between his and before he really knew what he was doing his other hand grabbed for her, collecting combats and taut flesh beneath as he pressed her against him, his mouth finding hers hungrily.

It was like he had been let loose in the pantry after being starved for weeks – his need for her insatiable as her hands slid into his hair, the kiss growing deeper – more desperate – and he knew he was spiraling toward a choice he would have to make. A risk he would have to take.

She broke the kiss first, stepping back from him, her blue eyes holding his fiercely as she lifted her racer-back top. It hung gently from her fingers a moment before dropping to the floor – but Kaidan barely saw it. Under that top she had nothing on. Nothing at all, and now stood before him with only cotton shorts on.

She drew him down onto the bed on top of her, her hands holding the neck of his t-shirt fiercely as his knees sank into the mattress between her legs. Eagerly she tugged his shirt free of his combats and he smiled, aiding her in removing it from him gently.

She froze beneath him and for a moment he panicked, looking at her wide eyes as she stared at his bared torso her brow creasing slightly. He glanced down at himself, trying to gauge her reaction, and then he remembered what it was she was looking at.

On his left side, over his heart he had requested an extra tattoo – one he had never shown her. It was her name, etched into his skin. It had seemed a crazy idea the day after and now, unveiled he felt fear creep into his voice as he tried to explain.

"When we got our Alliance ones done," He said gingerly. "I've always loved you Abigail. I maybe didn't say it the right way… or show it – I don't know." He blushed, suddenly incredibly nervous.

"I wanted to tell you…in case…" He began and then stopped himself, smiling as he cleared his throat. "I'm just going to stop talking now." He nodded sagely, crawling over her, his arms trembling under him as he gazed down on her.

Her eyes were bright, her pupils dilated, her hair splayed out beneath her smelled of vanilla and jasmine. She touched his chest with her fingertips and the sensation was like being struck by lightning; intense and bright and warm.

It was like gazing at a shooting star.

Like standing in the centre of the sun.

"Abigail." He breathed and his voice had gone husky, it seemed impossible to get enough air in his lungs to breathe sufficiently.

She didn't seem to notice, her eyes ticking back to his as the feel of her fingers became hands. They wandered to his abdomen, sliding over his navel, lower still to the zipper of his trousers where they paused.

"We shouldn't..." He whispered, and his voice gave out; his body protesting in its own way; and then there was another sensation, the most intense yet as her hand glided inside his combats, incredibly warm and soft against the length of him.

"Abby." He croaked, knowing this was his last attempt at reason, trying desperately to hold onto the principles he had about protocol, about fraternization – about love and marriage.

He wanted to marry her, he knew that; had known that since he had met her, he wanted her to be his wife, to have his children, to spend every moment of every day with her from now until he passed away. Did feeling that; knowing that make this alright?

"I'm not forcing anything Kaidan." She said quietly, stroking a hand into his hair as she smiled. "I want you Lieutenant, not going to deny it. What is it that you want?"

"I want you." He said thickly and her smile widened as she nodded, bringing her lips to his.

He knew this time, as her mouth found his, her tongue darting against his own, he had lost his resolve. That he had reached a point of no return, that there was no going back now.

"I want you." He repeated but this time with more commitment, swallowing back his nerves as he slid a hand down her thigh taking those shorts with it until she was able to kick them from her legs. Her skin was too soft, like silk, as his fingers slid behind her knee gently, coaxing her leg up and around his hip.

For the briefest of moments she looked as terrified as he felt and he paused, acknowledging the meaning for both of them.

This was something that neither of them had much experience with. It was something completely new to him, and something they both wanted to share with each other; but he didn't want to hurt her, and in the back of his mind, no matter how he tried to maneuver the situation, that same worry seemed to rear its head at every turn.

She moved under him, the sensation causing him to suck an unsteady breath into his lungs, he held it there briefly as she kissed him deeply, her knees pressing at his hips with tense anticipation as she pulled him home.

He groaned as he entered her, his arms quaking under him as he struggled to keep his mind to purpose; he paused, looking down on her with new sight it seemed. Her cheeks were flushed, her mouth open in a silent gasp as she clung to him, her skin damp with perspiration; she tasted delicious, like ripe fruit and suddenly he couldn't seem to get enough of her.

He had never dreamt of feeling anything near what he did now, he could feel who she was, now in this moment, her desires matched his, her love matched his, her dreams and hopes and fears. She was a being beyond what he was worthy, a Goddess whom he was humbled to be blessed by.

Her fingers dug into his shoulder blades, perspiration trickling down his lower back as he pressed lips to her throat. His passion urged him to power into her, but he did not want the moment to end and so forced himself to move slowly.

The rhythm seemed to him clumsy at first, hips bumping out of sync, but he quickly managed to sense her being – to anticipate the way she moved, and the more they moved the more she seemed to be enjoying it.

He kissed her, unable to keep himself from her mouth it seemed, lost in the ecstasy of the moment. It felt like he couldn't get close enough to her for his liking. She was beautiful. The feel of her under him was intoxicating; his whole body felt like it was on fire.

She rose to meet his mouth, her tongue darting against his own, her fingers lacing in his hair as her breathless gasps became cries of desperation, gentle caresses became frantic, clinging to him wildly as she arched her back, her screams sundering the quiet around them.

He pressed a hand to the bed under her, his other supporting her back as her hands snatched into his hair; a burning sensation was beginning to build in his gut, as though he had swallowed molten lead and it was finally being digested, and the more he moved the more intense it became, the more urgent and pleasurable it felt.

Abigail seemed to sense the change in him, her hands slipping from his hair planted squarely on his chest as she pushed him to the side.

He caught his breath, letting her have her way. There was too much to focus on and as his back sank into the mattress and she climbed on top of him allowing him a breath-taking view of her body by the lamplight. Being in control of _this_ situation was the last thing he was thinking.

She leaned into him, her hair falling around him like velvet, her lips pressing to his gently as she slid down onto him once more; he groaned against her mouth, his hands wandering to her body tentatively.

She pressed her hands over his, his palm on her abdomen feeling the muscles there undulate smoothly. Reaching up, he could feel her ribs spread with each long, aching breath she took as she leaned back, her long hair tickling his thighs.

She increased her pace further, her cries becoming more desperate, and this time he joined her with his own. The room was suddenly blue – the crackling energy of her biotics flaring in the near darkness as her palms pressed down on him, bracing herself carefully. He could feel himself losing control as he watched her, as he watched the beautiful blue tendrils making shadows dance over her skin. That familiar thrum of his own biotics coming to the fore made him catch his breath– filled him with cool panic as he struggled to maintain a hold of himself.

"Wait." He whispered, the feeling intensifying further, but she shook her head playfully instead lacing her fingers through his as she tossed her hair back, the biotic light dancing over her skin. He closed his eyes and thrummed along her nervous system; feeling her body ignite in response, feeling everything she was soak into him, staining his skin with her scent and her being.

That sensation loomed again and he tried to snatch back some focus, unsure what it was, scared he was going to lose control and hurt her somehow, but she resisted his attempts to slow her movements, instead she leaned back over him, her mouth locking with his once more. He crushed his eyes closed as she fed that feeling, it grew and grew and then with a cry of expectant elation he felt it explode.

Waves of ecstasy ran through him, he sank back into the bed, his chest heaving as his vision was at first blurred with stars. He couldn't breathe, his breath was snatched from his lungs as he clung to her and she to him, her heart beat loudly against his as he shuddered a long sigh.

Panting, he caught his breath, the colours in front of his eyes finally fading, revealing Abigail looking down on him, a warm smile on her beautiful face. She crumpled, her head pressing to his chest as she maneuvered her legs to lie between his. He took a deep breath, wrapping his arms around her and pressing his lips to the top of her head, she felt tiny in his arms now, vulnerable and precious. So precious.

"I love you." He said, gathering her close, not willing to be parted from her "I love you with all I am."

She smiled, pressing her lips to his skin, leaning her chin on his chest to look up at him "I've waited my whole life for you Kaidan." She whispered "I don't want to ever lose you."

"You won't." He said quickly; too quickly he realized. For it was perhaps the worst lie he had ever told; who was he to say that nothing would happen to him? Wasn't that just inviting fate to intervene? He swallowed, disregarding the dark thoughts; he wanted nothing to ruin this moment.

"I love you." She whispered, but it was softer, her hand coming up to rest beside her face on his chest as she sighed gently.

When he glanced down at her again she was asleep, and he smiled, his chest swelling with such love and desire to protect her he struggled to stop himself waking her just so she could be looking at him again.

Without moving her too much he reached for the bed sheet, pulling the thick cotton over them both as he held her, for the entire world wishing they could be married. Wishing they could be in their own home, in their bed with their children sleeping in another room.

He wanted that with her, for her, he wanted a life with her.

"Abby." He breathed and she didn't move, didn't even stir "I want to marry you," He said, his throat constricting painfully as he tried the words out loud for the first time.

It felt alright. It actually felt quite good to have them outside his head, even if it was only for him to hear. Holding her close he watched the FTL stream outside the window above them, his eyes fluttering closed gently as sleep finally overtook him and for once it was fitful and full of dreams.

"Did you hear that?" Garrus asked, his expression quizzical as he glanced over his shoulder. He turned back to Hobbs his mandibles twitching in curiosity.

"Hear what?" Hobbs asked, pausing to stuff noodles into his mouth as his forehead creased at the Turian.

Garrus shook his head "It sounded like a scream." He said then laughed "Must have been hearing things." He dismissed and Hobbs moved his shoulders.

"Probably the engine." Hobbs said but he doubted it. The engines on these newer models were the quietest around but he wasn't about to tell Garrus that because that would lead to more questions and the answers would force him to tell the turian what he was _really_ doing sitting at the mess table outside Shepard's quarters.

And the truth was a lot more dangerous. The truth involved keeping Shepard from falling into more trouble than she was in already; for being court-martialed for fraternizing with an Officer under her Command. Although to be fair, her trial would probably be more concerned with the fact she had just stolen a prototype warship.

She was so damned impatient! If she had just waited they could have been cleared to leave tomorrow – but no, not Commander Shepard. Patience was apparently a virtue she clearly lacked.

"You do know they are developing guns with thermal clips right?" Hobbs said between chews, desperate to talk about something to keep the distraction up from the noises behind "Your sniper rifle will soon be obsolete."

Garrus looked at him carefully, prodding the bowl of turian protein in front of him with a fork "It'll be no different," He said. "All that changes is round capacity surely."

Hobbs nodded "And power. They are talking about modding the clips so they can put out three rounds before reloading… but it still means stopping to reload more often."

Garrus moved his shoulders smoothly. "I only need one shot."

Despite the serious look on the turian's face Hobbs chuckled and nodded "Alright." He said carefully. "I bet I could outshoot you though."

This time it was Garrus' turn to laugh "I doubt that," He said sincerely. "You might be able to out-talk the lieutenant but you need to realize when you are punching above your weight."

Hobbs smiled, and the two regarded each other cooly for a moment before he sighed, turning to his noodles again. "I suppose you're right."He said at last.

"Do you think Saren will be at the conduit already…whatever it is?"

Hobbs swallowed, curious if this was a worried statement or a genuine question; the turian certainly looked impassive about everything, but then in his experience turian expressions had always been difficult to follow.

He cleared his throat loudly. "Doesn't matter," He said firmly. "We have Shepard with us. And Shepard doesn't know how to fail Garrus. Saren is already dead – he just doesn't know it yet."

Garrus nodded slowly, contemplatively. "But he's not the real threat is he? These Reapers are what is coming – and the council won't even entertain that idea… how are we supposed to prepare for something if they aren't even willing to see it?"

Hobbs ticked his gaze to the table; these were the hard questions he was never any good at answering. He was a soldier, not a politician – he had no idea how to raise an army if the Brass didn't say so, but he did have faith the Alliance at least would come through.

"I think that is what is remarkable about Shepard," He said quietly "She has this way of making you see things you didn't think about before…" He frowned, feeling the truth of those words as he gave Garrus a small smile "If anyone can do this it's her."

"I suppose you are right." Garrus said at last. "I don't know much about her, but I have learned a lot from her," He said quietly. "I'm going to go and get my gear together. Nice talking to you."

Hobbs gave him a small nod as the turian got up from the table and walked away; he hoped he was right. He hoped he hadn't just told a grave lie. He did believe in Shepard, but things were getting complicated fast and no-one was in a position to say something except him, and that made it awkward.

The subject would be clumsy coming from him regardless, but it nevertheless had to be done. Taking a deep breath he leaned back in the plastic lunch chair; it was time to batten down the hatches, soon he would be facing hurricane Shepard.

"Tell me." He murmured against her hair, his fingers stroking into the length of it, drawing it away from her face where she lay with her back pressed into him. Their legs were tangled under the sheets still, her head tucked onto her arm she was carefully turned away from him, so he couldn't see the pain in her eyes, or the fear. He didn't need to see that.

He was curled into her protectively, half sitting up against the headboard, one hand in her hair, the other tucked under her head carefully and she relished the warmth of his fingers under her head. Watching the FTL stream above them she pondered how safe he could make her feel, how secure and terrified all at once.

"I don't remember," She said gently. "I remember talking about turians, I remember his cologne – but I can't remember his face." She swallowed ."I remember his study, the books and his desk and the pictures behind it. He had this one quote from an ancient movie that I always thought looked so corny among his trophies up there – 'Once more into the fray, into the last good fight I'll ever know. Live and die on this day. Live and die on this day."She shook her head gently. "I never asked him about it, it was after… it was Captain Anderson who told me he kept it because he had wanted to be a marine at one time." Her voice strained as she forced the words out "I guess it doesn't matter now though…I don't even… "

He took a deep breath, pressing his lips to her shoulder gently, "John Shepard raised you Abigail," He said softly. "For all intents and purposes he was your father – he… he loved you. That much was clear from the records… you don't need to wonder about that."

"I don't know what to feel Kaidan." She said quietly. "I thought it was all behind me, and it seems the more I uncover the worse it gets. How am I supposed to know who I am?"

He kissed her head gently "I know who you are." He whispered. "I'll always be here Shepard."

Shepard closed her eyes, drawing strength from the soft spoken words, her eyes welling with tears as she nodded gently. "I hate how you make me feel Kaidan." She said brokenly, the tears forced their way from under her lashes anyway, and his hand moved to wipe them away turning her gently to face him.

"You make me feel so warm." She said quietly "After a lifetime of being cold… it scares the hell out of me."

"I know." Was all he said, and they lay there a moment in comfortable silence.

After a while Kaidan moved, shifted behind her, rising from the bed to cross to the ensuite where he disappeared inside and Shepard rolled onto her front, tucking her arms under her pillow to rest her head. It smelled of him, and she smiled at how foolish she felt breathing in his scent when he was only in the next room, but she didn't care.

While she was alone she could be as much of a girl in love as she wanted to be.

She heard the toilet flush, wriggling so she still looked asleep as the door opened again. She closed her eyes, smiling as she felt his weight press on the edge of the bed. He reached a hand over, fingers grazing her thigh as he tickled the back of her knee playfully.

She stayed still, playing possum with him, her face turned away he paused as he considered whether she had actually fallen asleep or not. She felt him move again, the mattress sinking further as more weight pressed next to her.

She heard him take a breath, drawing her teeth over her bottom lip as she crushed her eyes closed "You've been on my mind," He sang gently, and she felt his breath whisper over the back of her calves "I grow fonder every day, lose myself in time – just thinking of your face."

His lips pressed to her skin, fluttery and sweet on the back of her thigh and she drew a shallow breath, unable to break the moment by turning to look at him and so remained still as he continued to sing quietly.

"God only knows, why it's taken me so long to let these doubts go." Another kiss, a little higher on her thigh this time. "You're the only one I want."

The weight shifted, his mouth grazing the dimples at the bottom of her spine. "I dare you to let me be…" He sang softly. "Your one and only. I promise I'm worth it, to hold in your arms." His mouth curved into a smile, the jig was up and she realized with a start she had been holding her breath. And he knew it too.

"Come here." He said gently, coaxing, and his hand slipped into hers, pulling her gently from the bed. She gripped the sheet to her, still naked underneath it and was relieved to see Kaidan at least had his boxer shorts on, reluctantly moving with him as he pulled her to him, feet on the cold floor as he wrapped his arms around her gently. She laid her head on his chest, the stark difference in their height apparent as she listened to the low thud against his ribcage.

He took her hand, swaying her gently and when she looked at him his dark eyes were glittering with mischief as he began to sing gently again. "Come on and give me the chance." He smiled "To prove I am the one who can-" He spun her in a circle, bringing her in close against him once more."Walk that mile, until the end starts…" Gently, he pressed his mouth to hers and she laughed against him.

"How can you be two different people in there Kaidan?"She whispered, leaning her head on his chest lightly as they swayed. "I'm so glad I met you finally."

"I don't think I am." He said gently "I just… don't talk much."

"Where did you learn to dance?" She asked, as he pulled away from the kiss, swaying her gently still.

"Ballroom classes." He smiled "My mom made me go."

"Oh." Shepard nodded, teasing as she grinned wickedly."So you _are_ gay."

He laughed then, his face mocking serious as he nodded."Oh yes." He said firmly. "The gayest."

She chuckled shaking her head "We should be getting to the bridge." She said gently. "We'll be at Ilos soon."

"No no no." He moaned, nuzzling her throat as he tipped her head back with firm movements. "We still have time Shepard…" He pressed a deep kiss to her neck, sweeping her legs from under her gently as he carried her back to the bed. "And that was only my first try."

"Uh… Commander, we have company." Joker's voice caught her attention and she turned in the crowded cockpit.

Frowning she glanced to the monitor. Ilos was just ahead of them, but surrounded by more than a dozen geth warships sitting dormant; waiting.

"Are the stealth systems still engaged?" She asked quickly and Joker nodded.

"Of course, we should be alright getting past them so long as no one… you know… looks out a window."

Behind her Navigator Pressly cleared his throat. "We're picking up some strange signals from the planet's surface Commander." He said and Hobbs moved from where he was standing to look over the man's shoulder.

"Take us down Joker." Shepard commanded "Lock onto their coordinates."

"Negative on that one Commander." Hobbs said, "The nearest landing zone is reading almost two klicks away."

Kaidan shook his head, moving carefully toward Shepard."We'll never make it on time by foot." He argued. "Find somewhere closer."

"There is nowhere closer!" Navigator Pressly cried. "I've looked!"

Shepard frowned, glancing to Kaidan who mirrored her own expression. They had made it all the way here, through everything and were now about to be done over by logistics. "Drop us in the Mako." She said firmly and Kaidan's mouth ghosted a smile as he gave her a nod of understanding.

"But you need at least a hundred metres of open terrain to pull off a drop like that!" Pressly said sharply, the stress making the man's voice rise "The most I can find here is 20!"

"That's suicide." Hobbs said, glancing back at the Commander with a worried look – that had never stopped her before.

"We have to try." Kaidan reasoned, his face darkened by the probability of death.

"Find another landing zone." Hobbs said, turning his attention back to Pressly and the monitor hotly.

"There is no other landing zone!" Pressly cried, but nevertheless his hands were a fury of blur as he worked over the console.

"That descent angle is too steep Shepard." Hobbs warned, as though he were reading her mind. He knew she was desperate enough to risk it all.

"It's our only option." Kaidan argued, his eyes locking with Hobbs' and holding his gaze unwavering.

"Well," Hobbs snorted "Look who peeked in his shorts and found a pair." He ground out. "It's suicide Lieutenant."

"We are out of –"

"I can do it." Joker said suddenly, nodding heavily as he looked to Shepard.

She glanced to the pilot, to her friend, her eyebrows rising "Joker?"

"I can do it." He said firmly.

"Alright, gear up and get into the Mako." Shepard ordered "Joker, drop us right on top of that bastard." With that she was moving, Kaidan filing out in front of her as he rushed down the gangway and Hobbs moved in behind her.

"You're taking Alenko?" He asked gently and she forced the smile from her face as she glanced over her shoulder.

"I'm taking the Lieutenant." She said as she walked "Is that a problem?"

Hobbs paused, catching her hand and stopping her as she spun to face him "You might want to ask yourself that question." He said gently."Think about it Tempy… is it wise to take him with you? Are you going to be able to focus, to get it done?" He frowned. "To make the choice if it comes?"

Abigail frowned, shaking her head at him "Hobbs what are you talking about? How dare you ask if I can focus… I'm not an idiot!"

He took that easily, rolling with it, pulling her into the lift with him before the conversation got any deeper.

"I'm not saying you'll be…" He sighed. "What if he gets injured Shepard? What if he gets killed? Will you be functional? What if you have to choose between him and the mission success? Can you make that choice?"

She looked at him, her mouth open as his words sank in deep "Of course I can." She said tightly. "Don't question me like that again."

"Ok then." Hobbs said, giving her a nod.

The elevator stopped and they filed out, glancing at Kaidan in his armour as he climbed into the Mako she closed her eyes, taking a steadying breath – No.

No was the answer. And as she strode to her locker she prayed for the first time in a long time; prayed long and hard it would not be a choice she would be forced to make.


	19. Chapter 19

Title: Ilos Chapter Two (2)  
Author: DinkyMew  
Game: Mass Effect (one)  
Disclaimer: Bioware own all content and characters relating to the Mass Effect franchise. Abigail Shepard is my own creation inspired by Jane Shepard, created by Bioware. Any original characters contained herein are my own creations and are not necessarily affiliated with Bioware. **You may not distribute copy or edit this fanfiction as it stands without my expressed permission – thank you **

_**Author's Note**_**:**** I owe this chapter to Eleneri: u/2946260/ - who inspired the idea of exploring the emotional impact on Operative Hobbins following Kaidan and Abigail finally finding solace in each other's arms. And to my wonderful JJ who put the scene in my head that would not friggin leave until I wrote it in somehow – thank you, you minx! To you, my dears! Thanks as always for your continued support and your amazing comments! :hug:**

* * *

"Am I under arrest officer?" Shepard asked, throwing a pout his way, flicking her hair back over her shoulder with a smooth gesture.

Hobbs swallowed, shaking himself from his stupor as he realised she was speaking to him. "Hands on the hood." He said firmly, waiting for her to turn and spread palms on the hood of the flightcar before he lowered the pistol in his hand and approached carefully.

Her legs were incredibly long, her weight shifting from one foot to another made the short black skirt she was wearing inch inexorably up bare creamy thighs and he caught his breath, clearing his throat as he holstered his gun and kicked the stiletto heels she was wearing.

"Spread 'em." He ordered and she obeyed, pressing her rear against his crotch as she did so and he closed his eyes, pressing a hand into her lower back as he steadied himself.

"Shepard…" He breathed and she glanced over her shoulder, blue eyes sparkling with mischief as her mouth curved into a full, red smile.

There was no more waiting. He gripped the shoulder of her leather jacket, spinning her roughly to face him and kissed her fiercely. She laughed against his mouth, her tongue flicking against his as she drew her legs up to his hips.

He dropped the pistol, or the pistol was gone, he couldn't be sure – and he didn't care as she stretched beneath him over the hood of the flightcar. He slid his hand under the vest top she wore, feeling skin rise and ignite under his touch – watching as the blue fire of her biotics flared to life and began to flicker over her skin – this was another time.

A memory.

He had been here before, but there was no car last time; it had been playful love, lust and fantasy all rolled into one in their apartment on Arcturus.

Now it was something darker – something that bordered on need and desperation and pervaded his soul like a rampaging hunger.

"You'll have to try harder than that." Shepard whispered, crimson lips speaking softly, curving into a wide smile as she held his eyes fiercely.

Hobbs frowned, _try harder? What did she mean by that? _

With a smile he bent over her, running his mouth along her stomach, drawing teeth over her ribs as they spread in delight and up higher still as her breath staggered a little drawing a moan from her as he teased an aching nipple between teeth.

She wriggled out of her jacket, her fingers raking through his hair as she cradled him against her and together they removed the vest she wore – her hands immediately unbuttoning his shirt halfway, ripping the rest open as she pulled him back down onto her. He pressed hands onto the bonnet of the flightcar, shuddering as her nails raked his abdomen, travelling lower to his jeans.

"Oh…"

Hobbs smiled, his thumb grazing her sternal notch, sliding up her throat and brushing her bottom lip gently. She grinned, bringing her mouth down and around the digit, sinking teeth into the flesh gently, playfully.

He groaned, low and dangerous, as he pressed against her, replacing thumb with his own mouth and she moaned into him, hands snatching onto his shoulders as he pressed himself between her legs.

He felt the rush of electricity flush over his skin as her biotics came back with force, the tendrils curling around his biceps as he held himself steady on the bonnet of the car. She peeled away from him, arching her back as she stretched arms above her head, skilful muscle control threatening to send him spinning over the edge.

"Oh…"

_You'll have to try harder than that_…

Hobbs frowned, raising his head from her throat to look at her, but she hadn't said a word, her head was tilted back, her mouth open, her cheeks flushed as her hips rolled against him.

"I love you Tempy." He said, watching her as she broke into a smile, bringing her eyes back to his, they were dancing with blue fire – in that moment he saw everything that could be and should be in her arms, where he belonged, and he _ached_ as he sank back onto her, his mouth covering hers hungrily.

"Oh…" She whispered, right in his ear this time as he pressed kisses to her throat and shoulders "Oh!" Her nails gripped his shoulders, sending a spasm through him that made him shiver "Oh!" Her hands dropped lower, gripping his rear as her biotics hummed brighter, the blue light dancing over her skin as she reared back against him.

"Oh! _KAIDAN_!"

Hobbs started awake, the movement so abrupt he almost toppled out of the crew bunk but just managed to grab the cross-bar in time stopping his ungainly descent to the floor. Sinking back into the pillow he pressed his hands to his forehead as his breath raged in and out of his lungs.

_What. The. Hell_.

He shook his head, he had to get off this ship – it was really starting to mess with his mind. He took a moment, letting the fragments of the dream filter through his head once more as he let the pain of the memory wash through him.

Had he really just done that? Had he actually sat outside her quarters and protected her image as Commander by distracting passers-by from the noises within her cabin? What the hell was wrong with him?

Hobbs was no stranger to intimacy, not now anyway, and he hated feeling this way. He didn't _own_ Shepard, she was free to be with whoever she wanted, just like he was – but damn didn't it _hurt_ to know she was moving on. Didn't it just _hurt_ to think of her in Kaidan's arms, Kaidan's mouth on her throat, Kaidan's hands on her thighs – and the thoughts kept rushing around in his head until he felt sure he was going to have a nosebleed or an aneurism. Or both.

Had she given that smile to Kaidan she used to reserve for him? Had she moaned beneath Kaidan the way she used to with him? How could he live in this kind of purgatory, without any glimmer of light or hope?

The answer was obvious. He couldn't.

He had to leave.

Sitting in the bed carefully he swung his legs to the floor, pressing boots on the grating as he rubbed sleep from his eyes. Could this get any worse?

Getting to his feet stiffly he stepped out of the crew quarters and into the mess, pausing as he spotted Alenko gathering some energy drinks from the fridge behind the kitchen counter. _Figures_, he thought darkly as he passed the man by, flicking the switch on the coffee machine and leaning his hands on the counter as he let his head hang, his chin resting on his chest.

"You alright?" Kaidan asked, raising eyebrows his way "You look a bit pale…"

Hobbs snorted, clearing his throat as he gave the lieutenant a cold smile "Still look better than you Alenko." He said cooly.

Kaidan seemed unfazed by the insult though and reached a hand toward him "I'm being serious you look washed out Hobbs." He said firmly, his hand touching his shoulder in an attempt at support he was sure, but the static shock he got – that shot through his skin like ice making him flinch – only incited his anger further.

It was a cooling down process for biotics to give off static shocks – and Hobbs knew exactly what the bastard was cooling down from.

"Get your hand off me Alenko." He said firmly.

Kaidan obeyed, moving his hand back as he picked up the energy drinks he had sat on the counter "Alright." He said easily "You should maybe check in with Dr Chakwas though." He suggested and Hobbs ground his teeth as he poured himself a mug of hot coffee.

"Maybe you should mind your fucking business." He muttered.

"Ok." Kaidan said softly "Sorry." With that he pushed past him and turned back into Shepard's quarters leaving Hobbs in the mess once again.

Alone.

* * *

Shepard pulled her hair back roughly, securing it in a scraggy knot at the back of her head as she checked the latches on her armour once more. They had got the shout from Joker that they were approaching Ilos; it was game time.

Dropping to the edge of the bed she forced a foot into a boot and began to strap the laces into the metal teeth.

"Everything ok?" Kaidan asked, he was sitting behind her, dressed in his Alliance casuals watching her intently.

"Sure." Shepard said "Just getting focused." She smiled over her shoulder at him musing at how easy it all felt with him. She had feared it would be awkward to assume command again after their moment of passion, but Kaidan made it all too easy to fall between roles almost seamlessly.

"Have you thought about a plan?" He asked her quietly and Shepard sighed.

"I think two groups should be good." She said switching to the other foot "If I take a point team and go after Saren the secondary team can bring up the rear and clear out the reinforcements that will be sent after us." She frowned "What do you think?"

He took a deep breath, the bed shifting behind her as he shuffled closer, pressing a warm kiss behind her ear "We're going to do this Shepard." He said firmly "You're going to do this."

She nodded – the words jamming in her throat as she half turned to look into his dark eyes. She wanted to tell him how he made her feel, that she was so scared of losing him, but instead she simply smiled as her eyes misted with emotion.

"Hey." He said gently, pressing his forehead to hers gently "I know. I think about losing you and I can't stand it." He whispered "Whatever happens out there Shepard, I want you to know that I love you."

"Kaidan…"

"And if the worst happens I'll be waiting for you." He added quickly "Always."

He pressed a kiss to her mouth, sealing the promise tenderly and then swung his legs off the bed carefully "I should go and get geared." He said "I'll see you on deck Commander."

She watched him leave, his walk somehow more confident in her eyes and she smiled fondly, turning her attention back to her boots.

When she entered the mess Hobbs was sitting at a table in the corner, his hands folded over his chest his head was flung back and he was snoring loudly. With a smile she approached him, prodding his arm gently as he started, immediately wiping his mouth and looking at her sheepishly.

"There are beds here you know." She said with a small smile and his face darkened as he moved his shoulders.

"Yeah, I guess I just drifted off." He said absently.

"We're almost at Ilos." Shepard said gently "Wanna come up to the cockpit for the descent?"

Hobbs moved his shoulders "I actually need to tell you something first." He said pushing the chair back he was sitting on with a screech.

He got to his feet, running a hand through his light brown hair and fixing her with a serious look "I… I'll go to Ilos. But that's it. I'm out after that."

Shepard blinked, the tone of his words was cold and it gave her pause as she looked him carefully up and down. "You're out?" she asked "As in leaving?" She shook her head "Why?"

Hobbs shook his head "Doesn't matter Tempy. The reason. I just can't be around … this ship." He concluded lamely and she caught it – knowing full well the ship wasn't the problem.

"But your brother…" she said carefully "He joined to be with you Hobbs. What about him?" It was an awful tactic, to use his younger brother as an anchor instead of telling him she simply didn't want him to leave, but it was all she had to use.

"I know." Hobbs said carefully "I'll talk to him."

"Talk to him?" A voice interjected hotly and they both froze, turning to see Foster dressed in his new Alliance uniform.

He looked incredibly smart and clean in comparison to how he had looked when he first came aboard. Shepard saw Hobb's hesitate and touched a hand to his shoulder gently.

"I'll be on deck." She said gently and he didn't answer her, his eyes were on his brother, but she saw his jaw flex and decided it would be best if she removed herself for the time being. Hobbs started to speak but Foster shook his head angrily, not giving him a chance before he stormed away back toward the crew quarters.

Hobbs entered the crews' quarters and barely dodged a boot that sailed past his head, striking the door with a thud. The mate followed, clipping his ear. He felt blood ooze down his neck. A data pad crashed against the door and a cup and a plate and a fork that almost impaled his neck. Foster stood there in his new Alliance clothes, face red, puffing from exertion, eyes incinerating him. Foster yanked the chain from around his neck with his new regulation dog tags strung on it and flung them. They collided with Hobbs' cheek, cutting into the skin below his cheek bone.

He ducked and closed the distance between them, getting into Foster's space, hissing in anger. "You throw one more thing at me and I'll end you."

Foster took a swing at him and Hobbs deflected the blow easily. "You fucking shit!" Foster's voice was hot. "You tell me you searched for me all those years and, by some miracle we find each other on Edolus. We killed a maw together; we took out Cerberus together; we survived!" Spittle struck Hobbs in the face. "And now, after I join up, give up my life, my freedom, my _ship_!" White teeth flashed in the tanned face. Eyes were blue flames this close. "You're cutting out on me?! Because of a girl?!"

Hobbs was shocked when Foster jammed a hand into his privates. He gave his brother a brutal shove. "What are you doing?" he roared.

Foster glared at him. "Just checking to see if you still have any balls!"

"Fuck you Foster!" He shouted, "You have no idea what I am dealing with – what I have dealt with – don't you dare fucking stand there and accuse me of tucking tail!"

"I trusted you!" Foster matched Hobbs' volume now. "I fucking trusted you! I let my guard down-all for you!" Foster launched himself at Hobbs and Hobbs danced out of the way. Hand-to-hand combat was his area of expertise. His brother didn't stand a chance.

"You need to calm down," he advised. "Or I swear Fos I will lay you out."

Foster laughed bitterly. "I'm sorry you lost your girl, Socks. I'm sorry, because it's turned you into a whipped sod!" He made the sound of a whip snapping, mimicking the motion with his hand.

Hobbs launched at the smaller man, only semi-aware that he could inflict serious damage if he didn't rein himself in a little. He threw a punch, changing it last minute to an open-hand slap to his brother's face in an attempt to stop himself beating him to a pulp. Foster's head whipped with the momentum and when he looked back around his nose was bleeding.

The sight of first blood would have normally incited Hobbs to keep going, but this time as his brother's face turned back to his he felt the anger rush from him instead, those blue eyes still held a fierce anger and Hobbs backed off, forcing fingers into his hair as he turned from Foster, moving to stand in front of the wall, leaning an arm there as he hung his head sucking heavy, calming breaths through him.

"You need to grow a pair. You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and deal. You. Lost. Shepard. Stinko's a pale substitute, but he's what she wants. Fucking deal with it! You're not the brother that runs away when things get bad. You stayed, Socks. You helped those kids. You made a difference." Foster had lost some of his venom and tears sparkled in his eyes. "You want to jump ship now? Saren and the geth are the biggest threat we face-every species. What do you plan to do? Take a nice cushy ops job? Try to be a one-man army like you did when you charged that Atlas?"

"It's easier." Hobbs said quietly, smoothing his palm against the wall as he focused on the space between his fingers "When you're a one man army no one cares if you come home."

A sob broke through. Foster seized Hobbs' right hand, clasping it and then drew him into a tight hug. Hobbs awkwardly patted his little brother on the back with a manly three pats. Breathing harshly, Foster stepped back. "What you did was suicide, bro."

"What I did _was meant_ to be suicide." He smiled "I wanted to protect you Beer. You're my little brother; I'd give my life for yours, you know that."

"Then...stay. If you want to protect me, stay with us on this mission. I signed up for the long haul." Foster ran his hands over his head. "Hell,Socks, ya never know how much time you've got. I spent 15 years without you. Don't walk away now."

Hobbs nodded, slowly, thoughtfully and at last he gave his brother a small smile "You might be small man but you pack a punch to the balls you know that?" He rubbed his crotch "I feel a bit sick now."

Foster wasn't giving up, it wasn't enough, he had to hear it in plain words from the man and he held his brother's gaze unrelenting "So you'll stay?"

Hobbs nodded "Can hardly leave you here to be kicked around by Shepard and Stinko alone can I?" He quipped, and when Foster's eyes misted again he pulled him into a tight hug "Come on." He said, rubbing his brother's head "We need to get geared for Ilos."'

"Will Shepard let me come? I'm the noob. Somebody—I think he said his name was Pressley—told me about a Richard Jenkins and that scut on board the ship is she took his loss hard on Eden Prime." He sighed and ran his hands over his much shorter hair. "She might not want me along."

"I think she assumes awesomeness runs in our genes." Hobbs smiled weakly "I tried to tell her it doesn't" Hobbs moved his shoulders lightly "You don't want to come?"

"No – yeah, well, she needs her most experienced team and, scut says Garrus is a crack shot with a sniper rifle. What use does she have for me?"

"You're an engineer?"

Foster nodded and then a light turned on behind his eyes. "I could prove useful in that capacity. If I'm given an omni-tool I can summon a fighting drone. It explodes when it's destroyed. Its' geared to fight synthetics."

Hobbs nodded "You ever fight geth?"

"Nope. I've never fought a lot of things. Never fought a maw before but I did okay. Stop with the worry face, Socks."

"Maybe it's not a good idea you come." Hobbs considered "I'll speak to Shepard."

Foster grinned incorrigibly and whacked his brother on the arm. "Hey, if she lets me go do you think she has a spare suit of armor? Mine still reeks."

"You never know your luck." Hobbs smiled "Come on let's get ready in case."


	20. Chapter 20

Title: Ilos Chapter Three  
Author: DinkyMew – In Collaboration with Jagespages  
Game: Mass Effect (one)  
Disclaimer: Bioware own all content and characters relating to the Mass Effect Franchise. Abigail Shepard is my own creation inspired by Jane Shepard created by Bioware. Any original characters herein are my own creations and are not necessarily affiliated with Bioware – with the exception of Foster Hobbins who belongs entirely to Julia Jones and the Swagger Vasa Chronicles. **You may not copy, edit or distribute this fanfiction without my expressed permission – thank you**

Author's Note: When life gives you lemons, just make lemonade – to you writer's block, two big fingers in your face!

The drop was always the worst.

The thought entered her head and she grimaced, the sinking – weightless feeling – in her gut reminding her entirely of the last Mako drop they did. On Virmire.

_Ash, I need your help._ She thought crushing her eyes closed as she dipped her head into her chest bracing for impact. _This is your fight too._

The jar of the Mako contacting surface made her bite her tongue and she groaned as hot blood spurt, warm and coppery, inside her mouth. The wheels jounced a little as the Mako rolled, gradually, the sound of gunfire outside pinging off the reinforced armour and shielding of the body.

"Tell me we squashed the bastard?" Garrus asked hopefully, his reptilian eyes narrowing to the Leuitenant in the driver seat.

"Afraid not." Kaidan panted, turning to look at them "He's brought up some kind of door Commander we have no hope of getting past it in this."

Shepard grunted, unbuckling herself and moving to behind the seat where Alenko was peering at the console. "There has to be a way through." She said determined "Ideas?"

Kaidan moved his shoulders "We could try tracing some kind of security console, I could maybe hack the controls if we could find it…" He glanced up at her, a shallow cut over his left eye where his forehead had struck the dash on landing was bleeding, the blood running past his temple as he pulled a face "but that's a big 'if' Commander. This place is enormous."

She wiped her mouth seeing the alarm in his eyes as he spotted the blood on her lips and turned from him, turning back to look at the others.

Hobbs was watching her intently, unharmed it seemed by the descent – which figured she supposed, he would be used to drops being an operative. Beside him his brother foster looked a bit pale and woozy, but to give him his credit he snapped to attention when he saw her looking his way. A hard look coming over his eyes that reminded her more than a little of his older brother.

Garrus was up already, shouldering his rifle eagerly and almost bouncing on his feet as he waited for her orders. Finding Saren had become such a huge thing to the turian she almost forgot his personal vendetta against him.

Wrex looked at her placidly, as though he had just woken up, shaking his great head of scaled skin as he blinked at her.

"Are we here?" He asked, his lips curling back into a grin.

"All right." Shepard said "You know your jobs guys, Alenko, Hobbs and I will take point. Garrus, Wrex, Foster you guys bring up our rear, clear out any geth they send in as reinforcements. We're heading for the conduit fast and hard. Got it?"

"Aye aye ma'am!" Foster shouted, almost eager to try the new phrase out and she had to fight to keep the smile from her face as she turned back to Kaidan. He was looking at her seriously but she ignored it, leaning past him to hit the console and open the Mako door.

"Form out." She ordered, turning to see the others on their feet and dropping out the side of the Mako and onto Ilos soil.

"Shepard." She closed her eyes turning as Kaidan unbuckled himself and moved to her side "What happened?" He asked, a hand coming to the side of her face.

She slapped it aside angrily "Stop it." She hissed "When we're here it's 'Commander' _lieutenant_. And if I take a bullet you better not come back for me. You keep going till you get to the Conduit. You get me?"

His dark eyes looked stung as he watched her for a long moment – could he read the word hypocrite stamped on her forehead because she was sure she had just stencilled it there in black ink. If the roles were reversed she knew too well that was one order she would not follow.

Could not.

"Aye aye Ma'am." He nodded, avoiding her gaze as he pushed past her gently. She felt compelled to reach out and grab him, to reassure him of her feelings, but she kept her arms trained by her side. She ground down on her teeth as she heard his boots trample onto Ilos and she waited a moment, forcing herself to put the emotions aside as she followed him out the side door.

It was not what he expected. But then he wasn't sure what he had been expecting at all.

It looked a lot like Earth, like forest – or some overgrown ruin undiscovered in the Amazon – but everything had turned the colour of rust, and the milky light of the fading sun barely penetrated the cloud cover as they trudged toward the bunker door that had sealed closed behind Saren and his squad of Geth.

Hobbs paused, kicking loose leaf litter and dead vines with his boots as he watched Commander Shepard approach the bunker her pistol drawn and ready. She stopped, her hand running over the smooth slab as she sighed turning back to them.

"I don't see a way to open it." She said, her brow creasing into a frown "Thoughts?"

The lieutenant moved next to her, running his hands over the partition too as he looked at her seriously "Maybe contact our prothean expert?" He suggested.

Shepard nodded her agreement touching the comm in her ear gently. "Liara?" She asked, the message crackling as it was transmitted to the Normandy.

After a beat the Asari's breathless voice came back to her "I'm here Commander." She said eagerly.

"We've hit a bunker of some sort, any ideas how to get it open?"

There was a long pause and then she heard Liara take a breath "The Prothean's liked to keep security linked to consoles just like us Shepard. You would be looking for a security room – likely above where you are for vantage. If the bunker is still operational that means there must still be power – which is amazing, so many years have passed and to stil-"

"A security room?" Shepard prodded agitated and Liara cleared her throat.

"Yes Commander." She said gently.

Shepard cut the comm, turning back to Kaidan as she looked upward at the towering mass of broken structures and jagged statues before them.

"Alright." She said "Garrus, take Foster and Wrex and secure the perimeter – I need you to stay by the Mako while we try and locate a security console."

Garrus looked at the new recruit, taking in his measure. He noticed Wrex was doing the same thing. Foster was the unknown. Wrex and he had worked together and had become a team—seamless, integrated.

Foster had skills, but would he prove to be a worthy part of the crew? That remained to be seen.

"I'll hang back, he said, climbing on the top of the Mako and lying prone. "Wrex, you and Foster scout the perimeter."

Wrex humphed deep in his throat. Foster looked like he was about to say something, but Garrus saw him bite his lip. He had passed the first test. Shepard had asked Garrus to let her know if the young man wouldn't follow the chain of command.

Wrex moved to take point and Foster followed.

Foster gazed at the huge vines that sprang from the ground and crawled like gigantic snakes all over the terrain. He heard a sound—strange, unknown. Wrex held him back, then pushed him to the side of the entrance. "Geth," he rumbled.

Foster swallowed and clutched his pistol tightly. Sweat popped up on his face and he rolled his neck to relieve some of the tension. "Any advice how to take them out?"

"I personally like to rush them and blow them to pieces with my shotgun," the krogan said and proceeded to do just that. Foster put away his pistol when he saw how little damage it did to the geth. He trotted after Wrex and propped the Mantis on the top of a piece of rocky cover, aimed and fired. Headshots worked with the geth, but he had to place more than one bullet. He aimed for what looked like to him as flashlights on their heads.

Garrus came up behind him. "First off, I shouldn't have been able to sneak up on you like that, kid. Second, that's two for you and…" He lined up a shot with his sniper rifle and three geth fell in secession. "And three for me."

Garrus felt something nudge him in his stomach and looked down. A gleam came into his blue eyes as he saw Foster had his pistol, business end pointed at the turian. "There might be hope for you yet."

Foster smirked and stowed his pistol, relying on his Mantis to take out geth. Garrus thought of himself as a substitute Shepard in that he would see to the welfare of his team and this was an opportunity to teach the greenhorn a few tricks.

"If you have it, use overload, warp and throw."

Foster looked at him like he was crazy. "How about hacking their technology? I can do that. I can take down their shields, too." He tapped on his wrist where the omni-tool had been installed.

Garrus' mandibles twitched as he laughed softly. "You turn it on like this, greenie."

Foster blushed and flinched when the omni-tool's amber lights appeared. He'd been given a crash course by Socks, but he was still a little unsure how to work it. He appreciated Garrus' patience as the turian ran over it with him.

"Shields down," Foster announced and sent his drone to go harass one of the rocket geth. His teeth rattled in his head when the geth released a rocket and it ploughed into the cover he, Garrus and Wrex crouched behind. They were showered with debris. Wrex roared, clearly displeased and he rushed the last of the geth that had been left to ambush them, clubbing it with his shotgun, knocking it down and kicking it to pieces.

"Krogan blood lust," Garrus said in his quiet, understated manner. "Give him time to come out of it."

There was another strange noise, like machinery—heavy machinery. Something large, silver with a glowing eye was rising.

"Oh, shit. A Colossus." Garrus gestured for them to move to different cover.

"Two of them," Wrex shouted. "Wish we had the Mako," the krogan grumbled.

"Fos… Now where the hell did he go?" Garrus ticked off in his head that Foster had just failed in his book. You never left your teammates behind like this.

Foster ran as fast as he could to the Mako and climbed inside. He'd watched Kaidan drive it so he knew which controls and, after some groping, found the start button. The vehicle lurched forward and tried to climb the walls, banging into the vines, almost turning upside down.

"Who the hell designed this thing," he said as he was flung against the padding. He finally got the damned thing facing toward the entrance. He aimed the cannon and fired, watching in satisfaction as the wall that prevented them from bringing it in the first place had crumbled and the way was clear. He drove the Mako and pulled up beside his comrades in arms. He opened the door.

"Want a ride, or…you could stay in there and take potshots at those monsters."

Wrex' laughter rumbled and Garrus clicked his mandibles, a sign of approval. "I'll drive," he told Foster.

"I can do it."

"His idea," Wrex stated. "Smart."

It still wasn't easy taking out two colossus. The white energy blinded him and Foster had to blink his eyes several times to focus them.

"Use the cannon. Rock her back and forth." Garrus was an expert on the Mako.

Foster gritted his teeth and all three inhabitants exchanged high-fives when the second monster fell.

"We better get her repaired before Shepard gets back or she'll skin us alive." Garrus motioned to Foster who loaned him his engineering skills as they began to repair the Mako.

Wrex stood guard.

Hobbs watched Shepard as she moved in a fury of strides.

The whole area was eerie and silent as they pressed down what used to be a staircase but now was so overgrown and hidden under brush it was almost unrecognisable. They had almost reached the bottom when Kaidan tripped, falling forward gracelessly and Shepard snapped round steadying him by shoving him roughly in the opposite direction.

"Keep your feet Alenko." She said sharply and he steadied himself once more, blushing a little as he muttered an apology. He was just thankful the helmet saved everyone seeing his embarrassment.

Hobbs smiled but it faded fast as a familiar whirring noise sounded over the side of the staircase and before he could react Shepard was already moving her body a glowing orb of biotic power as she brought up her barriers and began to lay into the geth waiting for them.

The sound of gunfire rallied his senses and he quickly moved to cover, Kaidan ducking beside him and he paused momentarily considering kicking him back out into the open before his senses reminded him that would be certain death for the guy.

"Not content stealing my girl you have to steal my cover now?" He bit off under his breath not sure if the lieutenant heard it or not as he peered over the top only to duck swiftly back down as a rain of bullets bit into the stone masonry they were hiding behind.

Hobbs held his breath, glancing round the edge of cover spotting Shepard ducked behind a low wall not too far ahead of them. Her hands were over her head – which in typical Shepard fashion was helmet-less, no matter how often he told her she never listened - hair falling loose around her face as she bared her teeth – grit and dirt and moss peppering her where she was crouched.

The gunfire was not letting up, and as they fired on her he saw two geth approaching her position intending to flank her while she was under pressure. He closed his eyes, knowing he had to see this objectively but before he could work a plan he heard the lieutenant beside him move.

"Shepard!" Kaidan shouted, and the sound of his voice drew her attention as she motioned for him to stay put frantically, but he wasn't listening. Hobbs turned, grabbing for him, but he was too fast, shifting under his grip and rushing out into the open under the barrage of gunfire.

He could see the lieutenant's shields take the hits and he turned throwing biotic warps at the approaching geth knocking them back as they shook violently and sparked, exploding in a hail of shrapnel and smoke. He crouched beside Shepard, and Hobbs cursed under his breath, turning quickly and shooting the remaining two geth in the head with his pistol.

"Hobbs." Shepard said and he paused checking the way ahead which was now clear before getting to his feet carefully.

As he made his way to them he could already see the lieutenant was bleeding, the wound was low on his person, close to the stomach and he grimaced as he came to a stop.

"Not your cleverest." He said with a small smile and Shepard glanced up at him.

"Give me your medigel." She said holding a gloved hand out. Hobbs complied, handing her what medigel he had and watched as she applied it over the wound gently. "You have to get him back to the Mako." She said at last.

"I'm fine." Kaidan ground out between his teeth "I'll be fine Commander."

She shook her head "No Kaidan. You're not. You need to give this time to knit – otherwise you will tear your wound open and bleed to death." She added harshly "Stop arguing with me." With that she got to her feet looking one way and then the other "Get him back to the Mako." She said to Hobbs "I'll go on and find the security console and meet you all back there."

Hobbs hesitated, looking down at the wounded leuitenant and then back to her "Shepard…" He started and she pointed a warning finger at him to halt his protests. Then she was moving again, and he had to stop her, had to go with her – there was no way she could go alone.

But she had given the order.

Without a word Hobbs stooped to lift the lieutenant into a fireman's carry, careful to apply pressure to the wounded area for maximum discomfort.

"Hobbs." Kaidan grunted, scrabbling to find a hold on his armour "I can walk. Put me down."

"Shut it Alenko." Hobbs barked "Wanted to be the hero – ended up the damsel." He added smirking "Story of your life, eh?"

"Fuck you Hobbs." The lieutenant grumbled, hissing as Hobb's shoulder armour dug painfully into his wound.

"Stop bleeding on me." Hobbs added "This armour is expensive."

"There's some kind of strange signal," Garrus announced when his omni-tool pinged an alert. He opened it and gazed in consternation at the amount of signatures roaming the landscape. Foster stared down at the map.

"What are all those red dots?"

Wrex cracked up, bellowing laughter. When Garrus and Foster looked at him as if he'd lost his mind, he stopped. "What? I thought he was joking!"

Garrus' mandibles clicked in agitation. "Damn! There's no way they can handle all of those geth!"

Foster, grimy and covered in sweat even with the cooling system in his new armor, had finished the last repair and turned off his omni-tool. His eyes widened at the number of dots, each one representing a geth, and he was unable to hide his growing fear that he'd never see his brother again.

"Are the large blips what I think they are?" he asked.

"Sorry, but they are. The large blips are Armatures and the smaller ones are geth." Garrus laid a talon on Foster's shoulder. "Take it easy, kid. We've got the Mako, which gives us a major advantage."

"Yeah, thanks to you." Wrex whopped Foster on the back, knocking him against the Mako. "I might even start liking you. You've got a quad on you!"

Garrus raised two, long, thick fingers. "Cut the chatter. We're taking the Mako here." He pointed to a spot on the map. The most geth are there."

"Ha-ha-ha!" Wrex rubbed his hands together gleefully. "My kind of day! Killing more geth—lots more geth."

Garrus took the wheel and drove. Foster was happy to let him. Driving the Mako had been an experience, but not one he wanted to repeat. The Mako crawled through an open area. Garrus had them keep their eyes peeled for an ambush. It was eerily quiet in the confines of the vehicle.

"No sign of them yet," Foster muttered. He had the port open and his sniper rifle resting on it, ready for a shot.

"There's an Armature control station," Garrus said, pointing. "We program that to take out the geth and that should even the odds some." He tapped the HUD screen on the Mako console. "Three green blips were above where they were. Garrus was so relieved to see all three of them, he didn't hear Foster at first, but the new recruit repeated it.

"Guess it's a good thing I'm an engineer."

"Hop out and re-program that thing. We've got your back." Wrex said, giving him a shove toward the door.

Wrex opened the door and Foster jumped down to the ground. He kept low as he raced across the expanse to the control. He had mad skills, but he knew his new omni-tool accomplished most of the work. He pressed the button that indicated he was switching targets from living to synthetics and was gratified to see the console accept the change.

He returned to the Mako and climbed in, trying to conceal how hard he was shaking.

"I smell fear," Wrex stated and chortled. "Fear's good. Respect it, Fos, but never let it rule you."

Shepard moved silently, pressing to the ruins and the structures dotting the landscape of Ilos. So far she had been lucky to move unhindered, but ahead she could see geth setting up some kind of perimeter, at least a squadron of troopers and an armature in her direct sight – but her omnitool scanner showed more further on.

It was not looking good.

The area was flat, dotted with dried, twisting trees and dead leaf litter and ahead she could see the room that her sensors told her held the console she needed. She was almost there.

Taking a steadying breath Shepard brought up her omnitool interface, scrambling the signal for the geth armature with sabotage instantly overheating the gun turret and rendering it useless. The tactic worked but it gave away her position, the armature swinging around to detect the source of the stealth attack.

Almost immediately the geth troopers began firing at her, the rounds hitting her shields as she quickened her pace, closing the distance comfortably and erecting a biotic barrier simultaneously as she launched a ferocious punch to the geth nearest her. The light in the light in the centre shattered, the pain jarring up her arm as she raised her pistol, firing direct into the metal head as the geth crumpled beside her.

She gathered her biotics, sending a wave out in an arc and the geth stumbled back allowing her time to bring her pistol up smoothly shooting, one –two – three in the head as they fell, sparking and shaking before shattering in an array of tiny explosions, circuitry and wiring flying everywhere like blood and guts.

But now she was out of time.

The previously defunct armature had recovered systems from her sabotage and stalked round, the siege pulse assault canon aiming directly for her mercilessly. She moved, ducking behind cover swiftly just as the blast crashed into the ground beside her sending dirt and grass and rock spraying over her as she cradled her head.

She heard the armature moving, the great crunch of its mechanical legs making the ground shake as it moved toward her. Catching her breath she pulled her biotics through her again, getting to her feet in a fluid motion and channelling that energy outwith herself. It hit the armature heavily, lifting it from the ground where it kicked and thrashed and then she brought it back, letting the armature crash to the ground, its legs buckling beneath the weight of the main body.

Without waiting she fired her pistol, the bullets hitting shields briefly before the shields shattered and at last the rounds began to hit metal, plating and smoke drifting toward her as she bore down on the machine with cold fury.

Her omnitool flashed again and she passed an overload onto the armature, the mechanics inside crackling and grinding as it struggled to get back its feet. She staggered back as it reared up, the smaller gun aiming for her as it began to fire.

The rounds hit her shields and she grit her teeth, taking another step back as the armature forced her to take cover once more. A bullet ripped through the shielding and kinetic barriers, burrowing deep into her shoulder as she cried out – her biotics flaring to life as her anger rose to the surface.

With a heavy grunt she charged, pushing biotic energy from her that tore at the metal plating of the machine. She pushed further, her skin glowing brighter as she sent a train of energy straight at the hulking monstrosity and this time it barrelled against it, knocking it back as the successive blows tore chunks from the machinery causing it to spark and blister and burst as it writhed on its back like an insect.

Shepard watched as it finally stilled, panting, her chest heaving as she leaned forward onto her knees to catch her breath.

It was then she heard the mechanical sound of more legs and looked up to see another armature cresting the hill and behind it another.

"You got to be kidding me." She panted.

Foster watched the trek of the two armatures he'd re-programmed on Garrus' omni-tool map. He grinned.

"That ought to help her out some. I could always…"

"No, you couldn't!" Garrus cut him off sharply. "Corporal Vindex Hobbins, you'll stay here, and that's an order."

Foster winced at the tone of command, something he usually shied away from or blatantly ignored. "I just meant if _you _thought one of _us_ needs to help out the _commander_." He gave the turian his most charming smile.

"Nice try, kid." Garrus gently patted him on the shoulder. "I know you're worried about your brother. Hobbs can take care of himself."

"I know that." Foster's mouth turned down. "I just thought Commander Shepard could use some assistance."

"Commander Shepard's a one-man army, Fos." Wrex spoke up, having stayed out of it until now.

Garrus straightened when he heard the familiar sound of more geth approaching their position.

"Looks like a whole squad. Stay sharp." Garrus signaled Wrex and the huge krogan lumbered left to take position behind one of the numerous stone barriers. "Foster, go right. Wait for my signal."

Foster nodded. He had an idea, but he waited to see what Garrus' orders would be, so he took shelter, clutching his sniper rifle, chewing his bottom lip, digging into the dirt with his boots, trying to expel as much nervous energy as he could.

Garrus signaled and the krogan and corporal flanked the geth squad as it came up the narrow staircase. Foster held his two grenades and let Wrex know he was going to throw them as soon as the geth came out into the open.

Wrex nodded and gripped his shotgun. His barrier shield glowed blue as he activated it just as the geth came into view.

Foster tossed the grenades into their midst and he and Wrex ducked behind cover as the cryo grenades turned the squad into ice statues. Garrus picked them off with his rifle; Wrex shot them close range with his shotgun and Foster toppled them, watching with satisfaction as they broke into a million pieces.

Garrus laughed. "Now, why didn't I think of that?"'"That's a whole shit load for me, Gare."

"Don't ever call me Gare again," the turian chided, but Foster saw the way his mandibles twitched and knew he was amused.

Wrex chuckled loudly.

All three froze when they heard the tred of heavy footsteps.

Shepard was a fury of motion, moving with blistering speed, her body a solid, fluid corona of energy as bullets grazed by her – deflected by her barriers as she pushed out biotic move after move.

She was fading fast, her skin burning to touch and she knew burnout was not far from seizing her, but she couldn't stop. She had to get to that console.

The armatures, for some reason she couldn't figure out, were attacking the geth alongside her, but she was in no position to argue or complain. With another push she pushed the geth back firing two rounds to the head and one to the chest of the nearest trooper while dodging a melee attack from a shock trooper. She swung back, bringing her leg up and kicking the chest of the creature, knocking it back a few paces as she raised her gun, the light in the centre of its head shattering with a hot pop as she pumped rounds into it.

Behind her the armatures ground and whirred as they came to a stop, detecting no more hostiles in the area. Shepard glanced behind her, the eerie size of them made her uneasy as she pushed away from the clearing, heading for the staircase ahead that according to her omnitool would lead to the security console.

Stumbling she pushed up the staircase into an overgrown chamber, her omnitool scanner telling her this was where the signal was located for the console. It took a moment, for the room was so overgrown and derelict nothing immediately stood out.

Moving to the console she pulled the vines from the screen, swept the dead leaves from the holo-board and began to wake it up. The green glow of the console showed systems in prothean – a language she could understand thanks to the cipher she had received on Feros – and swiftly she hacked the controls, opening all secured doors and allowing access to all lifts. It would give Saren a head start too – but there was no way that bastard was getting to the conduit before her.

Closing the console down once more she backed away the sound of an explosion below making her start. The mechanical grating sound of geth communicating floated up toward her and she ducked behind the wall, pressing her back there. It would appear they had taken out the armatures and were coming for her next.

"Almost there darling." Hobbs grunted, the weight of the lieutenant starting to make his back ache as he moved steadily through the ruins. When he didn't answer Hobbs jostled him a little, making sure to dig his shoulder into the wound. When there was still no response he shook him a bit more. "Alenko?" He asked and then sharper still "Alenko?"

At last there was a low groan and Hobbs caught his breath, relief washing through him momentarily "Come on." He panted "Don't fall asleep on me now, I'm just getting warmed up."

"Shut up Hobbs." Came the weak response, but he knew the man was fading fast, knew that if he were going to make it he had to get that adrenaline moving absent a stim.

"Come on Alenko – you die here I'll have no choice but to take Abby to bed with me. Girl will need some serious consoling after this." He half smiled, raising his leg carefully to climb the staircase as he stabilised the weight to stop him toppling back down the stairs.

It got a bit more of a reaction from him, he felt him move on his shoulder, his hand which had been dangling limp curled around the shoulder of his armour and Hobbs had never been so thankful to have the man put his hand on him

"You keep your hands off her." Kaidan said, the words laced with pain and muffled from inside his helmet.

Hobbs smiled, jostling him a little for discomfort and was gratified when he let out a painful grunt, he had to keep the man awake "No promises there Alenko." He warned "Me and Temps have history. History you wouldn't get."

"I don't give a shit Hobbs." Kaidan grunted "the visor of his helmet steaming with his ragged breaths "She chose me."

Hobbs grit his teeth, muscling forward as he cleared his throat "Then stay awake lieutenant, because the moment you fuck up I'll be waiting." _Stay awake, stay awake, stay awake_.

Kaidan's hand slackened on his armour and Hobbs gave him a jab in the ribs with his shoulder "Kaidan?" He said, cresting the top of the stairs "Kaidan?" When he got no response he reached a hand over to slap the man's helmet. "Kaidan?!"

Another jerky movement and the lieutenant's voice rasped through the speaker in his helmet "Fuck you Hobbs." He groaned.

_Stay awake_.

"Get in line." Hobbs replied with a grin. "Behind Abigail."

It was surreal, the cold from the cryo still lingering as a mist in the air—frozen geth particles starting to thaw out, some white liquid glistening in the grass. The mist parted, wisps floating away as a tall, imposing figure appeared, and at first it was a mirage, a two-headed mirage, and then the figure coalesced into two, one in blue armor slung over the other's shoulders, clutching at the one in black. Helmets were over the faces, but Foster saw a pair of sizzling turquoise eyes blazing through the slit on his helmet.

For a moment, Hobbs paused when he saw the three of them and it registered the Mako was quite a few yards from where they'd left it.

"Kaidan?" Garrus quickly opened the Mako and rummaged in the med supplies for med-gel and bandages.

Hobbs put him down unceremoniously in the grass and stood nonchalantly, his gaze never leaving his brother. "You behaving, Beer?"

"That's Corporal Beer to you," Foster razzed him.

"You're bleeding," Hobbs observed, eyes narrowing.

"Geth ice chip caught him on the chin."

"I'm fine," Kaidan tried to stand and fell back, landing with a thump against Wrex who grunted. "I…Shepard…"

"The _Commander_ was under heavy fire and you decided to try and play hero Alenko. We all know why so stow it." Hobbs spat.

Foster's eyes widened. He knew that voice. His brother was pissed.

"You hurt?" Foster tried to keep the anxiety out of his voice.

"I'll live," Hobbs transferred his searing gaze to the hapless lieutenant. "I'm heading back," he announced.

"Shepard said…" Kaidan struggled to his feet. "If you're going back, I'm going,too!"

Hobbs removed his helmet and held it in the crook of his arm. His gaze burned into Kaidan's soft brown eyes.

"Will you two pyjacks stop it?" Wrex pushed them apart.

Garrus cleared his throat. "Did Shepard tell you to come back, Hobbs? Because unless you can get on your comm and I hear her say the words, you're staying here."

"Fuck you, Garrus." He tempered the words with a tight smile. "I don't take orders from you. Or Shepard for that matter."

Garrus' long talons pointed at Hobbs, the tips reflected in the black armor. "But _we _take orders from Shepard." Garrus' gaze centered on Kaidan. "Right, Lieutenant?"

Foster snickered and then turned it into a cough when it brought Garrus' attention to him. "I…yes, of course."

Hobbs stood arrogantly, lips curled in a sneer. Foster almost felt sorry for Stinko—almost.

Needing an outlet, Hobbs switched his ire to his brother. "I better not find out you've been misbehaving."

Foster gave him the finger. "Nope."

Hobbs brought a palm flatly down on the top of his brother's helmet with blunt force. Foster backed a step. "Ouch, dammit, that hurt!"

"Boys," Garrus scolded.

Wrex huffed a laugh.

"Let's get in the Mako and meet Shepard—save her some walking." The others nodded at the turian's request.

Kaidan started to get into the Mako and Foster stuck a foot out, tripping him. He was close enough to the door to grab it to keep from falling. He whirled, body starting to glow blue. "You did that on purpose, Corporal!"

"No, sir, I wouldn't do something like that, sir."

Kaidan scowled. He noticed Hobbs was watching and in one of his gloved hands he gripped the handle of a K-bar knife.

"Are you…?" Kaidan's skin crackled with biotic energy. "Are you daring…?"

"Talk much?" Foster muttered. Garrus glared at him, and he lowered his gaze.

"Garrus, give me some of those bandages. I'll cut them to size for the lieutenant." Hobbs ground out. He spat, the spittle landing on the top of Kaidan's boot.

"You arrogant sonavabitch!" Kaidan launched himself at Hobbs, but Hobbs wasn't there and Kaidan's arms wind milled as he overshot the door and landed hard on the ground. He leapt to his feet, blue swirls appearing, his hands aglow.

Hobbs threw his helmet down into the grass. "Come on!" he goaded. "Bring it!"

Garrus and Wrex exchanged looks and nodded. Before the men could injure each other, Wrex grabbed Hobbs and Garrus hauled Kaidan into the Mako, slamming him onto the seat.

Hobbs didn't struggle. He met a pair of blue eyes that were swimming in tears. He went limp in Wrex's grip.

"You good?" the krogan asked him.

Hobbs felt like the words were broken glass across his tongue. "I'm good."

Wrex released him. Garrus had placed his menacing presence in the doorway, blocking Kaidan from leaving and Hobbs from entering.

"Let's play nice," he advised.

"I'm going back to Shepard," Hobbs announced.

"I'm going with you," Foster said.

Hobbs scowled fiercely at him. 'The hell you are, and what the hell are you crying for?!"

Foster grinned. "It's called a little bro ploy, to keep you from being brought up on murder charges of an Alliance officer. Worked like a charm."

"Yeah, well, we'll discuss it in private." He shot Garrus a look that told him the turian would have to physically restrain him.

Garrus sighed. "Of course you are."


	21. Chapter 21

Title: Ilos Chapter Four  
Authors: DinkyMew and Jagespages  
Game: Mass Effect (one)  
Disclaimed: Bioware own all content and characters related to the Mass Effect franchise. Abigail Shepard is my own creation inspired by the character of Jane Shepard created by Bioware. Any original characters contained herein are my own creations (with the exception of Vindex Foster who is the sole property of Julie Jones and the Swagger Vasa Chronicles) and are not necessarily affiliated with Bioware. **You may not copy, edit or distribute this fanfiction as it stands without my expressed permission – thank you**

* * *

"How the hell did you get the Mako through?" Everyone snapped to attention when Shepard appeared, trudging towards them, her boots making a swishing noise through the grass. She came to a stop looking at them each in turn before turning her attention to Garrus.

"Report Vakarian." She said, wiping a hand over her forehead absently.

Quickly Garrus filled her in on the events and how they had managed to get the Mako free. She noticed Kaidan was looking like he had more colour in his cheeks but he wouldn't meet her gaze and it bothered her a little. He had done something reckless, but he should know her better that she wouldn't be calling him out about right now.

"Get in, people," she urged. "Time isn't something we have a lot of."

As they all filed into the Mako Garrus took over the drivers seat, Kaidan taking the seat next to him and Shepard settled in next to Hobbs and Foster. Wrex slid onto the opposite side, slamming the butt of his shotgun between his scaly knees.

"You alright there bambi?" She asked, reaching across Hobbs to press a hand to Foster's shoulder.

"I'm fine, Commander." He nodded, but she noted the weariness in his posture, he had done good considering how far in the deep end she had thrown him.

"Corporal, what you did with the Mako showed ingenuity. Good job." She stretched out her legs. "Saved me some walking."

"You're hurt!" Kaidan's voice from the passenger seat sounded and she glanced round to see him looking over the headrest at her "Are you ok?"

Garrus half turned to look himself at the commotion, and Shepard shook her head.

"Drive, Garrus," she ordered. "If the geth allow, I'm going to catch some Zzzs." She leaned her head back against the headrest as the Mako jounced and rattled through the ruins.

"You're on burnout." Hobbs said and it wasn't a question. His hand came to her armour and she made to fend him off, but he caught her fingers, holding them a little longer than was appropriate – the moment freezing the blood in her veins as it ripped her back through time, back to a moment before – stolen memories that rose like some kind of undercurrent inside her as his touch sparked a biotic reaction that made her skin flush with heat.

"Stop it Tempy." He said, quiet enough only they could hear his words and she moved her hand, allowing him access to her armour. He removed the fastenings at the shoulder, exposing the wound to the air as a fresh gout of blood rolled down her arm.

"Shredder rounds." He said turning to accept the medical supplies from Foster who was holding them out ready "Nasty."

"I've had worse." She smiled and he nodded chuckling softly with her.

"I remember."

Cleaning the wound gently he closed it with a medigel patch and helped her strap her armour back on securely. She smiled faintly, her eyes growing heavy as she leaned back once more and he thrust a bottle into her hand.

"Come on Tempy." He coaxed, and she felt him slap her face gently "Not yet – drink."

She nodded, bone weary as she forced her eyes open and unscrewed the cap of the bottle he had given her. The high grade energy drink was like a new lease of life, a second wind that soared up from her feet almost as she drank hungrily. When she was finished he took the bottle back and gave her a lopsided smile.

"Sleep on." He said gently "I'll wake you."

* * *

"_Abby!" Libby screamed, and Shepard paused on the doorstep – her hand tightening on the bottle of wine she held momentarily as she gauged the other girl's reaction. It was open, and loud – so loud – but that wasn't unusual for Libby. Neither was the very revealing tank top, her bosom looking like it was barely held inside, as she bounced toward her out onto the front stoop, gathering her in skinny arms and crushing her against the great, soft cushion of her eagerly._

_Abigail hated touching other people. Libby seemed to thrive off it. _

_Not a good match._

_And yet as she pulled back Shepard was reminded that while this girl was altogether too touchy-feely for her, she was also her best friend – probably her only real friend from Blue Horizon, and no matter what you should never burn those bridges. Especially now they were all heading out on their own to face the world alone._

_Most had enlisted in the Alliance, a few were still undecided – Abigail among them. Captain Anderson – now known to her as 'Paps' - was pushing for her enlistment, but she was dragging her heels. Her father had wanted to be in the military and it had ate him up when he had been rejected, she didn't want to suffer the same fate._

"_I'm so glad you came!" She gushed "I didn't know if you got the message!"_

_Abigail handed her the bottle of wine, if only to stop her hugging her again and gave her a firm smile "I got the message." She said simply "And you said there was a surprise?"_

"_OH!" Libby squealed, and Shepard closed her eyes, the noise running over her skull like glass as she kept that smile forced onto her face. "That's right!" She breathed, and she reached for her not noticing the way Shepard tensed and drew back from the gesture as she wrapped glittery fingers around her wrist and hauled her inside. _

_The house was busy– compared to the neat and tidy home Shepard had seen before it was almost unrecognisable. Bottles were strewn on every clear surface it seemed, the beat of a sound system making the foundations shake as she was dragged through the rooms, weaving through bodies smoothly as she skipped to keep up with Libby. She recognised some of the people, not a lot – it seemed a lot of Alliance recruits had decided to come to the party. _

_Libby stopped, allowing Shepard to draw her hand back to her as she adjusted the bottom of her red sweater. She felt overdressed as she glanced around at the scantily clad ladies – her tight black jeans and red sweater seemed a mite homely and she folded her arms under her breasts self-consciously as she looked expectantly to her friend._

"_You remember Hobbs." Libby breathed, splaying a hand and indicating a marine who was sat on the sofa with a beer in his hand, surrounded by a gaggle of girls fawning over him. _

_Shepard took one look at his handsome, confident smirk and felt the blood boil under her skin._

"_So?" She shrugged and Libby deflated, reaching to grab her again. This time Shepard did move in time, avoiding the offensive touch but not the gentle push that followed, turning her shoulder so Libby could whisper in her ear._

"_He came here looking for you." She whispered "He's been looking since he saw you in that club… now that's something no?"_

_Shepard gave her a withering look "No." She said dully "Means nothing to me."_

"_Oh Abby!" Libby scoffed, giving her a mild push, she turned back toward the sofa and Shepard kept her vision carefully trained to the dancing crowds but she heard her friend shout "Good luck! You have your work cut out with this one!"_

_With that she was gone, swallowed up by the dancing bodies in the crowded lounge and Shepard felt herself bristle as the first feelings of claustrophobia crept in. She closed her eyes._

**_Screams._**

**_Hot and terrified and burning with the same intensity ripple through my ears and I try to catch my breath but it's not there anymore, instead there is burning, burning in my lungs and in my legs as my mom half pulls me half drags me up the stairs of our house. Her swollen belly gets in my way, my baby brother pressing me to the wall as she heaves, pushing me in front of her as I scrabble up the stairs –fingers and nails and palms working in concert as I rake the carpet, push with numbed, bare feet and crash headlong onto the landing._**

_**She moves over me as the sound of gunfire erupts like hail, pop pop pop. She crushes me under her weight, head to the floor, the carpet biting into the skin on my cheek as I try to scream; my chest is constricted and I only manage a whimper, my mom's hand coming to flap my face and keep me quiet.** _

"_Are you alright?"Her eyes snapped open again as she whirled to the source finding that man standing beside her now, his fanclub still on the sofa pouting after him like some kind of undiscovered fish species._

_Abigail narrowed her eyes at him "What do you want?" She asked, the tone sharper than she intended but the sweat had started to mist her forehead, the same horrendous thundering in her chest threatening to make her pass out as she pushed a body roughly that danced too close to her. The party go'er cried out, turning to confront her but something in her eyes made him stop and sidle on._

"_You don't look so good." Hobb's continued, and she drew her gaze back round to him, drawing as much loathing as she could from inside her as she curled her lip._

"_Happens when I see someone I don't like." She said firmly and he smiled – smiled!_

"_Ouch." He said smoothly "So she does bite."_

_Rolling her eyes Shepard elbowed another body moving too close to her and began to unceremoniously push her way back through the crowd toward the kitchen. From this vantage point it looked decidedly less crowded. She had seen Argyle around – or Hobb's – as he was better known by; she had heard of his reputation and she wasn't interested in a playboy and so worked hard to put distance between them as she shoved a dancer out of her way, keeping hard eyes locked on her destination. _

_She squeezed free of the dancers, entering the kitchen with a huff of relief and crossing around behind the island counter. Without breaking stride she opened the back door stepping eagerly into the backyard which was empty and silent save for the low hum of the patio lights as they winked in the darkness. _

_She took a step onto the artificial grass, her sneakers sinking into it a little too far for it to feel real, as she rose her face to the sky wishing she could feel a breeze. Real air. But Arcturus was a Stanford Torus design station, the air in here was artificial, as was the sky which they changed to day and night to better acclimate the people who lived here. _

"_Are you alright?"It was him again and she turned sharply, taken aback by the fact he had followed her – that his persistence was apparently a testament to his ignorance– could he not tell she was not interested?_

"_What do you want Hobbs?" She asked, folding her arms again, blue eyes locking on his mercilessly. He looked genuinely curious, dressed in Alliance casual-wear, his dirty blonde hair was mussed, his green-blue eyes watching her carefully as she kept her face carefully devoid of emotion. She gave him nothing as she raised her chin and eyebrows expectantly._

"_Look," He said gently, the change in tone catching her off-guard but she was careful not to let it show as he took a step toward her "I know you have this like… barrier thing… going on? I just want you to know it's not necessary. I'm not here to hurt you."_

_She blinked, thrown. No one had ever just called her out like that – had been so plain-spoken about her wariness and it gave her pause. She shifted uncomfortable as her eyebrows knitted together._

"_So what do you want?" She asked exasperated "I've heard the rumours Hobbs. I know your reputation… what do you want to talk to me about?" She didn't wait for an answer, instead she took a heavy step toward him "Nothing that's what. You're looking for someone to bunk up with for the night and that is not me. So why don't you save us all a lot of time, turn around and go back inside. There are a dozen girls in there that will suit your needs just fine." She bit off spinning from him, taking a step further into the grass, right up to one of the patio lights that shone upward casting long shadows over her face._

"_I just wanted to talk." Hobbs said, his tone was controlled, bordering on frustration and she sighed heavily._

"_Why?" She shook her head, not turning to look at him this time "Why do you want to talk to me Hobbs?"_

"_Because." He said hotly, and this time his voice had risen a little "You looked lonely." He added after a beat. She paused, turning to look at him carefully "And I figured we maybe had something in common."_

* * *

As the Mako bounced and jolted along the ruins Kaidan got to his feet carefully, balancing on the hand rails as he made his way into the back of the Mako where Hobbs had his fingers on Shepard's radial pulse.

"What's happening?" He asked, looking at him seriously and Hobbs raised his eyebrows.

"She's on burn out." He said quietly "She'll come around. She's been in worse."

Kaidan looked at him a long time, deciding whether to take offence to the obvious statement about their history together. Instead he swallowed it down like jagged glass and gave him a polite nod, crouching in front of Shepard as he removed his gloves from his hands. Gently he pressed a hand to her knee, taking a deep breath "I suppose you would know more about that than me." He said at last and Hobbs swallowed, the acknowledgment making something lodge in his throat as he counted Abigail's racing heartbeats.

"How's your gut?" Hobbs asked and Kaidan nodded again.

"I'll live." He said simply "Thanks to you." He added pointedly his dark eyes looking to blue-green ones with unspoken meaning. Hobbs broke the gaze first, looking to the floor as he moved his shoulder.

"I..." He sighed, shaking his head softly "You know I don't _actually_ hate you Kaidan." He said quietly, and across the way Wrex snorted. He raised his eyes to the Krogan who was watching with a bemused look on his face. When his eyes met Hobbs' his great maw opened in a grin.

"Humans are so damned indecisive." He grumbled, barely folding his arms over his large chest as he moved in his chair to get comfortable.

Hobbs smiled, appreciating the truth in the krogan's words, but he was wrong. Hobbs had never been indecisive of Kaidan, he had simply been jealous beyond control.

"We're never going to be friends." Hobbs said at last, and he turned back to look at Kaidan seriously. The lieutenant was on his knees, his omnitool flashing in the dim light of the Mako interior as he measured temperature and pulse rate on the Commander. "And I'm never going to like anything you say." Hobbs added with a smile. "Because you talk a lot of shit Alenko." He chuckled. "But, you did say one thing that was true." He reasoned. "She chose you."

Kaidan shifted, uncomfortable as he closed down his omnitool quietly once more "I think you're right. I think she's going to pull through ok."

Hobbs nodded "You'd be surprised what Tempy can get through." He smiled.

"Thanks Hobbs." Kaidan said genuinely "For saving me back there. I… I took it the wrong way at the time, but I can see you were just trying to rile me. I appreciate that, you could have just let me bleed out and your problems would have been over."

"We're Soldiers." Was all Hobbs said, glancing round to his brother who had also fallen asleep, he sighed heavily, pressing Abigail's hand in both of his gently as he brought her fingers to his lips tenderly. Then he set them gently in Kaidan's hand and turned a little avoiding his gaze as he cleared his throat.

"Just look after her." He said thickly, waiting a beat before he got to his feet crossing the Mako and taking the empty passenger seat beside Garrus.

* * *

_Her light blue crests caught the sunlight and her blue eyes glowed, or, at least it seemed like that to the new recruit to the Blue Suns. She was slender even with the armor with the Blue Suns emblazoned across the chest. Cobalt eyes met his and she smiled, mocking him._

"_Take a holo," she said in a low, sultry voice. "It'll last longer." She rolled her eyes. "Why Zaeed has to give me the newbies…" She let it trail off. "And what's your name? Maybe you'll last long enough I might actually remember it."_

"_Foster."_

"_As in child?" Her eyes raked over him. He was green, too damned young and too damn good-looking for her peace of mind._

"_Nope." A megawatt smile turned him into a blond god for a moment, disconcerting her. "As in beer."_

_His answer made her pause and then she laughed. She reached into the Grizzly vehicle and tossed him a pistol. "Let's see how you shoot, rookie."_

_Foster nodded. "At?"_

"_What?"_

"_What do you want me to shoot?"_

_She pointed to the Blood Pack squad that was camped down the hill. "Them."_

"_With this?!" He shook his head. "Won't have much impact on krogan."_

"_Is this your cute way of saying you can't shoot?"_

_He smiled, then the blue eyes widened. "Did you just call me cute?"_

_That flustered her. "No, rookie."_

"_But you think I'm cute."_

"_Look, let's get this straight, Foster. I'm Zaeed's right hand girl and if I tell you to shoot, you shoot. Got it?"_

_He nodded. "I'll shoot, but not with that." He leaned into the Grizzly and lifted a Mantis sniper rifle. He checked to see if it was loaded and what kind of rounds. Shredder. He didn't like using shredder ammo, but newbies couldn't be choosy, he supposed. He climbed into one of the trees, rested the rifle on a steady branch and looked through the scope. His trained eye sought the leader of the group, the krogan the rest deferred to. The leader was a hulking brute with facial scars and hideous green armor._

_He blinked when he heard Sha'ira's voice in his head. "The krogan have a vulnerable spot…"_

_He smiled, aimed and pulled the trigger, dropping the leader with one shot. He climbed down and smirked at her. "Anything else you want me to shoot?"_

"_So, you're cute and a smartass," she remarked. "Get in. Time to clean up the rest of them."_

"_Not until you tell me your name." He crossed his arms over his chest._

"_Liselle. Keep the rifle, rookie. You earned it."_

Foster jerked awake and saw his brother give him a curious look.

"You were dreaming, Beer." Hobbs rolled his shoulders, hard to do in the armor, but he managed to release some of the tension across his back and neck. "Care to share?"

"Some other time," Foster said and reached for the hand hold when the Mako climbed an embankment going backwards.

Just as it did, two rockets flew past. Garrus remarked," That was close!"

"Hey, Beer, you up for a little target practice?" Hobbs waited for the Mako to come to a full stop, pushed open the door and vaulted onto the ancient road, Foster close on his heels.

Garrus turned to call after them. "We can use the…cannon." He placed a hand to his face in a decidedly human gesture. "Why do I even bother?"

Shepard, deeply asleep out of pure exhaustion never even batted an eyelash.

Hobbs motioned to his brother to stay to cover as rockets zipped past them.

"I don't need to get close. I just need a decent shot." Foster's back was to one of the stone archways and he inched around so he could look through his scope.

"You prefer distance to up close and personal, don't you, little brother?" Hobbs was activating his omni-shield and Foster froze.

"Another suicide run?" The blond ran his fingers across the top of his helmet, clearly agitated.

"There's only three of them. You chicken?"

Foster snorted. "Three of them with fucking rockets, and, no, I'm not chicken. I'm cautious. Big difference."

Hobbs snorted and made a clucking noise and flapped his arms like wings. He laughed when Foster gave him the bird.

He watched as his younger brother sighted one of the geth and took it out in one shot. "Where'd you learn how to shoot like that?"

Foster shrugged under his armor. "Different places; different people."

"Well, that leaves two for me."

Foster trotted after him, sighing as he drew his Stinger. "With rockets!"

"Stay behind my shield and see how it's done, bro."

Foster muttered something under his breath, activated his drone and sent it forward to take the geth's attention from his crazy-ass brother who was charging full speed at them, no matter how many rockets barely missed him. "Fucking mental," the blond said, speeding after him.

* * *

_Hobbs watched her watching the party-goers as they sat in perpetual silence and she avoided his gaze purposefully. She looked stunning, but she was cagey – flighty – and he knew he had to work to break that barrier down. Normally he wouldn't bother, but something spoke to him with this girl –something was special about her, he could feel it._

"_So," He said leaning back on his hands, they had decided to sit on the grass where it was quiet watching the party rage on inside the house. "now you've graduated where do you think you'll go?"_

_She didn't look at him, instead she shrugged her shoulders, picking at the blades of grass between her legs._

_He smiled, chuckling softly "You have to give me something…" He said quietly, almost pleading. _

_At last she looked at him, really looked at him, large blue eyes holding his in a vice-grip as she blinked at him calmly "I've thought about the Alliance." She said stiffly, her voice and face carefully expressionless "I don't know though. It's not really … me, I guess." She moved a shoulder casually, turning her gaze back to the grass._

_Hobbs smiled, rolling onto his side and propping his head on his hand "I think it's you." He said carefully._

_She raised her eyebrows looking at him "You don't know anything about me Hobbs." She said defensively "How would you know?"_

_He gave her a cheeky smile, knowing that conventional flirting was not going to let him through those barriers – no, for this one he had to pull out the big guns. "I think I know a lot more about you than you think Abigail Shepard." He said quietly, intimately and he could see immediately she began to recoil from him._

_She snorted "Yeah right." She scoffed "Tell me one thing you know about me." She said, her voice rising and bordering on challenge._

_Hobbs didn't react, instead he glanced to the grass, pursing his lips as though in thought and then sighed "Ok." He said softly "I'm what you call hyper-observant." He said gently "It's part of my job, Abigail."He smiled "For instance when you walk – you walk like a marine, shoulders forward, back straight – like you've been taught. People see that easily, and you like that – it gives off an impression, hardened exterior right? Just like your armour." He dropped his gaze to the grass to avoid intimidation as he continued "But I see the way you hang back before entering a room. The way your gaze slides over every face, never pausing too long on a single one. I see how you adjust your sweater all the time, self-conscious, insecure – maybe a bit nervous; not of crowds, or of leading – but of being lead." He swallowed carefully "Of being misled." He added carefully "You want someone to take that pain away, but you can never tell who is going to stay and who is going to leave and so you sink into this protective shell and you butt everyone out of your way to make sure no one gets in."_

_When he raised his eyes again she wasn't looking at him, she was staring ahead at the window but he could see by the tension in her posture and her shallow breathing he was hitting a nerve. That was good, he needed that – he wanted to show her he wasn't here to hurt her. He had no idea why that was so important to him, but it was. If he could leave tonight simply with a smile from her he would be happy. _

"_And I know that kind of thing only happens to someone when they've been grievously hurt. Beyond repair." He swallowed "But what I've found is when you have two wounded souls, it can offer comfort to know someone at least understands." _

_She turned to him, her eyes narrowing darkly as she drew her eyebrows down into a frown "Is that supposed to get you into my pants?" She asked._

_He smiled "I don't want to get into your pants Abigail." He said gently "Well, that's a lie." He added after a moment and shifted position, sitting up so he could look right at her this time "Because I think you are stunning. When you look at me, I actually honestly cannot see anything else. If I were to be blessed to get into your pants I would be… the happiest man alive– but not because I was getting some," He said carefully "but because I was getting you." _

"_You are very forward." She said "Has anyone ever told you that?"_

_He moved his shoulders "Just honest." He said evenly "I don't want to mislead." _

_He smiled and she blinked the corners of her mouth twitching before she turned her gaze quickly from him once more._

"Shepard?"The voice was distant, faraway and soothing as she slowly came up for breath, she felt like she had been underwater forever, her eyes fluttering open as a warm hand was pressed to her head. When she opened her eyes Kaidan was in front of her and she started, her eyes sliding one way and then the other before resting on his face.

"What happened?" she asked

"You hit a serious case of burn out." Kaidan said softly "But I think you'll be fine now. How are you feeling?"

Abigail caught her breath, getting to her feet a little unsteadily "I'm fine." She ground out as she swivelled her head around the Mako interior "Where's Bambi? Where's Hobbs?" She looked to Garrus who simply pointed a talon out the Mako side door. He looked almost helpless and Shepard sighed, rolling her eyes and moving to the open door.

She didn't have to look far for them though, they were already on their way back, arms slung over each other's shoulders Hobbs pulled his little brother to him –pressing a swift kiss to his temple before shoving him forward hard, making him stumble and laugh.

"Quite finished?" Shepard called to them and Foster immediately changed demeanour, hurrying to the Mako and scuttling back inside, but Hobbs just gave her a smile.

"Just clearing the way for you Tempy." He announced, climbing inside the Mako once more "All set to go."

As the Mako pulled off again, the motion forcing Shepard to grab one of the overhead hand rails, Hobbs took his seat in the back once more beside his brother. There was the grind of the canon preparing to fire as Garrus bore down on another squad of geth, blasting them to pieces with the Mako guns, and just as suddenly the Mako screeched to a halt.

"I think you might want to see this, Shepard." Garrus said and she frowned, moving to stand behind him as she peered at the way ahead. It was blocked, the other side visible but through a sheer barrier of golden light – it appeared solid and as she looked closer it seemed to waver with fibrous strands that shifted and undulated like waves.

"What is that?" She asked and Garrus moved his shoulders.

"Shepard, I have no idea." He said honestly.

"Alright."She said after a beat "Alenko come with me, the rest of you stay here." She glanced over them all as Kaidan came to her side, still pressing a hand idly to his side she noticed. "You fit?" She asked, raising her eyebrows at him and he cleared his throat, standing a little straighter.

"Absolutely Commander." He said with a nod.

"Let's go." She said firmly, and Garrus hit the lock for the door, waiting until they jumped down. Kaidan moved ahead of her toward the barrier cautiously and she mused at how much the moment reminded her of Eden Prime.

"You never learn, Alenko." She scolded and he glanced over his shoulder at her, with a curious smile "Let's see if we can turn it off down here." She gestured to an open lift to the right where her omnitool was picking up a signal deep underground.

"Right with you." He said, moving to her side as they entered cautiously. The door cranked shut behind them and moments later the great stone lift accelerated into the ground, the motion making them both stumble a little as they leaned against each other for balance.

When it finally shuddered to a stop they looked at each other a little nervously as the door ground open, snapping vines and overgrown plants. Shepard drew her pistol, her biotics whispering to life as she took a cautious step onto what looked like a stone walkway. At the far end some kind of VI program was flickering in and out of focus and she glanced to Kaidan questionably who shrugged.

Holstering her pistol she pressed forward, taking quick strides toward the VI. As she approached it began to flicker brighter, the holo signal broken so that the image was nothing more than scattered, glitching lines.

"You are not Prothean." It addressed her in a monotone, male voice "But you are not machine either. This eventuality was one of many that was anticipated. This is why we sent our warning through the beacons."

Kaidan came up beside her, breathing heavily and she noticed still holding his side. "Looks like a VI program," He said, the speaker on his helmet catching the heavy breaths he took. "Pretty badly damaged though, Shepard."

Before she could respond the VI spoke again "I do not sense the taint of indoctrination upon any of you unlike the one who passed by recently. Perhaps there is still hope."

"How are you speaking English?" Kaidan frowned, cooly regarding the program.

"I have been monitoring your communications since you arrived at this facility. I have transferred my output into a format you will comprehend." The VI explained helpfully. "My name is Vigil. You are safe here for the moment but that is unlikely to remain so. Soon nowhere will be safe."

Shepard shook her head "What are you? Are you an AI?"

"I am an advanced non-organic analysis system with personality imprints from Ksad Ishan, chief overseer of the Ilos research facility."

"So you lead me here?" Shepard asked, raising her chin a little "Why?"

"You must break a cycle that has continued for millions of years. But to stop it you must understand or you will make the same mistakes we did." Vigil announced calmly. "The Citadel is the heart of your civilization and the seat of Government. As it was with us and as it has been with every civilization that came before us. But the Citadel is a trap. The station is actually an enormous mass relay. One that links to dark space – the empty void beyond the galaxies horizon."

Shepard frowned, catching her breath as she glanced to Kaidan who removed his helmet, wiping a gloved hand over his misted forehead; sweat ran freely down his face, his hair plastered to his scalp was skewered at off angles from wearing the helmet.

"When the Citadel relay is activated the Reapers will pour through, and all you know will be destroyed." Vigil said.

Kaidan hitched a breath, blowing sweat from his top lip as he tucked his helmet into the crook of his arm "How come nobody has ever realized the Citadel is an inactive Mass Relay?"

His tone was dubious and Shepard watched him carefully, it _did _sound unbelievable didn't it? But they had all commented on how _strange_ the Citadel had seemed when they were on it. Could it be true? And more importantly at this point could they really afford to doubt it?

"The Reapers are careful to keep the greatest secrets of the Citadel hidden. That is why they created a species of seemingly benign organic caretakers. The keepers maintain the station's most basic functions. They enable any species that discovers the Citadel to use it without fully understanding the technology. This reliance on the Keepers ensures no other species will ever discover the Citadel's true nature. Not until the relay is activated and the Reapers invade."

Shepard caught her breath, her hand reaching suddenly for Kaidan's arm. "The Reapers could wipe out the Citadel fleet and the council in a single attack – no one would even see it coming." She whispered hotly.

"That was our fate." Vigil continued "Our leaders were dead before we even realized we were under attack. The Reapers seized control of the Citadel, and through it, the mass relays. Communication and transportation throughout our empire was crippled. Each star system became isolated, cut off from the others, easy prey for the Reaper fleets."

Shepard watched the swirling, fractured light as it spoke, the blood leaving her face as their fate was slowly unveiled to them. She felt Kaidan's hand move to hers, his fingers cupping hers gently, but she felt too numb and hollow to respond.

"Over the decades the Reapers systematically obliterated our people. World by world, system by system they methodically wiped us out."

Shepard shook her head "No one survived?" she pressed.

"Through the Citadel the Reapers had access to all our records, maps, census data –information is power, and they knew everything about us," Vigil explained. "Their fleets across every settled region of the galaxy. Some worlds were utterly destroyed. Others were conquered, their populations enslaved. These indoctrinated servants became sleeper agents under Reaper control. Taken in as refugees by the other Protheans they betrayed them to the machines. Within a few centuries the Reapers had killed or enslaved every prothean in the galaxy. They were relentless, brutal and absolutely thorough."

"What do they want?" Abigail asked, "Why repeat a pattern of genocide over and over? Are they looking for something?"

"Unknown,"Vigil stated flatly. "The Reapers are alien; unknowable. Perhaps they need slaves or resources. More likely they are driven by motivations and goals organic life could not hope to comprehend. In the end what does it matter? Your survival depends on destroying them, not understanding them."

"He has a point." Kaidan said softly and Abigail closed her eyes, her mind racing as she considered the Reaper Sovereign she had spoken with on Virmire. That voice still haunted her dreams, the absolute confidence that they were doomed.

Slowly she opened her eyes, letting go of Kaidan's hand as she squared her shoulders to the VI. "You said you brought me here for a reason," She said firmly. "Tell me what I need to do."

"The conduit is the key." Vigil said "Before the Reapers attacked Protheans were on the cusp of unlocking the mystery behind mass relay technology, Ilos was a top secret research facility. Here the researchers worked to create a small-scale version of a mass relay. One that linked directly to the Citadel the hub of the relay network."

"The conduit isn't a weapon?" Kaidan asked, almost disappointed "It's a back door to the Citadel."

"If it's just a back door why is Saren trying to find it?" Shepard frowned "There are a million other ways to get onto the Citadel."

"The Conduit gives him access to the Citadel and the Keepers." Vigil stated flatly"The Keepers are controlled by the Citadel. Before each invasion a signal is sent through the station compelling the Reapers to activate the Citadel relay. After decades of feverish study, the scientists discovered a way to alter this signal. Using the conduit they gained access to the Citadel and made the modifications. This time when Sovereign sent the signal to the Citadel the Keepers ignored it. The Reapers are still trapped in dark space."

"So Saren could use the Conduit to let the Reapers through…" Shepard said carefully "And he could use it to bypass the Citadel's external defenses?"

"Correct."Vigil agreed "And once inside he can transfer control of the station to Sovereign. Sovereign will override the Citadel's systems and manually open the relay and the cycle of extinction will begin again."

"How can I stop them?" Shepard asked, her heart seizing in her chest.

"There is a datafile on my console. Take a copy when you go. When you reach the Citadel's master control unit upload it to the station. It will corrupt the Citadel's security protocols and give you temporary control over the station. This might give you a chance against Sovereign."

"I've never heard of a master control unit on the citadel," Kaidan said worriedly."How can we find it?"

"Through the conduit." Vigil said "Follow Saren. He will lead you to your destination."

Shepard stepped forward, opening her omnitool to download the datafile from Vigil."Saren has enough of a head start.," She said breathlessly. "Lets move!"

"The one you call Saren has not reached the Conduit." Vigil said "Not yet. There is still hope yet if you hurry."

Shepard took a long last look at the fading VI program, each word felt as though it were being hammered into her chest as she swallowed the gravity of the situation with difficulty. Without a word she turned, jogging back up the stone walkway to the elevator that waited.

Kaidan rushed in after her and she slammed the button, the stone door grinding closed once more as the elevator began to ascend once more. She slammed her hand into the button again and again, slamming a foot into the wall, a fist into the stone. She crushed her eyes closed, pressing her forehead to the cold stone.

"We're going to lose." She breathed "this is it, Kaidan… the end…"

"Abby."His voice was soft, grounding, and his hand came to her shoulder gently "It's not over yet. We have time."

She laughed, soft and bitterly as she turned, slamming her back to the stone instead "He could be at the Conduit now," She despaired ."How am I supposed to do this?"

"You can do it," Kaidan said firmly, his gloved fingers raking into her hair gently."You don't know how to fail, Abigail." He leaned into her, kissing her gently."And I know you'll fight. We'll fight. We're worth that."

She nodded, pressing her head to his chest briefly as she drew strength from his presence "This is a weak moment." She said glumly "No one is supposed to see this."

Kaidan chuckled softly. "I'll be your shield to hide behind then." He said and she smiled, raising her head to look into his eyes.

"I like that idea." She smiled. "I love you."

"I love you too," He said and then after a beat added, "Commander."


	22. Chapter 22

Title: Ilos Chapter Five  
Author: DinkyMew and Jagespages  
Game: Mass Effect (one)  
Disclaimer: Bioware own all content and characters related to the Mass Effect franchise. Abigail Shepard is my own creation inspired by the character of Jane Shepard created by Bioware. Any original characters contained herein are my own creations (with the exception of Vindex Foster who is the sole property of Julie Jones and the Swagger Vasa Chronicles) and are not necessarily affiliated with Bioware. **You may not copy, edit or distribute this fanfiction as it stands without my expressed permission – thank you**

* * *

The mako peeled along the towering vaults of the Ilos crypts kicking up dirt and debris as it skidded one way and then the other the signal on the dash showing the tiny red blips of Saren and his men head of them. Always ahead of them.

Garrus belched into a closed fist, fighting to keep the contents of his stomach where they were as he cranked the controls, the Mako bending unnaturally as it slid up the wall and just made a sharp turn without flipping.

_Easy,_ he chided himself throwing a cautious glance over his shoulder at the others in the back _don't want to get accused of driving like Shepard._ At that thought he glanced to her, strapped into the passenger seat beside him her teeth were bared as she gripped the dash with gloved hands, her head bouncing with each jerky sweep and turn of the Mako.

Her face was flushed, her forehead misted with beads of sweat as she closed her eyes, her forehead creasing a little. "Where did you learn to drive Garrus?" She ground out.

He smiled, "Uh…from you Shepard." He gave her a grin and she rolled her eyes.

"Wooo-hooo!" Foster whooped as Garrus hit the jets and the Mako rose several feet into the air, the white whooshing energy of the armature, passing underneath.

Foster was prone on the floor and was secure because Wrex's huge feet were on his shoulders and Hobbs' boots crunched down on his butt, both holding him down effectively.

He was half-hanging out of the door, firing his sniper rifle at the rocket geth that flanked the armature.

Garrus glanced over the headrest. "I know I have excellent timing, but even I can miscalculate. Commander, could we please close the door?"

Shepard followed his gaze, turning in the passenger seat she gave Foster a shake of her head.

"Bambi," Shepard said sharply. "Door. Closed. Now!"

Foster obeyed with alacrity. "Okay to use the port, ma'am?" He asked, whooping with excitement again as Garrus jumped the Mako to avoid another blast.

Shepard exchanged a glance with Hobbs, whose chin was sunk in his gloved fist and he looked highly amused at his brother's antics. "He was hyper when he was a kid."

"Hey, "Foster said, not taking his eye from the scope, dropping another geth. "I'm not a kid!"

"Alright. Stow it Corporal," Shepard said mildly "We're almos-"

"Oh my…" Garrus' voice dripped with awe and Shepard turned to follow his gaze ahead where a beacon of light appeared to be stemming from the ground – only it wasn't coming from nowhere, in its centre a smaller version of a mass relay span with terrifying velocity.

"Is that the conduit?" Garrus asked, his small eyes coming to her unsure.

"Gun the Mako Garrus." Shepard ordered, spinning in her chair quickly "Hold on everyone, Bambi – off the floor now."

* * *

Joker watched Liara as she paced the cockpit, her blue eyes wandering over the consoles apprehensively.

"Any word?"

"Nothing yet." Joker said calmly "They'll be fine Liara. This is Shepard."

"I know." She nodded "But she should never have taken him with her. He has no experience in Alliance missions. He'll be a hindrance to the mission." She shook her head hotly, pausing this time to press hands on the back of the co-pilot chair.

"Who will be?" Joker frowned.

"Foster." Liara snapped "He's far too young for something like this."

"Too.. young?" Joker chuckled "Have you seen Hobbs? Those guys came from the same line, I think they only stock them in invincible Liara." He sighed "Why do you care all of a sudden anyway?"

"I don't." She protested quickly "I just… I'm worried about them all."

"Uh huh." Joker grinned, tipping his cap forward idly "I'm sure you are."

* * *

Garrus led them through C-Sec. It looked like a torture chamber. Dragon's teeth had been erected and he saw people he knew skewered on the things.

Foster took one look, produced his Stinger and put a round in every head. Garrus nodded his approval. At least they wouldn't be turned into those monstrous husks.

"Gar…rus?"

Garrus swung sharply to the left where the voice had come, recognizing it. "Chelick?" He drew in a sharp breath when he saw the blue blood pouring freely from the turian's head. He was leaning against the wall, barely able to support his weight.

"They…over ran us." Chelick coughed up more blood. "They're killing everybody!"

"Commander Shepard's here," Wrex spoke up, his voice rough with emotion. "If anybody can stop these bastards she can."

The light in Chelick's eyes flickered out and his damaged body toppled to the floor. Garrus crouched beside the body and gently closed the eyes. He straightened. "The medical clinic's this way." He led them up the flight of stairs. Foster stopped dead, staring out the viewing windows. Garrus knew all he would see was devastation, so he didn't look. He put a hand on Foster's shoulder and steered him away. "Focus," he said as they entered the clinic. "I have a feeling Shepard and her team will need more medi-gel."

They raided Dr. Michel's medi-gel dispenser and then hurried down to the Markets. Civilians might have fled there as well as Flux and Chora's Den.

The Wards were silent and that was more frightening than if the geth showed up in full force. Wrex gazed about uneasily and Foster chewed his bottom lip.

"This is all wrong," he finally said. "Nobody's here! Either they fled when the initial attack happened or the geth slaughtered them. We should be with Shepard!" He grabbed Garrus by the arm and gazed intently into his eyes. "Don't you see? The reason they're not _here_ is because they're all _there_!"

"Our orders were to secure the Wards," Garrus pointed out. "And that's what we're doing."

"Finally," Wrex stated, raising his shotgun. "Some action."

The other two heads turned and they stared as a geth drop ship flew past the observation window, followed by two more. The huge krogan huffed in disappointment. Foster rushed to the window, using the scope of his rifle to follow where they went.

He ran back to his team. "They're headed for the Tower." Anxiety washed over his features. "Saren must have called for reinforcements."

"Okay, mount up," Garrus commanded. "Shepard and her team will be overrun. It's up to us to see to it that doesn't happen."

They made a quick stop at one of the vendor's stores and upgraded their weapons as fast as they could. Wrex tried to summon a flight car and met with no success. "We may have to go on foot."

Foster shook his head. "Maybe not." He opened his omni-tool and by-passed the lock-down, activating the car that was parked there. They climbed in, Garrus taking the driver's seat.

"I have an idea," Foster said, tapping the rocket launcher they'd pilfered from the store.

Garrus smiled. "I like it so far."

Foster gestured out the front view screen at the last geth drop ship. "Get as close as you can."

Garrus brought the flight car to the side of the geth ship and Wrex opened the door, holding onto Foster around his waist so he wouldn't fall. The blond adjusted for wind shear and then fired. Part of the geth ship disappeared in a billow of fire and smoke poured from it. Foster fired again, targeting what he figured was the bridge. And then he fired at where he hoped the fuel supply was, unfamiliar with the design.

Garrus shouted, completely forgetting he was supposed to stay cool, as the geth ship exploded into shrapnel that he avoided. The good thing about flight cars was they could turn on a credit chit.

"Land near the elevator," Wrex suggested and Garrus complied.

Foster let another rocket loose and it hit a wave of geth that seemed to have been posted there to guard the entrance. Circuitry and parts flew in all directions.

Wrex yanked him back inside. "Ha, I might make a krogan out of you yet, kid!"  
The krogan shut the door and Foster returned to his seat, a big grin on his face.

"Brace for landing," Garrus said as the car careened past streaks of rounds that were being shot at them from another geth squad. The glass in the wind shield disintegrated and fragments sliced into Foster's neck and face. Garrus and Wrex were unharmed.

"You okay?" Garrus asked, casting a concerned glance over his shoulder.

Foster picked a piece of glass from beneath his right eye and nodded. "My fault. I'm not used to wearing the helmet."

Wrex picked it up where it sat beside him on the seat. "Put it on. I don't want to have to answer to Hobbs just because you were stupid."

"Hey!" Foster laughed and snapped on the helmet. "Better?"

"Much—now I don't have to see your homely human face."

For a moment there was silence and then the three occupants bellowed laughter. They knew it was to let off steam, to release tension. A lot of geth stood between them and Shepard, but they were ready to fight.

* * *

"Saren!" Shepard screamed aiming her pistol for the Turian's back and firing. She started the second set of stairs racing toward the Council's chamber, her legs pumping she barely glanced to make sure Kaidan and Hobbs were keeping pace. Reaching the landing she skidded to a halt – Saren was gone, in his place there was a glowing screen and console port – the master control Vigil had spoken of.

With a start she made to move toward the console already opening her omnitool to upload the datafile from Ilos, but as she took a step Saren suddenly reared up from the lower level, his flightpad under his feet he rose in the air a few feet above her as he threw a grenade.

The tiny, flashing disk, tinkered along the walkway and Shepard only just managed to stop herself running forward when it exploded. The heat blast crashed against her shields and the impact threw her backwards into Kaidan, both tumbling down the stairs in a tangle of limbs and groans.

Hobbs snapped his pistol round, firing at the hydraulics of the flight pad. The sound of bullet against metal rang throughout the room and then suddenly one of the capsule's burst as Hobbs managed a direct hit, rendering the pad off-balance enough that Saren toppled to the ground with a grunt. He got to his feet, firing his own pistol in return and Hobbs ducked behind the wall for cover just as Shepard got to her feet. Her shields were fried, and when Saren shot at her the bullets struck her armour directly, a few glancing off the plating but one sunk into her side and she cried out, doubling over as she pressed a hand to herself.

"Tempy!" Hobbs cried, his back pressed to the wall, his head in his chest. She scurried to him, pressing in next to him as he ducked lower, almost prone on the ground to inspect the wound in her side. They had done this before, years of working together – against each other; with each other; for each other, came almost naturally as he treated her wound while she banked around the corner firing at the turian.

Kaidan was getting to his feet, taking cover as the firing stopped momentarily. From where he lay Hobbs glanced up at her, mirroring her curious frown. Then, just as she turned her head to investigate, a military knife flashed against the firelight, coming around and down straight for her. Without thinking Hobbs yanked her by the hair, pulling her head to the side sharply as the dagger sank into the stone where her head had been moments before – Saren growled in contempt as he released the handle and launched a vicious kick at Hobbs.

It seemed as though he felt the blow in every part of his body as he skittered over ground, hands working over the surface trying to find purchase to stop himself. Through blurred eyes he saw Saren lift Shepard from the ground by her throat, her legs thrashing and kicking against his arms as he grinned maniacally at her.

"I was afraid you wouldn't make it in time Shepard." He said bringing her face close to his – so close she could smell his breath on her as she struggled in his vice grip.

"In time for what?" She rasped, her teeth pressing together as she brought her hands up, working nails into his grip – fighting to loosen it.

"The final confrontation." Saren said, as though he were explaining the obvious "I think we both expected it would end like this." He smiled at her, pressing his face even closer, so close her vision was filled with his small reptilian eyes "You've lost, you know that don't you? In a few minutes Sovereign will have full control of the Citadel's systems. The reapers will return."

Shepard shook her head "I still have a few tricks up my sleeve…" she gasped.

He laughed "Really Shepard? Like what?"

She smiled "Friends."

Before he could react Kaidan launched a biotic attack that hit Saren with a jerk, losing his grip on Shepard she toppled to the floor and the lieutenant grabbed her hand, hauling her to her feet.

Saren was unfazed though, he whirled on them and Kaidan raised his pistol ready to finish it but Shepard made a noise – one that gave him pause, as she shook her head lightly at him, the signal to wait.

"You survived our encounter on Virmire." Saren said thickly "But I have changed since then. Improved. Sovereign has… upgraded me."

Shepard took a step toward him, her eyebrows rising to the sky as she shook her head "Are you insane?" She asked hotly "You let a reaper _upgrade_ you?!"

Saren smiled, almost pityingly "You don't understand Shepard. There is a place for organics in the new order. The reapers need creatures of action like you and me. Sovereign recognises your value, surrender now and you will be spared. We can find a place for you with us."

Shepard pressed forward, determined to save the man Saren once was – there had to be some good left in him, she was sure of it "You're indoctrinated!" She cried "Don't you see that?"

The relationship is symbiotic." Saren insisted, slashing the air with a hand "Organic and mach-"

"The relationship is a lie!" Shepard cried "Sovereign hasn't won yet! Step aside and I can stop this invasion from happening – I can stop it taking control of the station."

Saren shook his head, taking a step back "We can't stop it." He insisted "Not forever, you saw the visions, you saw what happened to the Protheans, the Reapers are too powerful!"

"Come on Saren!" Shepard pressed and he pulled another pistol free aiming it at her. She raised her hands to chest height as beside her the lieutenant trained his gun on the turian, winded Hobbs moved to her other side, a pistol in his hand too. "You have to know this is wrong, somewhere." Shepard insisted "You can fight this."

For a moment the turian looked almost lost as his eyes searched the ground, "Maybe…" He whispered more to himself than to them "Maybe you're right…"He mumbled "Maybe there is a chance fo-" As he uttered the words he slammed a hand to his head grunting in pain, doubling over and stumbling a little as his nose began to bleed "The implants…" He groaned "It's too late for me… Sovereign is too strong…"

"No!" Shepard cried moving to him "It's not over yet Saren!"

"Goodbye Shepard." Saren said "Thank you." And with a swift movement he brought the pistol he was holding to his temple and fired. Shepard screamed, grasping for him, but his limp body tumbled backwards over the railing and crashed through the glass of the lower floor, landing in a jagged mess of blood and broken shards on the small garden below.

Shepard hesitated a moment before she charged to the console, opening her omnitool and uploading the datafile into the Citadel unit. It took only a moment, the screen flickering and flashing and then presenting her with the Citadel controls.

"Vigil's data worked!" She exclaimed, turning to see Hobbs and Kaidan watching her "I have control of all the systems!"

"Open the station's arms." Hobbs said moving to her side "The fleet can take out Sovereign before he can regain control of the station."

"Try opening a communications channel first." Kaidan said, "See what's happening out there."

As Shepard opened the communication channel immediately comm chatter began filtering in – the most distinctive transmission coming from a female voice, shrill and urgent as she cried:

"-Destiny Ascension. Main drives offline. Kinetic barriers down 40%. The council is on board – I repeat, the council is on board!"

"Shepard!" Joker's voice cut through the chatter "Normandy to the Citadel! Come on Commander, Normandy to Citadel anyone?!"

"I'm here Joker." Shepard said.

"Just caught that distress call Commander." Joker said firmly "We're sitting in the Andura sector with the entire Arcturus fleet – we can save the Ascension. Just unlock the relays around the Citadel and we'll send the cavalry in!"

"Shepard..." Kaidan's voice drew her attention and she looked to him "You sure you want to sacrifice the fleet to save the council?" He shook his head "We may need our fleets if-"

"Bullshit!" Hobbs snapped "This is bigger than any one species, Shepard open the arms and give the order."

"We should wait until Sovereign is exposed." Kaidan persisted "Attacking now is going to cripple our numbers."

"What is the order Commander?" Joker asked "Should we come in now and save the Ascension or hang back?"

Shepard glanced to the window, high above the Council chamber the geth were obliterating the Destiny Ascension and the Citadel fighters. There was no decision to be made.

"Opening the relays now Joker. We have to save the council, no matter the cost."

* * *

Joker nodded as the Normandy shot through the relay, the entire fleet on their tail as the first geth fighters appeared on their radar. The firing began immediately , the dark black of space suddenly a chorus of colour as high powered laser guns pumped energy at each other furiously.

He dipped the Normandy, her ability to move for him was unsurpassed fired on the nearest fighter.

"Alliance fleet move in, save the Destiny Ascension." Admiral Hackett's voice came over the Comm and Joker took measure of the scanner, spotting the Ascension under heavy fire. He took a geth fighter out easily, smiling as he reported into the comms "Destiny Ascension you are clear. Repeat you are all clear."

"The arms are opening, focus attack on Sovereign." Admiral Hackett's voice ordered.

* * *

Shepard swallowed, hoping she had made the right decision before she peered down to the lower level where Saren's body lay among the grass and glass. "Make sure he's dead." She said to no one in particular, but both men turned to head back down the stairs to the lower level.

A moment later they entered the garden room, their boots crunching over glass as Kaidan bent to look over Saren carefully. Hobbs drew his pistol and discharged a round into the turian's head which sounded with a sickeningly crunching wet thud, shrugging off the disgusted look Kaidan shot him.

"He's dead." The lieutenant confirmed through her speaker.

_It's over_, Shepard thought – but she knew it was a lie. It could never be truly over while the Reapers sat in dark space. They could still come, even absent a relay, it would just take longer. She was about to turn, to order the guys back up when the whole chamber began to shake.

At first she thought they had been hit by a ship outside, but it was _wrong_ it was like an earthquake, the structure of the chamber splitting and cracking angrily, glancing below she could see Kaidan lose his balance, toppling over in the grass and Hobbs throwing his arms out as he tried not to follow suit.

And then Saren moved.

Shepard frowned as the structure she stood on split and collapsed, sending her falling and tumbling forward, landing hard on the ground the wind rushing from her lungs. The wound in her side pulsed angrily and she felt her consciousness leave briefly as she fought to keep her eyes open. The chamber was red – red light reflecting off the broken glass, dancing over the walls – searing red light that burned her eyes as she held fingers up to shade the pain.

Ahead Saren was suspended in mid air – his body coming to bits as internal mechanics were pushed forward. It was a gruesome sight – far worse than any she had seen, as his skull snapped and moved – reshaping into a shadow of what it once was and two glowing red eyes found hers and held them with a cold, dead stare.

"Holy…" Kaidan muttered, readying a pistol as the three of them all took an instinctual step back from the monster. It cocked its head to the side, such a human gesture it made her shudder as she rummaged her person for her weapon, she must have dropped it and cursed, squaring against the thing as her biotics began to flare.

It watched a moment longer, and then hunkering down on long legs it launched for her.

Shepard propelled herself forward, driving her biotic energy to her fists as they crashed together and she launched vicious blows to the body of the creature, bones snapped against her gloved fists and she pressed the attack drawing from her training, from her hate and from her friends as she drew back a leg – her foot hitting the creature square in the chest and sending it sprawling backwards.

She backed off, breathless but the monster sprung for her again and this time she wasn't ready – a step behind she raised an arm to fend him off just as her vision turned orange – the monster crumpling against the omnishield Hobbs had raised as he dipped to his knees. She recognised the manoeuvre immediately – as though they had been fighting together only yesterday never mind years before. Planting a firm foot between his shoulder blades she launched herself into the air, over the rim of his omni-shield and brought both fists down in a flash of biotic energy onto the monster's head.

Still it seemed unfazed, merely stumbling backwards over the grass before launching another attack. It lunged for her, heavy arms tackling her to the ground and Hobbs watched in horror as she disappeared under the writhing mass momentarily. He battered the thing with the shield, careful to move it so he could fire his weapon too as it back off Shepard and turned onto him. He managed to cast a glance toward her, she was lying on the ground, her eyes closed, a nasty cut above her eye bled down the side of her pale face.

"Tempy…" He said, momentarily distracted as the creature butted his shield, knocking him back a step or two before he dug his heels in, ramming it forward as they engaged in an epic battle of push and shove for territory. Sparks rained over him as the husk scraped talons over the omni-shield and he grit his teeth, forcing forward with a roar as Kaidan ran to Shepard's side.

The monster seized the momentary distraction, swatting him aside like a fly and for a moment Hobbs was airborne, snapping his omni-shield back before he crashed onto the ground, rolling with the momentum and clattering against the wall painfully. With a groan he shook his head, turning just in time to see the thing set upon Kaidan. They had to stop fighting individually or they were going to get killed.

Shots rang out as Kaidan began firing on it, interspacing the cooldown of his gun with biotic attacks, and the monstrosity that was once Saren realised his threat with cold, calculating accuracy as he switched attack lunging instead for the Lieutenant. He raised his pistol to fire, but the monster closed the space between them too quickly, swatting his arm aside and Kaidan felt the pistol slip from his fingers with the force of the move. Gathering his biotic energies he threw out a blast that knocked the creature back, enough for him to have a breath or two, but the monster simply came scrambling for him again.

"Kaidan." He heard Hobb's voice behind him, glanced to see him ducked low, the omni-shield held at an angle and he nodded. As the monster closed the distance with worrying speed Kaidan pivoted on his heel, slamming a foot onto the shield and using the momentum to propel himself up and over the creature, unleashing a concentrated blast as he landed heavily behind it. The blast struck the creature in the back, forcing it forward with deadly momentum toward Hobbs. In the same instant Hobbs slammed the shield forwards into the creature's maw, the flat lethal ferocity of the blow catching the creature under the chin and sending it hurtling backwards, a move that would have killed any other opponent for certain.

As though realising the success of teamwork a look passed between the two men, and Kaidan thought he could see a smile on the operatives face, but it didn't last – momentarily stunned the creature simply crab-crawled and was heading for them again. This time Hobbs stood in the way ramming again with his shield as Kaidan moved, his skin burning – his head flush with sweat as he opened his omni-tool, triggering a sabotage that sent some kind of circuitry inside the thing sparking. It was a momentary stun, allowing Hobbs to drop the shield and deliver a blast of supercooled particles from his Omni-Tool in a cone of freezing cold that engulfed the monster – the temperature in the chamber plummeting.

"Get up Shepard!" Hobbs yelled, his attention still torn "Stop sleeping on the job!"

As though he had broken some barrier Shepard stirred, a hand moving to her head and Kaidan almost cried out with relief, turning to look at her – and that was his first mistake. Seizing the advantage he heard the creature roar and turned just in time to see it launch toward him.

"Kaidan!" Shepard cried, but the creature was on him in an instant, barrelling him over onto the grass and raising great mechanical arms to skewer him through. Hobbs was ahead of her, his pistol firing rounds into the back of the creature as he roared, the monotonous beep letting her know his pistol had overheated as he tossed it aside instead crashing headlong into the side of the monster with his omni-shield.

It tumbled sideways taking Hobbs with it, and Shepard barely had time to look at the lieutenant before she was running for the two of them. Raising one of those arms again she screamed as it came down too fast on Hobbs, pinned beneath the creature, and he cried out in agony as metal talons drawn together to form a deadly spike punched straight through his shields and kinetic barriers and into his gut.

"NO!" Shepard screamed launching onto the back of the creature and pulling with all her strength. It reared back, the spiked hand coming out of Hobbs with a sickly spurt of blood and it kept falling, intending to grind her into the ground beneath it. Realising last minute, she dropped and rolled sideways instead letting the thing crash on its back on the grass.

"Socks!" Shepard heard his voice, her head snapping up just as Foster, Wrex and Garrus came charging into the chamber.

"Someone call the cavalry?!" Wrex shouted charging the monster and delivering a brutal kick to its head that sent the machine skittering away, climbing the walls as it reassessed the situation.

Foster ran for his brother, gripping the lapel of his armour he gave him a rough shake. "Get up socks!" He cried "Get up, on your feet!"

The creature slithered too fast over the ceiling, from somewhere in its mechanics a gun appeared on the shoulder, firing rounds at them all as they scattered for cover.

"Damn pyjak!" Wrex roared "Too afraid to fight a Krogan face to face!" He snorted angrily, charging the creature as it dipped from the ceiling to a wall, gripping one long metal leg he yanked it off the wall with force, sending it sprawling and skittering over the grass once more.

The chamber erupted in a cacophony of shots as Kaidan, Wrex and Garrus began to fire on the creature while it darted from wall to wall. Torn, Shepard retreated back to where Hobbs lay, dropping to her knees beside him.

Foster got to his feet, shouldering his rifle as he scoped the target swiftly, he closed his eyes. Steadied his breathing and then in the last instant his eyes flew open and he fired. The shot cracked in the small chamber, hitting the creature in one of the glowing red eyes and sending it screaming as it banked up the walls again, keening and roaring at them in a gargle of mechanical noises.

"Get up Hobbs!" Shepard barked "You're going to lie here for this scratch?!" She patted him down frantically and then opened her omni-tool applying the spray gel she had left. It might stop the bleeding if he didn't move too much – and that was unlikely, but it was all she had.

He chuckled, blood pooling at the corners of his mouth as he spat angrily. She took his hand, Foster the other and together they hauled him to his feet as he groaned, pressing a hand over the wound.

Whirling Shepard turned on the creature just as it lunged from the ceiling for her –

"Tempy!" She heard Hobbs calling for her, that same feeling boiling inside her that she had felt once before – back on Mindoir, back when Spooner had fallen before her and instead of fighting it, she let it go.

There was a flash; white searing light filled her vision, burning her retinas as she gave herself over to that feeling inside her. She felt like she was falling, her fingers spreading wide as she grasped for leverage, a body, a steadying weight – anything.

As the surroundings darkened once more, she blinked, black spots swimming in her vision as she staggered, exhaustion threatening to overcome her. She spotted the creature writhing on the ground, the red light seeming to burn it up from the inside out as Foster approached firing a few rounds into the head of the creature.

The corpse began to shudder and vibrate, superheating as it began to smoke and disintegrate to nothing.

"Shepard." She raised her eyes to see Kaidan standing with Wrex and Garrus, his face a picture of concern as she staggered her vision fading in and out as she tried to catch her breath.

"Tempy." The voice was behind her, strong hands coming to her waist as she stumbled, half turning into Hobbs. She looked up at his ashen face, crimson trickling from his lips and she wondered absently how he could still be so strong. He read her thoughts instantly and flashed a bloodied grin as he pulled her close, both using the support of the other to steady themselves as an explosion rocked the chamber. She turned toward the sound, the noise of Sovereign exploding as the Alliance fleet rallied outside.

She frowned, the long window darkening as a piece of the ship came flying toward the room they were standing in.

"Move!" She screamed – feeling strong arms grab her just as everything exploded.

* * *

As his eyes fluttered open Kaidan coughed, the movement bringing with it a bout of coppery blood that he spat out onto the grass beneath him. He lay still, his cheek pressed into glass and grass as he sucked unsteady breaths into his lungs, his consciousness flooding back with such intensity it took him a moment to decipher his own thoughts.

Saren. Shepard.

He blinked. Something had exploded. He had heard her scream to move, and he had moved blindly, and then there had been an almighty noise, and then nothing.

Wincing he pushed himself up painfully, his ribs groaning angrily as bone grated on bone, his lungs wheezing and threatening to give out in pain as his vision darkened and brightened interchangeably.

"Shepard." He croaked, his throat feeling like he had swallowed some glass and that awful taste of blood filled his mouth and nose as he blinked finally taking in the carnage around him.

The council chamber was unrecognisable. Rubble and fire and smoke filled every crevice and corner, the window had shattered under the blow, the external security barrier saving them all from being sucked into space glittered and rippled above the room.

"Abby." Kaidan wheezed, moving to his knees. With a deep breath he pressed a hand to the grass, gritting against the angry pain and pushing himself to his feet. He staggered, looking over the mountain of rubble and twisted metal that seemed to have appeared where he last saw Shepard standing. Doing a small circle he looked behind him, the grass littered with glass and bits of tech, metal, grass fires and smoking debris. Among it all he spotted Garrus, the turian was lying on his side, his back to Kaidan and he moved to him kneeling by his side as he gripped his shoulder rolling him to his back.

His eyes snapped open, holding Kaidan's with intensity as he offered his hand and the turian took it as they helped each other to their feet once more.

"What…" Garrus whispered, his mandibles clicking as he took in the sight of the destroyed chamber "Where…"

They stood a moment, leaning against each other and then Kaidan was moving again. Garrus made to grab him, but he batted the talons away, moving on adrenaline only – or maybe love – as he trekked the rubble, sliding and stumbling as he began to dislodge debris. He had to find her.

She was alive.

That thought was singular and drove him forward as he stopped gripping his side and instead began to dig with two hands. He heard commotion below as C-sec officers pushed through, he heard Captain Anderson asking where Shepard was – the question igniting in his head like a siren, pounding through his blood with each heartbeat as he moved. Blood dripped onto the rocks in front of him and he didn't care, he couldn't care – he couldn't stop – not until he found her.

"Alenko!" He heard Captain Anderson calling for him but he ignored it, now was not the time for a debriefing, the could court-martial him later, it wouldn't matter if she was gone. Nothing would.

He swallowed against the truth of that statement as it washed through him – it didn't matter she was the first woman; he wanted her to be the last – the only – and tears stung his eyes as he began to move frantically, rocks tumbling down the mass of rubble to crash on the grass as the officers set to work digging out the survivors. He glimpsed the heavy hump of Wrex, carrying the small form of Foster in his arms and he heard the young corporal shout his brothers name – the sound echoing in the cavernous hall.

Pushing another boulder aside he almost banked forward, unprepared for the gaping hole beneath him where twisted metal and rubble had created a frame for debris to pile on top, a dark hollow – the bright glow of an omni-shield the only source of light as he peered inside.

Abigail was there, her back bent awkwardly over rock, one arm above her head, the other resting on her abdomen as though she had fallen asleep that way. Her hair was splayed beneath her, matted and dirty and bloody; the cut above her eye had bled down her pale face which was marred with dirt and grime and dust, a bruise already colouring her cheekbone.

Beside her, curled against her and over her with his shield protecting the parts he had not reached lay Hobbs. His armour was badly damaged, blood oozing in rivulets from a dozen wounds, his face was buried in the space between her shoulder and head. Kaidan craned his neck, but his features were obscured by her hair and he couldn't tell if the man was alive or not.

The debris was covered in blood, even for the wounds he could see on Hobbs' back there was too much and then he caught his breath as he saw the source. Through the top right of his chest, stopping inches from Abigail's face, was a twisted spire of wreckage that had impaled the man like a spike, blood trickled freely down the jagged metal, pooling around the pair as they lay motionless.

Kaidan caught his breath, he had to help them both.

"I need help!" He screamed back at the medical team who were attending the other wounded crew members. "Someone help!" He cried, desperation bordering on sheer panic lacing through his voice. He looked back to them, knowing that in his condition he couldn't move Hobbs, he was likely to be in critical condition, but Shepard looked almost unharmed by the blast – thanks to her Paladin.

"Abby!" He cried, reaching down inside the hollow – his ribs cracked and howled angrily but he pressed forward, just unable to reach "Abby please!" He begged.

He prayed, he pleaded, to God, to the angels, to the Goddess – hell to the devil – to open her eyes, to have her look at him again like she used to so he could tell her how much she meant to him; so he could hold her against him – even if it was only once more – just to feel the warmth of her smile and hear her whisper his name the way she did.

"Don't leave me behind." He wept, straining, reaching and his gloved fingers brushed the tips of hers above her head. He felt the shock of biotic reaction, the rush of cold leaving him as her hand jerked and for a fearful moment he thought it was just the static, but then her fingers curled and she launched forward lunging into a fit of coughing and hacking as she spat blood to the rubble around her.

"Abigail!" He cried and she looked up at him groggily – not fully aware as her head rolled back and he reached for her again.

This time he caught her hand in a firm grip and pulled back, hauling her up and out of the hollow, up and over him as he crashed backwards onto the rubble pressing her body to his protectively. They lay there for a moment, breathing against each other, chests heaving, fingers curled and gripping, holding as the events sank through them both.

Shepard chuckled, low and throaty and painful and Kaidan smiled, glancing down as she raised her face from his armour to look at him "We did it Kaidan." She whispered, her voice paper thin.

"_You_ did it." Kaidan said firmly and she moved over him, pressing her mouth over his eagerly.

"Commander." The stern voice washed over them both like ice as Shepard's eyes snapped open and she scrambled from Kaidan, getting to her feet awkwardly as Captain Anderson stood, his eyebrow raised sceptically. She threw out a crisp salute and Anderson turned his attention to the Lieutenant as he struggled to his feet.

Shepard didn't miss that look – she had seen it before; the look of a father weighing up the potential of a suitor as his gaze ran up and down Kaidan carefully. Sheepish and turning red, Kaidan snapped off his own salute and snapped from his reverie the Captain returned it fluidly.

"Is everyone accounted for?" Anderson asked, his dark gaze falling on Shepard once more.

Shepard winced, pressing a hand to the wound in her side "Where's…" She shook her head "Where's Hobbs? He was injured."

Kaidan hesitated beside her, his hand coming to hers and she turned sharply seeing for the first time the hollow she had been pulled from and the medical team inside working frantically over a still body. There was too much blood – too much – she knew that the moment her eyes glanced the red debris and she caught her breath in a ragged gasp as she dropped to her knees.

"Is he ok?" She screamed, the medical team flinching below "Hobbs!"

She got to her feet, prepared to launch into the hollow when the sight of Foster stopped her in her tracks. He looked at her puzzled, his eyes red rimmed from dust and smoke as he blinked at her.

"Foster…" She whispered and he frowned, immediately alarmed by her use of his actual name.

They were pushed aside, the medical team filing past with Hobbs' body on a stretcher and Foster's eyes fluttered as he collapsed to his knees faint. Shepard half caught him, dropping together as he wrapped quaking arms around her choking out a gut wrenching sob.

"Hobbs!"


	23. Chapter 23

Title: Ilos Chapter Six  
Author: DinkyMew and JagesPages  
Game: Mass Effect (one)  
Disclaimer: Bioware own all content and characters related to the Mass Effect franchise. Abigail Shepard is my own creation inspired by the character of Jane Shepard created by Bioware. Any original characters contained herein are my own creations (with the exception of Vindex Foster who is the sole property of Julie Jones and the Swagger Vasa Chronicles) and are not necessarily affiliated with Bioware. **You may not copy, edit or distribute this fanfiction as it stands without my expressed permission – thank you**

_**For a PDF version of this fan-fiction complete with illustrations please look for DinkyMew on DeviantART: **_

* * *

_Abigail shook her head, muttering to herself as she buried her hands back into the soapy water in the sink, scrubbing the pint glasses clean before setting them gently on the towel she had laid flat on the counter. _

_The party was winding down, most people had left but a few stragglers had crashed on the living room floor, some had taken the rooms upstairs but she couldn't sleep. Couldn't bring herself to stop thinking of that damned idiot Hobbs._

_She had done her own searching after the club and she had been told he was a womaniser, he was never seen alone – but she knew the two things were very different. Not being alone and being alone could exist in simultaneous circumstance. She knew that herself all too well. And there was something in his eyes that compelled her to speak with him – as much as she hated talking, as much as she hated having him get under her skin, she couldn't help it when he was around. _

_And damn did she hate it. _

_Slamming a glass on the counter she held her breath, closing her eyes and counting the seconds while her temper passed over. _

"_Abby?" The voice startled her and she flinched turning to see Craig enter almost sheepishly. He rubbed the back his neck, bright red hair falling in his green eyes as he came to a stop beside her. "Have you seen Libby?"_

_Abigail regarded him carefully "She's your girlfriend Craig." She moved her shoulder "I thought she would be with you."_

_He smiled, his face growing red as he dropped his gaze "Yeah… she's had a bit to drink." He said quietly "And she was talking about your friend all night."_

"_My friend?" Abigail shook her head._

"_You know, the brown-haired guy, tall. Big. Tattoo on his shoulder."_

"_Oh." Abigail grimaced "He's not my friend. You mean Hobbs."_

"_Yeah." Craig nodded "Well, he went upstairs to catch some sleep… and not long after him, Libby went up."_

_Abigail paused, looking at him carefully "Libby went upstairs?" She asked carefully "What are you saying Craig?"_

_He moved his shoulders. She had known Craig for the duration of his relationship with Libby and he was a gentle soul – far too shy and introverted for the likes of Libby._

"_Maybe nothing." He said quickly "I mean, I don't know… I haven't had the courage to go and look." He admitted with a smile._

"_You want me to go and look?" Abigail asked tiredly and he blinked at her, green eyes flashing between worry and relief._

"_Maybe." He faltered "I just think it would be less… you know… if I go and something's … I don't want to get into a fight with him is all." He swallowed "One of the marines got into a fight with him once and he almost killed the guy. People say he fights for money in the pits."_

_Abigail frowned "The pits?"_

"_Yeah, these underground clubs where you get pitted against aliens most of the time." He looked at her seriously "A guy who can survive being hit by a batarian shouldn't be messed with."_

"_I don't think he would do that." Abby smiled reassuringly "I'll go look. Wait here."_

_She squeezed past him careful not to brush him in anyway as she slipped from the kitchen back into the lounge. Picking her way over the sleeping bodies carefully she padded down the hallway, her ears tuned for any sounds upstairs. It seemed quiet and so she started the staircase shaking her head the whole time. _

_She had known the rumours were true, but she had expected better from Libby. She had expected better from both of them and that made her angry again._

_Reaching the landing she padded to the first bedroom peering inside. A bedside lamp had been left on and two bodies were curled naked on the bed but she didn't recognise them and silently closed the door padding to the next room. _

_The hallway light cast a slice of light in the room and she peeked inside. Hobbs was lying in the bed, his arm tucked around a pillow, his face buried half into the soft mound as he slept fitfully. There was no sign of Libby and breathing a sigh of relief she retreated as he stirred._

"_What are you doing sneaking around?" His voice was rough from sleep, and he blinked, squinting at her as he rubbed the heel of his hand into his eye. _

_Caught she froze, turning back to him as he turned the bedside lamp on low, the room igniting only dimly. She moved her shoulders._

"_I was looking for Libby." She said honestly and he nodded, yawning as he sat back in the bed. She tried to keep her eyes to his face and not the expanse of tanned skin rippled with muscle and body art. "She's not here." She made to leave again and he chuckled._

"_She was." He scratched his head as she turned back to him, lazily he dragged one knee up toward him "She came in here looking to jump my bones." He said sagely "I sent her down the hall. Made sure she got into her bed. No touching. Honest."_

_Shepard looked at him sceptically and he smiled "Honest." _

"_Right. Well." She nodded making to turn and he leaned forward, the movement of toned stomach catching her eye and making her flush as she stumbled over words "I should…"_

"_You can't sleep?" He asked, and she looked at his eyes, instantly wishing she hadn't as green-blue anchors snapped hold of her, gripping her tightly as she shook her head numbly._

"_I… don't…" She mumbled._

"_I can't hear you." Hobbs smiled "What did you say."_

_She hesitated glancing behind her at the empty, dark stairwell longingly and then hesitantly turned back to him "I don't sleep well." She said quietly. _

_He shook his head again, patting the bed "Come here. I can't hear you." When she paused, visibly nervous he raised his eyebrows and cocked a lopsided smile at her "I don't bite."_

_Slowly she moved into the room, sitting softly on the edge of the bed. She looked at her feet, still tucked inside her old sneakers and sighed "I don't sleep well." She said quietly, terrified he was going to reach for her to comfort her or coax inquisition from her, but to her relief he didn't move – as though he sensed her discomfort he kept himself carefully still as he watched her unwavering. _

"_How come?" She looked at him, avoiding his eyes as she looked at the edges of his face, the angular shape of his jaw, the scruffy, short cut of his brown hair, his ears. At last she looked to his mouth, the lips full and curved and attractive. She blinked realising she had been quiet a long time and looked to him guiltily but he wasn't pressing, she could see that in his open expression, he was simply waiting, his arms folded over his chest and she could see the dark lines of his tribal tattoo in the corner of her vision. _

"_I guess…" She breathed, and she thought about lying, about making something up, but for some reason when she looked at his face she felt unprepared for the rush she felt. A feeling she had been absent a long time, something akin to trust. "I guess it's probably stuff that happened in the past." She said weakly and he nodded, his brow furrowing as he considered his next words carefully. _

"_Bad things?" He asked gently and she looked away "It's ok." He said quietly "Everyone has baggage right?"_

_She nodded, hunching her shoulders as she swung her legs absently, her sneakers skiffing the carpet. She waited for another question but it never came and again she was surprised by his patience and when she looked at him expecting to see him look tired or bored he looked anything but. His eyes were bright, moving as he tracked her expression, her body language and he gave her a small smile and it wasn't as threatening as she had expected. It was actually quite warming. _

"_I was on Mindoir." She whispered. _

_She might as well have dropped a frag grenade. The silence that followed was just as devastating._

_She heard him breathing, slow and heavy and steady, could hear her own heart race as she looked back at her feet, memories barrelling against her barriers she had built over time as she fought to keep the despair out. She felt him move, tensing and dreading the feel of his hand on her – and wishing for it too, but it didn't come. She heard him take a breath, it was shaky – the first time she had heard his confidence waver._

"_I'm sorry." He said thickly "I know what it's like to lose people Shepard." He cleared his throat "Do you want to talk about it?"_

_She let out a breathless laugh, no one had ever asked her that and the question made her pause – did she want to talk about it? Really? Would it make a difference now? She swallowed, looking back at him as her eyes misted with tears._

"_I don't know." She said honestly "I've never thought about it before."_

_His movement was slow, deliberate so she could see it coming and see it she did, tensing as his hand brushed her shoulder gently. The contact felt like a physical blow, sucking the energy from her as his fingers skimmed her throat, climbing to her chin where they curled drawing her toward him with skilful grace._

_Her eyes closed, hot tears blazing trails down cool cheeks as his lips coaxed hers open gently. It was infinitely soft, tender – almost like passing a feather over her mouth and she gasped – her skin flushing hotly as her biotics sparked to life, the wash of electric discharge making her shiver as it passed over her and into him. _

"_WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!" He yelled, jumping back in the bed, scrambling over the mattress to topple to the floor on the other side. Abigail snapped her eyes open, the blue light of her biotics whispering away as she swallowed hard, looking after him. _

_He got to his feet, his hands splayed in a defensive manner as he frowned at her from the other side of the bed "Did you just…. glow blue?" He asked unsure "And shock me? Did I fall asleep?" He shook his head "No. No I definitely didn't. Did you just glow blue?!"_

_Shepard got to her feet, turning to face him over the bed as she shook her head "I did – I mean I'm sorry – I should have told you before now."_

"_Told me what?!" Hobbs cried "You're a freaking cyborg?!"_

_Stung Shepard recoiled, shaking her head as she made to leave the room but he got in her way, catching her hand and trying to turn her to face him._

"_I didn't mean that!" He insisted "I just.. I'm in shock – I mean what-"_

"_Let me go." She said, struggling against the grip he had on her wrist._

"_Just wait a minut-"_

"_Let me go!" She screamed and before she could contain it her biotics slipped from her grasp again, the blast barrelling into him as he was knocked back, tumbling back over the bed again and crashing to the floor on the other side. When she didn't hear him move she approached cautiously; she didn't want to kill him, and for a moment her heart thundered in her ears as she peered over the edge of the bed. _

_He groaned, rolling to his back as he shook his head "What…" He pushed himself to sitting "Has anyone told you that you really need to find temperance?"_

_Abigail shook her head "I told you to let me go."_

"_Alright Tempy." He said holding his hands up "Don't shock me again." He frowned "How are you doing that?"_

_Shepard caught her breath "I'm a biotic." She said quietly and he blinked at her, for the first time she thought she could see fear in his eyes. "I should go."_

"_A biotic?" He breathed, getting to his feet unsteadily. He hesitated, sitting back on the bed as he cleared his throat and said smoothly "I've never talked to a biotic before." He said quietly "Is it true you can read my mind?"_

_She smiled "Maybe." _

_That made him more uncomfortable than it was meant to and he laughed nervously suddenly clearing his mind of everything as he looked at her seriously "Can you?"_

_She rolled her eyes "No." She said, her hands dropping to her sides as she sank to sit next to him on the bed. A little closer than she would have allowed previously and he took that as a win. Regarding her carefully in case she turned blue again, she looked at him frowning._

"_You've seriously never met a single biotic in all your time on Arcturus?"_

_He shook his head "I haven't. I mean I knew they had them in Blue Horizon but I thought..." He swallowed the words heavily but he had started the sentence now and knew he would have to follow through "I didn't think they looked human." He said weakly. _

_Abigail laughed, low and humourless "I have heard the rumours Hobbs." She said thickly "Trust me."_

_He paused, a period of silence passing before he said quietly "Sorry."_

_She wasn't looking at him, she was looking at the walls and he could tell by the set of her expression she wasn't going to talk. He took a breath making to speak as she suddenly wrenched to her feet. _

"_Where are you going?" He asked and she moved to the door angrily, throwing a glance over her shoulder at him before she yanked it open and then she was gone. _

* * *

Raising her head from her hands brokenly Shepard looked to Foster who watched the door to the surgery unwavering. His eyes were red rimmed, full of worry and emotions she didn't dare unleash.

She wrapped her arms around herself, burying her face into the crook of her arm as heavy sobs threatened to overwhelm her.

"Shepard?" When she glanced up Kaidan stood awkwardly a cup of coffee in each hand. She leaned back, accepting one gratefully and he paused, offering the other to Foster who took it numbly.

"Thanks." She said brittle, feeling fragile as hell as she took a tender sip.

"When did you last sleep?" Kaidan asked quietly "Maybe you should come away, the doctors will let you know…" He didn't complete the sentence. He couldn't, and she knew why. She was a sentinel too – more than that she was damned good at human anatomy and she knew Hobbs' chances dangled by a thread. She swallowed and shook her head resolutely.

"I'm sorry Kaidan." She said firmly "I can't." She made a mew of an apology "I need to be here."

He looked stung but covered it carefully with an unsure smile, nodding as he glanced to Foster "I'll take care of the reports." He said gently "You two have other things on your minds." He added after a beat and then he folded his arms over his chest "He was a good soldier."

Shepard closed her eyes "Stop talking like he's dead." She said heatedly and when she met the lieutenant's gaze she could see the pain in his face – the harsh truth of what was to come and she bucked against it, anger rising inside her "Hobbs is a fighter." She ground out "Always has been. Always will be."

She sank her head onto her chin, deliberately moving her eyes to the door as Kaidan hesitated. She didn't mean to bark at him, she was fried, and emotional and too damn quick to anger – but she couldn't care about that right now, nor could she think about how to fix Kaidan's wounded feelings. All she could think about was the man in the next room clinging to life.

* * *

_The Mantis sniper rifle had a personality all its own. People thought he was crazy, Foster thought as he lay quietly in the bough of a tree, but it was true. The rifle had a certain feel, a tingling sensation that coursed through him when he flexed his finger around the trigger, when he pressed his eye to the scope, when he fine-tuned it so that he could see the nose hairs when the target was human._

_Liselle had only told him her mother wanted this man eliminated. He knew Liselle; he trusted her. If this man had been targeted by her mother then he must have done something bad, something terrible enough for a sniper expert like him to be called in. Foster never thought of himself as an assassin; he made problems go away—problem people. Liselle had begged him to eliminate this man, that he was a danger to her mother. He'd never met her mother, but he trusted Liselle._

_You're splitting hairs,__ he thought and wiped a bead of sweat that slid from his forehead into his eye. __You kill people for credits. __**Bad people, he reasoned. **__You kill people for money and that makes you as bad as them. __**But Liselle said…**__You know how she is when it comes to her mother! Something's not right. Even the Mantis is trying to tell you._

_Swearing silently, he gazed through the sight, blinking until his eyes adjusted. He turned the calibration knob, bringing the target into close proximity. Whoever he was he was tall! Must be six four,five, maybe? And, even with the black body suit fabric armor so new to the trade, Foster could see muscles writhe and flex, see the smooth coordination as the man moved, the assurance of his steps. Liselle had said the man was an assassin._

"_Turn around and face this way," he urged softly. He preferred not to shoot someone in the back of the head. It seemed cowardly and gave him an unfair advantage._

_As if his words were a prayer that floated from his lips towards heaven and then stopped their ascent to fall heavily upon the man below his perch in the tree, he saw the man react. Foster barely avoided a knife the man had tossed with unerring accuracy. Well, he avoided it hitting his carotid, but it sank into his shoulder to the hilt. He bit his lower lip, squelching a cry of pain, but his moment had been lost. The hunted had now become the hunter._

_He used his scope, trying to locate the target. He pretty much ignored the knife, knowing better than to pull it out. No sign of his prey, even when he did a 360 about the base of the tree._

_A bullet gouged into the trunk—the ancient tree spat out wood chips that ravaged Foster's cheek. This was getting serious, he thought. __I made a rookie mistake and I may pay for it with my life._

_He listened. His hearing was sharp and he heard the sound a body makes when a man is snaking through the grass. He scoped out movement and then it stopped as if the man below knew the moment he was spotted. H__ow is that possible?_

_He needed to move. His prey knew his position. Staying put meant certain death, so Foster carefully stayed behind the larger branches and climbed up, flinching at every creak of the tree. Another bullet zinged upwards and burrowed into the branch he was currently standing on. The branch burst into splinters as the shredder round exploded._

_Foster was barely able to save himself. He jumped for another branch just as the branch gave way and crashed to the ground. He hung there and a bullet landed beside each hands. The bastard was playing with him!_

"_Tell Aria not to send rookies after me."_

_Foster froze at the timbre of the voice, the Scottish accent, the inflection._

_It can't be!_

_He pulled himself up far enough so he could bend his body over the large branch and gain purchase. He propped his back against the trunk. His heart was a trip-hammer inside his chest._

"_I'm only leaving you alive so you can tell her it only pisses me off."_

_That voice! Foster had to risk leaving his cover long enough to employ his sniper scope. He located the man with great difficulty, but he saw a head, a face and hard turquoise eyes and he saw the barrel of the M-98 Widow and knew it was aimed at him. The assassin drew back and shaded his eyes a moment and Foster had him! His finger tightened on the trigger, but the Mantis misfired. It never misfired! _

_No, it hadn't. His finger had come off the trigger as if something stung him and a little voice in his head told him to look through his scope again. He did and the face crystallized into view. Nose like their father's and his eyes were a mix of blue and green—Mom's full lips._

_Foster moaned as tears burst from his ducts, blinding him. Socks! It was his brother down there!_

_He started to call out to him, but he noticed the spot where he'd lain flat in the grass was empty. He climbed down from the tree as fast as he could. He heard a shuttle descend from the heavy cloud cover._

"_No!" He cried out wildly and he threw his beloved rifle into the grass and double-timed it to the hilltop where he saw his brother hop into the shuttle. "Socks! Don't go!" He collapsed into the grass as the shuttle picked up speed. He grabbed handfuls of grass and ripped them from the ground. "Dammit, I almost killed my brother!" He put his grass-stained hands to his head and howled in misery._

_Blood seeped past the hilt of the knife and the pain brought him out of his misery. Socks was gone. It had been ten years and somehow Foster knew he'd never be able to find him. It was his last chance to find his brother. _

_He tramped back to his rifle, picked it up and touched it, wonder in his eyes. "You knew it was him, didn't you?" He kissed the stock. "Thanks."_

_He called for pick-up. Aria wouldn't be pleased he'd failed. Liselle might want to believe her mother was a good person, but Foster knew better. And he swore on his brother's turquoise eyes that he would never take a job to kill someone for money._

"_Aw, dammit, Socks," he groaned. "We came so damn close!"_

* * *

Foster jerked out of his reverie and reached down to the sheath in his boot and pulled the knife Socks had thrown at him that fateful day.

He looked at his face in its mirrored surface. Had Aria known? Had she known the assassin she sent him to kill was his brother? That had marked the end of his employment with her. He knew vaguely who Aria T'loak was and her absolute reign on Omega. Liselle idolized her mother; he loved LIselle, but that day had forever changed his destiny. Something had made him hesitate; something had made Socks let him go.

_I swear, if I ever find out you knew he was my brother, I'll go to Omega and end you_. He smiled grimly as he used his brother's phrase.

"Just wake up, bro. It can't end like this! We found each other. This is so unfair!"

He flinched as Kaidan offered him a mug of coffee, hesitating and then taking it absently, his gaze turning back to the door as he took a instinctual sip of the beverage. It was hot and laced with caffeine but it did nothing to lift his mood. Did nothing to change his train of thoughts as he closed his eyes, he could hear Shepard speaking – her words not making sense in his ears as he focused on breathing.

When he opened his eyes again Kaidan had left and she was sitting, her knees drawn up onto the chair and into her chest as her thumb and forefinger picked at her lip nervously.

* * *

_He bounced on the balls of his feet, a fighters dance, the rhythm of a weapon as he launched blows to the punch bag with deadly force. His bound hands took the hits gratefully, the pain that shot up his arms like adrenaline stims as he rolled the muscles in his neck and shoulders, the first flush of sweat making him break into gooseflesh against the cold of the empty gym._

_He ducked, imaginary blows hitting nerves as he saw the matron of the orphanage, saw the heavy steel of his boot as it had rammed into Hobbs' ribs again and again. Felt the bones snap – felt the raw pain in his chest as though it were yesterday, and he fought back – barraging the bag with a string of blows, muscles coiling and releasing heat and energy as they snapped and popped with each brutal hit. _

_He remembered his kid brother – half starved, his head shaved for the lice that crawled in his hair; remembered the nights they curled inside the orphanage against the winter cold, scavenging blankets and food to survive – the stories he would tell him, about their father, about their grandfather and the way his eyes would look to him, hopeful and dependent and believing._

_He grunted, his anger rising as he pressed his attack, his fists like hammers as he brought them down for justice on all the years of pain and anguish. _

"_Hobbs?" _

_The voice barely penetrated his thoughts, like a wall it echoed off the foundation, rattling a moment before he frowned, concentration broken and stopped the swinging bag smoothly with his fingertips. _

_He turned and she was standing there dressed in a green hooded jacket and blue jeans, her arms were folded and she was looking at him with that bemused expression she got – that one he could never figure out quite what it was._

"_Tempy." He smiled, inclining his head "What brings you to a gym?"_

_She frowned at the use of the nickname, but he didn't care and she didn't persist as she fidgeted with the cuffs of her jacket, moving from one foot to another. _

"_I owe you an apology." She said at last and he nodded, turning back to the bag but his hits were less focused, lazier._

"_For?" He pressed and she rolled her eyes at him._

"_For running out on you last night." She relented. "I shouldn't have done that."_

_He nodded "You shouldn't have." He agreed "It was rude. Not to mention you left me at the mercy of Libby and Craig for the night wandering the streets of Arcturus looking for you."_

_She grimaced "Oh." Her voice dropped "I didn't… I didn't know about that part." She shook her head "I said I was sorry." That tone was back, that crisp, biting tone and he smiled, loving the reaction it stirred in him. It got his blood hot and he stopped the bag again turning to her. _

"_Apology accepted." He said sincerely feigning a bow and she frowned, turning from him._

"_So… I came by to tell you that I've enlisted." She said it casually but he could feel the weight behind the words as he watched her. _

"_You did?" He asked, genuinely surprised she had listened to him at all "When do you start training?"_

_She moved her shoulders "I'm not sure. They're not sure where biotics are fitting in to the military right now." Her tone was cagey and he knew she had more to say but was holding back. He still couldn't tell what it was but it intrigued him and so he moved toward her, unwinding the bandages from around his hands as he watched her._

"_So you came here to tell me that you're going to be joining the Alliance?" He asked and she nodded, her eyes firmly on her sneakers. "That all?" _

_She moved uncomfortable "I guess I wanted to apologise about last night." She said at last "For kissing you."_

"_For shocking me." He corrected with a wry smile._

"_That too." She mumbled. _

"_Does that happen every time you kiss someone?" He asked earnestly. _

"_I don't know." She said with a frown "That was my first time."_

_He dropped the bandages on the table that was littered with boxing gear, his skipping ropes and bottles of energy drinks "Well that won't do." He said simply and she looked at him sharply._

"_What do you mean?" she asked, her voice rising as panic fluttered into her chest "I said I was sorry."_

_She watched him as he shook his head, teeth drawing over his bottom lip as he moved in close to her. She could smell the exertion on him, he smelled like heat and man and sweat and something like lust – if that is what it felt like – and she felt her skin begin to prickle with energy as she begged him silently to get away from her and prayed that he wouldn't all at once. _

"_We can't have your first kiss being ruined by an idiot." He said quietly, standing so close she could feel the heat vibrating from his skin, the energy he had built up coming off him in waves that made her head spin. _

"_I…" She lost her train of thought as she looked up into his ocean eyes "I'm not looking for just another first kiss." She whispered and he smiled. _

"_What are you looking for then?" He asked._

"_A last first kiss." She breathed and his smile widened. His hands moved to her hips, his fingers curling so h is nails could anchor her as he leaned into her. She expected him to crash against her, to ignite in a fiery passion like what she felt bubbling inside her, but he didn't – he hesitated at her mouth and try as she might she couldn't hold onto the energy as it thrummed inside her – reacting to his presence, to his touch, and she could see the cool azure reflection of her biotics as it danced over his skin. He smiled, his lips brushing hers – sending a jolt through her – and then mercifully he pressed his mouth against her own. _

_It was as though she had been cast adrift until that moment – the feel of his mouth on hers, his tongue gently probing her mouth – suddenly woke her up, as though she had been devoid of oxygen until he breathed it back into her. His hands at her waist moved to her lower back, running over each other as he pressed her to him gently. _

* * *

Shepard closed her eyes as tears spilled over tired lids anyway; wiping them away she clasped her hands together, pressing her forehead to them desperately as she drew her knees to her chest. This couldn't happen like this – in all the years they had been apart she had wondered, worried, but never actually believed Hobbs would come to harm. He was the most dangerous man she knew, the bravest and probably the stupidest and that seemed to be a winning combination.

Now she was faced with losing him, she was faced with living without him because he had protected her to the end. Like he had promised all those years ago – and hadn't she made him pay for that promise? Hadn't she just?

She sank her teeth into her knee, the momentary distraction as pain lanced up her leg more welcome than an oasis in the desert. She felt weary, emotionally drained and a sudden presence beside her made her start. She looked up to see Foster watching her, his blue eyes mirrored her own – lost and brimming with tears.

He fidgeted, fingers pressing to the arm rest of her chair as his gaze ticked to the floor, back to her, she saw the muscle in his jaw flex, the tears spilling over his lashes unprovoked as his legs went from under him. He crashed against her, and she held him – they held each other – fear overwhelming all sense as they clung to each other like long lost family – fear of being lost forever should they break the hold.

"I'm so sorry bambi." She whispered brokenly and when Foster tried to speak no sound came out, just a crackled whimper as he shook his head against her and tightened his grip around her.

It was the sound of the hydraulics pulling the door open that made them both freeze, both momentarily unable to let go for fear of the look they knew would be waiting on the doctor's face. Foster pulled back from her, standing as he wiped his face with an open palm.

The doctor regarded them both carefully. He was older, his dark skin contrasted against a tidy cut of greying hair. He looked at them both in turn, gesturing to a seat for Foster to sit down. He did, almost falling down as though commanded. As though the doctor held his strings rigidly.

"I understand you have been here for some time." The doctor said gently and Shepard shook her head, the tone of his voice worse than any wound she had felt – it felt like he was dragging a blade over her throat inexorably. "I'll try and be as concise as I can." He nodded soberly.

"Argyle has suffered some severe trauma to his head. Now, we've managed to reduce the swelling, but he hasn't regained consciousness yet. He lost a lot of blood – and that has starved his brain of oxygen as well." The doctor swallowed "At this juncture we have done all we can for him."

"Is he going to die?" Shepard asked, the question rushing from her mouth before she had even processed all the doctor had said.

"We cannot say." The doctor said "All we can do is wait and see if he wakes up. If he does we will have to reassess him then for further damage."

"Wait?" Foster asked, at last finding his voice and Shepard almost wished he hadn't for it was so raw and broken it cut deeply to hear it "For how long?"

The doctor shook his head "We don't know. We'll monitor him over the next few months, if there is any change or signs of… well, we can only wait and see." He folded his hands "You are welcome to go through." He said "But I wouldn't stay too long. You need sleep yourselves."

Shepard rejected the offer of kindness getting to her feet shakily as her blood sugar plummeted and she felt faint. Foster stood next to her, just slightly taller and she leaned on him, grateful to have his steadying presence there.

The doctor nodded, pushing past them as he made his way down the sterile corridors. Foster looked to Shepard and she stared back as they entered the room together.

It was silent, save for the whir of a life support machine and the monotonous bleep of the heart monitor. Shepard froze, feeling Foster's hand spread on her back as he came to a halt next to her.

She barely recognised him.

Under a nest of wires and tubes Hobbs breathed raggedly – the machine pushing oxygen in and out of his lungs for him. His skin was the colour of clay, marred with wounds, some still healing as the cybernetic arm passed over him weaving and knitting the broken flesh back together. Pressing a hand over her mouth to stifle the sob building in her throat Shepard moved to the bedside, sinking to sit on the stool beside him as she gripped a cold, limp hand between both of hers.

Foster came around the other side, sitting silently, taking the other hand mirroring her gesture.

"I can't believe it's him." He said hollowly and Shepard shook her head, tears spilling down her cheeks.

"I spent… years… dreading this." She whispered, her voice hoarse "In the pits, he used to get so beaten, and I would be there to nurse him back – he swore to me he would never leave. He promised." She ground out, gritting her teeth as she leaned forward, close to his bruised temple as she sucked in a breath "You promised me." She said firmly "Don't you dare flake on your word Hobbs. You told me yourself you never break a promise. Now I need you to wake up. Your little brother needs you to wake up. Don't you dare let go." She gripped his limp hand, willing her strength into him as she shook her head "Don't you dare let go."

Overcome her voice cracked and she buried her head in his shoulder, crushing her eyes closed as she let memories take over, feelings and emotions that had long been buried under a guise of hate. Hate that seemed so ignorant now, so meaningless.

"Please." She begged, feeling the first dizzying whispers of sleep in her head as she closed heavy eyes next to him "Please wake up."


	24. Chapter 24

Title: Ilos Chapter Seven  
Author: DinkyMew and JagesPages  
Game: Mass Effect (one)  
Disclaimer: Bioware own all content and characters related to the Mass Effect franchise. Abigail Shepard is my own creation inspired by the character of Jane Shepard created by Bioware. Any original characters contained herein are my own creations (with the exception of Vindex Foster who is the sole property of Julie Jones and the Swagger Vasa Chronicles) and are not necessarily affiliated with Bioware. **You may not copy, edit or distribute this fanfiction as it stands without my expressed permission – thank you**

* * *

_They clattered into the apartment, the noise enough to wake the neighbours but he didn't care as he cradled Shepard's head, her mouth was on his and that was all he could think about. Somehow he managed to reach a hand behind him and closed the front door with a slam and then as though they had a mind of their own they moved to her, seeking her out like light in the darkness and he pressed them under her sweater against cool flesh making her gasp as she leaned back from the kiss._

"_You're going to shock me again." He said "aren't you?"_

_She blushed, her brow crinkling at the top of her nose "I don't mean to." She whispered and he smiled, bringing his mouth to hers again and as he predicted a wave of static shot over his skin, making him flinch and groan as she laughed a little against his lips. _

"_Is that going to happen all night?" He whispered, walking her backwards into his kitchen._

_She shook her head, stumbling a little, her hands gripping his strong forearms as he pushed her over the kitchen table "I have no idea." She said honestly, gripping the back of his neck as he kissed his way down her throat "I've never done this before."_

_Hobbs paused, taken aback as he broke the contact to look at her carefully. She was blushing again, her hair splayed over the kitchen table and she was watching him nervously "You've never done this before?" He asked her carefully and she shook her head. He hesitated, a question passing between them unasked and she smiled, gripping his sweater greedily as she pulled him back on top of her. _

"_I've never done this with a biotic." He breathed "Please don't… fry me… or anything like that."_

_At that she giggled, and he felt himself go weak at the knees, wrapping fingers around the waistband of her jeans he tugged them down and she squealed, excitement and anticipation and lust and love brimming to her surface as they laughed, dropping her jeans to the floor. She reached for him, her hands scrambling up his body as she lifted the sweater from him, mouth pressing to the scar on his shoulder eagerly and he pulled her back, sweeping her hair from her face, taking in the vision of her, running his finger over her lips gently._

"_I love you Tempy." He said and her smile widened "You brought me back from the black." _

"_I love you." She said thickly, locking her thighs at his hips "Forever. And ever. And ever." She cocked her head to the side, her hair washing over her shoulder in a dark wave as she kissed him gently – that same brush of static made his skin break into gooseflesh and he shuddered, pressing her back, flat on the table as he ran a hand down her body. The response was visual, not only her arching back, her mouth opening as she closed her eyes and sighed, but by the sudden blue tendrils that broke out from her skin, like steam – twisting and coiling over her and licking at his flesh as he pressed a hand to her abdomen. _

_He was mesmerised – and a little terrified – he had no experience of biotics whatsoever and had no idea if she was about to blow his mind – or __**blow**__ his mind, literally. Feeling his gaze on her the blue steam whispered away and he found himself wanting it back, meeting her gaze as she blinked at him – pulling her sweater down over his hand._

"_What are you looking at me like that for?" She asked, her expression unsure as she made to sit up. _

"_I'm not!" He smiled "I'm sorry." He shook his head, pressing his mouth over hers again gently "You're so beautiful – I was just.." He shook his head "I don't know… I 've never seen a biotic before…" _

"_You make me sound like an alien." She said against his mouth and he smiled, going with her this time as they fell back onto the table._

"_An angel." He whispered, tickling her ear with his breath "Don't ever think you're not perfect Tempy."_

_Her hands came to his face, that blue light coming back in a flash as she kissed him fiercely "Don't let me go." She begged and he crushed his eyes closed, feeling the spark of her biotics as they kissed his skin and at long last – after months of battling, fighting, pleading, praying – he felt those barriers she kept up so rigidly finally crumble as she pressed to him. _

"_Oh Tempy." He groaned "Don't worry about that. I'm not going anywhere."_

_I promise._

"_Funny you're the broken one but I'm the only one who needed saving  
Cause when you never see the light it's hard to know which one of us is caving"_

_He heard her voice – like sudden static it rushed into his head, his eyes fluttering open as he heard her singing down the hall as she made breakfast. _

"_Not really sure how to feel about it.  
Something in the way you move  
Makes me feel like I can't live without you.  
It takes me all the way.  
I want you to stay"_

_And just like that he was swallowed by blackness again, deep and unforgiving as it encased him in its void. _

_Hobbs breathed, the sound heavy inside the blackness of his head as he frowned, unable to open his eyes. He relaxed, letting himself slip a little – letting his consciousness come back to him in its own time and at its own pace, he was in no hurry._

_Sensations began to tingle at his hands, the feel of a bed – soft, the sheets crisp, clean. There was a noise, a monotonous beep in the corner, like an alarm, but the noise shone blue in his head – blue like Shepard and he smiled, remembering the way she had looked before him on that table – remembering their first night where she had clung to him like it was their last and promised him the world. _

_The thought receded, replaced by sensation on skin – damp, cold, and he flinched. At last finding the strength to raise his lids to half open. He rumbled, his leg jerking as he blinked against the white light, the silhouette of a woman leaning over him. _

"_Tempy?" He asked unsure._

* * *

Genevieve flicked dark hair over shoulder as she twisted the cloth between her fingers again, draining the water before turning back to the still form in the bed. It wasn't often her work had perks, the Alliance hospital on the citadel was a good enough job, but it didn't fit her energy levels – it didn't fit her desire to travel; or fight for that matter. She spent most of her time helping the sick recover while at home she modded weapons and practised martial arts.

Something in that must have shown through in her interview because the hospital sure hesitated in hiring her didn't they? Maybe it was the tattoo on her face, the blue ink a proud heritage to the turian her grandfather married – the couple who raised her into adulthood on Palaven while her actual father gambled and pissed his money away in a back alley on earth.

She wasn't bitter though, Myria had given her all the love she could have hoped from a human woman, and she had never wanted for anything – nothing they could give her anyway, but she had always felt like she was supposed to be somewhere else.

With a cheeky smile she drew the blanket further down the patient's chest, feeling her face flush as she ran her eyes over his sculpted form. It felt incredibly naughty – and she couldn't understand why, perhaps because it wasn't often they got patients in so … well formed.

She smiled, dabbing the cloth gently over his healing shoulder. Apparently he had saved the Citadel with Commander Shepard – and true enough she practically lived in this room with him, having only stepped out to speak with an officer who was asking for her and this was the first time Genevieve had been close enough to look at him properly. She had harboured this crush for the time she had cared for him and finally she could actually look at him closely.

He had been here a month now, and was still the talk of the ward. Not only was he gorgeous but he went from being on life support to responsive in a relatively short time – almost a medical miracle, although she didn't believe in those, not really – more likely it was due to his incredible fitness level.

He stirred, his lips moving as he mumbled something and she paused, wondering if she should call for a nurse or not. His eyes flickered open and she dropped the cloth, bending quickly to the floor to retrieve it.

"Nice view," he said, drowsy from the pain medication. His eyes roved over the shapely bottom and his hand reached out.

Genevieve's eyes widened as a firm hand gently cupped one bum cheek and gave it a squeeze. Gods, she thought, wondering what to do. She knew he was in love with Shepard. You had to be blind not to see that. He muttered a pet name all the time and she had seen Shepard hold his hand a lot during the month's recovery. It's the drugs, she told herself firmly as she straightened to her five eight height.

His eyes were open, but she knew he wasn't seeing her. He was seeing the Commander —he was reaching for her, touching her. A warm hand still with an IV in it came up and long fingers closed over her arm.

"Tempy, don't go." He closed his eyes and moaned.

Part of her job was to monitor his pain regiment. "On a scale of one to ten, how much pain are you in?" A boyfriend had once said her voice was like velvet dipped in honey. What did that even mean?

She took his pulse, and he moved so that his fingers inserted between hers and curled up, trapping hers securely against his skin. She swallowed.

"On a scale of one to ten, how much pain are…"

He brought her hand up to his full mouth and kissed it. She forgot how to talk or _move_, for that matter. "Better when you're here." His warm lips moved against her skin.

Genevieve fought hard against the attraction she felt for this man—some of it was because he was taken, because he showed a loyalty few men possessed. He snaked his other arm around her waist and tugged. It caught her off guard and he was able to pull her to him, on top of him. "You can kiss it away—like you used to." A dreamy smile flickered on his handsome features.

Genevieve was not a promiscuous type, but this man did things to her she couldn't explain. "Where does it hurt?"

He flicked his head to the side where his shoulder was heavily bandaged. "There."

She moved and kissed it. His smile turned seductive. "Here." He raised his elbow and she kissed it.

"Where else?" She could barely speak. This was wrong on so many levels.

"Here?"

There was a cut on his full bottom lip. Did he want her to kiss him? She struggled internally and then mentally shrugged. What the hell? It might make him feel better.

She sat up, freezing for a moment as he shifted to accommodate her weight. Her gleaming black hair with the white streak she'd been born with fell like a silky curtain on his chest as she lowered her head. She paused, a breath away from his mouth. She could still stop.

And then Hobbs took control away from her. He groaned at the delay, wanting Tempy's lips on his, wanting to taste her again. His hands shot up and his fingers wound into the silky mass of her hair and he pulled her down on top of him—all the way on top of him. ''Kiss me," he whispered, voice so low and deep, it made her belly quiver.

One kiss, she promised herself. It wouldn't hurt him and it wouldn't hurt her and it would be something magical she could carry with her for the rest of her life. She closed her eyes and pressed her lips to his…and it was magical for the few seconds it lasted. She was compelled to open her eyes and his turquoise eyes swam into sharp relief as he broke the kiss abruptly.

"Sorry… luv, but I'm taken." His keen eyes ran over her lovely, crimson face. "IF I wasn't…"

She shakily regained her feet, aided by her patient. She stared at the floor, her gaze wavering to the door where it stopped on a pair of black combat boots. Oh, gods, don't let it be his Tempy! It wasn't. It was his cute brother who must have seen what just happened because his eyes were narrowed in merriment and he was holding his stomach he was laughing so hard.

"Please, miss?" Hobbs sat up in bed. He frowned, found a water bottle and heaved it at his brother's head. Foster ducked, wheezing with laughter.

"It's ok. I know. You thought I was her. I…" Mortified, Genevieve couldn't find any words. She quickly stepped out of the room.

Foster stopped laughing, wiping his eyes, his face elated. "You're back! I'm glad I was the one to walk in on that and not Shepard."

"Tempy chose Kaidan, so she can't get mad at me if I kiss another girl.' He smiled and licked his lips. "A very cute girl by the way."

"Don't kid your kid brother. I know how you feel about her. How was the kiss?"

Hobbs looked for something else to throw, but there was nothing on the table next to the bed. "Very nice." Remorse flooded into his eyes. "I thought she was Abigail."

"If that's what finally woke you out of the stupor you've been in, then I'll have to find her and kiss her myself!" Foster bent, brushed the hair from his brother's forehead and smooched him on the bruise that was rapidly turning yellow. It was a loud, juicy kiss. "All better?" he crooned then danced away, holding his arm where Hobbs' fist struck the bicep. "Ow!"

Hobbs smiled in spite of everything. "Where is she?"

"The girl? You want another go at her?"

He smiled, taking the jest in good humour but held sincerity in his voice as he grinned "There's only one woman for me, Beer. I've heard her talking to me while I was in and out of consciousness. Where is she?"

Foster dipped his head down and scuffed the toe of a boot on the floor.

"She's…with him, isn't she?"

Foster shook his head. "She's talking to Anderson. She's practically been living in this room."

Hobbs felt relief pour through him and he smiled. "You look a little rough, bro."

Foster beamed at him. "I'm better now that you're awake." He crossed to him and carefully placed a hand over his without the IV line. "You had me worried, Socks. All of us. Don't do that again or I'll have to end you."

"Never steal my line," Hobbs admonished and the two brothers hugged awkwardly, Hobbs giving him a slap on the back of the head.

The sound of the door opening made them both pause and he glanced over Foster's shoulder to where Shepard stood in the threshold.

He looked to his brother but Foster got the message loud and clear without him even having to open his mouth. Giving him a one-fingered salute and a sneaky thumbs-up he slipped past Shepard, pausing to squeeze her shoulder affectionately before he left. They had spent the month together – supporting each other, going through each tiny step back to recovery with Hobbs and they had grown very close, he could see that in the way her expression softened. She trusted him.

"Tempy." He said gently, leaning his head back on the pillow as he watched her. She stood a long moment just staring at him, her chest heaving as tears ran down her cheeks.

"You're awake." She said, her voice was strained, wavering and he could see how tired she looked. Her dark hair was dull, pulled back in a spider clip off her face and she looked sickly pale, her blue eyes like ice shards glinting in her beautiful face.

He smiled, nodding slowly "I made a promise." He said thickly.

And then she was moving toward him, her skin prickling with blue energy as she strode toward him fiercely. Without breaking stride she swung onto the bed, his hands grabbing in shock as she straddled him pressing her mouth against his hungrily; desperately and suddenly they were back in time again; fresh into training – curling into each other for protection in the early hours of the morning.

Hobbs felt tears on his face, not sure if they were his or hers, his fingers tangling in her hair as he broke from her mouth, kissing her throat, her shoulder, burying his face in her helplessly. He could feel her bristle as the reality of what she had just done sank in on her and he raised his eyes, the pain in her blue ones making him swallow hard.

He shook his head, his chest aching as he gave her a nervous smile, kissing the cherry of her lips softly "Don't say it." He whispered, breathing into her mouth as he closed his eyes "Don't speak Tempy."

"I have to." She whispered back, soft lips caressing his as they trembled with emotion "I'm sorry."

"No you don't." He insisted, kissing her again, rocking her against him as he pressed her close "You brought me back from the black Tempy." He cried, his voice low and crumbling as he caught her head in his hands, kissing her deeply this time.

"Stop." She whispered, breathless but she made no attempt to move, no attempt to stop him and he couldn't bring himself to either. Her hands smoothed over his shoulders, tracing the lines and swirls of the tribal tattoo there and he smiled seductively, tipping her head back with his nose as he kissed her from memory, feeling the sweet, heady rush of emotion as she moaned against him.

"God you feel…" She murmured and he closed his eyes, pressing his head over her heart as she cradled him close.

"Guys." The voice was Fosters and he felt Shepard flinch against him guiltily as though she had woken from a dream. She turned, scrambling off his lap and adjusting her hooded top, her eyes looking at the floor. "Sorry. It's just the lieutenant is here – I've sent him for coffee… but… I wanted to…" He cleared his throat awkwardly "Sorry."

"Kaidan." Abigail breathed and Hobbs watched her, could see the emotion pass over her face as though she were an open book. She hesitated, moving to the door slowly careful not to meet his gaze.

* * *

Kaidan was outside, a plastic cup of coffee in his hand and when he turned to look at her approaching he was wearing a small smile. She had seen him very briefly over the last month and looking at him now she felt intensely guilty as she tucked her hands inside the sleeves of her jacket and returned the small smile.

"Coffee?" He asked "Apparently you needed some."

Shepard frowned, and then remembering what Foster said she nodded "Thanks."

"Can we talk?" The words felt heavy and she brought her eyes to his, his expression was solemn and she blinked, knowing she was facing the choice she had been staggering toward all along – and she didn't feel ready.

"O..Ok." She nodded and waited while he took a seat in the waiting area. Slowly she sat in a chair next to him retrieving her mug of coffee from his fingers and taking a long drink. At least she had something to hide behind.

"Shepard…" He started and she froze, forcing herself to lower the mug "I… uh…" He smiled, his hand rubbing the back of his neck nervously "I know Foster loves his brother. I know he's looking out for him. And that's ok. But…" He cleared his throat "There's a window to Hobb's room. I don't think he realised that when he was barring the door."

Shepard closed her eyes "Kaidan…"

"Hey!" He smiled at her, splaying his hands nervously "I'm not angry… I mean… I'm not _happy_, but I'm… I'm not angry either." His dark eyes moved to the floor as he chewed on his lip "I came here to …well, to see you." He said finally "I'm glad Hobbs is ok. I am. He saved your life, I can't hate the guy – and I can see you are going through a lot right now, you're upset, emotional – maybe confused…" He shook his head "So I'm here to…" He swallowed "To let you go." He nodded sombrely "To give you space, to figure out what it is you want."

He paused a moment as a nurse strode by, folding his arms over his chest "I know what I want." He said evenly "And it's you – only you Abigail – but this past month…" He shook his head "I've been feeling like you've been trying to choose between us, and I kinda feel like I'm losing…" He gave her a small crooked smile "I don't want to be the guy who's in the way, I don't want to be an obstacle for you. All I want, is for you to be happy." He said sincerely "And if that is not with me, I can take it. I can. I mean I'll be crushed, don't get me wrong – you know how much you mean to me, but I can't be the guy that weighed you down." He swallowed "Or made you feel guilty. If I'm with you, I need all of you and that has to be something you are willing to give, not something I have to pry from you."

"Kaidan." She tried again and he smiled, his dark eyes bright with emotion as he cleared his throat and gave a firm shake of his head.

"Don't answer right now." He said quietly. Then he sat forward, reaching to the small table that was cluttered with magazines and leaflets about medical care. He pulled two old files toward him, handing the top one to her "I also came to give you this." He said, his tone lightening as she took the file gently.

"What is it?" she asked and he cleared his throat, wiping his eyes absently.

"It's dossiers, personnel records and photographs." He said quietly "Of your father Abby. Your real father."

When she looked to him sharply he smiled "I ran a DNA trace and got lucky I guess, everything's in there that I could find."

She frowned "What's the other one?"

"Oh." He tucked it under his arm "This is for Hobbs. He asked a favour before we went to Ilos."

She nodded "He's awake." She said in a tiny voice and then closed her eyes "Oh. Yeah. You know that already."

"That's ok." He chuckled getting to his feet and she stood with him, awkward and confused as she hugged herself "I'll see you around Abigail." He said gently, and he rubbed a hand on her shoulder, leaning in ever so hesitantly and kissed her. "Let me know," He whispered "one way or the other."

Abigail closed her eyes, feeling him push past her as tears threatened to overcome her. When they opened again she was alone, her fingers trembling on the grip of the file in her hands.

How had it come to this? She raised her eyes, unseeing as she probed thoughts that had been held back for so long, how had she managed to fall so far into that grey unknown? Sinking back onto the seat she pressed her head into her hand, her chest ached painfully as though she had just had her heart ripped from her and she knew she should go back in there and speak to them both – but how could she even begin to explain that she was in love with two men? How could she choose when she knew she didn't deserve either?

* * *

"_Get down." His voice was playful, but the order was serious and she ducked, frowning at him as he gave her a wide smile._

"_They have snipers." He said simply in explanation and Abigail nodded, pressing in closer to him. _

"_So you have a plan?" She asked and Hobbs moved his shoulder._

"_I always have a plan Tempy." He nodded "Yep. Man with a plan." _

_She smiled "Care to share?"_

"_Is this a rhyming competition now?" He grinned and she shook her head at him tiredly. "Because I'll beat you at that too; just like I beat your score on every simulation, on every target practice –"_

"_I beat you on the paper." She added pointedly, shuffling sideways behind their cover as she gripped her rifle and peered around the edge of the wall they were behind. "And so you know you would never beat me at rhymes." She laughed "You're not fighting in the pits anymore Hobbs, you're Alliance, that uniform kinda makes you girlie."_

_She didn't see him until his hand flapped her leg and she laughed, yelping as she drew away from him playfully._

"_You want to do this now Tempy?" He asked and the glint of challenge was in his eyes "In the middle of a simulation?" _

_She rolled her shoulder "You started it." And he chuckled, shaking his head and peering down the scope of his sniper rifle. She smiled, crawling closer to him, careful to keep her head low "__We all have the ability, to speak with civility, so here is some advice – talk real nice, talk real nice. Don't act mean; keep it clean – yeah Hobbs, you know what I mean."_

_Slowly he turned back from the scope to look at her, that same grin on his face as he shook his head "Weak." He said "They're heading in the other direction." He told her._

"_Let someone else get the flag." She purred, leaning into him and kissing him sweetly._

"_You are never going to get promoted with that attitude." He muttered and she moved her shoulders._

"_I didn't join the Alliance to get promoted." She grinned wickedly "I just like looking good in the uniform."_

_He smiled, moving toward her as he snaked an arm under her armour, pulling her under him as he kissed her deeply "That you do." He breathed and she laughed._

"_Is that you admitting defeat?" She asked, and he clicked his tongue, smiling._

"_Have you ever loved someone so much you'd give an arm for? Not the expression, no, literally an arm for? When they know they're your heart and you know you're their armour and you will destroy anyone who would try to harm her?" He shook his head "Yeah. That's all I got." _

_She looked at him seriously and then the façade fell as they both leaned into each other laughing and kissing._

_Just as quick the mood was broken as Hobbs raised his head from hers, his eyes narrowing and she knew that look without even having to hear him say it. He glanced down at her, sliding from her body as he moved back to his sniper rifle but instead of peering down the scope he rolled onto his back, pulling his pistol free as he rolled again, back to his front and peered around the edge of the wall. _

_Abigail was moving with him, her rifle ready as she pressed her back to the wall waiting for the signal. He took a breath – and as she watched it felt like the intake of oxygen filled her lungs too – like they were one being, fluid and precise. It was why they were top of the Alliance training cadets. _

_Slowly he nodded and she bucked forward getting to her feet. As soon as she did she heard bodies move, turning just in time to see a dozen cadets come rushing from hiding all aiming at her – the sound of the shot-sensors suddenly rang out and one of them cried out surprised as he was taken out of the simulation, then another and another – still no one had managed to fire a shot. _

_Shouldering the rifle she finished off the remaining one, the cacophony of the shot-sensors making her grind her teeth as she dropped the fake rifle to the ground. Hobbs got to his feet, squinting as he looked at the annoyed cadets carefully before he turned to her with a wild grin._

"_I count that as my five to your one." He shook his head "You have to get better at aiming Tempy."_

* * *

"Shepard." The voice startled her and she flinched, turning to see Captain Anderson standing over her.

"Sir." She said, getting quickly to her feet and snapping a salute but he was already shaking his head.

"Relax, I'm not here in a formal capacity kiddo. Just came to see how you are."

She nodded, dropping her arm and managed a smile "I'm fine," She said evenly "Hobbs is awake."

For a moment he looked pained and she was reminded how much he disliked the man on a personal level, but she knew Paps better than that, she knew he was grateful for Hobbs' help.

"I saw Alenko come in." He said, and Abigail nodded absently "You were planning on declaring that right?"

She smiled "I… I don't know about that." She said honestly and he smiled.

"Always thought that boy was gay." He chewed "Peculiar. Still, better than you fighting like cat and dog I suppose."

Shepard frowned "What are you talking about?" She asked confused "I've never fought with Alenko – you mean on Arcturus before we boarded the Normandy? That wasn't a fight-"

"You don't remember him from Blue Horizon?" Anderson asked genuinely surprised "He was the senior you used to beat the snot out of on a regular basis Abby. The one that stopped you getting court martialled for killing another cadet in the cafeteria – that was the day we met remember?"

Abigail shook her head "I… I didn't know." She mumbled and Anderson smiled, inclining his head.

"Figured. I wondered why you didn't kick up a song and dance when you saw his name on the roster."

"I never knew his name." Abigail said, remembering the boy Anderson spoke of, the lanky senior that seemed to have turned up whenever she was in trouble. She grimaced. "That's embarrassing." She added.

"I just stopped by to pay my thanks." Anderson said "And to let you know Udina wants to speak with you; you're back on duty tomorrow."

"I know." She said tiredly "I'll speak to him soon. I just want to speak with Hobbs and then I'm heading away…" She let the sentence die off not wanting to let on the emotional turmoil she felt. "I'll speak to him." She said firmly.

"Make sure you do." Anderson nodded "We'll get time next time you have more shore leave." He added, patting her shoulder heavily. She smiled and he pulled her into a tight embrace, giving her an affectionate peck on her hair before he left.

* * *

Hobbs was exhausted, sinking back into the pillow he smiled, laughing at nothing and then when Foster looked at him he frowned, clearing his throat.

"I think the pain medication is kicking in again." He slurred with a grin.

"You want me to go get that nurse?" Foster asked raising his eyebrows "She could maybe kiss you back to sense."

Hobbs shook his head, wincing as he turned onto his side, pushing an arm under his head "I've had enough excitement for one day." He mumbled and Foster laughed, sitting on the stool next to his bed.

"What is this?" Foster asked thumbing through the file Kaidan had left.

"Put it down." Hobbs said, stretching the last word as he stifled a yawn "It's. Classified." He snorted, pressing his face into the pillow as the door opened. The same nurse from earlier approached his bed, her eyes downcast, her face already a hot shade of pink as she paused hesitating beside him.

"Back for round two?" Hobbs asked her and she flushed crimson and then he snickered, rubbing his eyes as he rolled onto his back again "Is this… this medication is… it's beautiful." He grinned as Genevieve took his pulse.

"You're an idiot Socks." Foster muttered, his nose buried in the file.

Without a word Genevieve moved to his chart, marking details before she smiled to Foster and left quickly. This time when the door opened Shepard came in, looping strands of her dark hair behind her ears as she came up behind Foster, peering at the file he was reading.

"Where did you get that?" She asked, the tone of her voice making Foster turn to look at her. He shrugged.

"Stink -I mean.. Alenko left it for Hobbs." He said weakly.

"Hobbs, why do you have a file on Lieutenant Cooper?" She asked hotly and in the bed Hobbs moved a shoulder lazily.

"That's the marine that pulled you off Mindoir right?" He asked, his expression playing hard at seriousness as he tried to focus on her face.

"Yes." She bit off, moving to his bedside.

"It says he's MIA." Hobbs said carefully "Not KIA. I thought it was about time someone found him. Brought him home." He pointed a finger, probably supposed to be _at_ her but it ended up pointing to the ceiling, falling to the window and at last he gave up and let his arm drop by his side.

"I need to talk to you." She said, "but not like this. When did the meds kick in?"

Hobbs shrugged again giving her a lazy smile "You're so beautiful."

She looked at him seriously "Stop it." And then turned to Foster "I have to speak to Udina."

"Udina?" Foster frowned "Why?"

Shepard smiled "Sorry Bambi – Commander stuff." And then she turned back to Hobbs "How are you feeling?"

He smiled "You know," He said his voice dropping to serious "It's been a long time since I've had a tube in my penis." He nodded solemnly and she blinked at him, looking to Foster for help.

"Yeah, that's nasty." Foster said with a smile "You've had a tube up there before?"

"Yes." Hobbs nodded, his head lolling back onto the pillow as he closed his eyes "When she shot me in the arse."

"Hobbs!" Abby cried.

"What?!" He squeaked and Foster laughed, so hard in fact he bucked forward in the chair holding his ribs. "Shut up Beer." Hobbs muttered, his eyes fluttering closed "You're just jealous because I don't have to move to pee."

"Ok." Shepard said holding her hands up "I. Am. Out." She turned to Foster "Let him know I'll be back to see him before we head out – wherever they are sending us." She paused turning to look at him as he slept on peacefully "Tell him…" She sighed "Tell him I'm thinking about him. And I'll see you aboard the Normandy tomorrow morning."

* * *

"_Remember and keep that end of the gun pointed away from me." Hobbs smiled as he loaded his rifle, Shepard gave him a withering glare but he was right – live ammunition simulations were not in the same ball-game as the others. _

"_Are you implying I'm stupid?" she asked, giving the rifle she held a once over._

"_Would I?" He grinned, stepping in to her and kissing her gently._

"_Spew." Crow groaned beside them, readying his own rifle "Why did you even join the Alliance? Porn is big money on the extranet you know." He smiled wickedly, dark eyes twinkling and Hobbs made a noise, popping gum in his mouth as he flapped the smaller man around the head._

"_You would know." He smiled, his mouth in motion as he turned to look for the squad leader. Shepard saw the impatience on his face, knew how badly he wanted Squad Leader and she ached a little for him. He deserved a break, he deserved recognition, he was damned good at this but the Alliance hated his track record of fighting and kept glancing over him. It wasn't fair._

_At last Officer Prately appeared, tucking a helmet on as he came toward them with heavy strides._

"_Ok." He said, his voice rough and annoyed already "We're going into the compound, they've set up target drones – shoot only the drones. This is a live fire simulation so the regs are serious for fraternising." He looked pointedly to Hobbs who only grinned chewing his gum and then jammed his helmet over his head "And fooling around. Game faces on people."_

_With that he signalled them to go and the three soldiers began to fan out. Shepard moved with Hobbs, they had trained together so often now it was habit and they had become a good team – unbeatable._

_As they rounded the corner into the empty compound he put up a hand and she paused, watching him as his eyes swept over everything. Then he glanced back to her, frowning through the visor of his helmet._

"_How many times Tempy, put your helmet on." His voice was exasperated through the speaker of his helmet and she flinched, grabbing for the catch on her armour that allowed her helmet to hang down her back. _

_He shook his head as she turned, twisted, trying to catch it and then at last he sighed turning back to her. Sullenly she turned around as he lifted the helmet for her, sliding it over her long hair. _

"_They are there for a reason." He said. She watched his eyes through the visor wishing she could kiss him when movement behind him caught her attention. He must have seen the change in her eyes because he turned caught off guard and ducked for cover just as the first electric pulse shot from the floating practice drone, barely missing him. _

_Shepard cried out, slamming the safety off her rifle and firing, but it didn't work – shaking the rifle angrily she checked the side again, checked the barrel and then realised with admonishment she hadn't hit the right catch. Just as she slammed the safety off and raised her rifle the drone fired at her, the electric pulse shooting through her suit and taking her knees from under her. _

_She heard Hobbs shout her name and wrenched the gun round aiming for the drone as she squeezed the trigger. At first she thought she had been shot, the punch in her shoulder so severe she cried out, her finger clamping over the trigger as she shuddered and fought against the rifle as it jerked and waved in her arm firing rounds blindly. _

_Finally she got it under control, dropping the gun angrily as she got to her feet. She yanked the helmet from her head, the cool air clearing her thoughts as she took deep breaths genuinely spooked by the experience. _

"_You alright?" It was Prately, he was rushing to her side with his helmet tucked into the crook of his arm. _

"_Yeah." She grumbled "I just… I think I need a smaller gun."_

"_I'd say." Hobbs groaned, coming to her side "Permission to go to medical sir." He asked, his voice stiff as he sucked in a painful breath._

"_Corporal… have you wet your pants?" Prately asked and Hobbs glanced down at his legs._

"_Ah." He nodded "Yes. Probably."_

_Prately blinked at him "Go and get changed." He said curling his lip as he turned to head toward Crow._

_Shepard frowned looking at the wet patch on his combats "Did I scare you?" she smiled and he shook his head, his expression unreadable as he limped back a step._

"_You shot me." He said stiffly._

"_I what?" She asked._

"_You shot me." He said again and she shook her head._

"_I did?" She moved to him "Where?"_

_He shook his head "In the bum Shepard." He moaned._

_Stifling a laugh she moved round behind him and sure enough the back of his combats were soaked with blood, the entry of the bullet on his left cheek "Oh." She said and pressed a hand over her mouth "I told you not to put a helmet on me." She complained "I can't think right when I have one on." She waited a beat and then added "At least you have an excuse for peeing yourself lieutenant, that's a natural reaction." _

_He smiled, limping another step back "Have your fun now Tempy." He nodded "But you're going to regret this later." He warned her and she laughed, looping his arm over her shoulder as they headed back out toward the facility. _

_It was later that night, after surgery to remove the bullet and heal the wound when he found her again. She was sitting at the busy mess hall surrounded as always by marines trying to chat her up – and normally that would irk him, but Hobbs knew she was his girl. _

_He strode into the mess and as the first giggles erupted around him he threw his arms wide coaxing them on. Doing a small circle as the laughter of the other cadets grew. He pointed a finger to Shepard._

"_I told you, you would regret it later." He said to her and she smiled at him from where she sat. _

"_Oh yeah?" she called, leaning back in her seat "What you got?"_

_He smiled, turning so his back was to her and lifted his shirt. There were a few cat-calls and whistles but he ignored them, unlooping his belt and dropping his trousers and boxers proudly to a raucous applause and rabble. He threw his arms out glancing over his shoulder at her with a wide, playful smile and rejoiced as he saw her turn a fresh and bright crimson. _

"_That's right." He nodded sincerely "I had your name put under the scar baby."_

* * *

Foster lay on the visitor bed next to his brother's hospital one, eyes closed, chest rising and falling slowly. One hand dangled over the bed and he made fitful sounds as he slept. The door slid open and Liara cautiously entered the room, glancing to see if they were alone. Her big blue eyes were sorrowful as she gazed at Operative Hobbins' bruised face, lying in a bed next to his younger brother.

She crossed to Foster and took the hand, holding it in hers. It was cold and she tried to instill some warmth. Those blue, blue eyes opened and he said something she didn't understand. "What? What did you say?"

His mouth curved in an impish smile. "I said 'I need CPR."

"I…do not understand." She tried to relinquish his hand, but he intertwined his fingers with hers.

"Mouth to mouth," he whispered, lowering his voice so that it rumbled in the region of her belly. "It's something every doctor needs to know."

"Oh! I should call the nurse!"

"You could or _you_ could do it."

"I…do not know how."

He sat up, the sheet sliding to his lap, revealing an expanse of tan, smooth chest. He took her other hand and drew her closer. "Let me demonstrate. You might have to do it when you're on a mission." He transferred one hand to the back of her neck, fingers stroking her crests.

Liara moaned, which obligingly opened her mouth for him and he pressed his lips to hers and his tongue gently probed the soft tissue near her tongue. "Oh!"

Hesitantly, her arms went around his neck and he pulled her up onto his lap. He cradled her in his arms while he caressed and kissed her until the light blue of her skin flushed darker blue and he saw her biotics appear in white swirls, seeming to come from her pores, flooding her skin with light.

Foster felt the tingle and he shuddered.

Liara broke the kiss and stared at her glowing skin. "You must let me go, Foster. I might hurt you."

"You won't," he assured her, shushing her, stroking her to the very tips of her crests. "All I could think about when I was down there fighting the geth was you."

"I as well. I mean, you were on my mind." She sounded flustered and he found it delightful. "So, this is CPR?"

Foster nodded a naughty gleam in his eyes.

"If I was on a mission with Shepard I would be required to do this to save her life?"

He shook his head. "It only works on blond, blue-eyed pilots."

She looked puzzled a moment and then she smiled. "Oh, you!" She gave his chest a playful shove and then wished she hadn't because her fingers touched the warm, brown skin. She splayed her fingers over his heart, one involuntarily brushing his nipple. "Oh! I am sorry!"

His eyes incinerated her. "I'm not. I've wanted you to touch me since we first met."

Liara glanced behind her at Hobbs who was still asleep thank the goddess. "But, if we are to do what I think you wish to do, we cannot do it here."

He gently sat her down and slid off the bed, clad only in Navy issue pants. "You want to?" he asked softly.

She caressed his cheek, marveling at the feel of the stubble. "I believe I do."

"Your cabin?" He held her hands up so he could kiss each finger.

Liara's eyes were getting bigger by the minute. "I, aboard the ship? Yes!"

"It's a date." He gave her a kiss that caused her to cling to him long after it was over. "Socks should be awake from all the sedation they've given him."

"I admire the loyalty you show your brother. You were apart such a long time."

He shrugged and dropped a kiss on each crest, causing Liara to shiver. "You…seem to know just where to touch," she said in a voice that showed he was awakening her to a new world to be explored.

Foster patted her behind gently right before she left the room. "More CPR?" she asked.

He grinned as she patted his tight butt cheeks.

"Am I doing it right?"

He walked her to the door and watched her as she walked, knowing she was feeling dazed and confused and turned on as hell.

He whistled a jaunty tune as he turned back to the room and saw a pair of turquoise eyes staring at him with hostile intentions. "Beer, how many times do I have to tell you I hate fucking asari?!"

Foster chuckled. "Then…"

Hobbs laughed. "Yeah, yeah, I know, then don't fuck 'em."


	25. Chapter 25

Title: Ilos Epilogue  
Author: DinkyMew and JagesPages  
Game: Mass Effect (one)  
Disclaimer: Bioware own all content and characters related to the Mass Effect franchise. Abigail Shepard is my own creation inspired by the character of Jane Shepard created by Bioware. Any original characters contained herein are my own creations (with the exception of Vindex Foster who is the sole property of Julie Jones and the Swagger Vasa Chronicles) and are not necessarily affiliated with Bioware. **You may not copy, edit or distribute this fanfiction as it stands without my expressed permission – thank you**

Epilogue

* * *

_The facility was silent as she padded down the corridor the bottom of her red sweater brushing her thighs as she paused outside the door, cracking it open a slither._

"_Stop sneaking around Tempy." His voice sounded in the black and she smiled, opening the door enough so she could slip inside and closed it quietly once more. _

_She put her hands out in front of her, knowing the desk and chair weren't too far in front of her. Just as her fingers grazed the wooden back of the chair her foot cracked into the leg and she hissed, stumbling as she flailed in the dark, hopping on one foot and then felt a hot, heavy hand catch her forearm. _

_She could hear him chuckling, disoriented in the dark as the fingers on her arm slid to her elbow, drawing her forward and down. Her shin touched metal and she heard him yelp as a flush of static raced over her skin and into him – the blue flash momentarily lighting the dorm room. _

"_Will you two keep it down." Crow moaned from the top bunk "Some of us are trying to sleep."_

_She smiled, sinking onto the mattress beside Hobbs as he wrapped her in the blanket with him and she pressed her head to his chest. _

"_Is that where my sweater went." He muttered, his hand at her waist rolling the woollen fabric between his fingers. She grinned, raising her face, her nose brushing his chin and she felt him move, lips pressing to hers gently. _

"_I got reassigned."She whispered against his mouth and she felt him draw back, her eyes were open but it was useless, there was only blackness and so she couldn't discern his reaction from expression, but she could feel it through his skin as his hand cupped around her shoulder, pressing her against him tightly._

"_Why?" He asked quietly and she shook her head. _

"_They just said I would be more suited in biotic combat." She said "And gave me a pistol." She added with a smile. _

"_Hmm." He made the noise low in his throat "I also got reassigned." He whispered "Or, well, I got offered a job." He explained._

_She raised her eyebrows, moving her head so it was on his shoulder, next to his ear "A job?"She asked._

"_A good job." He said firmly "Yeah, you remember when I was fighting in the ring?" He didn't wait for her answer "Well I did odd jobs every now and then too for… this guy. He wants to give me a full time job. In the Alliance, well paid."_

"_Really?" She asked and he kissed her forehead gently "What did you say?"_

_He moved under her, his arm slipping from under her head as he leaned on his elbow. She couldn't see him but she could feel him over her, his face inches from hers was radiating heat and she held her breath. _

"_I don't know yet." He said gently and she could feel his lips whisper over her cheekbone "I wanted to talk to you first."_

"_Why?" She asked and his face pressed to the side of hers, the darkness making her heart race as she closed her eyes, unable to seek him out, unable to find intent in his eyes she took a deep breath._

"_Because." He said quietly, lips pressing to her temple. "You are the most important thing to me." He whispered, his lips shivering down to her neck. "And I'm ready Tempy – for it all – for everything." His mouth curved against her skin and she could tell he was smiling; a kiss on her collarbone made her catch her breath "I…" He gave a small laugh, a kiss on the swell of her bosom at the neckline of the sweater. "I think I might be asking you to marry me." He said._

_She opened her eyes, her heart freezing solid in her chest "What did you just say?" She asked._

_He chuckled, his hands slipping under the sweater against bare skin as he coaxed her legs apart with one of his. She shuddered, slipping her arms around his neck as he moved over her, pressing into her and she moaned gently as his mouth covered hers swallowing it against his own. _

_The kiss was long and deep and sweet and she ran her fingers up the back of his neck into his hair, feeling him shiver against her. She opened her eyes and the blackness was broken by the white and blue swirl of biotics as it licked at his skin, giving her teasing glimpses of muscle undulating against her, of his mouth as it opened to capture hers once more._

"_Marry me Tempy." He whispered into her mouth "Marry me."_

_She kissed him, forgetting all at once where they were as a moan escaped from her and then movement above them on the upper bunk reminded her and she smiled apologetically as Hobbs shushed her, his hand moving into her hair. _

"_For Christ sake!"Crow shouted, and the pair froze, Hobbs pressing his mouth over hers as he snickered quietly against her lips. "Will you two get a fucking room!" The sound of him landing heavily on the floor made her flinch and then there was a shift in the light as he opened the door and slammed it closed as he left. _

"_At last." Hobbs muttered "Took him long enough." He grinned, the feel of his lips curving against her cheek making her smile along with him "Are you ready to start screaming Shepard?"_

* * *

Hobbs picked up the red sweater from the hospital bed, pressing it to his face briefly before he yanked it over his head easily. Turning he grabbed the file on Corporal Cooper and his toothpick slipping it into his mouth as he slung the duffel over his shoulder. Just as he turned the door opened and Foster came in, dressed in Alliance blues and Hobbs paused, momentarily stunned by how smart he looked – and how proud he felt of him.

"Beer." He said and Foster smiled, splaying his hands wide.

Foster grinned. "That's Corporal Beer." He preened in his new uniform, turning for Hobbs' inspection. "What do you think?" He asked, and Hobbs nodded. "I'm back in the blues." His smile faded a little though as he cleared his throat "I heard…I heard you're not coming."

"To fight geth?" Hobbs snorted "No. I…" He smiled. "I have some other stuff to take care of." He nodded slowly. "I'll see you again though, once this is done we'll catch up. Get some beers. Fill in lost time." He slapped a hand on his shoulder "I've got your back but I… I need you to do me a favour."

Foster nodded "Anything man, what's wrong?"

Hobbs sighed "I need you to… keep an eye on Shepard. Just…"He smiled "Just look after my girl ok?" He said at last.

Have you seen the new recruiting poster for the Alliance?"

Hobbs shook his head.

Foster ducked his head, smirking. "I thought that's why you want me to stand guard over her. Keep all the lieutenants away during your absence. I assure ya nobody's gonna steal your girl this time. If I have to sleep outside in the hall, pistol under my pillow, I swear, no other guy's getting near her." He spit into his hand and held it out and Hobbs spit in his and the two clasped hands.

Hobbs shook a wet finger at him. "I better not hear you were insubordinate or I will lay you out when I get back."

Foster shook his hands in mock terror. "Ooh, I'm so scared!" He threw his head back and laughed.

Hobbs put on his best, menacing big-brother look. "I mean it."

"She's here." Foster said waggling his eyebrows at him "She's signing you out under Spectre authority, giving you leave to go where you want –but I have a feeling she was hoping it would be back to the Normandy."

"Yeah?" Hobbs said with a smile "Well, we'll see." He pulled his brother into a tight hug, pressing a kiss to the side of his head. "You take care of yourself Beer." He said firmly. "You stay away from Blue." He drew back and Foster was chuckling "I am serious." Hobbs complained "She's about the only asari I actually like – she's far too good for you, and if I get back here and there are a dozen little blue Beer babies running around I-"

"You will end me." Foster nodded.

Hobbs smiled, slapping his face gently as he readjusted the duffel on his shoulder "I'll go speak to Tempy and then I am adios."

"Don't be a stranger." Foster said as he left the room and he didn't dare look back for fear he would get stuck. He never wanted to leave his brother, but he knew the Normandy was the best place for him, and Shepard would look out for him. He trusted her with that.

He spotted her instantly standing a little down the corridor, her arms folded as she read a flyer on the wall with a disconcerted frown. He approached lightly giving her his best smile as she turned.

"What are you looking at?" He asked and she pointed. He followed her gaze to an Alliance recruitment poster. She was plastered on the flyer, her dark wavy hair falling over bare shoulders, the Alliance dress blue jacket zipped open to the swell of her bosom.

"Whoah." He blinked, squinting and then looking closer "Commander Shepard." He breathed and she punched his arm playfully.

"Ow." He grinned turning to her "So, I'm off for a while."

She nodded "So I heard."

"How's Kaidan?"

She hesitated, frowning as she looked at him carefully "He's…good. We're on a sorta break for now." She nodded "But I've seen him, he's good."

Hobbs smiled "On a break till he sees those posters maybe."He joked. "Then he'll be chapping at your quarters again." She laughed and he felt his chest constrict with happiness at the sound. "I have to get going though." He said gently. "I'll write. If you want me to. I mean."

Shepard nodded "That would be nice." She said and then gave him a small smile "Take care of yourself Operative Hobbins."

He gave a breathless laugh, looking at his boots "Yeah." He nodded, closing his eyes briefly "Stay safe, Commander."


	26. Chapter 26

Title: Mass Effect Two Chapter One  
Author: DinkyMew and JagesPages  
Game: Mass Effect (Two)  
Disclaimer: Bioware own all content and characters related to the Mass Effect franchise. Abigail Shepard is my own creation inspired by the character of Jane Shepard created by Bioware. Any original characters contained herein are my own creations (with the exception of Vindex Foster who is the sole property of Julie Jones and the Swagger Vasa Chronicles) and are not necessarily affiliated with Bioware. **You may not copy, edit or distribute this fanfiction as it stands without my expressed permission – thank you**

* * *

"**Into the Black"**

Shepard glanced out the window at the FTL stream flowing past the ship. After spending one month practically living at the hospital and then making an attempt to stay away from Hobbs as he recuperated, and Kaidan bowing out of her life so gracefully…

She thudded her fist against the glass. His kind words, his sweet demeanour, had crawled into the recesses of her brain, reminding her of the images from the beacons, words that screamed their sincerity, a love that melted into hues of orange and yellow behind her eyes—images of their few times together. Flashes of them kissing, the way his dark eyes lit up when she would go see him at his station. They emblazoned themselves in her memory, but then darker colors would swirl, obliterating everything with Kaidan and she would be with Hobbs as they were in the past when it was good, when it was seething hot passion between them, when he was her entire world.

Both men wanted to be her entire world and that was the problem, considering what their worlds faced—the threat of the Reapers. How could she even consider making a choice when none of them would be alive if the Reapers weren't stopped?

She thudded her fist against the window again then saw a face reflected and turned. "Bambi, you need something?"

He handed her a cup of coffee. He knew how she took it and brought one to her every morning. She smiled fondly at Foster who moved to the window and seemed to be inspecting it.

"What are you doing?" she asked, knowing he expected her to comment.

"Oh, just checking to see if there are any cracks." His cheeky smile made her laugh. "I mean, the way you kept hitting it…"

She cuffed him gently on the head and he chuckled. "Isn't there anything in the regs that covers a superior officer striking a well-meaning corporal?"

She sipped her coffee and rolled her eyes in appreciation. It was perfect. "You spoil me," she said, sighing in contentment.

"You deserve it." He leaned against the bulkhead. "So," he drew out the word so that it sounded like a musical note. "We find any trace of geth yet?"

She took another sip, not letting the fact that they hadn't spoil her enjoyment of the moment. "Nope," she answered in his vernacular.

"I've been down in the garage with Garrus working on the Mako. I thought you might want to know Wrex is getting agitated. It might be a good idea for you to go talk to him."

"Fill me in." She was all Commander now.

Foster gave her a pained look. "It's just he feels; Garrus feels, I feel that this is a waste of our time, Commander." He was careful to use her rank.

"Orders are orders, Corporal." She took it down a notch, returning them to friend status. "Bambi, I feel the same way but there isn't a helluva lot I can do about it."

"But the orders didn't come from Admiral Hackett, Abs." He began to pace, something she had learned he did when he was agitated. "They came from that fucking politician Udina and the Council." He played with his dog tags, tinkling them over and over—another give-away to his state of mind. "They're totally ignoring the Reapers! All the blame's been cast on the geth!" His eyes flared. "If that's the case, then why isn't Hackett deploying the fleet to the Perseus Veil and wiping them out?!"

Shepard put down her coffee cup and placed her hands on his tense shoulders. "Calm down, Bambi. Ours is not to reason why…"

"Bullshit!" His hands came up to grip hers. "We're being played! Abs, _you're_ being played!"

She broke away from the contact and scowled at him. "Just exactly what do you think I can do about it?"

"I dunno." He spread his hands. "Something?!" He gestured wildly. "Let's see, you stole a star ship, kidnapped the crew, risked intergalactic war with the Terminus Systems, and committed treason to go after Saren and prevent him from going through the Conduit. "

Shepard felt anger start to roil in her gut, but it wasn't at him—it was because he was right! She'd allowed herself to be manipulated, to blindly follow orders, because it was easier. It meant she wouldn't have anything else to deal with and could maybe reach a decision on who she loved the most.

Fingers snapped in front of her eyes and she focused on intense blue.

"Abs, I know if Hobbs was here, he'd say the same thing. There's just something wrong about this."

She slid her fingers through her hair, loosening it from the clip so that tendrils fell over her face. Foster, without thinking, brushed them back and secured them for her. It was something he'd done in the hospital and she closed her eyes, remembering those soul-sucking minutes becoming hours, days, stretching out into a month of longing and mind-numbing worry that the man she loved would never open his eyes again.

"You're thinking about Socks right now." When her eyes flew open, Foster grinned. "You get that gooey expression on your face when you think of my brother."

"Yes, well, you should see your face when you're thinking about Liara," she teased.

He blushed. "Socks hates asari."

She frowned. "I wonder why." She pursed her lips. "He's never mentioned anything to make him feel like that towards an entire race."

"Nope, to me either."

She heaved a heavy sigh. "Bambi, I want you to know my door's always open and I don't take what you have to say lightly, but, for the time being…"

Foster interrupted. "You're a Spectre, Abs. I thought Spectres weren't bound by any rules."

Her blue eyes stabbed into his. "You sound like Garrus. The Council revised some of the Spectre regs thanks to Saren going rogue. There are boundaries now. I can't act outside the law and the Council's will."

His eyes widened in disbelief. "The Council whose lives you saved at the loss of how many humans—that Council?!"

"Foster," she said in a warning tone to let him know she wouldn't be pushed much further.

"Abigail," he countered. "Garrus has contacts, okay, and that is just not true. Udina lied to you. He was the one to tell you about the new regs, wasn't he?"

Shepard felt heat rise into her face and her biotics flared briefly. "Why would he do that?"

"He's a fucking politician wanting to get into the Council's holier-than-thou pants! He wanted to be able to exert some control over you because he knows this is a bullshit mission." Foster's eyes blazed. "That's why you've had no contact from Admiral Hackett, because they know he'd be in your corner. He and Anderson. He doesn't know about this—bet it's labelled top secret for Council's eyes and ears only."

"I think this conversation is over."

Foster nodded, but the ire in his eyes did not disappear. "A friend tells you the truth no matter how much it pisses you off, Abs, and, dammit, I'm your friend."

She hugged him until she felt his anger diminish and his arms came around her waist and he picked her up, gazing into her face. "I told Hobbs I'd watch over you, I keep my promises, Abs."

She tapped his nose playfully. "Put me down," she told him with fond exasperation. "You can't keep doing that. It's not right to flirt so outrageously with your brother's ex."

"The crew will talk and say we're in love?" He waggled his brows at her, but he did set her down on the deck. "Abs, everybody but you knows who you love, and he isn't on this ship." He grinned, took the empty coffee cup and sauntered away, whistling under his breath.

"Scamp," she called after him and she heard him laugh right before he entered the elevator.

* * *

But… he didn't enter the elevator. A soft voice caused him to pause and look over his shoulder. Liara stood there, wringing her hands, a habit she had when she wanted something.

"Hey, Blue," he said, smiling. "Need something?"

She nodded. "I believe you called it CPR." Her large eyes glowed, probably with feelings she couldn't understand.

"Dr. Chakwas in the medbay?" he asked, taking her hands in his.

She glanced around nervously and he knew she was worried someone would see them. She quivered when he crushed the backs of her hands with his lips. "Oh! Fos, I…"

He put a finger to his lips, ducked around the corner to where Mess was and then came back and took her hand and led her into the medbay. He smiled, trying to put her at ease. "Liara, it's okay to have these feelings."

"But…they are so…intense and I just want more and more CPR!"

He traced her lips with his thumb. "It's okay, sweetheart. Talk to me. Why are you so scared?"

She put her hands on his chest, but she needed to feel the warmth of his flesh, so she undid the clasps, baring the tanned, smooth skin. She laid her head against him, feeling the strong beat of his heart. "I…feel so safe when I'm here with you."

"No man likes to be told he's safe, babe, but I understand what you mean." He caressed her back.

She leaned back so she could look at him. "Why do you like asari so much? I wish it was just one asari you liked, Fos."

"I like asari—I like _you_—because your race is willing to take the chance of falling in love, of taking a mate even though he or she won't live as long and you will lose them. You're willing to risk it all for someone short-lived like me. That's a complete, utter turn-on for me, Liara."

"It turns you on that you will die long before I will?"

He kissed the tip of her nose. "Nope, not that. You'd be young and beautiful the way you are now and I'd be old and gray and you'd still love me." He shook his head and chuckled. "It's hard to put into words, Liara. I'd much rather show you how I feel."

She leaned against him and moaned softly when she felt him unzip the back of her top. He butterfly-kissed all the way down to her back, then turned her around and slipped the garment off her. She didn't wear human undergarments, so, for a moment, she held the material shielding her breasts.

"Undress me, babe."

She blushed. He could be so forward sometimes and she was so insecure and unknowing. "Take off everything?" Her voice squeaked.

"Or not," he said, gathering her into his arms. "Liara, I'd never force you." He kissed each eyelid as she shut them. He kissed her face down to her neck. He licked her collarbone, finding the color of blue there changed to a darker hue that fascinated him. She released the garment, sighing when he cradled her breasts, thumbs teasing the nipples.

"I…never knew it would be like this. Mother was so clinical when she talked about it."

He paused kissing her and smiled gently, prompting her to talk to him. "What's bothering you, Blue?"

"What if I'm no good at it? I've never…" She broke away from him and sobbed, "I've never done this! I don't know how to –to please you."

He shushed her as he moved to take her in his arms. "I'll teach you. We'll learn together."

"What do I do?"

"Let's take it slow," he said soothingly.

"But I'm naked and you have all your clothes on!"

Foster took off his shirt. "Better?"

Liara stared at the definition in his abs, the slope of his collarbone, the curve of his neck.  
"I want to teach you something humans call foreplay," he said, coming to her.

"I…Fos, what do I do?"

"What do you want to do?"

"I…want to touch you."

His eyes caught fire. "Then do what you want, Blue. _Everything_ you want."

* * *

Shepard was approaching the elevator and paused when she saw Foster glancing around the mess and then her eyes widened when she saw him reappear, holding Liara's hand. _So, little Bambi found his faline_. She thought briefly about mentioning to him it was frowned on to fraternize with another member of the crew, but, screw it! She had more important things to do with her time, and it hadn't stopped her and Kaidan, now had it?

Kaidan…For a moment his dark brown eyes and the handsome face with its earnest expression lingered, but then another face with blue-green eyes superimposed itself and Kaidan faded from view. Hobbs—her Hobbs—always and forever. How could she have thought for one moment that Kaidan, sweet, dependable Kaidan, could replace Hobbs? They completed each other—always had and always would. Coming so close to losing him cleared up things and old hurts didn't seem to matter anymore.

She had put off thinking about it for so long, but now realised the answer had been there the whole time.

She shook her head to clear it of anything but the mission. Was what Bambi said true? Was it a bogus mission? Did they just want to keep her occupied; out of their hair? And why hadn't Admiral Hackett contacted her?

She mulled these questions over as the elevator descended. The door slid open and she saw Garrus and Wrex were by the Mako and they seemed to be in a heated discussion.

Garrus looked up immediately, showing deference and greeting her in his two-toned voice she actually found kind of sexy. Of course she'd never tell him that!

"Garrus, Wrex, Bambi said there's a problem?"

Garrus propped one of his big three-toed feet up on the grill of the Mako. "There may very well be, Shepard," he said gravely.

Wrex was fed up. She could tell by his body language as the huge krogan roamed the garage in large circles, always ending back at the Mako. "My plates itch," he growled.

Garrus clicked his mandibles. "That's never a good sign." His dry sense of humor was always prevalent, but she could tell he was serious this time.

She leaned against the Mako and crossed her arms over her chest. This was her Commander stance. It let them know she was listening, but also the final decision rested with her. "All right, fellas, give it to me straight."

"The extra-net neither denies nor confirms the validity of this mission. Admiral Hackett has no knowledge of it according to one of my sources in C-Sec." The turian sounded a little nervous.

"And?' she prompted.

"And something smells and it's not the cook's provisions," Wrex grumbled.

"All you have is unsubstantiated," she told them. "Give me solid proof."

"Evidence the Council's sending us on a wild, I believe the expression is geese chase?" Garrus dropped his spanner and bent to pick it up.

"That's goose hunt, Garrus." Shepard was tired of what bordered on insubordination. "If either one of you wants off this mission, I can have Joker drop you at the nearest space station or port."

Garrus managed, even without facial expression, to look affronted. "Shepard, that was uncalled for."

"Sure as hell was!" Wrex thudded over to his locker, pulled out his shotgun and began to clean it on the weapons bench.

She gritted her teeth. "Look, I know I broke just about every rule there was when it came to Saren, but this is different."

"How?" they chorused. Garrus shook his head. "Lie to yourself, Shepard, but not to us. We stuck by you when it looked like there was no hope. We just want you to be honest with us."

"As far as I know, the mission's on track."

Garrus carefully replaced the spanner and activated his omni-tool. "I…see. Well, then. Either you're naïve or a fool if you believe that."

"Vakarian," she said in a warning tone.

"I have some calibrations to do, and, whatever this is, I still have your six, Commander." He turned away from her to the Mako.

Wrex slammed his locker with a huge fist, leaving a dent. "I like you more than most, Shepard and you've earned my respect, but this." He crashed another dent into the locker. "I'll take you up on that offer to leave."

"If that's what you want to do, Wrex, I won't stop you."

"Someone, oh, yeah, that was you!" Wrex buried his fist deep into the metal. "Someone told me once that I could make a difference on my home world, so I want to return to Tuchanka. Maybe I can do some good there. I sure as hell can't here!"

Shepard inwardly sighed. "I'll see if we can swing by Tuchanka." She walked over and patted his shoulder. "No hard feelings. Wrex?"

"Stop being so gullible," he said harshly, shrugged out from under her hand and lumbered away across the garage, shotgun clasped to his chest.

Shepard sighed, exasperated, heading for the elevator once more as Kaidan appeared, carrying a container of tech awkwardly. He paused when he saw her, those dark eyes holding hers as she moved into the elevator and he followed silently.

She pressed the button on the lift, folding her arms as she tapped her foot lightly.

"Everything ok?" He asked at last and she cast him a sidelong glance.

"How do you mean?"

He smiled, rearranging the box in his grip "I heard raised voices." He said.

"They think this mission is a goose chase." She muttered "Not sure I disagree. But orders are orders."

Kaidan nodded solemnly "I suppose you're on thin ice as it is after the Citadel, even with Anderson as Councillor now you have to watch your step Shepard."

She smiled, rolling her eyes "He hates me for that one."

Kaidan chuckled "No." He said sincerely "He loves you." He looked as though he was going to say more and Shepard braced herself for the emotion she knew it would stir but he didn't. Instead he closed his mouth and looked at the doors quietly.

Abigail watched him quietly, remembering with sudden intensity the way his mouth felt against hers. From where she stood she could smell his cologne and knew how damned inappropriate she was being as she fought against the urge to close her eyes. Their time together had been short and sweet and magical, but it was doomed from the start because her heart belonged elsewhere.

"I miss you." He said, his eyes still forward and she almost swallowed her tongue as she turned her head to look at him.

"Kaidan…"

"It's ok." He said, nodding and he did glance at her then, smiling "I just want you to know that Abby."

He didn't say anything more as the elevator doors opened, just stepped out and stepped away and she thought about going after him, but it would be wrong. She had more pressing issues to worry about now she had an angry Krogan on board, she could think about Kaidan and Hobbs later. Now was not the time.

Just as she started past the galaxy map there was a wave of commotion from the deck and the Normandy rocked, once – hard and angry – to the point she had to steady herself on one of the CIC stations.

"What the hell was that?" She barked, to no one in particular, and no one seemed to have an answer as crew began to scramble over consoles, working furiously. There was a rumble and an explosion that she felt down to her marrow as she turned back toward the noise.

"We're getting ripped to shreds!" One of the officers shouted and Abigail moved him aside, looking at the console he worked on. It was true, the ship's barriers were failing, the shields were down and the hull was punched with holes. She shook her head – unable to think momentarily as she turned sharply, pressing the comm button at the galaxy map.

"Everyone get to the evac shuttles now!"

The ship shook and explosions erupted throughout her. Shepard watched in horror as part of the hull was ripped asunder, a huge, yellow beam searing through the hull of the _Normandy _like it was made of tin not reinforced metal. The shields had already failed. Alarm klaxons blared and lurid red lights flickered as the back-up generator failed to produce enough power.

She was moving, not really sure where she was going as she headed instinctively for her locker knowing she had to get into her armour and fast.

Encased in armor from head to toe, an N7 helmet pulled over the face, Shepard lurched back up the staircase toward the CIC deck. There were more explosions and screams and the screech of metal being shredded. The _Normandy _was being ripped apart!

The doors slowly opened to a scene of such destruction and turmoil, for a moment, Shepard was rooted to the spot in horror. Bodies were sprawled on the deck; seats were torn from their moorings. More of the huge beams knifed through the ceiling and the gravity of the planet the ship orbited tugged them loose. Half of the ship was flotsam now.

Eyes strained through the slit on the helmet and caught sight of a figure racing up the stairs to the next level.

"Kaidan!"

Alenko swung around. "Shepard!" His eyes widened and he dove across the space that separated them and took her down to the deck as another beam sliced through the metal skin of the ship. For a dazed moment, she lay sprawled in his arms, glancing above. There were stars and the haze of the atmosphere of the planet and first sighting of the ship that had attacked the _Normandy_. Not geth. Nothing like any ship she'd ever seen.

She got shakily to her feet and helped Kaidan up, searching his body for injuries, but his armor had protected him. "What are you doing here?" She used her no-nonsense commander voice. "I need you to get the crew to evac the ship."

"What's going on Shepard?" He frowned and she pushed him back, attempting to get him to move toward the evac shuttles.

"I don't know!" She cried pulling him round toward the shuttles "We're under attack!"

Kaidan moved "Do you think the Alliance will come?" He asked her and she laughed.

"They better." She warned, and Kaidan paused, grabbing her arm to halt her.

"Joker won't leave." Kaidan said "I'm not going either."

Shepard shook her head "Kaidan get everyone on the shuttles and get moving – I'll go back for Joker."

He reached for her as she turned, catching her wrist and she shook her head at him "That was an order lieutenant." She said firmly drawing her hand back and slowly he nodded, turning and heading in the opposite direction from her.

Foster felt his heart lurch in his chest. The ship was breaking apart! He looked up and saw pieces of her floating into the deep ink of space. Suddenly, he felt lightheaded and dizzy and he turned up the oxygen level in his suit. There was an explosion from one of the consoles as he made his way towards the cockpit, shoving floating debris out of his way.

A figure in white armor charged down the walkway and they collided with brutal force, slamming into each other.

"Corporal, to the evac capsules! Shepard wants the crew to abandon ship."

Foster met a pair of brown eyes behind the white helmet. Stinko had taken to wearing white armor—was it symbolic, like he was Shepard's white knight or something? "Where's Shepard?"

"She's in the cockpit. Joker wouldn't leave."

"And you left her alone?!"

Foster started forward and Kaidan blocked him. "I just gave you an order, Mister."

"Sir, you can court-martial me, but you can stick your order up your white-armored ass! I'm not leaving my brother's girl to face this alone! Commander or not! Hobbs would kill me and…and she's my friend!"

"Corporal…" Kaidan warned, but Foster shoved him out of the way. Kaidan loosed a small wave of biotics and watched the younger man compelled by the blue-white wave knock into the bulkhead. When he came down, Foster lay still on the deck. Kaidan shook his head and picked him up, hoisting him over his shoulders. "Sorry, kid," he rasped and trudged to the evac. He tossed Foster into a seat and made sure he was buckled in with crash webbing.

She could only hear breathing in the helmet as she slowly passed floating cables and chairs, finally reaching the cockpit. Joker was at the controls, hands flying, unlike his legs that prevented him from leaving his seat. Well, that, she amended, and his stubbornness.

"Joker, we have to go."

"No, I can still save her!" His green eyes behind the clear oxygen mask were determined.

"The _Normandy's _lost. I won't lose my best pilot, too!"

"Yeah, all right." He allowed her to pull him from his seat and she knew she broke some bones in the process, but her goal was to get him off the ship alive. Broken bones could be mended.

"They're coming around for another attack!" he shouted as she shoved him through the escape hatch into the pod. "Commander!" His eyes widened.

A gigantic beam cut into the cockpit and Alchera's gravity exerted its pull on Shepard's body, helped by an explosion that broke her hold on the escape hatch. She managed to strike the button that closed the hatch, hearing Joker shout her name.

Another explosion rocked the cockpit, tearing struts and the entire front of the ship apart. Shepard became a piece of the flotsam, her body twisting, air escaping from holes in her suit.

* * *

Hobbs checked his scope, training it along the fortified wall of the batarian base. He smiled as he caught sight of a target, holding his breath as his finger rested on the trigger, squeezing gently. The silencer swallowed the shot, but he watched through the scope as the batarian slavers head caved in, brain matter splattering backwards from the blast and the body crumpled beyond his vision behind the wall.

He commando-crawled closer through the dried grass pausing as a sudden sinking feeling came over him. He frowned, glancing to the sky where two suns blazed through the atmosphere. He wished he could wipe his forehead as sweat trickled down inside his helmet. The feeling persisted and he glanced the terrain around him, there was nothing except an expanse of dried grass and the great walls and fences of the facility he was infiltrating.

No immediate danger.

So why was his body telling him otherwise.

"Operative." The voice came through the speaker of his helmet and he flinched, sighing as he pressed his head to the ground.

"I said to keep the line quiet." He said back, his tone annoyed.

"You're going to want to come back here Hobbs." The voice pressed and his eyes opened to blackness, his face too close to the ground to make out anything clearly "Now."

* * *

The stars blurred in and out of his vision as the evac shuttle sped along its course to the planet Alchera. Stars and the planet's moons were distinguishable from one another only by color and they winked in and out of view so quickly there wasn't time to see any one in particular. They painted a kind of gray, bright canvas in front of Kaidan's half-lidded eyes; he was deep in thought but he could still make out the universe whipping by like a pale, twinkling streamer.

He had never felt so helpless in his entire life, not even on Virmire when he'd wanted to convince Shepard to choose to save Ash's life and not his. He closed his eyes, keeping tears at bay. Sometimes he wished she'd let him die on Virmire; it was preferable to the slow death he experienced every time he saw her and Hobbs together.

_I love you, Abigail. We could've had a good life together._

Outside, the streaks of pale starlight were condensing into a more understandable collection of shapes, among them flaming pieces of the _Normandy_. Kaidan could make out a distant planet and its smattering of small moons, like a gathering of listening children. The moons were tinged blue and black. The planet they orbited was an ever-moving mass of dark, purplish clouds. He pressed his omni-tool for a reading of the planet: Surface temp -22°C.

The weight of command settled heavily upon him. He was in charge; he was responsible for the crew until Shepard appeared to save the day as she always did. Oh, God, how many of them were even still alive? _God, Shepard, how did you do this? Responsible for so many lives!_

Foster awoke with a splitting headache and a sour, dry mouth. He sat up slowly, cradling his pounding skull, and gasped when he saw the state of his hands. His knuckles were torn and bloody, the blood congealing in thick, black scabs down his fingers. A deep, numbing pain radiated from them and for a moment he couldn't remember how it had happened. Then he recalled Alenko and being slammed by a wall of biotic energy. He'd been… He tried to think. He'd been on his way to get Abs. Abs! Where was she?

Fear, like a rising sickness, constricted his throat.

There was a soft moan and Kaidan turned to find a pair of hostile blue eyes fastened on him. Foster sat up straighter, straining against the crash netting. He clenched his fists.

"You cold-cocked me, you dick!"

"Corporal!"

"If anything happened to her, I swear I'll end you!"

"Save it for later." Kaidan saw accusation in his eyes and gestured as the ground rushed up to meet the shuttle. "Better brace. This could be rough."

_Rough?_ Foster dug his fingers into the arms of the seat as the shuttle was hammered as it passed through the wide ion rings. If they weren't so dangerous, Foster would have considered them beautiful as rainbow prisms caused by ice rings clung to the ion and embraced the _Normandy's_ rubble. Pieces of the ship sparkled as if coated with crystals.

"Initializing thrusters," the shuttle VI announced. For a moment, Foster worried that it would rattle apart as they entered the planet's atmosphere. He loved flying, but he hated the terrible, bone breaking violence of this entry. He shut his eyes.

This landing was unlike any other he'd experienced. They hit atmo and he could almost feel heat burning through the shuttle's skin. Where was the hull's protection? Why were they coming in so hot? Too fast. They weren't landing so much as plummeting. If the VI didn't compensate, their angle would be too shallow or too steep and they'd fry before they ever reached ground.

"I got it," he ground out through bared teeth. "Let me fly this piece of junk." He wrestled control from the VI and adjusted the angle of descent.

"I see wreckage." Alenko's voice was quiet compared to the rattling of the shuttle.

"No shit." Foster dodged a huge piece he recognized as a stairway and tried to aim toward the largest piece of _Normandy_ below.

Pieces Foster recognized—and some he didn't—tried to slam into the shuttle. He dodged most; felt the impact of the rest. Fortunately they were pieces of the ship and he was almost glad he didn't see bodies or body parts. That _could_ mean other shuttles had landed and crew had survived.

He'd seen the temp on Alenko's omni tool and knew the temp was way below freezing. The burning debris field spread across the landscape told another story. The falling snow and frozen ground would soon change that. They'd have to dig through ice as burning debris melted snow and it re-froze, encasing whatever was inside.

"What the hell did you do to this thing?" He groused to the VI. "No steering. Damn." He glanced at Alenko just before the shuttle slammed into a field of snow several meters from a rock formation. "Hold onto your balls!"

The impact pressed him into his seat and he wondered if every bone in his body was broken. As he recovered from the impact, he assessed his body and was grateful he'd survived relatively unscathed. The shuttle, however, hadn't been so lucky. A chunk of _Normandy_ had bit a gaping wound in its side.

The Alliance shuttle was equipped with environmental suits for any climate. Foster quickly replaced his shredded gloves with a fresh pair as Kaidan pulled one of the eco suits from underneath his seat and tossed it to Foster.

"If you're going out there, disobeying my direct order not to, at least don't freeze to death." Alenko didn't sound happy.

Foster unfastened the pieces of his battered armor and pulled on the suit. He closed the suit and lumbered through the gouge in the shuttle's side. _Normandy _had opened the hole and impact with the planet had ripped it wider.

Freezing rain and snow blinded him as he fought gale-force winds. Rain? Then he realized burning debris had melted snow and thrown it high into the air. As it drifted down, some was still liquid. It froze as it fell, fogging his helmet. He checked readings for the largest piece of _Normandy _and headed toward it. It was hard to stay upright, especially in the cumbersome suit. Walking was even more difficult because he was on a frozen mesa full of deep craters he hadn't seen from the air. And each damn crater was full of snow. It was like slogging through frozen mud. He relied on his helmet HUD to keep from falling and being trapped in deep snow dunes.

"Nothing like helping with the search," he muttered in Alenko's direction.

_Jeez. Could anybody survive this? Hope you guys were as lucky as I was._

This planet was nothing but a solidified chunk of ice. A light grey sky above was filled with a whirling vortex of snow. Gusts of wind shoved him and eager icy fingers tore at the suit, seeking entrance so the cold could sneak in and freeze him.

Foster attempted to make contact with any others in the crew, but there was only the howling of the wind. He could hear it even through the helmet. He looked back and realized his footprints leading from the shuttle were gone, obliterated by the snow.

His danger sense kicked in and he instantly looked up just as a huge piece of the garage crashed within yards of where he was standing. He'd managed to dodge the garage, and as he tumbled down a ridge, he caught sight of the Mako, jets thrusting, as it shot out of the gaping maw. The ground trembled and he heard a horrendous _boom!_ as the Mako landed, jolted forward a few feet and skidded sideways. It came to a stop when it plowed into a deep snow drift.

The thrusting jets meant somebody was aboard. Foster moved as fast as he could through thigh-high snow. The Mako's door slid open and two figures jumped out.

"You drive worse than Shepard!" Foster heard the shout as he covered the frozen ground between them and gathered the pair to him the best he could. He hugged one around the neck and pounded on the other's shoulder, unable to control his relief and excitement.

"Garrus! Wrex!"

The turian, unashamed, returned the hug and Wrex slapped Foster on the back.

Garrus disengaged from Foster, who just couldn't stop hugging him, to extend a hand to the door where someone else stood.

Foster grinned up at her. "Dr. Chakwas!"

She smiled and accepted his help getting down.

"Fos? Oh, Fos! Thank the goddess you're alive!"

Liara jumped down and ran into Foster's arms. He wrapped them around her and held her until she began to shiver.

She was only dressed in her normal clothes, which did not shield her from the bitter cold. She was, however, wearing a clear mask that provided the necessary oxygen.

Foster pointed back the way he'd come and saw a figure stumbling toward them through the snow. His mouth tightened. He took Liara by the arm and led her to Kaidan, who was just topping a hill. "Mind taking Liara and Dr. Chakwas to the shuttle?"

Kaidan's heavy sigh could be heard through his helmet. "Come with me, ladies. Wrex, Garrus, you're welcome, too. I sealed off the damage to the shuttle and it'll keep out the cold."

The turian and krogan shook their heads. "Why aren't you out here looking for Shepard?" Garrus asked.

Kaidan winced at the accusation in the turian's voice. It was a valid question. Why wasn't he? How could he tell them that his gut told him Shepard hadn't made it? That he felt lost and diminished and unable to take command the way he knew he needed to? That he was drained of all energy and hope? That he was a broken shell of a man? That he couldn't cope?

"Never mind him," Foster said sharply. "We'll find her. Take the ladies to safety."

The trio trudged away and Kaidan watched them go, feeling incredibly guilty at his lack of ability. She was gone. He knew it—something in him had died with her. He saw another evac shuttle break the atmosphere and knew it was the last one. His omni-tool confirmed it. If Shepard was alive, she would be in this one. He saw Foster point and start to run as the capsule crashed into the ground, spun, and slid wildly across a plateau of ice before coming to a jolting halt.

"Come on," Kaidan said wearily. _Abigail, I know…somehow I know…you're gone. Can he feel it, too? Was a part of his soul ripped out of him the moment you were gone? Ah, Abigail! It sinks into my bones! It…hurts!_

Foster approached the shuttle warily. It was still steaming from its journey through the atmosphere. Garrus checked his omni-tool and nodded. "This is the one closest to the cockpit."

As they neared the shuttle, Foster had told his friends what had transpired between him and Kaidan. It was so cold that sheets of ice covered the shuttle before they reached it. When they couldn't get the door to move, Wrex used brute strength to wrench it open.

A limp figure was all they saw—pain-filled green eyes met theirs.

"Joker!" Garrus reached inside to help the pilot out and he yelped in pain and pulled back.

"Arm's broken," he gasped. Tears formed ice trails down his cheeks.

"Where's Shepard?" Foster asked. "She was on her way to get you."

"Kid," Garrus said gently.

Foster shook off Garrus' hand on his shoulder and pushed inside the shuttle, confronting Joker. "Why the fuck didn't you leave?!"

Joker broke into sobs. "Because I thought I could save her…save the-the _Normandy_!" He buried his face in his hands. "It's my fault."

"What happened to her? Tell me!"

Finally, Joker jerked his head up and shouted, "She was spaced! She got me inside the shuttle and then a beam sliced into the cockpit and there was a big explosion and she-she lost her grip." He keened deeply in his throat. "It's all my fault!"

Foster backed out of the shuttle and found he couldn't stand. He collapsed in the snow, fought for control, then lost it. Garrus and Wrex crouched beside him, hands on his shoulders, heads bowed in grief. The only sounds were the howling wind and the cries of a young man in the worst pain of his life.

* * *

Hobbs watched from the back of the hall as Ambassador Udina spoke in a monotone drawl about Commander Shepard. He had arrived late to the ceremony having just disembarked from the shuttle returning him to the Citadel, but from his vantage point he could pick out the crew among the crowd. They were all wedged near the front where they had a coffin sitting encumbered with a great wreath of white flowers and to save disturbing proceedings he had decided to hang back out of sight.

Udina spoke of Shepard's accomplishments early on in Biotics training, he spoke of her Star of Terra and her heroics on Elysium, he spoke of her dedication to the Alliance and the 'Cause' whatever that shifty, weightless word meant.

He didn't talk about the things that mattered though, Hobbs thought grimly. He missed out that Abigail Shepard had a way of lighting a room like a sun when it rose over a horizon, he missed out that her smile could melt even a krogan to the core. That she hated white flowers – in fact red, he recalled, was her favourite colour. That she had far too many sugars in her coffee and then spent most of the morning hyper; that she always carried chocolate in her combats and would never ever share it if you asked; that she spoke in her sleep – usually about food, or if it was a bad night about Mindoir and when she woke she would tremble and shake until you pressed the memories out of her with kisses.

He didn't talk about how softly she kissed or how perfectly she fit into Hobb's arms.

He didn't talk about how much she was loved.

Hobbs couldn't think. Couldn't breathe. He should never have come here – but he was hoping… hoping what? Hoping it was a lie? That she would have been waiting behind the door, jumping out at him to shout 'surprise!'? That he would be able to look at an empty coffin and somehow find divine purpose in the fact that her heart wasn't beating and his still was?

No. He should have never come. This wasn't a memorial for the woman he loved, this was Commander Shepard's memorial for people who had seen the campaigns, read the mission reports, to put their minds at ease that a soldier who had fought so hard to save them all had given her life in the line of duty. It was false; draining and held nothing of Abigail in it – nothing to give him any peace.

As it came to an end, and they unveiled the plans to erect a monument in her dedication Hobbs choked back on his anger, on the blatant disrespect for her memory and all she was – she would have hated a monument, she had trouble with a recruitment poster never mind a monument. He smiled at the bittersweet memory, the noise and bustle of the hospital and Abigail standing in front of him her world ending because they had issued recruitment posters of her showing a bit of cleavage, and she had hated them hadn't she? And they had laughed about it – and he had secretly carried a folded copy of it everywhere with him since.

That was the last time he had seen her and it weighed in heavily, he should have told her then – told her the things he wanted so desperately to say to her now.

"You're here!" The voice was Foster's and he raised his eyes to see his brother making his way toward him. He looked distraught, beaten and lost and Hobbs pulled him to him without a word holding him tightly. Foster shook against him, sobbing quietly and the raw emotion tugged hard somewhere in Hobbs' chest as he ground his teeth blinking back tears as other members of the crew headed toward him.

"I'm so sorry Socks." Foster wept and Hobbs shook his head, unable to speak for fear his voice would give out and he wouldn't be able to stop if he started. "I tried to go back for her!" Foster insisted and he pulled back, blue eyes swimming with tears as he looked up at his big brother "I tried to go back and get her I swear!"

Carefully Hobbs swallowed "It wasn't your fault." He said numbly and his brother curled against him once more.

"I'm glad you came." Garrus said, his two tone voice soft as he reached a hand to Foster's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. Foster took a step back wiping his face, glancing to the turian gratefully and then back to Hobbs.

"Did everyone else make it out?" Hobbs asked, the questions were blunt and hollow, evasive and he knew it himself, knew he was sinking as he struggled to stay above the sea of grief.

"Most." Garrus said gently "Pressly didn't make it. A few of the engineering staff." He glanced away and Hobbs could tell the pain was strong for the turian.

"Did… did anyone see her?" He asked, and his voice wavered as he spoke this time, the emotion quaking to the surface as his eyes swam with tears "Did anyone see what happened?"

Garrus shook his head solemnly "Joker, he's… not taking it well. He was badly injured from the evac shuttle, otherwise he would have been here."

Hobbs nodded, drawing back his bottom lip as he sniffed hard, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand "I should have been there." He said resolutely.

"Wouldn't have made a difference." Wrex said as he approached with Alenko in tow, Hobbs noticed that most of the guests had left and the cleaners were in stacking the chairs and removing the wreaths and pictures that had been set up for the ceremony.

"No." Kaidan said gently, pushing his hands into his pockets "It wouldn't have made a difference."

Hobbs bristled, pent up emotion turning to anger as he looked at the lieutenant "I see you managed to get to a shuttle though." He said cooly and Alenko frowned, sweeping his gaze over the others before he shook his head.

"I was ordered to go to a shuttle." He bit off "I followed orders. Don't even start Hobbs. You weren't even there."

"But you were!" Hobbs cried suddenly, the abrupt volume making Foster flinch beside him "You! The man who supposedly loved her was there and you _left_ her behind!"

"Nobody left her behind!" Kaidan retorted hotly, taking a menacing step toward him and Garrus stepped to the side of him, placing a careful, taloned hand on his shoulder. "Shepard ordered us to abandon ship – she _chose_ to go back for Joker. She gave her life trying to ensure her crew got off safely."

Hobbs nodded as tears spilled down his face, the sudden sight making Foster reach for him but he batted his brothers hands away "You can dress it up how you want Alenko." He said coldly "Whatever helps you sleep at night – but the fact remains that she was left behind. She died alone – probably terrified – and not one of you did anything to prevent it."

"How dare you!" Kaidan stormed, and he was moving toward Hobbs angrily, Garrus gripped the shoulder of his dress blues trying to haul him back and Foster jumped in front of him shaking his head wildly.

"Stop it!" He cried "He didn't mean it Alenko!"

Kaidan's eyes glowed a ferocious blue as he strained against Garrus' grip "You come here acting like you were the only one that cared about her!" Kaidan shouted as tears began to spill down his cheeks "You think you could have done anything different?!"

It was Hobbs' turn to get angry now as he wrenched off the wall he had been leaning against "I would never have left her!" He shouted "I would have been in front of her or by her side, never behind!"

"You were behind!" Kaidan screamed "You weren't there!"

"Enough!" Garrus cried and he attempted to haul Kaidan back but lost his grip and the lieutenant flew for Hobbs in a fit of rage. He crashed against him, gathering the red sweatshirt that held so much meaning for Hobbs in both hands as he shook him angrily.

"Abigail had few regrets in her life Hobbs!" He ground out "But she shared a few with me, and you – you were the top of the list."

"You had better back up out of my face Alenko." Hobbs warned, holding the seething gaze of the lieutenant seriously.

This time Wrex stepped in, pulling them roughly apart and Foster placed himself carefully in front of his brother, his hands landing firmly on his shoulders as he attempted to get the man to look at him and not Kaidan.

"You stupid pyjaks." Wrex rumbled "This is not a competition to see who hurts the most. You want to start something you better be prepared to deal with an 800 pound krogan because I will kick both of you into line if it doesn't stop."

"I'm not leaving her behind." Hobbs said resolutely "I'm going to find her and bring her home." He didn't wait for the response, pulling back from his brother he strode toward the exit and had almost reached it when he heard Foster's heavy footsteps running after him.

"Wait!" His brother cried "I'll come with you – we can do this together!"

"No." Hobbs said, turning abruptly to face him "You can't. You're Alliance. You would be AWOL."

Foster frowned, stung, blue eyes looking at him pleadingly "But you're Alliance too." He insisted.

Hobbs shook his head, placing a hand on his shoulder "Listen to me Beer." He said carefully "I shouldn't…" He swallowed, wiping his eyes angrily as tears threatened once more "The Alliance are preparing to recall everyone that was on the Normandy." He said quietly. He could see his brother's frown, the confusion on his face and pressed a finger to his own lips signalling this was classified information "I've seen it before. They're preparing to discredit everything Shepard worked hard to achieve – they want more territories, more leverage with the new seat on the council and the price is forgetting about the Reapers and everything Abigail tried to show them." He shook his head "You can't go AWOL. They'll hunt you down."

"What about you?" Foster urged and Hobbs shook his head.

"They'll hunt me down too, but I can't risk losing you Beer, I'm supposed to protect you."

"Bullshit!" Foster cried "Socks, you can't protect me all the time! You can't protect everyone!"

Hobbs frowned, stung as he narrowed his eyes "What is that supposed to mean?" He asked, blue-green eyes brimming with tears as he shook his head "You mean Tempy right? I didn't protect Tempy?"

"No." Foster insisted "That's not what I meant!"

But Hobbs wasn't listening, pulling back from his brother he held him at arm's length "I'm sorry Foster." He said brokenly "I'm sorry I wasn't there."

"I didn't mean it like that." Foster said again grabbing for him "We can work this out, somehow we can get them to see-"

"No." Hobbs said firmly, and he grabbed his brother into a hug "No, they won't see Beer. I have to do this alone." He pressed a kiss to his head gently "Don't look for me."

With that he broke the embrace, pushing back and turning quickly as he ran for the exit. He could hear Foster call after him – but he kept running, slamming into the elevator before his brother could catch up to him.

As the doors slid closed Hobbs could feel himself sinking once again, could feel the waves come crashing overhead as he bounced from one foot to the other. He wanted to be back in the gym suddenly, he wanted to hit something and in the absence of all he had come to depend on he sank to his knees in the elevator and at long last he wept.


	27. Chapter 27

Title: Mass Effect Two Chapter Two  
Author: DinkyMew and JagesPages  
Game: Mass Effect (Two)  
Disclaimer: Bioware own all content and characters related to the Mass Effect franchise. Abigail Shepard is my own creation inspired by the character of Jane Shepard created by Bioware. Any original characters contained herein are my own creations (with the exception of Vindex Foster who is the sole property of Julie Jones and the Swagger Vasa Chronicles) and are not necessarily affiliated with Bioware. **You may not copy, edit or distribute this fanfiction as it stands without my expressed permission – thank you**

* * *

"**Awakening"**

_She was falling. _

_Ahead of her the Normandy billowed and smoked as a cacophony of explosions rocked the wreckage and somehow she saw the shuttle breaking from the mass like a shooting star carrying her only wish to the planet below. _

_She took a sharp breath, knowing it would be one of her last with a sense of calm foreboding as she spread her fingers raising them in front of her mask to peer through them like black pillars at the planet below her. It was like looking up from under water, she thought, like she had been cast into the deep, dark sea._

_Her breath whistled out of her, the sound of her heart loud in her ears as she swallowed, wondering how peaceful it seemed in the deep and then she closed her eyes, terrified that the black ink of space would be the last thing she saw._

_She thought of Virmire, of Ashley lying in her arms, her hand clasped in her own as Hobbs had soothed her quietly._

"_Think of the good times," He had said so gently "It'll start to get warm. It'll slide over you."_

_She crushed her eyes closed as the air began to thin, her hands grasping at nothing suddenly as a slow panic seized her. _

_I don't want to die alone, she thought as tears brushed her cheeks. It seemed hard to find faith in such blackness and she felt herself sinking as she clawed for the surface, for life. _

_It was a heavy choice to make and she let a gentle sob escape as she looked back for the Normandy, hoping in vain that she would see her Paladin coming for her – but there was only the smoking wreck as it slowly sank toward the planet. _

_She closed her eyes as she tried to draw another breath and came back with nothing – her hands instinctively moved to her throat but they stopped short, caught by someone else's as warm fingers wrapped around her cold ones. She opened her eyes and he was there, green-blue eyes twinkling mischievously as he drew her down on the bed beside him. _

"_Where do you think you're going?" He asked her, his hands grounding her hips against his as he kissed her cheek._

_She smiled, leaning her head on his chest, listening to the heavy beat of his heart "I don't want to give up." She said quietly and he shushed her. _

"_You're not giving up Tempy." He smiled "Just giving in. Sleep." He kissed her forehead gently._

"_Don't let me go." She begged and his arms tightened around her as her lungs began to burn angrily. _

_Funny you're the broken one but I'm the only one who needed saving._

_She smiled as the music carried her to sleep, finally safe in his arms._

* * *

_Shepard twisted the sleeve of her hooded jacket, watching as the Officer took a seat on the other side of the desk from her. He made a show of organising the clutter, moving a datapad here, glancing to his console. The crisp white of his collar dug into his throat and he finally looked at her, black eyes unreadable as he ticked his gaze over her._

"_Shepard." He said at length "You know why you've been brought in?"_

_She hesitated. She figured it had a lot to do with the fact she shot Hobbs in simulation, but she couldn't be sure, he certainly didn't look angry. Slowly she shook her head._

"_We have been asked to choose our best." He said calmly "A team is being put together in special operations, top secret – and we have been asked to select the best we have here. There is one spot left open and apparently you are the girl to fit it."_

_She swallowed, affronted by his use of the word 'girl' but she didn't let it show, her brow creased into a disbelieving frown "Me?" She asked dubiously._

"_You." He nodded, his tone almost matching her own "Seems you have friends – or family – in high places."_

_Shepard shook her head "Who else has been selected?" She asked._

"_Most from your squad, Bahasa, Jones, Taylor – you." He tapped the console "You are due to leave in a week. You finish training here and they will be launching you directly into a mission." _

_She took that in watching his face carefully before she asked "What about Hobbs?"_

"_What about him?" Officer Prately asked raising a hard eyebrow "He'll be shipped to the marine corp."_

_Shepard sank in her chair, shaking her head "With all due respect sir, he should have that last spot on the team." She said in a rush and Prately's eyes widened as he looked at her sharply, she sat forward a little, frustration rushing to her surface as she dropped her gaze "He's the best here. You know it. I know it. I've seen him fight in the pits – I know that's why he's overlooked – but that is exactly the man you need in spec ops." She argued "I refuse my place. I want to defer it to him."_

_There was a long silence and she withdrew a little realising her outburst could have serious consequences a little late as she dropped her gaze submissively._

"_You would do that?" Prately asked, and she looked back to him holding his gaze "You would do that for another solider?"_

_Shepard smiled, her voice full of unexaggerated confidence as she raised her chin "I believe Hobbins has what it takes to make Special Operations." She said firmly._

"_It would mean you would be shipped to Biotic division." He said in warning and she moved her shoulders._

"_That's fine. I'm not scared of hard work sir." She said seriously "He deserves the chance."_

_Prately shook his head, tapping the console again "You are lucky I know your guardian." He said quietly "Anderson is a good man, he speaks highly of you. Of your intelligence." He paused "Consider it done Shepard. You ship out with the Biotics at the end of the week." He got to his feet offering a salute and she returned it happily "Dismissed."_

"_I'll be back soon." _

_She pushed out her bottom lip and he kissed it with a smile, reaching a hand around to grab her backside through her jeans. She laughed, pushing him back roughly and Hobbs grinned moving back to her like the predatory animal he was, he pulled her to him, landing a suggestive kiss on her neck as he held her a moment longer before letting her go. _

"_Come on, you two make me sick." Crow complained, loading their duffel bags into the shuttle with stiff heavy throws. _

_Abigail smiled, they all looked good in their black armour, the special ops logo emblazoned on the shoulder. It faded as she saw Taylor make her way toward the shuttle, somehow the armour only made her look more beautiful as she flicked blonde hair over her shoulder – pulling it back into a bun before she climbed inside the shuttle organising the bags for space._

_Hobbs didn't seem to notice the change in her expression though and moved to help Crow load up._

"_Such a shame you can't come Abs." Taylor said from where she knelt, hazel eyes caught hers and Abigail felt herself flush with heat as she moved her shoulders._

"_It's ok." She smiled weakly "You guys are going to rock." _

"_Hell yeah we are!" Hobbs cried, throwing the last of the bags onto the shuttle before he climbed inside, leaning over the seat to check the controls and dash "Crow, you still ok to fly this thing? Because I've only done that once."_

_Crow chuckled, stepping onto the shuttle and dropping into the pilot seat "I can fly this in my sleep." He said grinning. _

"_Boys." Taylor said, moving behind Hobbs and draping an arm over his shoulder as she leaned into them both "I'm the pilot here."_

_Abigail bristled, closing her eyes as they three of them laughed and joked, turning just as JJ made her way from the facility restroom._

"_It fits!" She cried, a wild grin on her beautiful face as she pulled her strawberry blonde hair back and tied it in place "What do you think?"_

_Abby gave her a once over and nodded her tone faltering as she smiled weakly "Yeah. You look great JJ." She whispered. _

_Sensing her distress JJ pushed her hands into her hips, her gaze sliding from Abigail to the shuttle where Taylor still had her arm over Hobbs' shoulders. She didn't have to ask her friend to know what was bothering her and she cracked her knuckles through the black gloves. _

"_Don't worry Abby." She said quietly "I've got your six. Don't let it get to you."_

_Abigail shook her head feigning ignorance "Let what get to me?"_

_JJ's blue eyes twinkled knowingly and she smiled, the light dusting of freckles on her cheeks stretching as she shook her head "I'll keep an eye on her." She said firmly and Abby looked away awkwardly._

"_I'm being stupid." She said quietly "I just wish I could be going with you guys."_

"_Make way!" Hobbs cried coming between them suddenly "Hot stud needing lovin'." He grinned pulling Abigail to him once more and she laughed as he kissed her deeply "I'm going to miss you Tempy." He said seriously and JJ smiled, squeezing her shoulder before she got into the shuttle "Give's a kiss like you mean it." He whispered and she shook her head._

"_You had better stay safe." She complained, smoothing her hands down the front of his armour "And… remember I'm waiting for you." She added "Don't forget about me."_

_His smile widened "Not ever." He promised, kissing her gently, and then he let her go climbing back into the shuttle as the door was closed behind him. Shepard took a few steps back, wrapping her arms around herself as she watched the shuttle take off taking her world with it. _

* * *

And then there were thoughts.

Like someone had opened a floodgate, or tripped a switch, and shone a light inside her head. Fragments of memory bumped and collided like hot shrapnel, faces and names and events all swirling into a mass as Shepard sucked a breath into her lungs.

"Commander?" The voice was female, distant and she frowned, her hearing was dull and fuzzy, like her head was underwater and suddenly she remembered the black – of floating into space – the pain that had ripped through her as she had tried to breathe and found nothing.

She sucked in another breath as her heart began to hammer against her ribs.

With effort she opened her eyes, the lids feeling like they were weighed down and the ceiling swirled and shifted above her.

"Commander Shepard, I need you to get up." The voice was back, a little clearer this time and she blinked, her vision slowly focusing as she gazed ahead at horrible strip lighting. She was in the medbay, she thought quickly, and then remembered the Normandy had blown up – she had seen it. She had _felt_ it.

"Commander your scars are not healed yet but I need you to get up, this facility is under attack."

As the voice spoke there was a noise – a far off explosion that made the table she was on rock and she flattened her palms against it steadying herself as she jostled a little.

Groaning she pushed against the cool steel, forcing her muscles to move against their will as she sat up painfully. Her chest ached mournfully and she pressed a hand there, glancing around the room for the owner of the voice.

It was empty, a lab of some sort – probably an Alliance medical room she thought and slowly swung her legs around the side of the table. Gently she pressed bare toes to the cold floor – she thought of linoleum, but it was harder than that, colder too and gently pressed weight onto the balls of her feet.

They held – which surprised her – but she could ask those questions later as she slipped off the table carefully, still holding onto its edge for fear she would topple.

"Commander Shepard there is armour and a gun in the locker in the corner. I need you to get changed and arm yourself before they find you." That voice was back and Shepard frowned, wondering if it was in her head and then she heard the low hum and mechanical whir as a camera moved on the wall. She frowned at it – was someone watching her? Was that the voice?

"I need you to move Commander." The voice insisted again. There was an explosion somewhere deep inside the building and Shepard raised her eyes to the door, moving stiffly to the locker in the corner as instructed. She wrenched the door open and sure enough there was armour and a pistol on the top shelf.

With shaking hands she strapped the armour on carefully, grabbing the pistol and cocking it only to be confronted by a flashing monotonous alarm as it showed the chamber was empty. _What the?_ She frowned, looking at the gun closer, apparently they took clips now. _Great_, she thought angrily _how long was I out?_

Holstering the pistol she turned, the sound of gunfire and explosions spurring her to movement, but she didn't want to move rashly, she wanted to avoid combat if she could – until she knew what the hell was going on.

"Go through the door Commander." The voice instructed "At the end of the corridor there is a weapons cabinet you can find thermal clips in there."

Shepard bit the inside of her cheek, she didn't like being moved blindly, but she had little choice at this juncture and so followed the instructions. Beyond the door a long corridor stretched with glass windows on each side showing labs much like the one she had come from – at the end as promised a weapons cabinet waited and Shepard found she was able to run, even under the heavy armour as instinct told her to get armed and fast.

Filling up with clips and pushing some into the large pockets on the legs of her armour Shepard cocked the gun, smiling with satisfaction as the screen flashed green and she readied it as she started through the only door out of the corridor.

"Commander Shepard I need you to proce-" The voice cut off suddenly as the sound of static and white noise interrupted the feed and Abigail frowned, both thankful and distressed that the voice was no longer ordering her around.

She moved carefully but quickly down the corridors, every room looked the same, white and clinical – a locked door to her left but the door on the right swung open and she flinched as a noise behind her caught her attention.

"Commander Shepard?!" A male voice called and she turned back around, staring into the room she had just entered. Hunkered down against glass panelling a man was looking at her as though she were a ghost while across the balcony some kind of robotic mechs fired on him. She moved to him, ducking down behind the plexi-glass beside him. He looked handsome, in that rugged soldier-type way, his features defined and sculpted muscle inside a black and white armour suit.

His dark eyes held hers inquisitively and she frowned "Who are you?"

"My name is Jacob Taylor." He said shakily "I didn't expect to see you up and about. Things must be bad if Miranda chose to wake you up now."

"Who?" Shepard frowned and then winced at the pain it brought "Where am I?"

He smiled, almost apologetically and she felt anger flare in her guts "We can answer these questions once we get out of here." He said "We need to deal with these mechs first."

Shepard frowned, frustration choking her words as she slammed the gun into the holster at her hip and wrenched to her feet. Without really thinking about it she threw out a blast of biotic energy, the rush of adrenaline threatening to overwhelm her as the power roared out of her like a freight train slamming into the mechs at the other side sending them jarring and sparking and exploding against each other.

She blinked, looking at her hands and then looking at Jacob who was still crouched on the floor.

"Whoah." He breathed, pulling himself to his feet slowly.

"Yeah." Shepard agreed, and then the momentary shock left her as she whirled on him "Where the hell am I?" she demanded hotly "The last thing I remember is the Normandy blowing up – where are my crew?"

Jacob raised his hands carefully as he shook his head "Look I can tell you what I know, but I'm not privy to the details Commander." He met the intensity of her blue eyes and his voice quaked a little "The Normandy went down, most of the crew made it out alive – some engineering staff didn't and Navigator Pressly was KIA."

Shepard took that in quickly, her vision darkening as she pressed a hand to the railing – any deaths, no matter the class of the crew member was a death she could have prevented, _should_ have prevented. She was their Commander dammit.

"And the rest of the crew?" She pressed "Foster? Kaidan Alenko? The alien crew members?"

Jacob shook his head "I don't know about them Commander – look if you come with me we can get off this station and I can find someone who can answer that for you."

"What station?" Shepard asked, there was no way she about to just follow this guy because he appeared to be on her side.

"You're on a space station." He said patiently "After the Normandy went down you were brought here and spent a lot of time in a comatose state, they rebuilt you Commander."

Shepard caught her breath "They what?" She asked sharply "Did you just say they rebuilt me? How badly injured was I?"

"Badly." A new voice filled in, female, and Shepard flinched turning as a woman came through the door she had earlier holding a wounded side. She looked to them, her face ashen and distinctive, the blue tattoo of turian design stretching over her cheeks and bridge of her nose. Something about her pulled at a memory and Shepard frowned, she had seen this woman before somewhere.

"I recognise you." Shepard said carefully and the woman nodded, lengths of long dark hair with a contrasting, natural white streak down one side fell over her shoulders.

"I remember you Commander Shepard." She said breathlessly "I was at the hospital following the battle on the Citadel."

_Hobbs_, Shepard thought desperately and she struggled to keep her thoughts from racing as she shook her head.

"You're Alliance." She said bluntly "This is an Alliance project?"

"No." The woman said gently "No Commander. You were in a bad way when we received your body, no expense was spared to bring you back – but it had nothing to do with the Alliance." She shuddered "I worked on the project Commander."

Shepard moved to her "You're injured." She said "Where can I get you seen to?"

"I…" The woman shook her head "There are medigel dispensers in the next room." She suggested.

"What's your name?" Abigail asked.

"Nev." The woman breathed "People call me Nev."

"Alright Nev." Shepard said nodding "You come with me." She turned to Jacob "I don't know you – you come with us you stay in front you get me? I don't want you at my back."

Jacob held up his hands "Sure thing Commander." He said easily "It's this way to the shuttles."

"Lead on." Shepard said firmly.

He gave her a brief smile, as though he had been expecting her to act this way and that unnerved her more than a little. She didn't have time to go through the details now, but something was terribly wrong about this whole thing, she could feel it in her guts.

_Oh god,_ she thought as they pressed into the next room and Nev moved to a medigel dispenser unit _please let my crew be alright, please don't let that part be a lie._

"Jacob!" Another voice sound and Shepard spun her pistol ready as a man lumbered into the room – he was bald and dressed in the same kind of white and black clothing as Nev – a uniform? Somehow it sparked a memory but it was slippery and she couldn't quite grasp on to it long enough.

"Wilson!" Jacob cried and moved to the other man, the exchanged words heatedly but out of her earshot as Shepard kept her eyes carefully training all three of them.

"This way!" Wilson cried suddenly and Jacob was moving after him. Patched up with medigel but still looking pale Nev moved after them and Abigail brought up the rear warily. As they pushed into the next room there was another explosion and the door ahead was blown open with a roar.

Ducking quickly Shepard took cover pulling Nev down with her, but the woman only smiled, opening an omnitool that shifted and changed shape to what almost resembled a crossbow. The sight of it made Abigail think of Hobbs with a sudden pang, he liked to mod omnitools too.

"I know how to fight Commander." She said firmly and Shepard have her a nod of understanding, not really understanding at all what was going on as the sound of gunfire burst into the room.

She glanced over the counter they were ducked behind to see mechs storming into the room, the machines were lithe and tall, made of white plate with black glass faces containing two glowing red rings for eyes.

"What are those things?" She frowned and Nev turned to her.

"They're… or they _were_ security mechs." She said with a shake of her dark head "Normally they're here to protect us, but someone must have rerouted them somehow." She swallowed "I know this is confusing Commander but if we can make it to those shuttle I swear I'll tell you everything."

Shepard frowned, ducking as a bullet whizzed past her "You had better." She said firmly.

She turned, sighting a target and fired, the ease of the pistol was remarkable – and so too was her vision she thought frowning, she had never been such a crack shot before; in fact it was a bit of a running joke that Shepard always fired three times at a target – because the third shot was always the charm.

She was probably paranoid she decided as she shot down the last mech, but she just didn't feel right.

"Alright," It was Jacob getting to his feet as he crouched low and made his way to where Shepard and Nev were taking cover "It's just through these doors." He said dark eyes bright as he inclined his head.

Abigail looked at him seriously, every instinct in her telling her not to trust these guys – the black and white suits, the lab, the fact it wasn't Alliance. Something was going on here and she hated being in the dark about it.

The sound of more mechs rattled down the corridor and Jacob bit off a curse reloading his gun. Snaking low Abigail chanced a glance around the cover to see another squad of mechs marching into the room this time accompanied by what looked like stout mech-dogs made of the same white plate and she frowned shaking her head.

_Now I know I've seen everything, _she thought grimly.

She fired at the mechs, the black glass panels smashing with deadly accuracy and before she could turn on the dogs Nev brought up her omni-crossbow sinking two projectile bolts into their faces. She tucked into a roll, moving out of the way just in time as the jittering mass exploded sending a hail of hot metal spraying around the lab.

Across the room where he had been hiding the whole time Wilson got to his feet and started to hurry through the cleared doorway.

"This way!" He shouted back over his shoulder and Shepard hesitated, her doubts anchoring her feet as she gripped her pistol. Jacob turned back to her, his dark eyebrows rising as he shook his head.

"Commander?"

She blinked at him, getting to her feet slowly as Nev hurried along the corridor after Wilson. Jacob turned, nodding as he jogged after them and Shepard moved swiftly following. By the time she rounded the corner Wilson was hacking a lock on a door, Jacob and Nev standing point guarding his back.

The doors opened with a hiss revealing a dark headed woman in the same black and white attire. She took one look at them raised her pistol and shot Wilson in the face.

Shepard backed up, raising her pistol in defence while simultaneously pushing Nev to cover.

Instead of firing though the newcomer holstered her weapon and raised an eyebrow at Abigail.

"Commander." She said evenly "We finally get to meet."

Jacob stepped into her, his face a picture of paled shock as his wide eyes looked to the crumpled body of Wilson on the floor.

"What the hell Miranda?" He shouted and for a moment his reaction relieved Shepard, if he was as shocked as she was that was a good sign.

Shepard frowned, she recognised the woman's voice as the one on the speaker before and shook her head "What the hell was that? Why did you kill Wilson?"

The woman shook her head "He was behind this attack." Her dark eyes moved to Jacob "I'm sorry Jacob." She said, almost sincere – but Shepard didn't buy it, she didn't buy a whole lot about this woman and that bothered her more than a little.

"Who are you?" Shepard asked, still not lowering her pistol yet and the dark eyes came back to her unreadable.

"My name is Miranda Lawson." She said, her voice thick and heavy with an accent "I'm the project leader for Lazarus. Nev is my assistant. Jacob is head of our defence." She shook her head "Our boss is eager to speak with you now you are awake Commander."

Reluctantly Shepard lowered her gun "Where am I?"

Miranda narrowed her eyes at her "Not now Commander. We have to get off this station while the mechs are out of control. We spent a lot of money bringing you back to lose you now."

Shepard balked, she didn't want to go anywhere with these people "I'm not about to jump in a shuttle with you." She ground out "I don't even know who you are."

Miranda smiled cooly "Your choice Commander, but this is the last shuttle from this station, and I imagine due to the extensive sabotage it will likely be purged. So you can either get in the shuttle and let me answer your questions or you can sit here and wait for the bombs to go off." She raised an eyebrow "Your choice."

With that she turned on her heel – an actual heel, Shepard noticed at the end of long shapely legs, and strode toward the parked shuttle.

Abigail glanced to Nev who moved after Jacob and Miranda hurriedly and slowly, with a heavy sigh she holstered her gun and jogged after the two of them.

* * *

_Taylor bounced on the balls of her feet, blonde pony-tail swinging wildly as they circled each other. She moved fast, but Hobbs was faster countering each of her blows easily with an infuriating smile and laugh. She feigned a blow to the side, using his block to get inside his defences and hit him in the face but before she could defend herself from the counterattack he had her, his arm catching under hers and lifting her from her feet as he slammed her onto the mat, pinning her beneath him. _

_Abigail closed her eyes, turning instead to look at JJ and Crow as they sparred. Why did he have to get teamed with Taylor? She swallowed, choking on that thought as Taylor's high laugh rang out in the gym hall._

_When she looked back round Hobbs was heading toward her, wiping his brow with a bandaged hand. He smiled and for a moment Abigail felt her spirits lift as he sank to sit on the bench beside her taking the water bottle from her hands and drinking. _

"_You should come and show her how it's done." He smiled and Shepard moved her shoulders._

"_How come you got paired with Taylor?" She asked trying to keep it casual but there was a weight behind the question he didn't sense. He shrugged. Screwing the cap back on the bottle and setting it at his feet. _

"_I guess they saw us back in training." He said off-handily "She's about your height. Maybe they thought she would you know-"_

"_Replace me?" Shepard asked and he looked at her, his mouth curving into a wild grin. _

"_Are you jealous Tempy?" He joked, poking a finger into her ribs "You want me to throw you on a mat?"_

_She recoiled from the humour, shaking her head as she gave him a small smile "You could try Hobbs." She said bluntly "Once."_

"_You don't have to be jealous baby." He said gently, his hand moving to her knee "This is just work."_

_She shook her head "I'm not." She insisted trying to stop her face turning red at the blatant lie, turning her gaze back to Crow and JJ as they wrestled "Crow seems to be having fun."_

_Hobbs chuckled "Yeah. They should really just have sex and get it over with." _

"_Hobbs!" Taylor's voice called and he groaned, raising his eyes to look at her "Call for you." _

_Abigail bristled as he got to his feet and jogged to the end of the gym where a console was set up. Taylor moved to sit beside her, taking the same water bottle and drinking from it heavily. _

"_He's so funny isn't he?" She asked, and Abigail kept her eyes carefully on Hobbs' back as she nodded. "When we were on our last mission he spent the whole night talking about you." _

_Shepard smiled and turned to look at her. "He did?"_

"_Well," Taylor frowned "Not about you specifically. He was telling me about all the things he finds weird about biotics." She laughed, getting to her feet as she screwed the cap back on the water bottle "He was saying how much he missed normal sex – it was so funny." She laughed again, flicking her pony-tail over her shoulder as she dropped the bottle back in Abigail's lap "Hobbs!" She shouted and Abigail slid her gaze back down the gym as he turned to look at Taylor "Round two, hurry up!"_

_She heard him come in. In the darkness of the apartment she could hear him walking gently up the hallway trying to be quite. She heard the noise of his duffel bag hitting the floor, of him removing his boots, of feet on the bedroom carpet as he crept around to his side of the bed. She wiped her eyes, the tears still threatening and choked back a sob as he drew back the duvet and climbed in next to her. _

_His hand wandered over the bed, curling round her waist as he pressed himself to her kissing her hair gently "You awake?" He whispered and she stiffened not sure if she should answer. Her silence betrayed her though because she also held her breath._

"_You left." He said curiously "I wondered where you went." _

_You sure didn't come looking for me, she thought angrily and swallowed that remark, taking a shallow, steadying breath. _

"_Tempy?" She felt his breath on her ear and closed her eyes; he cleared his throat putting on his best dog-whine impression "Tempy?" He tried again, the voice would normally make her smile, but tonight it left her cold against him. _

"_Have you been talking to Taylor?" She asked and he froze, in the darkness she couldn't see his face and so wished she could – she had to see his reaction, to gauge whether he was lying or not. _

"_Talking?" He shook his head "What do you mean? Yes, no. I mean I talk to her, sure – why?"_

"_Nothing." Abigail said firmly "Doesn't matter."_

"_Did I do something wrong Tempy? It's like -10 in here." He pressed and she turned away from him a little more, hunching her shoulders so he couldn't come any closer. "Abigail?" _

_She set her jaw, her eyes welling with tears as he hesitated and then slowly turned around so his back was to her. She chewed on her bottom lip as she let Taylor's voice fill her head again, was that true? Had they been laughing about her? She closed her eyes as tears pressed from under her lashes and all she could see was Hobbs pinning her to the mat, Taylor's hands on his shoulders – Taylor's mouth on his and Hobb's relief that he was finally with someone normal. _

_Normal. _

_That word stung more than it was meant to and she sniffed, raising a hand to wipe her eyes gently. She could never be that for him, she could never be Taylor._

"_We're shipping out tomorrow morning." He said gently "First real mission."_

_She blinked, clearing her throat gently "Really?" She asked and sensing an opening she felt him turn back in the bed toward her. _

"_Yeah." He said softly "I don't know how long for, a week or two at the least."_

_She took that in "Are Crow and JJ going?" she asked._

"_Yeah. We're all going." He said quietly. "Look – I don't know why you're being so quiet Temps, but it's killing me – can we talk?"_

_His lips pressed to her shoulder and she closed her eyes, his breath whispering between her shoulder blades. He pulled her against him, kissing her cheek gently. _

"_Temps." He said abruptly and he coaxed her round onto her back "Are you crying?"_

_She resisted weakly, but he pinned her hip under him slightly so she couldn't wrench away. _

"_Hey, I'll not be gone long." He insisted "It'll be fine." He kissed her, persistent when she held her mouth frozen. Gently he coaxed her lips open, kissing her a bit more deeply "I love you." He whispered "Tempy, I love you."_

_She lay still, her eyes closed as he whispered over her, his mouth moving from hers to her throat and all the while she wondered if he had been doing the same thing with Taylor. _

"_You know something?" He whispered, his mouth curving into a smile "You know what sucks about you being a biotic?" _

_She froze, her eyes flying open in the blackness._

"_I can tell when I'm doing this wrong because you don't glow blue." He sighed "What's wron-"_

_She didn't give him the chance to finish the sentence throwing him off her as she swung her legs out of the bed angrily. She heard him land on the bed, heard his shocked intake of breath as he called for her but she was moving blindly, grabbing for her coat off the rack and hurrying out the door before he could even get to his feet._

_When JJ answered the door she was dressed in her pyjamas. She looked Abigail up and down, dressed in her own cotton pyjamas with a long jacket wrapped around her and nothing on her feet before she ushered her inside. _

_It took some time for Shepard to calm down enough to talk, and when she finally did they were sitting in JJ's living room curled on her sofa with a hot cup of tea each. She told her what Taylor had said, told her what had happened and why she had ran and JJ listened quietly, contemplatively before she answered._

"_Hobbs would never say that." She said firmly. _

_Shepard shook her head, sipping her tea "I thought that too. But I don't know JJ. I feel like I hardly know him."_

_She raised an eyebrow, pushing her red hair behind her ear "Abby – Hobbs might be an outrageous flirt, and he might have had a reputation at one point, but there is no way he would have said that to Taylor. He doesn't even like her that much. He works with her because he has to."_

_Abby swallowed "But you like Crow…" She said quietly._

"_Yeah." JJ nodded "I do. Not that it does me any good. The guy is thicker than ten short planks – but I liked him before. Being partnered up doesn't mean we're going to end up together. Taylor is a pain in the ass, to no-one more so than Hobbs." She shook her head "I don't even think I have seen him talk to her on down-time. He spends most of his time writing in this journal that he carries around." She frowned "It's this little red leather book – I have no idea what he's doing but any time we're not working that is what he does."_

"_You think?" Abigail asked and JJ smiled._

"_Hobbs used to tell Crow how much he loved your biotics Abby – like… loved them, you know. The way guys talk about that kind of smut. Why would he suddenly turn around and say that?"_

_She shook her head "I don't know JJ." She moaned pressing a hand to her forehead "I don't know what to think anymore."_

"_Maybe you should try asking him." She said gently "Hobbs would never lie to you Abby."_

"_I must sound like I'm going crazy." Abigail smiled apologetically and JJ shook her head._

"_You sound like you're in love." JJ assured her gently "And like you're scared you're going to lose it."_

_Before Abigail could roll her eyes there was a heavy knock on the door that made both women flinch anxiously. JJ got to her feet, padding through the hallway and a moment later she could hear a rich, worried voice talking far too fast and she closed her eyes. _

"_She's here?!" The voice exclaimed and then there was the sound of rushed footsteps, and Abigail opened her eyes to see Hobbs coming into the living room. She expected him to be angry, but he moved to her quickly, dropping to his knees in front of the couch and pulling her against him in relief. _

"_Thank God." He breathed and she steadied her cup of tea as she wrapped an arm around him burying her face into the leather of his jacket._

"_They found a body downtown while I was looking for you." He whispered "Don't ever do that to me again Tempy." _

"_Alright." JJ's voice broke them apart and Hobbs looked to her seriously "You're here, so you might as well get your heads down." She sighed "Take the spare room." She made to leave, lifting her mug of tea as she went. She paused in the doorway, glancing back to them "And if there is hanky-panky – which knowing you Hobbs… keep it down. My neighbours are much less accommodating than yours." She drawled rolling her eyes at the grin she received from Hobbs before she padded down the hallway to her bedroom. _

* * *

Two years.

Shepard dipped her head under the hot spray of the shower and pressed her palms to the cold tile.

Two years.

When they had first told her she had thought she would faint. She had been gone for two years. Two years of her life she had just, stopped, while the world moved without her.

She closed her eyes, the spray washing the tears away as she turned, wetting her hair gently. It was shorter than it had been and felt wiry to her – she missed it trailing down to her hips, instead it barely passed her shoulder blades. Looking at her feet she ran her fingers over the faint pink traces of scars over her skin – a great line up her chest that marked between her breasts like a zipper, a dozen pink marks on her arms and legs where incisions had been cleanly finished – what the hell was she?

She felt like a monster, some kind of abomination dragged back from the dead. Was she a walking corpse? An AI with personality implants? She shuddered, pressing her back against the wall as she slid to the floor gathering her knees against her chest. She flexed her hands, feeling the tendons move and stretch and even that seemed unfamiliar – alien.

Two years.

Miranda had answered as many questions as she could. She had told Abigail about the crew being disbanded and her reports discredited but could offer no details on where people were or even how they were doing. She had offered little information on their own resources except to say they were Cerberus – a name that rattled every fucking alarm inside Shepard at once.

She had dealt with Cerberus before, they had killed Admiral Kahoku, they had performed sick experiments on humans and aliens alike and they were hailed as terrorists within the Alliance. She doubted two years would have changed much of that reputation.

Was she another sick experiment?

Towelling herself Shepard looked over the clothes that had been left for her; this facility was nothing if not organised and she was grateful to have the time to gather her thoughts before they met with the Head of Cerberus, this Illusive Man Miranda had mentioned.

_Stupid name,_ she thought tugging the vest on _I bet he's actually called something like Francis; or Lindsay._ She smirked, tugging the combats up over her hips, pausing as she discovered another scar cresting the curve there – but it was a _real_ one, a familiar one. She had gained that scar when she had fought Saren and his geth on the Citadel. She ran a finger over the white line, drawing strength from the sight of it – maybe there was some of the real her still there after all.

When she exited the small room Miranda and Jacob were pacing. She wished she had insisted on keeping her pistol feeling decidedly vulnerable as she looked to each of them and then to Nev who stood at the observation window with her arms folded.

"The Illusive Man is waiting Commander." Miranda said pointedly and Shepard bit the inside of her mouth to keep from speaking. The dark haired woman glanced pointedly to a door behind her and Shepard nodded, pushing past her and heading into the room.

The room was darkened, the only light coming from the stairwell she had just climbed down and a blue ring in the middle of the floor. Slowly she approached it, glancing for this Illusive man, but the room was empty. Stepping into the ring immediately she heard the whir of mechanics and froze as an orange net of scanning web came up around her, making her narrow her eyes against the brightness painfully.

As she watched on gradually a holo appeared, the shape of a man in a chair flickered into focus but he was in shadow the backdrop behind him of a roiling mass in space casting him almost in silhouette.

_Figures_, Shepard frowned, quirking her mouth as she folded her arms over her chest.

"Commander Shepard." He said, and his voice was rich and soft, the hint of too much whisky and smoking there in it's rough tones.

"Illusive Man." She rolled her eyes "Here was me thinking we would be meeting face to face. Got to figure a Cerberus sissy would hide behind a holo."

He didn't move as he took in her words, but he didn't take the bait either, simply inclining his head as a trail of cigarette smoke filtered from his mouth "A necessary precaution." He said stiffly "Not unusual for people who know what you and I know."

She frowned, jutting out a hip as she sighed "If you think I'm going to trust you because I woke up in one of your facilities you are sadly mistaken." She said tightly "What do you want?"

"You need to put your personal feelings aside." The Illusive Man scolded and she balked, her eyes widening "Humanity is up against the greatest threat of our brief existence."

That caught her attention, as much as she hated the hook it sank into her Shepard swallowed "The Reapers." She said, already knowing it was the answer. She knew it wasn't over and now she had lost two years and lord knows what else in the fight against them, how much time did they have?

"Good to see your memory is still intact." The Illusive man commented "How are you feeling?"

Shepard narrowed her eyes at him "That is none of your damned business. I asked you a question before, what do you want and what does the Reapers have to do with it?"

There was a pause as the Illusive man got to his feet, the shift of angle allowing her to see a slice of pink cheek, a smart shirt under a jacket "We're at war." He said archly "No one wants to admit it, but humanity is under attack. While you've been sleeping entire colonies have been going missing. Human colonies."

Shepard caught her breath, she wasn't about to take anything this man said at face value, but she knew she couldn't risk disbelieving him if the Reapers were involved. She had to at least investigate it herself first.

"We believe," The Illusive man continued "It's someone working for the Reapers, just as Saren and the Geth aided Sovereign. You've seen it yourself. You bested all of them. That is one reason why we chose you."

Shepard frowned, he was placing a lot praise at her feet she didn't deserve "Fighting a war doesn't sound like the Cerberus I remember." She said hotly "What's in this for you?"

The Illusive Man chuckled and that got her hackles up "Cerberus is committed to the advancement and preservation of Humanity." He said patiently "Of course we'll take up arms when the Reapers threaten us with extinction."

Shepard shook her head "It doesn't sound like the Reapers. They were out to harvest _all_ life, why would they just be targeting a few human colonies?"

"We don't know why." He said, and at least it sounded honest and sincere "The Alliance are doing little to investigate because the attacks appear random and they are so focused on the new politics of the Citadel they are forgetting to add up the numbers. Hundreds of thousands of colonists have gone missing. We don't know why they are suddenly targeting humanity – maybe you got their attention when you killed Sovereign?"

Abigail swallowed, glancing to her feet; she didn't want it to be that. She didn't want those numbers on her conscience. "If what you are telling me is true, then I want to see proof. If you think you can feed me lines and then point me in a direction to go start killing you need your head examined."

"I would have been disappointed if you had just agreed." The Illusive Man said lightly "I have a shuttle ready to take you to Freedom's Progress, the latest colony to be abducted. Miranda and Jacob will brief you."

Shepard snorted "Are you kidding me?" She shook her head "I'm not going anywhere with a gun for hire and a trigger-happy cheerleader. No way. You want me to work for you I get to pick my team."

There was another long silence and then he sighed "At this juncture Commander that is not possible, I would need time to gather dossiers and make contact with them. I suggest you go with Miranda and Jacob for now to Freedom's Progress, find out what you can, look for anything connecting the attack to the Reapers – with your previous experience that might be easier than someone who has never seen one." He took a long draw on his cigarette "I brought you back. It's up to you now to do the rest."

With that the communication winked out and Shepard stared after the flickering image a moment before she turned back to the stairs.


	28. Chapter 28

Title: Mass Effect Two Chapter Three  
Author: DinkyMew and JagesPages  
Game: Mass Effect (Two)  
Disclaimer: Bioware own all content and characters related to the Mass Effect franchise. Abigail Shepard is my own creation inspired by the character of Jane Shepard created by Bioware. Any original characters contained herein are my own creations (with the exception of Vindex Foster who is the sole property of Julie Jones and the Swagger Vasa Chronicles) and are not necessarily affiliated with Bioware. **You may not copy, edit or distribute this fanfiction as it stands without my expressed permission – thank you**

* * *

"**Damned"**

_Hobbs watched her carefully, but her expression was unreadable even with his skills of careful interpretation he couldn't decipher intent from her cool gaze._

"_I assure you, you have made the right choice Operative Hobbins." Miranda said, her voice was clipped and polite and it got right under his skin "Cerberus thanks you for your cooperation and for working with us."_

"_I'm not working with you." He said heatedly, tempering his anger as he watched them at last unload his most precious cargo "Let's get that clear. I know my colours. I don't work with terrorists."_

_At that she smiled, soft, full red lips curving as she nodded "I understand your hesitation," She said simply "but Cerberus has no intention of harming Commander Shepard. Our motivations you will find are completely altruistic in this matter, we simply want to help bring Humanity's figurehead back to her rightful place."_

_He swallowed, watching as the coffin disappeared behind heavy doors feeling like he had suddenly lost gravity "You turn her into an abomination I swear I will come back and hunt every last fucking Cerberus agent down." He said, and there was no lie in his words. _

"_Our goal is to revive Shepard." Miranda said patiently "We don't intend on changing her in any way unnecessarily, you can put your mind at ease." She looked behind her "Now, if that is all I want to thank you again Operative Hobbins, but as you can see my work has to be started immediately."_

_He reached for her as she turned to leave, grabbing the shoulder of her armour and turning her so he could tower over her, his face inches from hers – so close she could feel the vibrations of his anger as he glared into her eyes "Don't fuck me around." He warned "You said you can bring her back, that means I'm taking a chance in trusting you – the minute I hear otherwise you had better start running." _

_She hesitated; her eyes watching his carefully and Hobbs didn't even have to search to see the fear creep over her face as she nodded slowly "You'll be kept informed of our progress." She said weakly "Success or failure – we'll be in touch."_

* * *

Hobbs shouldered his duffel pulling his cap over his eyes further as he shirked his hooded top, sinking further into it he spat blood to the ground. His ribs were killing him, but he had won the bout which was the important thing and if he managed to get rest somewhere he could probably avoid going by a free clinic, he had seen enough of them in the last few weeks to last a lifetime.

Instinctively he dipped his chin to his chest, his teeth catching the chain around his neck as he chewed on it idly stopping to glance in a restaurant window. He was starving, his stomach growling angrily but he resisted, he had to find somewhere to rest and he needed the last of his credits for that.

He turned, his bandaged hand coming to the chain still held in his teeth as he glanced around the slums. Omega was the lowest of the low, but it was also the easiest place to find fights and earn quick cash – and the alliance avoided it like the plague which appealed to him more and more these days. He fingered the dog tags hanging on the chain closing his eyes over Shepard's one; he had removed them the day he handed her to Cerberus – the day he had cut all ties with himself in desperation and blind hope.

He had promised them he would hunt them down; and now almost a year later and still no news he was in no position to hold true to his word. The Alliance were always a step behind him, and he knew it was the brig he was facing if they caught him – maybe even capital punishment – and while part of him longed for it he knew Shepard would kick his ass if he were to hand himself willingly to a death sentence.

He tucked the tags back inside his jersey, jerking the tip of his cap down as he turned to move. It was then he saw the old Alliance recruitment poster – her face smiling seductively at him from the grimy film and he closed his eyes remembering her look of disdain as she had showed him the same picture in the hospital – remembering how much she hated it and they had laughed and he had secretly carried a folded copy in his combats everywhere with him.

He slid his gaze over to the next storefront where a woman sat pressed to the glass almost. She smiled, giving him a coy wave and he frowned, glancing behind him before he headed to the door of the establishment.

* * *

"That's… that's a lot more than I usually ask for my girls." The bar owner eyed him suspiciously, his balding head glinting under the bar lights as he screwed one eye shut and stood on the balls of his feet to look closer at Hobbs.

"You're not planning on stealin' her are you?" He asked in a low, dangerous voice.

"I have particular tastes." Hobbs said off-handedly "That amount should buy me a decent amount of time and any girl I choose right?" He kept his gaze carefully hardened as he met the smaller man's brown eyes.

"You have one in mind?" He asked, taking a step back and smoothing his hands over his long moustache "My girls are all clean mind you – they're tested daily."

"That one." He didn't even need to look at the others, the girl he had in mind had been sitting in the window of the establishment and as he pointed a long finger in her direction the bar owners face split into a gruesome toothless smile.

"Illia," He informed Hobbs who shrugged; her name didn't matter "She's seen a lot of business these past few weeks. It's that new hair-do of hers I figure." The owner nodded "Modelled her after that Alliance campaign poster… you seen it?"

Hobbs stuffed a hand into his jeans, the other adjusting the weight of the duffel over his shoulder "So are we trading or not?" He fought hard to control his temper as exhaustion crept in at his edges. He crushed his eyes closed, pressing the pad of his thumb to the bridge of his nose.

With a snap of his fingers and a whistle the bar owner called the girl over. She sauntered to his side, giving Hobbs a cautionary glance up and down but he wouldn't meet her eyes, instead he looked at the man carefully.

"How long?" Hobbs asked and the bar owner shrugged.

"That amount of credits? You're good for… say three hours with Illia?"

"Three hours!" She crooned, and then she did reach for him, running a hand down his arm "You have big plans I see." She grinned and he swallowed the lump in his chest as she turned, catching his fingers and leading him behind her into one of the side rooms.

He shrugged off his duffel bag, taking a quick inventory. The room was small – in the far corner there was an unmade double bed, the sheets still twisted and ruffled from the last occupants and he grimaced. Turning he watched her close and lock the door before she turned to him. Straight to business she marched to him, tugging his vest from his jeans eagerly and he shook his head, batting her hands from him.

"Take your clothes off." He said firmly turning from her and pulling his duffel bag open.

"Ok." She said, and went about removing the shorts and vest-top she wore. When he turned back to her she was standing naked, her hand on her hip, waves of dark hair falling over her shoulders and covering her breasts.

He moved past her and she deflated huffing at his apparent disinterest as he stripped the sheets from the bed, replacing it with the blanket he carried in his duffel for when he slept rough. It just stretched to the edges of the bed and no more and then he faced her, his brow creasing to a frown.

She tried again, moving to him and this time he let her slide his hooded jacket from him, lift his vest over his head and her eyes roved over his skin taking inventory of the scars and bruises that were still fading.

"You must be military." She smiled, taking note of the dog tags still around his neck, she smiled, pressing cool practiced lips to his shoulder and he shrugged her off, she pouted playfully and he closed his eyes swallowing the sudden flare of anger he felt – not at the girl but at himself "Who's Abigail Shepard?" She asked suddenly and he froze, his eyes opening and looking to her as she played with the dog tags around his neck.

"None of your business." He said gruffly "I didn't pay you to talk."

"Really?" She smiled "What did you pay me for?"

He moved away from her, back to his duffel bag retrieving an item of clothing he tossed it to her. "Put that on and get in the bed." He ordered and he heard her make a noise, a slight catch of breath that let him know she wasn't happy about it; but he didn't care.

She obeyed, sliding down over the blanket watching him expectantly.

"Spread your legs." He ordered, careful not to look at her face as he knelt on the bed between her knees. Carefully he pressed his head to her abdomen, buried under the thick wool of his red sweater and the contact seemed to drain the energy from him as he sank on top of her, curling one of her legs around his hip he turned into her his head resting comfortably at her sternum.

She waited a moment, waited for him to do something and then she sighed "What are you doing?" She asked.

"Shhh." He muttered, "I told you I didn't pay you to talk."

"Yeah." She bit off "So what am I being paid for?"

"Just hold me." He said weakly "don't talk. I just… I need to sleep. And I need it to be dreamless." The words left him ragged and hollowed, but as he closed his eyes and tears sank into the sweater he could almost pretend… almost…

"_Hard day?" Her voice was soft and gentle, coaxing but not direct enough to be irritating, he moved in her arms, breathing in the scent of her through his sweater._

"_Better now." He smiled and her hands slid into his hair, twirling it between her fingers, nails dragging against the skin of his scalp, up the back of his neck making him shiver. He held onto her, and the tears came silently as he buried his face in the wool – listened to her heart and her breath coming and going and wished for all the world it could be real. _

"_I'm so sorry." He wept, and she shushed him gently, cool fingers holding his head to her "I'm so sorry Tempy."_

* * *

When Hobbs woke the girl was gone but he wasn't alone.

As his eyes fluttered open he wasn't surprised to see the still, patient figure of a man sitting on a wooden chair across the other side of the room. He rubbed his eyes tiredly, pushing himself to his elbows as he met the man's look.

"Morning sunshine." The agent smiled, green eyes flashing from under a trail of blonde fringe "Sleep well?"

Hobbs returned the smile, banking onto his side as he stretched "Now I know the Alliance is scraping the bottom of the barrel." He said stiffly "Where's my sweater?"

His ease and manner had the agent caught off guard and Hobbs smiled placidly as the man's features muddled momentarily before he frowned confused "What sweater?"

"The girl that was in here." Hobbs clarified "She had my sweater on. I want it back."

The agent shook his head lightly, making a steeple with his fingers as he leaned forward in the chair "What exactly do you think is going to happen here Operative Hobbins?" He asked icily and Hobbs rolled a shoulder.

"Why don't you fill me in Patterson." He sighed and the use of the man's name had the desired effect; he looked sharply at Hobbs, his eyes narrowing – they had known each other at one time, Hobbs trained alongside him when he was assigned as squad leader – when he had been the one doing the hunting.

"I'm taking you back to the Alliance." Patterson said simply "Don't try to fight Hobbs, there is a shoot to kill order in effect – and I really don't want to shoot you." He smiled "I hate getting blood on my suit."

Hobbs nodded slowly giving his suit a once over. It was black, the cuffs and breast seam laced with a bright gold – it looked smart he supposed, but he didn't like the suits much, he seemed to have old fashioned tastes when it came to clothing.

"It is a nice suit." He agreed nonchalantly and the agent almost preened – almost took the bait – but almost was all Hobbs needed.

As Patterson's eyes ticked downward Hobbs launched the pillow he was lying on with brute force – the heavy sack barrelled into the agent on the wooden chair momentarily stunning him – that was ten extra seconds for Hobbs as he snapped out of the bed and was beside the man in five.

Recovering Patterson reached for his gun, getting to his feet and Hobbs intercepted him – blocking his attempt to retrieve his weapon, snapping the thermal clip from the chamber in a swift and smooth movement Patterson didn't even see. Patterson lumbered a fist at Hobb's face but he was too slow – and Hobb's too practised – he saw it coming a mile off and slapped it out of the way, using the man's momentum to turn him simultaneously sweeping his feet from under him.

Patterson went down hard, clattering against the floor and chair, already scrambling to get up when Hobbs straddled him – he could end it here, it could be quick, painless and it would be one less agent after him – but he resisted instead pulling a punch to the man's face knocking him cold with one hit.

Slowly he got to his feet, dragging the unconscious agent to the bed and heaving him onto the mattress. As quick as he could he gathered his blanket back into his duffel and dressed himself again – agents always came in twos he knew that well enough over the last year.

Swinging the duffel over his shoulder he moved to the door, pausing to make sure the man was breathing. Reassured that he was just out cold Hobbs breathed a sigh of relief – he had never liked Patterson, but the man was just doing his job, and so long as they sent these deadbeat agents he had nothing to worry about.

Stepping back into the establishment the bar owner looked at him fearfully, raising podgy hands as he passed.

"I never let him in." He said quickly and Hobbs ignored him, marching to the window where the woman was still sitting in his red sweater.

She turned to him, large brown eyes looking at him worriedly as he stopped in front of her pressing a hand into the hip of his combats.

"My sweater." He said firmly "Now."

Just as she went to answer the glass behind her shattered and she cried out, hot blood spurting over him as he dropped the bag and fell to the ground. The sound of gunfire filled his ears as he pressed his face to the glass covered floor, grinding his teeth angrily. From the way he was positioned he could see the woman on the floor, her body already jerking in its death throws as blood ran from a hole in her chest that had severed her aorta.

It pooled over the floor toward him and he closed his eyes as the sound of smashing and screaming erupted from the hail of gunfire. When at last it stopped he opened his eyes and wrenched away from that cruel finger of blood before it could touch him. Keeping low he took cover under the smashed out storefront, pulling a pistol from his waistband quietly.

"Go in and collect him." He heard an order – the voice muffled by a breather helmet and he held his breath, his old injury from earlier flaring angrily as his ribs complained about his positioning.

He heard the sound of boots on glass and closed his eyes, counting the steps – there were three of them, heavily armed by the weight of their steps – one female.

He was out of time, it was either stay in and deal with three or go out and deal with one.

"There he is!" He heard a female cry, her voice distorted by her helmet and his eyes flew open. Wrenching to his feet his foot caught an upturned chair almost naturally, slamming it right and simultaneously throwing it at the three attackers as he leapt back out of the broken window, stumbling a little as his foot caught the frame but he managed to keep himself upright, turning with his pistol ready looking for the one giving the orders.

There was no one there, only screaming civilians and Hobbs frowned, too late noticing the red dot as it danced on his grey hooded sweatshirt. He moved, the dot sweeping from his heart to his shoulder as the shot fired and he felt red hot pain lance into the muscle there. Crying out he slammed a hand over it – to find that it wasn't a bleeding hole – it was a small, projectile dart.

With a frown he tugged it from him and threw it aside, his fingers losing the grip on his gun as he toppled forward onto all fours.

The world spun angrily and Hobbs heaved as his head struck the ground, he blinked – trying to clear his vision but it was useless as he rolled onto his back. His vision darkened as a figure moved into it, tall and dark and purple.

Asari.

Well. Shit.

"The shadow broker would like a word with you." She said cooly and the last thing he saw was the butt of her rifle flying toward him.

* * *

_**Revenge is a dish best served cold**__, __Foster thought as he modded his sniper rifle and pistol. Commander Shepard had offered to upgrade his Stinger and the Mantis, but he had turned her down. His helmet, on the other hand, had seen better days, so he'd accepted new armor and helmet. It was a dark navy blue and much better than his Technicolor outfit. He strutted through the garage after donning it for the first time._

_The __Normandy __was docked at the Citadel for fuel and maintenance and Shepard had chosen him and Hobbs to accompany her on their short stay. The engineers had assured her the ship would be ready to travel within an hour._

_Hobbs was in his special ops armor; no helmet and no gloves. He smirked as his brother approached and Foster knew what was coming. Hobbs' right hand went up, arced down and smacked the new helmet. Hard. The vibration of the blow reverberated with a solid __clunk__ that made Foster's ears ring. Shepard said something and Hobbs' attention was on her, his hand still on Foster's helmet._

_Foster waited for it, and he wasn't disappointed. When Hobbs tried to move his hand it wouldn't budge. Foster knew it wouldn't because he'd put krogan adhesive on top of his helmet seconds before exiting the ship. It was tacky glue, and the impact of Hobbs' hand instantly bonded hand to helmet. _

_Without missing a beat, Foster unsealed the helmet, lifted it off and let it fall, watching with glee as it took Hobbs' hand with it. It was heavy and his brother's arm __thunked__ to his side._

"_Since you're so attached to it, bro, be my guest."_

_Shepard glanced down, but didn't see anything because quick-thinking Hobbs abruptly concealed his encumbered hand behind his back._

"_This looks like trouble," she said as a tall man in an admiral's uniform stepped out of the elevator and his precise steps brought him straight to her._

"_I'm Admiral Mikhailvich, Commander. I'm here to perform an inspection on your ship."_

_Foster saluted, as did Shepard. Hobbs wasn't obliged to salute, but he wasn't thinking clearly – his face somewhere between genuine confusion and thinking hard how to get out of the mess he was in - and he snapped to attention and brought his hand up fast. There was a loud __thud__ as the helmet smacked his forehead._

_Shepard's eyes widened briefly when she saw the helmet attached to Hobbs' hand. She treated Foster to a look that told him she'd deal with him later. Hobbs grimaced and lowered the offending helmet to his side._

_Luckily, the admiral hadn't noticed. His gaze was riveted on the __Normandy__, and he had a severe expression of displeasure._

"_Hobbs, permission granted to go to med bay." Shepard turned away and pointed at something on __Normandy's__ exterior. "We're hoping to have the damage repaired quickly," she told the admiral._

_As he passed by Foster he leaned in behind him, his mouth curving into a small smile "You are so going to pay for this, Beer." Hobbs' muttered as Foster widened his eyes in his most innocent 'Who me?' look._

_Foster watched Shepard and the admiral converse. The man's rugged features seemed to be a permanent mask of annoyance, and Foster was grateful he didn't have to deal with him._

_Once Hobbs was aboard, Shepard accompanied the admiral onto the ship. She glanced back at Foster, giving him a look that said, __Stay! _

_Foster remained on the docking bay, watching ships dock and take off, a favourite pastime. When the inspection was over and Admiral Grumpy was gone, Shepard beckoned Foster to her side. _

_He loped over, saluting smartly. "Yes, Commander?"_

"_Do you want to explain what happened?"_

_He looked guilty. "Sorry. How was I supposed to know there'd be an impromptu inspection? I hope it didn't cause you any trouble with the admiral."_

"_You do know that Hobbs will end you," she said in a mock-serious tone._

_He chortled. "He'll try."_

"_To save your life, I'm leaving you on the ship and taking him with me." She met the guileless eyes. "Get out of your armor and report to med bay. Dr. Chakwas needs to know what kind of glue you used before she can…" She paused briefly, smothering a smile, "…remove your helmet from your brother's hand." Her mouth twitched and he saw the mirth in her eyes she was trying so desperately to conceal. "Dismissed!"_

"_Yes, Commander." Foster opened a locker and began shedding his armor and putting on his combats. When he cautiously entered the cockpit he saw Joker doubled over with laughter. _

_The pilot gave him a two-thumbs up salute. "That was priceless!"_

_As he made his way to med bay, Foster heard chortles and whispers from everyone he passed. Evidently Joker had broadcast the incident throughout the ship. _

_Garrus was in the mess when he came down the stairs and the turian gestured. Foster joined him. The turian's blue eyes twinkled, but he steered Foster toward the elevator. "I think you should tell me what glue you used and I'll tell her. You get to the garage and stay there. Wrex is there in case you need him."_

"_It's not like Hobbs is gonna kill me."_

"_You didn't see the look on his face when he stalked into the med-bay. I did. For your own sake, Fos, do as I ask."_

_Foster smiled uncertainly and entered the elevator. "Krogan 32-67A glue—used to glue parts on their Tuchanka trucks."_

_Garrus chuckled lightly. "You don't mess around."_

_Garrus waited until his omni-tool beeped, Wrex's signal to him letting him know Foster was in the garage. He entered the med-bay and told Dr. Chakwas what kind of glue. Hobbs was sitting on the closest examination table, chin propped on the hand that was still adhered to the helmet._

"_Where is the little fucker?" Hobbs asked, blue-green eyes sizzling hot. He winced as Dr. Chakwas poured the solvent she mixed in the lab on the helmet._

"_It may sting a little," she warned Hobbs._

_His eyes narrowed and his lips thinned. The look he shot Garrus did not bode well for Foster. "I said, __where is he__?"_

"_I believe your exact words were, 'Where is the little fucker?'" Garrus said, doing a passable imitation of Hobbs' Brit accent._

_Hobbs started to leap off the exam table, but Dr. Chakwas restrained him. "Because of the toxicity of the glue, we have to get it off as fast as we can so, please be still."_

_Garrus snorted behind his talons. "Well, I have some calibrations to do."_

"_Tell Beer he's dead, only he doesn't know it yet," Hobbs called after him._

_The door to the med-bay closed and Hobbs flinched when Dr. Chakwas inserted an instrument between his hand and the helmet. "When I tell you to, Operative, I need you to pull as hard as you can."_

_In the mess, Shepard and Kaidan were standing in the small line for lunch. She was trying to be polite and keep their conversation to a friendly level. Suddenly, all heads turned to the med-bay._

_That sounded like a thresher maw in heat," Wrex said, lumbering over with his tray. "Believe me, I know the sound," he added._

_Garrus joined them. "Looks like the doctor got the helmet off."_

_Kaidan's mouth quirked up and Shepard sighed into her hand. "Wrex, do me a favor?"_

"_Yeah," the krogan drawled through a mouthful of food._

"_You and Garrus take your food down to the garage and keep an eye on Bambi."_

_There were some nervous titters from some of the crew as Hobbs barged out of the med-bay. Shepard's eyes widened. His temple sported a huge bruise and he was rapidly getting a black eye. The hand that had been glued to the helmet was bandaged._

_Shepard excused herself and told Wrex and Garrus to hurry. The krogan and the turian double-timed it to the elevator, the door shutting in Hobbs' face as he stormed past mess._

"_Hobbs!"_

"_What?" He barked and even she flinched, recovering quickly she glanced around well aware the crew were watching them as she cleared her throat and put on a frown._

"_A word?" She jerked her head to the side and moved to the stairwell out of the sight of the crowded mess and listened to his heavy boots as he stomped after her. _

_She turned on the step so that she was level height with him as he came around the corner and stopped abruptly, looking at her almost confused. _

_She tenderly touched his cheek. "Are you okay?"_

"_I lost the whole fucking top layer of skin from my whole fucking hand. I got a goose egg and a concussion, but I'm bloody fine!" He raged and she smiled, withdrawing her hand as she pushed her hair behind her ears. _

"_I guess you don't feel like going with me to the Citadel."_

_He laughed shortly. "You better get me away from my wanker brother, Tempy, or, so help me…"_

_She rolled her eyes. "I know, Hobbs. You'll end him."_

_His eyes were dead serious. "No, I might teach him a lesson." His voice was steel. "I might hurt him."_

_She nodded. "Well, we can't have that." She said gently "It was just a joke Hobbs."_

"_He's made me the laughing stock of this ship," Hobbs said in a low dangerous voice. "You better bloody well discipline him or I will Commander!"_

"_Hobbs." She breathed "It got out of hand, I don't think he realised the severity of the glue he used." She winced at the fast discolouration at his temple "Are you sure you should be walking around?"_

"_I'm fine." He chewed, turning to his side, leaning into the wall as he folded his arms over his chest, hissing at the pain in his hand as he curled it inside the bandage._

"_Hobbs." She pressed and he sighed, closing his eyes briefly before looking at her. _

"_I'm fine." He said and this time she almost believed it. _

"_If it would help I could kick you in the balls." She smiled "Might take your mind off the pain in your hand." _

_He laughed at that, shaking his head "No." He said with a small nod "No that's ok Tempy. I think you've kicked my balls enough since I got here." He inclined his head "Metaphorically speaking of course."_

"_Yeah." She smiled "You would probably enjoy it too much anyway." She stepped down onto the floor again, looking up at him with an earnest expression "I'm going to get something to eat and then we can go. Promise me you'll stay away from Bambi until you've calmed down?"_

"_Are you eating with Alenko?" He asked and she shook her head tiredly at him. _

"_Why?"_

_Hobbs moved his shoulders "I thought I might join you for some lunch – I'll behave myself." He assured her with a cheeky smile._

"_And Bambi?" She prodded and he moved his shoulders._

"_Revenge is a dish best served cold." He said and gave her a surreptitious wink. _

* * *

His eyes rolled open, making him start as his head rolled with them and he had the sudden and intense feeling he was falling.

"Tempy?" He croaked, closing his eyes again as a light flicked on, the white hot light glaring into his eyes to the point he felt them ache and flush with tears. He made to raise his hand to shield them and jerked, alarmed that he could move neither arms nor legs.

He splayed his fingers, feeling tendons strain and pull against a cold bar over his wrists, when he tugged his legs the same mechanism held his feet fast. He was strapped in a chair, disoriented from the white light shining in his face he closed his eyes forcing himself to be still. To breathe and gather his thoughts.

He remembered Omega, and the attack – he remember the girl dying and the asari who had shot him with a dart – some kind of tranquiliser?

"Operative Hobbins." A cool voice crooned and he kept his eyes closed, curling his hands to fists where they were trapped at his sides. "It is a pleasure." The voice was female, and he could tell already by the distinctive lilt it was an asari. Cool, soft fingers ran over bare skin on his chest and he grimaced, cracking one eye open to look at the silhouette as it leaned in close to him.

"You and me, we're going to get to know each other very, very well." She whispered in his ear and he swallowed down a dozen smart remarks, careful to keep his face serene and emotionless. He had been in worse scrapes before, he would work a way out of this one too.

"What do you want?" He asked, but he had a feeling he already knew the answer, he was trying to buy himself time.

"Now now." She teased, bouncing a fingertip on his nose "You know what we want. The location of Commander Shepard's body." She leaned on the headrest next to him, fingers sliding into his hair "And you are going to give it to us."

He smiled, turning his head to he could look into her sharp eyes firmly "Am I?" He asked, his eyebrows rising "I hope you brought a book, because you'll be waiting a long time for that."

She held his gaze, cold certainty in her eyes as she backed up, tugging his hair as her fingers slid back out against his scalp "Unfortnately for you the Shadow Broker doesn't have a lot of patience." The asari said coldly "But he does have an abundance of something else."

Hobbs swallowed the innuendo he felt rising in his chest and cleared his throat instead "It wouldn't be an abundance of humour and manners would it?" He asked sarcastically and the asari pulled a table toward her.

From this angle Hobbs couldn't make out much on the tabletop, but the glint of silver hitting the light told him it was utensils – the same kind he had in the interrogation rooms at Alliance HQ.

"No." She said, flashing him a cruel smile "Toys."

* * *

_Foster stifled a yawn as he lifted his shirt, loosening his belt enough to get his combats down and dropped unceremoniously onto the toilet seat. It was cold, and wet – which made him grimace, wondering which dirty fu… crew member hadn't lifted the seat previously. _

_With a sigh he made to get up and clean it when his legs wouldn't move. Well, he considered it carefully – they could move, but he was held fast to the seat – the skin burning at the back of his thighs angrily as he attempted to tug himself to his feet. _

_Oh shit, he thought blindly I'm stuck. _

_With a slow panic he twisted in the seat, bracing himself against the wall as he tried to free one cheek or the other, but the seat held fast to his skin. If he applied any more pressure he was going to do himself a serious injury. Panting from the exertion Foster wiped a hand over his forehead trying to gather his thoughts._

_Taking a calm breath he turned in the seat again unscrewing the hinges that held the seat to the toilet. He could stand, the seat still stuck to his rear end, but he could stand which was a win. The adhesive was toward the back of the seat – sticking the skin of his thighs and buttocks, but nearer the back of his knees was free and so he could walk – which was a relief. _

_But he couldn't cover himself, he couldn't get his trousers up and had no way of hiding his extremities. Gingerly he pressed hands between his legs, approaching the door with trepidation. _

_It opened, and quietly he peered around the corner to see if anyone was around. The mess wasn't crowded, thankfully, but there was no way he could make it to the med bay without being seen. He closed his eyes as his face began to flush crimson just at the thought. And then he spotted the lieutenant, mixing himself a coffee._

"_Psst!" He whispered sharply and Kaidan raised black eyes to look at his face peering round the corner. His face dropped into a frown. "Could you… get me a towel… Alenko?" Foster asked, trying his most charming smile and the lieutenant blinked, setting the mug down and moving toward him. _

"_No no no!" Foster cried backing into the bathroom once more but Kaidan was too quick and moved to stand in the doorway curiously._

"_A towel for…" He blinked as he saw Foster's apparent state of distress. "Oh." He said and then his mouth smiled before he could hide it "Oh." He repeated, the word barely suppressing the laughter that was behind it._

"_Shut up Alenko!" Foster cried "This is serious!" _

_Kaidan nodded "It's serious." He smiled remembering all the times the Corporal had made his time on the Normandy difficult, the gay taunts, the name calling, the trips and the jibes and the jokes. "I think it's called payback in laymen's terms, most unexpected but welcome nonetheless." He inclined his head "Suddenly we're out of towels."_

"_Fuck you!" Foster cried, but his voice was desperate and he knew he needed to get the man on side to get out of this one "Come on Alenko – it's-"_

_Kaidan turned, his attention caught by a voice and he glanced to Foster before moving away the door closing. _

_Foster closed his eyes, pressing a hand to his face as he tried to gather his thoughts. What the hell was he going to do? He was going to just have to walk to the med bay – he was going to just have to do it wasn't he? Just as he got his resolve and turned the door opened again and Kaidan was back; dark eyes shining with mirth as he wiped them absently. He had obviously been laughing. _

"_What do you want now?" Foster snapped, covering his modesty with his hands and turning so that he faced the wall while he looked at the lieutenant. "Come back for a second look?"_

_This time Kaidan's smile dropped as he moved his shoulders "Maybe."_

_Foster blinked, his eyes sliding left and right before he frowned "What did you just say?"_

"_Well," Kaidan shrugged "It was you and your brother that insisted I was gay wasn't it?" He pressed with a smirk "Maybe it's time to put it to the test." _

"_What?!" Foster squeaked "Get away from me Alenko I'm not gay!"_

"_Come on Fos." Kaidan grinned, cocking his head as he gave an obvious look at the man's backside "Do you mind if I call you Fos?" He moved in closer, sweeping a hand over the curve of his shoulder gently as Foster cried out, his eyes going wide as he shuffled further into the bathroom, right into the corner and tried to go further. _

_Kaidan grinned, hot warmth flashing in his eyes as he pushed against him, leaning his mouth to his ear "Or maybe you prefer…" He whispered gently, seductively "…Bambi."_

"_HELP!" Foster cried suddenly not caring who saw him starkers "HELP!"_

_There was the sound of laughing and then Hobbs entered the room grinning wildly. Kaidan backed off turning to Hobbs with a smile as he left quickly. _

"_We even?" Hobbs asked, folding his arms over his chest as he met his brother's gaze evenly. _

_Foster was shaking, the shock slowly receding as his senses came back to him "You… you put Alenko up to that… you did this?"_

_Hobbs chuckled "No more pranks Beer. Water under the bridge right? We're even."_

_Foster nodded slowly "Did you have to get Stinko involved?" _

_Hobbs laughed "I just wanted to see you squirm a bit. He wasn't actually going to do anything Beer."_

_Foster laughed nervously "Do you have solvent for this?"_

_Hobbs moved his shoulders "Dr Chakwas does yeah, but it's gonna sting. Trust me." He waggled his eyebrows at him "We're talking top layer of skin-" He made a ripping noise "Right off. I seriously hope you cupped your balls."_

"_Fuck you Hobbs." Foster ground out "Just you wai-"_

"_No." Hobbs said, his tone dropping as he moved in to the room "No more pranks Beer. No more games. You pull anything like that again on anyone on this frigate and I will personally haul your pale backside down to the cargo bay, string you up by your wrists and use you as my punchbag. This is a ship. Not a playground. Proffessional. You got me?" He pushed in closer, his nose bumping his little brothers as Foster nodded glumly._

"_I got you." He muttered, his gaze ticking to the floor._

"_Now." Hobbs smiled, "Dr Chakwas."_

_Hobbs stepped aside allowing his brother to walk in front of him still cradling his prize jewels from sight. He expected it – but it still killed him when he rounded the corner into the mess to raucous applause and laughter as the whole crew it seemed was waiting with baited breath. He felt his whole body flush crimson and lifted a middle finger to them all, avoiding their eyes as he shuffled toward the med bay. _

* * *

"Now now Operative!" He heard her voice calling him back from blackness, felt her hand slap his face hard enough to make his jaw ache sweetly; it distracted him from the pain in his abdomen. He could feel the wound there bleeding, the slow, warm trickle of blood seeping into the waistband of his combats.

He opened his eyes slowly, his vision was fuzzy but he could make out her shape as she stood with her back to him, twiddling a fine scalpel between long purple fingers. She had been interspacing cutting him with electric shock therapy – minus the therapy – and he took back every bad word he ever said to Abigail about her biotics shocking him; it wasn't bad at all. In fact this made biotics like tickling.

"You could save yourself a whole lot of suffering here Hobbins." She drew the words out in a sing-song that made his ears curl "Just tell me where the body went and I'll finish you quickly."

He closed his eyes, licking his lip where it had split from her persistent slaps "Ok." He whispered and she glanced over her shoulder at him.

"And they said you would never see sense." She scoffed, turning to lean on the headrest next to his head, she pressed a rough kiss to his forehead deliberately over a fresh bruise making him wince "Not just a pretty face." She crooned "Where is Shepard?"

He opened his eyes, looking at her seriously his mouth trembling and then he hawked in his throat and spat in her face.

Her eyes snapped shut as blood and phlegm spattered her cheeks and eyelids and when she opened them again he flashed a bloodied grin "You ain't getting jack from me you purple bitch." He growled "But you are welcome to keep trying."

Swiping a hand over her face the asari stalked from him "Maybe I'll let you cool off for a while." She barked, slamming her hand on a console somewhere and then he heard the door hiss open and closed behind her as the temperature in the room began to drop.

He waited a moment until he was sure she wouldn't come back in, twisting his hands against the metal holds, exerting as much pressure as he could without harming himself. There was no way these braces were loosening with brute strength alone, no to get out of this one he was going to have think harder.

But thinking was fast becoming troublesome and he frowned, fighting to keep his eyes open against the encroaching chill and his blood loss. Blinking wide he shook his head roughly, but still the heaviness persisted – he would be damned if he was going to let an asari take him out.

"You look in a spot of bother there lad – "The voice was so familiar and so unexpected he almost choked as he swivelled his head to see his grandfather lean in "always getting yersel into too much trouble Gyle." He shook his head muttering and Hobbs balked, frowning at him before he gave the room a cautionary glance.

"Are you really here?" He asked him and then shook his head "That bitch put something in the gas didn't she?"

His grandfather smiled, warm face pouching with skin as he raised his eyebrows "Looks that way my son." He laughed "Let me ask you a riddle-"

"No no no paps, no riddles, I just… I need a minute to clear my head." He closed his eyes, thoughts rolling together angrily as he fought to open them once more.

"Little Nanny Etticote,  
In a white petticoat,  
Wi a red nose.  
The longer she staunds,  
The shorter she grows"

Hobbs frowned "I don't care." He mumbled "Your stupid riddles."

"What did I always tell you Gyle, you and that temper – if you ride like lightning-"

He chuckled softly "You'll crash like thunder."

"Stick around kiddo." He felt a gentle pat on his shoulder "It ain't over yet."

"Hobbs."

He crushed his eyes closed, wishing he could bring his hands over his face as he heard her voice. "Not you." He whispered "You're not here."

"Hobbs?" The voice took on a painful lilt – that tone she got when she was playing with him, but it was cruel and he shrank back as he felt her fingers brush his arm.

"Hobbs." Tentatively he opened his eyes, looking into cold, blank blue ones. Shepard leaned into him, blood trickling from her mouth as she smiled at him darkly "Where were you Hobbs?" She asked softly and he froze, his breath rattling in his chest and he couldn't look away from her, from the accusation on her face as her brow creased into a frown, those dead eyes searing his soul "Where the fuck were you?"

* * *

Alyena smiled as she watched the Operative writhe and scream in the chair. The nerve gas – or so the shadow broker called it – always had a funny effect on humans and she enjoyed the look of torment on their faces.

He was proving tough to crack but Alyena had cracked tougher and she didn't give up that easily. She smiled as he bucked upward, his back bowing as he tried to free himself, wondering idly what it was he saw – everyone had different reactions, everyone saw different things when under the influence.

"Ma'am." A small voice sounded behind her and Alyena turned, eyeing the agent as he moved from one foot to the other nervously. She frowned at the batarian and he cleared his throat "We've had a breach on the outer hull – we're not sure but it looks like it could be an attack."

Alyena sighed, turning back to the containment room "Watch him." She said stiffly "Make sure he doesn't flake out. I'll be back shortly."


	29. Chapter 29

Title: Mass Effect Two Chapter Four  
Author: DinkyMew and JagesPages  
Game: Mass Effect (Two)  
Disclaimer: Bioware own all content and characters related to the Mass Effect franchise. Abigail Shepard is my own creation inspired by the character of Jane Shepard created by Bioware. Any original characters contained herein are my own creations (with the exception of Vindex Foster who is the sole property of Julie Jones and the Swagger Vasa Chronicles) and are not necessarily affiliated with Bioware. **You may not copy, edit or distribute this fanfiction as it stands without my expressed permission – thank you**

* * *

"Out of Time"

Shepard stepped out of the shuttle onto the ground of Freedom's Progress and immediately felt wrong. The colony was not remarkable in itself, situated in the turbulent Terminus Systems it was at risk of piracy and raids and so had reasonable defences mainly in the form of LOKI and YMIR mechs, but as Shepard took first tentative steps into the compound she could see immediately there was no sign of fighting.

The buildings were all intact, some still with meals set at tables the whole scene as though the colonists had simply ceased to be. She shivered, like they had just disappeared and was reminded instantly of the raid on Mindoir and the chaos and carnage of such violence. This was something different. This was something far more sinister.

"Has every abduction been like this?" She asked, removing her helmet and tucking it in the crook of her arm.

Miranda came to her side "Every one." She said firmly "No one is left behind, no indication of why or how they were taken – just empty colonies. Hundreds of them."

"Thorough." Shepard commented frowning "You assume they are being taken alive?"

Miranda smiled "More like hope Commander."

Shepard sighed "I wouldn't hold your breath." She said tiredly securing her helmet back on her head "Stay sharp."

* * *

_Hobbs was so focused he didn't even see Taylor until she was sitting right next to him watching him plough through sit-ups easily. He frowned at her as he came up._

"_Shouldn't you be working out Taylor?" He asked and she moved her shoulder, letting her blonde hair slide down over her back as she smiled sweetly._

_"I thought we could do some sparring with each other." She suggested and he laughed, glancing to where Crow was working out._

_"Hear that Crow?!" He called "Taylor wants to spar with me again!"_

"_Of course she does." JJ muttered from where she worked shaking her head in exasperation at Hobbs' ignorance to the situation. _

_Crow looked down from the salmon ladder and quirked a brow at JJ who was watching as she did her weight curls. "Now, that's the kind of partner I need," he remarked. "One who wants to spar with me all the time."_

_She shrugged. "It gets boring beating you after a while."_

_Crow frowned as if he was wondering if he should gloss over the insult or return it in spades. "Think you could beat Taylor? Come to think of it, you girls never spar."_

"_We don't mud wrestle either." She put down the weights and glared at him. "You don't think I can beat her?"_

_He jumped down from the salmon ladder and wiped the sweat from his chest and shoulders with a towel. "Let's find out," he said, giving her a snarky grin. "Hey, Hobbs! Your partner up for some competition?"_

_Hobbs got to his feet, pulling his vest away from his wet skin as he wiped under his nose with a finger. "Don't know about competition." He said bleakly "But she could sure use some practice." He moved away from her, grabbing his red journal and swinging onto a bench, working the pencil from the spine as he started scribbling._

"You guys are disgusting. You just want us to fight so you can pant over us." Taylor said archly.

From where he sat Hobbs laughed, glancing up at her over his journal "Alright." He said with a frown "Where did you get

_that__ impression?" He then looked to Crow who was nodding eagerly with a wide grin and his face dropped "Oh."_

Taylor got to her feet, tying her hair back "You know you think about it Hobbs." She teased with a smile and then added a little quieter "I know I would, in your position."

He wasn't listening though as he slapped the journal closed, wiggling the pencil back into the spine. He got to his feet "Alright." He said with a wide smile "Let's see who has the biggest balls then ladies." He pointed to the mats "first blood wins."

_JJ threw Crow a look that should have incinerated him on the spot. Her hands turned into fists and she struck him as hard as she could in his bicep. "Jerk!"_

_He flicked his arm. "What was that? A mosquito?"_

_JJ didn't let on that hitting his rock-hard bicep made her knuckles throb abominably. She approached Taylor who was looking at her, taking her measure, and, of course, finding her lacking. JJ grabbed some of the chalk in a bucket at the side of the ring and dusted her hands. She slipped through the ropes, congratulating herself upon not catching a heel or foot like she sometimes did. Taylor leaped over the top rope and landed like a cat in the centre._

_The two girls walked within range and JJ eyed her warily. She wasn't underestimating Taylor. She was good._

"_I know what you're up to," she said through bared teeth, ignoring Crow's admonishment she needed to put on the sparring gloves. Why? Because she was a woman?_

_Taylor watched JJ as they circled each other and smirked, she might be taller than her - but Taylor knew she could fight, she had trained enough with Hobbs to know how to protect herself._

_Taylor raised an elegant eyebrow "What are you talking about?" She asked "I'm not up to anything JJ."_

_Hobbs yawned, moving to sit on a bench nearer the ring and he leaned back against the wall, folding his hands behind his head._

"_I know you're trying to drive a wedge between Abs and Hobbs." JJ looked for an opening. She had watched Hobbs spar with Taylor many times and she knew she tended to go for middle mass. Probably because she couldn't reach his head. "I want you to stop it right now." JJ swung a lazy fist and when Taylor ducked as expected, she slammed into her side with a roundhouse kick and danced out of the way._

_Crow whistled. "That's my girl!"_

_Taylor took the hit, rolling with it like Hobbs had taught her to, smiling at the accusation._

_"Hobbs is a big boy." She muttered, meeting the other woman's heavy gaze "He'll make his own mind up in the end. Abigail is cute - but he needs more than that JJ. He needs someone who understands men. What makes them tick." She grinned "What makes them boil."_

_She danced inside her defences, her moves almost perfect shadows of her partners as she managed to land a hit to the kidney and as JJ curled instinctively she struck her face, dipping back out before she could respond with an attack of her own._

_"Bring your arms up JJ when you compensate!" Hobbs shouted and he got to his feet moving to stand beside Crow._

_Crow groaned when he saw JJ wipe blood from the corner of her mouth. "Damn! Over before it even started! I am so going to have more sessions with her."_

_JJ threw all caution to the wind, forgetting every move she knew and tackled Taylor bringing her to the mat, fingers curling into her hair. "For…your own good, stay away from Hobbs! He's taken!"_

_Crow started to climb into the ring, but Taylor struck a cruel blow to JJ's ribs, rolled to her feet and gave him a push. Caught off balance, leg half thrown over the ropes, he flailed and went down._

_Hobbs started to laugh, wrapping arms around his waist as he doubled over watching Crow land back first on the ground._

_"Man down." He grinned stepping on to his stomach as he moved over him to the ring._

_"You fucking bitch!" Taylor screamed launching for JJ, she wrapped hands into her hair dragging her down to the ring floor easily._

_"Whoah!" Hobbs shouted "Unsportman-like! Batarian's don't have hair!" But when neither woman appeared to be listening he glanced down at Crow worriedly before moving to climb in and separate them._

_JJ clawed at her, raking her nails across one cheek. The two women, in one accord, turned on Hobbs and shrieked, "Stay out of this!"_

_Crow groaned as he got to his feet. He watched, frozen in shock as the women rolled across the mat, scratching, biting and cursing, both kicking at Hobbs when he tried again to approach them. Crow turned away, searched the room. Something caught his eye and he grabbed the bucket of iced drinks, yanked the bottles out of the cooler, stepped into the room and tossed its contents over the girls and Hobbs._

_With a shriek Taylor released JJ in a rush, barrelling backwards as she landed hard on the mat sweeping hair from her face as she shook freezing water and ice chips from her hands frantically.  
_

_Hobbs blinked, turning to face Crow, his hands pressed on his hips as he nodded slowly "I appreciate your input Crow." He said sarcastically "Thanks for that." And then he turned back to the ring "One of you want to tell us what the hell is going on here ladies? You either settle it in there or you let it go."_

_Crow gazed at the ice chips melting their way down Hobbs' muscular shoulders and traps and he shrugged at his buddy. "Hey, it worked." He crossed his arms over his chest. "What the hell was that?" The question was mostly aimed at JJ._

_JJ bit her injured lip, causing more blood to drip. "Guess it's our time of the month," she said and frowned as she noticed one of her nails had broken off into the quick._

_Crow was squeamish when it came to a woman's monthly cycle. He looked to Hobbs pleadingly as if asking him to take the reins._

_Hobbs grimaced "That is your kettle of crazy." He muttered "Seriously though, I have any more fighting like __**girls**__ and I will end both of you. We're supposed to be profe…" His voice trailed off as the door to the gym opened and closed catching his attention. He half turned, his face lighting up instantly like a kid at Christmas. "Tempy!" He cried, pushing Crow backwards as he barrelled down the hall toward her. _

_Grabbing her into his arms he worked her legs around him as he kissed her. From where she stood Taylor frowned, pressing her hands into her hips and shaking her head._

"_Storage room is off limits!" Hobbs shouted as he walked Shepard backwards into the side room and slammed the door shut behind them. _

"_Seriously?" Taylor gawked "I can't believe he just did that."_

"_I can." JJ shook her head hard and the ice in it flew into Taylor's face._

"_You bitch! You did that on purpose!" Taylor spat and she lunged for her again – JJ moved lightning quick slapping the other girl hard with an open palm just as Crow managed to muscle through the ropes and stalk to her._

_Crow seized JJ about the waist, tossing her to one end of the ring and pushed Taylor to the other end. He planted his feet wide and spread his arms at shoulder height, fingers wide, in a stopping motion._

"_Both of you," he said in a dangerous growl. "Cut. It. Out."_

"_You can't stop both of us, Crow."_

"_Can't I?" He lowered his arms and cracked his knuckles. "We're a team!" He smacked a fist into the palm of his hand. "We train together; we fight together." His blue eyes flamed. "We don't fight each other!"_

"_We're not a team," Taylor snorted "JJ can't fight to save herself, you're so focused on working out – you don't get the concept of working together and Hobbs –" She threw her hands up "Hobbs disappears the moment Abigail snaps her fingers."_

_Crow tried hard to frown, he tried very hard, but his mouth betrayed him as he cleared his throat "I think that was her G-string." He mumbled and both women groaned disgustedly "And this!" He protested "Is exactly why they shouldn't have girls in spec ops."_

"_You want to go there?" JJ asked hotly and he smiled at her, his blue eyes taking her in from head to toe. Without another word he strode to JJ, picked her up and threw her over his shoulder._

"_Crow, put me down!" She beat on his bare traps and the hand on her butt tightened as he stalked out of the gym, down the hall to the rest room, tossed her on the bed and towered over her._

"_I don't know what just happened and I don't care. Like Hobbs said, or started to say, 'We're professionals.' Both of you need to work this out. We have a mission next week, dammit, JJ!"_

_She put her hand up to wipe away the blood that was spilling from her cut lip. His eyes went liquid. He turned, went to the medigel dispenser on the wall and came back to her. He sat on the bed and gently applied it to the cut._

"_Better?" he asked softly._

"_M-mm-h-mm."_

"_Still mad at Taylor?"_

_She nodded._

"_Stay here." He said quietly "Calm down. When you are ready to do some actual training, come and find me."_

* * *

JJ had spent the whole night telling Shepard about Crow's muscles, about the way he had manhandled her into the room making her knees weak – now it made her smile as she remembered old friends, wondering idly where they were in the galaxy now.

Shepard moved into one of the empty houses, stepping carefully over abandoned toys and children's books – it looked like a crèche of some sort and she swallowed painfully. There was no use in thinking about the children here or what happened to them, what was important was finding out what had happened so she could stop it happening again.

"Commander." She heard Jacob's voice and turned, raising eyebrows through her helmet visor at him "The scanners are picking signs of movement to the East of the compound." He looked at her worriedly "There's never been people left behind before."

"Alright." She said "Move it. Fast."

They spread out in motion and Shepard activated the tracker in her suit to see what Jacob was talking about. He was right, there were blips on the East side of the compound, together – a group – and she felt hope swell in her chest. Maybe finding answers was going to be easier than she thought.

"Mechs!" Miranda shouted and Shepard saw the flash of blue as she unleashed some biotic attacks, immediately Abigail moved to cover the troupe of mechs making their way from the East of the compound.

"That's where the movement is!" Shepard called.

"These mechs are for defence," Jacob said firing his pistol hitting one mech in the glass face panel "Someone must have rigged them to attack anything that moves."

"Why would survivors do that?" Miranda called but no one answered her – it didn't make sense.

Shepard turned, shooting the mechs smoothly as she got back to her feet "Let's go find out." She said simply.

* * *

_By the time Crow made it back through to the gym Taylor was on the weights – he rolled his neck, sighing as the muscle there popped and tingled before he got down on the press-up mat, jamming his feet under the bench and started his crunches. _

_He had just started counting when he saw Taylor moving out the corner of his eye, she moved, sitting on the bench in front of him – a foot on either side of his legs so he was, in effect, lying between her legs. She smiled at him, blonde hair washing over her shoulder in a wave._

"_What do you want Taylor?" He asked her trying to keep it friendly but the tone was a bit cold for that._

"_Whatever I want." She said breezily and Crow clenched his jaw – they all knew Taylor Hackett was the Admiral's daughter, but what was worse was that she knew it. She could have any one of them struck off the team with a whispered word and she would still have the pick of the jobs in the Alliance. She cocked her head as her smile widened "You better make sure your girlfriend knows that Crow. I get what I want."_

_He smiled, pressing his back to the mat "She's not my girlfriend." He muttered, and then frowned wondering how out of all she said he picked up most on that. What the hell? And when he thought about it JJ moved into his vision, that smile she could get when she thought she had one-up on him, the way her long red hair fell over her shoulders like dark honey, the way she would struggle and writhe under him – always fighting, always butting heads. He shook his head feeling heat creep up his neck as he narrowed his eyes at Taylor. _

"_You don't know what you want." He muttered, pulling another crunch easily "Girls like you never do."_

_She moved her shoulders smiling sweetly at him just as the door to the store room opened. Crow paused, tilting his head so he could look with his eyes as Hobbs and Abby re-entered the gym looking dishevelled and flushed as the door closed again and Hobbs held her against him._

"_Can you two knock it off!" He said but it was in good humour – he had spent too much time around the couple to know it was genuine and part of him wished he could have that kind of connection with someone. Part of him was a little jealous at the light in Hobb's eyes when he saw Abigail, of the love that seemed to overthrow life itself and the desperate, searing passion that insisted – no demanded – they have each other at the most inopportune of times. _

"_Sorry." Abigail said, pressing her hand over Hobbs' mouth as it moved toward her own again, he made a heavy noise, pressing his mouth to her throat instead and she pushed him away this time laughing a little. _

"_Alright, alright." Hobbs said, still breathing heavy as he moved to the fight ring again "Come on Tempy, let's show them how it's done."_

_Abigail swung through the ropes, watching Hobbs as he adjusted the waistband of his combats, stretching fingerless gloves over his hands as he rolled his shoulders. Crow and Taylor sauntered to the ring side, watching them curiously and Hobbs paused, pointing a finger._

"_Go and get JJ." He said calmly, waiting while Crow left. _

_When the three of them were waiting he turned to Abigail giving her a slow smile. She felt nervous suddenly, they had done this many times before – in many settings, it was Hobbs favourite game. _

"_Watch and learn kids." He said, pushing a gum shield into his mouth as he moved. Abigail moved with him – a mirror image as they circled each other. She curled her fists, smiling at him as his gaze held hers, and when he moved she moved with him. Their rhythm was flawless, each blow blocked smoothly, each leg sweep avoided gracefully until it looked like some kind of macabre dance. _

_Taylor watched entranced as they moved, a stab of jealousy rising in her throat as she scoffed "She's a biotic though." She snorted "She's a freak."_

_At the word Hobbs caught Abigail's wrist, stopping the movement abruptly "What did you say?" He asked her and she moved her shoulders. _

"_We're not biotics Hobbs." She said calmly._

_He let go of Abigail, wiping a hand over his forehead "Taylor – she's not using her biotics." He said patiently "I'm trying to demonstrate what you guys could be like if we could all learn to work together. What me and Tempy have? That's months of working together there – more than a year in fact!" He said hotly "We need to be this good – we need to be at this level already dammit! We're supposed to be spec ops, we're supposed to be elite!" He shook his head "Not one of you could take Temps down if she were to use her biotics and you have to be able to. You think an asari would hold back? A krogan?" He shook his head "Trust me, if she used her biotics I would be floored."_

"_Please." Taylor scoffed rolling her eyes "Biotics aren't that powerful."_

_Hobbs nodded, dipping out through the rope smoothly as he gestured to the ring "All three of you, go ahead, see how far you get." _

"_Hobbs." Abigail said shaking her head "I don't thin-"_

"_No, no." He said calmly "This is a lesson they need." He said sincerely "Just don't kill them Tempy."_

_JJ smiled, climbing into the ring alongside Crow and Taylor – it seemed a farce. Abigail was tiny, probably just over 5ft 4, and she was the gentlest person JJ had ever met, there was no way she would be able to hold off all three of them at once. _

_Without a word to the other two Taylor launched for her – predictable, and both JJ and Crow paused in amazement as Abigail's skin began to shimmer blue, she moved like water – looked like it too – the swirling blue energy moving with her as she blocked each one of Taylor's hits and swept her feet from under her gracefully. _

"_Holy." Crow muttered and he looked to JJ. _

_Hobbs was pressed against the ropes, his legs crossed at the ankles as he smiled quite pointedly at Taylor as she landed hard on the ground. _

"_I said teamwork." He chided "Trust me you're not going to get close otherwise."_

"_Get on the team a bit Taylor." Crow barked and with a nod to JJ they both moved in together. JJ pressed her attack, holding back at first, but as each blow was blocked – each hit countered she soon put her maximum effort into the fight still coming up against Abigail's hands and legs smoothly. It seemed impossible as she moved lightning fast, tripping JJ too easily and gripping crow's wrist in an arm bar letting a pulse of energy lift him from his feet to crash further back on the mat._

_Taylor was back up, flying for her in a fit of rage and JJ watched, panting as Abigail took her down again, and when she got up she put her back down. She shook her head looking to Crow helplessly – was Hobbs right? If they couldn't take down one biotic how were they going to cut it in spec ops. _

"_Ok," Hobbs said sighing "I'll give you all a hint. If biotics are fuelled by emotion – what do you think could give you the advantage?" He shook his head, his eyebrows rising. _

_JJ frowned at him, she hated that stance he took – like he was in charge, but he was actually quite good at it, not that she would ever give him the satisfaction of knowing that. She blinked, turning sharply to Crow._

"_Distraction." She whispered and he blinked at her dumbly, his large frame lumbering toward her as he shook his head._

"_What?"_

"_Distraction." She smiled "I'll distract her, you get through the defences." _

_Crow nodded once to let her know he had it and moved toward Abigail, feigning blows here and there waiting for the opportune moment. _

_JJ took a breath, sweeping her hair back over her shoulder as she feigned a rush toward Abigail, instead pivoting on her heel and grabbing Hobbs by his shoulders._

"_Crow!" She shouted, and just as both Abigail and Crow turned heads to look she pressed her mouth to Hobbs' roughly. _

_It worked a treat. Thoroughly shocked and distracted the blue glow winked out and Crow tackled Abigail to the ground where he pinned her in a light suppressive move. _

_Hobbs reared back, grinning at JJ with mirth and humour "JJ!" He cried "I didn't know you had it in you!" He slapped her back like one of the guys and she closed her eyes patiently "10/10 – see!" He threw his hands up "Teamwork people."_

_Letting Abigail up Crow fell back onto the mat panting "How the hell do you manage to spar with her." He breathed and Hobbs smiled, offering a hand to Abigail who got her feet barely even breaking a sweat._

"_We don't spar with biotics." He said giving her a cheeky smile "Biotics are for the bedroom right Temps?" _

_Abigail blushed, punching his arm and he rubbed it gently, pulling away from her as he chuckled warmly. _

_Taylor curled her lip "Too much information Hobbs." She shook her head "If biotics are so awesome how come spec ops don't have one on every team?"_

_Hobbs moved his shoulders "I think they should. I think they will, one day. Biotics are just unknown for now."_

"_Maybe they should stay that way." Taylor muttered._

"_The point though is we need to work as a team, we need to fight together or die alone guys." He took Abigail's hand, pressing her knuckles to his lips gently "We have to get better."_

_Crow sighed nodding, touching JJ's hip as she watched Hobbs gather Abigail in his arms – she had a gooey look on her face; that same look girls got when they saw something they thought was cute, and he swallowed as her gaze swung at last to him._

"_Good call on the distraction." He said, giving her a small smile. _

"_Well." She smirked "If you had kissed him I think it would have worked better."_

* * *

Shepard blinked, coming out of her thoughts as she ducked lower behind cover wondering if she could ever work with Cerberus like she had with the Alliance – these people were not her friends; she couldn't trust them.

The mechs were everywhere. Fighting through them had taken longer than expected and by the time they reached the East side of the complex the blips on the scanner had moved again.

"In here." Jacob said bypassing a locked door and Shepard drew her pistol ready. The door hissed open and she pushed forward bodies moving catching her attention as raised her pistol firing a round at the ceiling. The movement ceased and Shepard could see the group was quarians, their beautiful enviro-suits masking their faces as they turned to look at her.

"Wait!" A voice called out, distantly familiar as a petite quarian muscled her way to the front of the group "Shepard?" She breathed "Is that _you?_"

"I'm not taking any chances with Cerberus operatives!" One of the male quarians argued taking a step forward and raising a rifle; the petite female turned to him, holding a hand up.

"You said you would let me handle this Prazza." She growled and then she turned back to Shepard unsure.

"Tali." Shepard dropped her pistol, holstering it as she signalled for Miranda and Jacob to do the same.

"What are you doing with Cerberus?" Tali asked, her tone nervous as she looked to the agents behind Shepard carefully.

"I'm not." Shepard said, the familiar face making her drop her guard slightly as she glanced to Miranda and Jacob pointedly "I'm not _with_ Cerberus. I'm helping them investigate these abductions." She turned back to Tali imploringly "They are the only group investigating… the Alliance and the Council…" She shook her head.

"Tali – you are not seriously considering helping these Cerberus dogs?" The quarian she had called Prazza spoke up, and Tali looked at him, light reflecting off the visor of her face mask.

Tali inclined her head – it was impossible to tell from her expression what she was thinking so Shepard had to look to her body language for clues. "We're here for a quarian." She said at last "His name is Veetor."

"Everyone else is gone." Shepard said carefully "What makes you think Veetor is still here?"

It was Prazza who answered, folding his arms over his chest "We saw him when we landed." He said stonily.

"If you saw him then why isn't he with you already?" Jacob asked, taking a step forward to stand next to Abigail.

Tali sighed "Veetor was injured and he was always… well… nervous-"

"What Tali means is he was unstable." Prazza said heavily "Combine that with damage to his suit's Co2 scrubbers and an infection from open air exposure he is likely delirious."

"When he saw us landing he hid in a warehouse and we suspect he also programmed the mechs to target anything that moved." Tali explained.

Abigail sighed, rubbing a gloved finger over her forehead "Veetor is the only one who can tell us what happened here, we should work together to try and find him."

Tali nodded "Good idea you'll need two teams to get past the drones anyway"

Prazza made a noise, probably a scoff but it sounded much louder through the speaker of his suit "Now we're working with Cerberus?" He demanded hotly.

Tali turned on him "No Prazza you are working for me if you can't follow orders go wait on the ship." She stared at him a moment longer, and then the male quarians head dropped submissively and Tali turned back to Shepard "Head to the warehouse at the centre of the compound we'll go around the outside and draw off the mech fire to clear you a path."

Shepard shifted uncomfortably "Ok." She agreed at length "Maybe once we figure this out we could catch up – I have some ques-"

Tali held up a hand "Shepard." She said cooly "It's been two years, and now you are with Cerberus. That changes a lot of things; we're…" She shook her head "We're not friends."

Stung Shepard sank back on heels nodding slowly; she had expected Tali to be happy to see her – to be brimming with information and answers that would at least give her some direction in amongst all the confusion, but the quarian was cool and distant. She obviously didn't trust Cerberus and in their colours Shepard was one of them.

She nodded slowly "Alright." She said firmly "Keep in radio contact."

Slowly Tali inclined her head "Yes Commander."

* * *

"_I can't believe they made __**you**__ Squad Leader!" Crow cried, slapping a heavy hand between Hobb's shoulders roughly "That is a big deal man. To you."_

_There was a flutter of voices as everyone agreed and the sound of bottles clinking together over the table as people reached forward. Hobbs sat back, taking a drink from the neck of his bottle and raked a hand through his hair. It was a good day to be him: promoted to Alpha Squad Leader, finally convinced Shepard to move in with him – yeah things were on the up. _

"_We need more drink." JJ complained, getting to her feet she pushed past Crow and wound her way through the crowded dance floor toward the bar. Crow watched her go and then feelings Hobbs' eyes on him he blushed deeply, clearing his throat as he lifted his bottle to his lips. _

"_What are you looking at?" He asked Hobbs and his friend broke into a grin._

"_Funny, I was about to ask you the same thing." He said lightly "You haven't asked her on a date yet have you?"_

_Crow's eyes widened as he looked to the other operatives around the table as though warning Hobbs to keep his voice down. Hobbs laughed, leaning forward toward his friend, pressing elbows into his knees "They're not listening." He said dismissively "I thought we agreed you would ask her on a date?"_

_Crow flummoxed, his mouth opening to speak but nothing came out "I…I'm getting there." He managed at last. "I will. Eventually." _

"_Tick tock." Hobbs said meaningfully and then his attention was stolen as across the club Abigail appeared in the doorway flanked by a massive bouncer. _

_She looked amazing dressed in her black jeans and a red spaghetti-strap top; her dark hair was tousled, falling in wavy ringlets around her shoulders and down her back. She paused, the bouncer leaning down to talk to her and then he stretched to his full height once again pointing one stocky finger in the direction of their table. _

_Hobbs put his drink down and got to his feet, excusing himself politely from the group as he made his way to meet her. _

"_You managed to get away!" He grinned gathering her in his arms tightly "I wasn't sure…"_

"_Like I could miss this!" She smiled "Squad Leader!" She shook her head, smoothing a hand down the side of his face "I'm so proud of you baby, I knew you could do it." _

_He lifted her off the ground, smiling as she squealed, wrapping her legs around him to gain some balance "I couldn't have done it without you Tempy." He said seriously gazing up into her eyes "You brought me back from the black. You saved my life – I owe you everything."_

_She shook her head dipping down so she could kiss him gently "I moved the last of my stuff in." she smiled and he chuckled, letting her slide down to the ground once more._

"_Is there any room left in the apartment?"_

_She punched his arm playfully "I left you a shelf in the wardrobe." She muttered sarcastically and he laughed, threading his fingers through hers._

"_How did Anderson take you moving out?"_

_Shepard paused, moving her shoulders gently "Like he took the news we were dating." She smiled "Not well." She shook her head "He knows he's not my dad though so I think he finds it hard to really take a stand about it." She moved her shoulders "I guess it doesn't matter now though, we've done it, haven't we?"_

_Hobbs smiled kissing her forehead "It's just starting Tempy." He whispered "This is a whole new beginning for us."_

_It was later that night when Hobbs saw Shepard again, hanging on JJ's arm the pair wandered over with a glass in their free hands and dropped unceremoniously onto one of the black leather couches around the low table._

_The club was getting rowdier as the night wore on and a lot of the spec ops teams had left. The table was littered with empty bottles and glasses and Shepard leaned forward setting her glass amongst the chaos snorting back laughter as she pressed a hand over her mouth._

"_What have you done to her?" Hobbs asked, his eyebrows rising as he watched Shepard wipe her eyes._

"_Biotics don't drink, apparently." JJ laughed "We decided to put that theory to the test."_

"_You see!" Abigail yelled, wrenching forward and pointing a wobbling finger in Hobbs face "Biotics have super fast metabolism, which means we process alcohol much quicker which means we get drunk much quicker which means we can drink more!" She cried, throwing her hands up._

"_Or maybe it means you should drink less." Hobbs smiled "A lot less."_

_She waved him away dismissively turning to the other agents that were sitting on the opposite couch. He could hear her asking their names, loudly, and grimaced fondly at her – he had never seen her drunk before. She had told him once that Biotics really shouldn't drink, now he was beginning to understand why._

_He turned to Crow who was laughing, his face red as he held his ribs – it was quite a sight he supposed. Little, serious Tempy without restraint, laughing and talking like a Salarian on stims, he smiled taking a drink from his bottle as he watched her. _

_And then her favourite R&B song started playing. _

_Abigail leapt to her feet, almost toppling forward on to the table as she cried out in excitement._

"_It's our song!" She exclaimed, grabbing Hobbs arm "Dance with me!" _

_Hobbs blushed, pressing his hand over hers and squeezing her fingers gently, shaking his head "No. No Temps. Not here. Not that song."_

_She turned and looked down at him "Dance with me." She said her tone serious, but her eyes were still twinkling from the alcohol. Hobbs shook his head, smiling at her._

"_That song is not for a public audience." He said "We'll dance later."_

_Shepard narrowed her eyes at him "Fine." She snapped, turning so quickly he thought she would lose her balance on those heels but she didn't, instead she stepped up onto the table, knocking bottles and glasses to the floor as she cleared herself room._

"_Tempy." Hobbs warned, but she wasn't listening as hoots and whistles rose from the other operatives around the table. As the music hit the chorus she began to move, and Hobbs caught his breath making to reach for her before he was muscled back to the sofa by Crow. _

_Abigail's eyes opened painfully to daylight, and she smiled, curling in Hobbs' bed as she drew the duvet around her tighter. Our bed, she corrected herself, that same excitement seizing in her chest. She couldn't believe he had actually asked her to move in, and more, that she had done it – that she had finally confronted Anderson about his attitude toward Hobbs and left. _

_She could smell cooking and her stomach rumbled angrily, and then she remembered last night – the club, Hobbs' promotion –_

"_Oh no." She groaned, burying her head in the pillow._

"_Oh no is right." It was Hobbs and she peeled the duvet back enough to peer an eye out at him. He stood in the doorway with a mug of coffee in his hand and smiled at her. He was in nothing but grey pyjama bottoms, the elastic waist barely holding on at his hips as he moved toward her and sat on the edge of the bed._

"_How are you feeling?" He asked her offering the mug. _

_She took it gingerly, her face blossoming with heat as she took a sip. It was his coffee, strong and heady and just the way she liked it. She handed it back to him and he took a drink, his green-blue eyes watching her over the rim of the mug. _

"_What happened last night?" She asked and he almost choked on the coffee, setting the mug carefully on his legs as he flashed her that cheeky smile._

"_You don't remember?"_

_She shook her head "I think I do. But I need you to tell me – just in case it was a nightmare."_

_He laughed "It wasn't a nightmare." He said simply "You were dancing on the table."_

"_Oh no." Shepard said, her breath hitching in her throat._

_He nodded slowly "And you took your clothes off."_

"_Oh no!" She flopped back on the pillow, burying her head under the duvet._

"_And then you tried to give Crow a lap dance." _

"_Stop!" Her muffled voice sounded under the blanket and he laughed setting the mug on the floor before climbing under beside her. In the dim light under the duvet her face still looked incredibly red and he swept dark hair aside as he kissed her gently. _

"_I have to go." He said quietly "We have a mission. I'm due to report in in less than hour – I'm glad you woke up before I had to leave."_

"_Oh." She said in a small voice, her fingers threading into his hair "How long will you be away?"_

_He shook his head "I don't know Tempy." He smiled "I'll try and get word to you somehow though." He chuckled at her pout, kissing the bottom lip gently "And when I get back," He added, swinging the duvet back as he climbed out of the bed "Maybe you can show me – and not Crow – that dance again."_

* * *

Abigail forced Hobbs from her mind as she raced into the clearing of the compound where an armoured Atlas was slaughtering the quarians. They had ran ahead, against the plan, when they had spotted Veetor again intending to fly him from the colony before Cerberus could speak with him and now they were paying the price.

Miranda and Jacob deliberately hung back, letting the YMIR Mech slaughter them needlessly, but Shepard couldn't bring herself to stand and watch. Legs pumping she tore through the compound, skidding behind cover as the mech barrelled Prazza over and shot him in the face.

She heard Tali cry out over her radio and ground her teeth – she couldn't just sit back and watch the mech kill her friend, even if Tali was being distant – that didn't matter – Shepard could still remember the conversations they had had on the Normandy, late into the night about pilgrimage, quarian culture and all other manner of girl topics.

Rolling from her cover she approached the mech, not entirely sure what she was going to do with it. Her scanner showed shields and she quickly functioned a sabotage, shorting the shields long enough to get some shots in. The mech whirled to face her, firing rounds and rockets her way which she somehow managed to dodge.

She could barely think as she rushed the mech on instinct alone throwing a train of biotic energy toward it as she skidded low, rounds pumping past her, barely missing her face. The biotic blast hit the mech with force sending it stumbling back and the sound of gunfire picked up behind her as Miranda and Jacob finally joined the fight.

Aiming her pistol Shepard shot the mech in the head as it closed on her, the glass front shattering and sparking as it paused mid-walk, fuses shorting and she ducked behind cover just before it exploded in a bright display of wires and smoke.

Jacob and Miranda joined her, moving to the sealed bunker as they examined the locked door and Shepard hesitated, looking to where Tali was treating one of her wounded. She wanted to move to her, to check she was ok, but she was right – two years had passed and Tali was a different person. It seemed only yesterday to Shepard she had shared lunch with the quarian. Time was something she was going to have to learn to accept.

"I think we've got it." Jacob said turning back to her and Shepard readied her pistol as the door to the bunker hissed open.

The room inside was dark, lit only by a wall of console screens that flashed and blinked different images over and over as the quarian sitting in the seat in front of them tapped furiously on the controls. He was muttering to himself so fast Shepard couldn't make out his words – only key ones here and there 'monster' and 'hide'.

Shepard glanced to Miranda who rolled her eyes – clearly Cerberus were still as xenophobic as ever. She sighed, taking a step toward the quarian, holstering her pistol. "Veetor?" She asked.

"No, no Veetor." The quarian replied hurriedly "Not here. Swarms can't find. Monsters coming. Have to hide." He was hyperventilating, the speaker on his suit screaming as he sucked in heavy breaths and blew them out.

Shepard moved a little closer "No one is going to hurt you." She said gently.

"I don't think he can hear you Commander." Jacob said gently and Shepard looked at him, chewing her lip as she programmed a shunt from her omnitool that took out the wall of consoles, closing the video links so instead there were screens of white snow.

Veetor was muttering again, rocking back and forth as the screens all winked out, with his distraction gone Veetor got to his feet slowly, turning to look at them.

"You.. you're human!" He said surprised "Where did you hide? How come they didn't find you?" His voice was shaky and traumatised, the darkness in the room giving the whole conversation a note of terror as Shepard held up her hands to put him at ease.

"It's ok." She said gently and then Miranda took a sharp step toward him.

"Who didn't find us?" She asked cooly and Veetor's helmet turned to her slightly, his voice wavering as he shook his head.

"The monsters." He said, his voice pained and uneven "The swarms. They find everyone."

Shepard moved forward taking control of the situation once more "We weren't here Veetor she explained. We're not survivors. Can you tell me what happened?"

The quarian began to wring his hands nervously "You don't know." He said urgently "You didn't see. But I see everything." He turned back to the consoles tapping the controls once more and the many screens became one, showing an enlarged video image of the colony. It was blurred, and at first Shepard thought it was poor picture quality, but then she realised it was something _in_ the video, like moving fog, or locusts.

"Looks like security footage." Miranda commented "He must have pieced it together manually."

Shepard narrowed her eyes as the video banked a little and from one of the cabins something emerged. It was shaped like a man, two legs and two arms, but the similarities ended there. The heads were flat and tapered toward one end, the face a wall of eyes and between them they carried what looked like giant cocoons.

"What the hell is that?" Jacob asked, and Shepard sensed him step next to her as he frowned at the image.

"My god," Miranda breathed "I think it's a Collector."

Shepard frowned, the Collector's had been a bit of a myth in Citadel space – mysterious aliens that appeared every now and then for odd trades, usually advanced tech for live subjects. Shepard had never really paid much attention to them before, now she wished she had.

"I thought they mostly kept to themselves?" She frowned glancing to Miranda.

"They usually work through intermediaries." Miranda said frowning "Like slavers or mercenaries." She shook her head "If they are somehow working with the Reapers though, that could explain what happened to the colonists."

"Hmm." Shepard frowned "And they offer advanced technologies right?" She shook her head "They could have tech to make entire colonies go dark."

"The seeker swarms." Veetor said in his haunted voice "No one can hide. The seekers find you. Freeze you. Then the monsters take you away."

"Why didn't the take you?" Shepard asked.

"Swarms didn't find me." Veetor whispered "Monsters didn't know I was here."

"Collector's aren't known for being careless." Jacob observed "Maybe his envirosuit protected him from their sensors?"

Miranda sighed "Or they were using technology specifically designed to capture humans." She said coldly "Only human colonies have been attacked."

Shepard shook her head "We can't jump to any conclusions like that Miranda." She said calmly "Cerberus is a human-centric organisation. How do you know other planets aren't being attacked and investigating like we are?"

Miranda looked at her sceptically "We know." She said firmly.

Sighing Abigail turned her attention back to Veetor "What happened next?"

Veetor shook his head "The monsters took the people onto the ship and then they left. But they'll be back. No one escapes. No one." His voice broke as he sank into that trauma and Shepard swallowed, he reminded her of herself, once upon a time when she had been pulled from Mindoir. She forced those thoughts down as she cleared her throat.

"Thank you Veetor." She said sincerely "You were really helpful."

"I studied them." Veetor rambled on "The swarms, recorded them with my omnitool. Lots of readings. Dark energy."

Miranda spoke hurriedly "We need to get that data to The Illusive Man." She said urgently "Grab the quarian and call the shuttle-"

"What?!" The voice was Tali's and Shepard swung to see her standing in the doorway "Veetor is injured! He needs treatment, not an interrogation!"

"We won't hurt him." Jacob argued "We just need to know if he knows anything else. He'll be returned unharmed."

Miranda scoffed "If you get your hands on him we'll never get the intel we need." She said derisively and Tali took a step toward her.

"I'm telling you can have his omnitool data, but let me take Veetor." She said "He needs medical attention."

Shepard swallowed, turning to face Miranda carefully "We'll take the data. Veetor goes with Tali." She said evenly and the brunette met her gaze frostily.

"On your order Commander." She bit off sharply.

Shepard nodded, as she turned she caught Tali watching her, she inclined her head "Thank you Shepard." She said honestly "I'm glad you are still the one giving orders."

Shepard gave her a smile, but it left her feeling cold and lonely as she touched the comm in her ear "We're ready for pick up." She ordered, turning back to the screens on the wall.


	30. Chapter 30

Title: Mass Effect Two Chapter Five  
Author: DinkyMew and JagesPages  
Game: Mass Effect (Two)  
Disclaimer: Bioware own all content and characters related to the Mass Effect franchise. Abigail Shepard is my own creation inspired by the character of Jane Shepard created by Bioware. Any original characters contained herein are my own creations (with the exception of Vindex Foster who is the sole property of Julie Jones and the Swagger Vasa Chronicles) and are not necessarily affiliated with Bioware. **You may not copy, edit or distribute this fanfiction as it stands without my expressed permission – thank you**

"Spec Ops"

JJ's chin was propped in her hand as she gazed out at the panoramic view of Ilium. The sun was setting and the massive skyscrapers with pink neon stripes soared into the darkening skies where rain began to fall. The city looked beautiful, but like most beautiful things in life it masked a dark underside. Illium was the entrepot between the Terminus Systems and Council space and as such the usually strict black market laws were lax here, not that she was here to break the law, but it certainly gave her extra options when gathering information from people.

JJ stirred and gently knocked her shoulder against her partners who was beside her, sleeping, gusty snores thrumming through the transport shuttle.

Crow came awake immediately, completely alert and relaxed, blue eyes wandering over the shuttle interior as he raked a hand through his blonde hair. He turned and smiled. "Did I sleep all the way here?"

She nodded and he rose, stretching to his full six foot one. He got their gear from the overhead compartments and one-shouldered the bags. He snorted when JJ pulled down her weapon of choice, the M-98 Widow sniper rifle. It weighed almost more than she did, but she carried it everywhere. It had saved their lives more than once.

"Sure you don't want to take something lighter?" he asked. "It's not like we're going to be storming Ilium."

Impish blue eyes gazed up at him. "No, this is my baby."

"Your baby weighs 39 kilograms." He said pointedly, but there was an affection to the tone that always made his words seem harmless.

"It's effective against armor, shields and biotic barriers." She countered smoothly tucking it into the carrier on her back, scrunching her shoulders forward until it settled.

"Now this bad boy," he crooned, bringing out his Samick recurve bow. He placed it in the carrier that was strapped across his chest. They had decided not to wear armour this time, just their black operative's reinforced suits.

JJ patted it fondly. "Yes, he's a badass," she agreed.

Crow stood aside for her to precede him out of the ship, down the umbilical walkway to the entrance to Ilium. He spread his arms wide once they passed through the hatch and turned; a wicked smile on his face. "Ilium, where drugs are legal as long as they're labelled and you can buy indentured servants and just about any weapon known." He nodded, his handsome face splitting into a wide grin as he rubbed his stubbled cheeks "My kind of place."

Ahead of them an asari flanked by two mechs came striding down the port walkway toward them. She looked regal – but then all asari did she supposed and she was looking right at them as she approached. JJ's hand twitched toward her pistol but didn't draw it.

"Special Operatives Bahasa and Jones," The asari said smoothly. "Welcome to Ilium."

"We were expected?" JJ met her partner's blank look. He always let her handle the diplomatic side of negotiations.

"You were cleared by Admiral Hackett of the Fifth Fleet." The asari gestured behind her. "Please, I have taken the liberty of downloading a map of our facility to your omni-tools. Liara T'soni requests you visit her in her office." She pointed. "Down the hall to the right."

"Thank you. We appreciate your hospitality." JJ waited for the asari to say something about their prominent weaponry, but she just smiled serenely.

"Enjoy your stay." With that she swept away again, the mechs following her like pets. JJ smoothed her long red hair and narrowed her eyes after the asari, something wasn't right.

"What the hell?" Crow said when they were far enough down the hall for the asari not to overhear them. "Hackett blew our covers!"

They had received carefully constructed identities that would pass any scrutiny when Hackett assigned them the mission – it didn't make sense for him to then go and blow their identities frivolously. JJ frowned. "I don't think so. I think T'soni may have something to do with it. Our covers were rock solid."

Crow sighed, rolling the muscles in his back as he stretched "Let's go find her and ask her," he said, increasing his long stride so that she had to break into a lope to keep up.

As they rounded the corner, swinging to the right, JJ stopped to admire the panoramic view of the city. She stepped close to the glass and gazed over to a steppe plateau of businesses and restaurants. "So different from Omega."

Crow settled his arm comfortably about her shoulders and for a brief moment she slipped out of the operative stance and leaned into him.

She shook her head sadly "We have to find Hobbs—we just have to!"

He gave her a cuddling squeeze and dropped a kiss on the part in her hair. "We will, sweetheart. We will." It was a solemn vow, and it offered her a little comfort. If nothing else Crow was a man of his word.

They left the scenic view and JJ rushed Crow past the vendors, knowing his penchant for always wanting to purchase mods for his bow. She had one herself to allow her to fire the Widow without the recoil breaking her arm. It was an aerodynamic brace that allowed free movement, but cushioned her arm and shoulder against the massive recoil, but like their Squad Leader Crow took modding to an extreme, clogging almost every storage space on the ship with retrofits and ammo-mods.

They took the stairs up to the admin office where they had been directed Liara would be. JJ didn't know much about the young asari other than she had worked with Shepard on the SR1 and that Hobbs was acquainted with her; that he had at some point last year been in contact with her about the time Commander Shepard's body was rumoured to be up for sale. They had tracked Hobbs to the body, but he was always a step ahead somehow and by the time they had arrived the facility was abandoned, shadow broker operatives left dead and absolutely no sign of their old Squad Leader. Not long after the rumours about Shepard's body dropped off the radar, and JJ had always assumed Hobbs had her. She had hoped he would bring her home, but they hadn't even seen him in the two year chase – just his breadcrumbs when he felt kind enough to leave some for them.

The receptionist who said her name was Nyxeris told them to go into the office across from her desk. JJ entered first. Liara had her back to them, tapping a datapad that was connected to the wall of screens in front of her. She looked stunning JJ thought, her skin a light shade of blue that seemed to reflect light as she turned to look at them. Her eyes were large and blue and moved smoothly over JJ and then over Crow, her mouth curving into a smile.

JJ had heard that Commander Shepard had a varied crew on the SR1, but Liara was a little more exotic than she had expected. She caught herself, glancing to the window as her eyes welled with tears. Commander Shepard, the title was so cold – she would always be Abby to JJ. Stupid, Crazy, paranoid Abby who had obsessive compulsive disorder and didn't know it – who stressed over the silliest things and hated having her picture taken.

Abby who bought matching shampoo and soap because having mismatched colours in the bathroom drove her insane. Abby who hid chocolate in her combats and never shared it; even with Hobbs, who often received a clobber for trying to steal some.

She shook her head, chewing the inside of her mouth as she turned her gaze back to Liara.

Liara waited until the door closed behind them. "Operatives," she said in a smooth, well-modulated tone. "Welcome to Ilium."

JJ got a nod from Crow for her to do most of the talking and folded her arms under her breasts meeting the cool gaze evenly. "Miss T'soni, it seems you have us at a disadvantage. Mind telling me how you know our real identities?"

Liara gestured to the flickering screens behind her. "I have an extensive network and it has been engineered to alert me of any activities to anyone connected to Commander Shepard."

"She's dead," Crow said bluntly and JJ closed her eyes patiently. She knew it was two years ago, but his bluntness had a way of catching her off-guard sometimes.

"But Operative Hobbins is not." Liara stated.

JJ breathed a sigh of relief – that had to be the best news they had had in some time. "Do you know where he is?"

"I know who has him and I have spent all my time since I arrived on Ilium to track him down: the Shadow Broker." Liara said cooly, blue eyes travelling carefully over their faces. Her expression was cold, unreadable.

JJ saw disappointment flare in Crow's eyes. This was not news for them. They already knew who put the hit out on Hobbs and who likely had a hold of him. Hackett had been thorough in the brief and all intel pointed toward the Shadow Broker having captured him on Omega; by the time he had contacted them they had already exhausted Omega contacts trying to track him down and were then ordered to Ilium on the suggestion that Liara had information for them; coming up against a brick wall again was beyond frustrating.

Crow sighed heavily, moving his shoulders lazily "If that's all you got…"

JJ nudged him in the ribs not so eager to let the asari go. "Has anything new come in to help you locate him?"

"Actually, since you are here." Liara glanced up to make sure her assistant wasn't in the room. "I do need help with something."

Crow rolled his eyes. "Of course you do," he muttered.

JJ smiled. "Quid pro quo, Miss T'soni. We do something for you; you help us find Hobbs." It wasn't negotiable.

Liara returned the smile, but there was frostiness in her large blue eyes. She explained what she needed done, and, before Crow could put his foot in his mouth again, JJ pulled him out of the office.

"Just once, I wish we could hand over some credits and get the data we need," he groused. "I hate jumping through hoops."

She craned her neck back so she could look at him and he dropped a kiss on the tip of her nose. "I know," she agreed. 'But how hard can it be hacking into some terminals for her?"

Crow was still irritated, stuffing a finger down the collar of his reinforced suit as he kept pace with her "I see why asari bug Hobbs so much. That superior attitude." Crow sighed, mouth set in determination. "Let's get this over with. We'll split up. It'll make it go faster."

JJ watched him go smiling fondly as he continued to mutter and complain to himself. She knew he was as worried as she was about Hobbs, it was half the reason they had been assigned the task of tracking him down – because they would do anything before carrying out the shoot to kill order; and despite their desperate stance the Alliance didn't want to lose Hobbs. He was their best agent.

She smiled; he had come a long way from the gritty bar brawler she had met so many years ago – before she knew Abigail, before she knew Crow. Things had been a bit different back then…

_Julia Jones entered the place. A fight club, she thought. What am I doing in a fight club on my birthday? But __he __fought here. She'd seen him in the gym working out several times, never making eye contact, watching him pummel the bag until his traps were red from the exertion, as red as her face._

_If anyone told her she left her dorm room with the purpose of getting laid, she'd have told them they were crazy. There was something about this guy, other than the obvious muscles and charm. There was something lonely behind his eyes, something that appealed to her._

_He appealed to the wilder side of her nature. She had one, but she kept it buried deep; hidden – the Alliance didn't like wild; wild was unpredictable. Raised in a good home with wonderful parents and siblings, she had no excuse for seeking out someone like him, but here she was. Borrowed her best friend's outfit which consisted of skin tight jeans and a see-through black top, just revealing glimpses and flashes and thigh-high boots somebody had once given her as a joke on another birthday._

_Sweet, demure Julia. She hated the name Julia. It meant "youthful" and "love's child" and fit her in a way, but she wanted to break away from the cloying sweetness and goodness, just for one night, if he'd bite. If he would even look at her._

_Hobbs wove his way through the spectators, clamouring hands touching him senselessly as he was led away from the ring. His hands throbbed but he felt good, wiping sweat from his face he removed his gum shield, rolling his shoulders as he pressed toward the bar. All that fighting had left him thirsty and he had to pass some time while they gathered his credits – he had mercs to pay. Mercs that were out for blood. _

_He nodded to the bartender whose face split into a maniacal grin as he passed him his usual – a tall glass of cold water. "Another great win for the undefeated skin bag." The batarian rumbled "I must be about the only batarian in here that likes you kid."_

"_Just about." Hobbs smiled, hunching his shoulders as he passed the glass between his hands. He sniffed, wiping a hand over his brow again as he glanced down the bar flies. A few were regulars, and then right at the end was a red-head he had never seen before. _

_She looked feisty, skin-tight jeans clinging in the right places and he tipped back in his stool, craning his neck to get a better look. "Who's that?" He asked the bartender and the batarian paused in shining a glass to tip his gaze to the end of the bar._

"_No idea." He said with a smile "Cute though. For a human. Too good for you kid." He laughed and Hobbs smiled, nodding in agreement. Taking his glass of water he sidled down the bar, aware that he was half naked and bruised and bloodied and sweaty, but figured if she could see past that he might be in luck tonight. _

"_You." He said flashing her a smile as he ducked onto the stool beside her "Do not look like you belong here."_

_Her eyes widened and she cautioned internally, "Be cool, be cool." She returned his smile. It was a nice smile; it reached his eyes. They were turquoise, she realized and for a moment she was lost in the green-blue pools, then she saw a flicker in them and knew the silence was stretching too long._

"_Sorry," she said. "I was lost in my thoughts. Good bout."_

"_Good bout?" He smiled raising his eyebrows "You're a seasoned spectator then. Funny I don't think I've seen you here before." He took a drink from his glass. _

"_You're right; it's not my kind of place, but, today's my birthday and I wanted to do something completely different. You ever feel that way?" She brushed her fingers through her long red hair and circled a fingernail through the condensation from her drink on the bar._

"_It's your birthday?" He asked quietly and when she nodded he flashed her that grin again "And you're here alone." He said carefully, puzzled "For your birthday."_

_She smiled, moving her shoulders "Maybe I wasn't looking for company." She said, her cheeks flushing pink and Hobbs noticed it, looked away to save her modesty as he glanced back down the bar and then turned so he was facing her dead on, catching her blue eyes in his vice gaze as he cocked a lopsided smile at her. _

"_Or maybe." He said quietly "You were just looking for the right company." He nodded "But I can take a hint." He said, taking his glass in one hand as he hopped off the stool. He paused, with his free hand lifting her fingers carefully from her glass and brushing his lips over her knuckles "Happy Birthday." He said, lips whispering over the skin of her hand. And then he let her go, swinging back toward the top of the bar. _

_The perfect setup to divine intention. If the girl was interested, surely she would throw him a lifeline. He took a long drink from the water glass, raking his free hand through his hair as he moved back to his original seat at the bar. _

_Julia was almost hyperventilating at her end of the bar. What should she do? She knew what she wanted to do. She wanted those same lips that had just brushed tantalizingly over her knuckles to take her breath away as he crushed them to her mouth. She wanted the tongue that was lazily playing with the toothpick he'd just inserted into the corner of his mouth, to duel with hers. She wanted those sweaty, bruised hands all over her body._

_Was he really going to just sit there? She called the bartender over. "That man at the end. Give him anything he wants," she said, dropping a credit chit._

_The batarian raised his expression at her, all four eyes blinking as he shook his head "I don't know about you girls." He said but nevertheless moved back to Hobbs._

_He leaned over the bar grinning at him "I see your charm works as well as your fists." He said with a low, throaty chuckle "Drinks on the lady at the end."_

_Hobbs shook his head "I don't drink." He said carefully. _

"_Well," The bartender shrugged "She said you could have anything you want. Your call kid."_

_Hobbs smiled, shifting the toothpick in his mouth carefully as he took another drink from the glass. Gathering his nerve he got off the stool again moving back down the bar, he rubbed his aching shoulder gently and moved beside her, leaning an elbow on the bar top as he leaned his head round to look into her eyes. _

_She started, sitting back and he corrected his angle flashing a cheeky grin for her "What's your name?"_

_She fumbled with her words, blushing as she tried to regain her cool "Julia." She said._

"_Julia." He nodded "Does that come with a last name?"_

_She smiled "Jones." And then frowned "Why?"_

_Hobbs moved his shoulders "I don't take gifts from strangers JJ." He quipped "I'm Hobbs." He sucked in a breath turning to lean both elbows on the bar "Anything I want." He said, and then he looked at her, drawing his bottom lip between his teeth as he smiled "Maybe that should be your call. It is your birthday after all." He inclined his head "Tell me what you want, I'll make it happen." His eyes flashed fire as he caught her gaze._

_Don't blush, she thought, feeling heat rise in every part of her body__. "I wish…that you would be my present." __Did I actually just say that? JJ, he called me - JJ. OH, my God, this is really going to happen. __She met the flashing eyes so close to her and she smiled. "Just so you know, I'm not a slut. But," she held up a finger to forestall him from speaking. "But, I want to be slutty with you, Hobbs. I've had many so-so birthdays, but this one I want to linger in my memory for a long time. One night with you would be the best birthday present a girl like me could want."_

"_I'm not looking for a relationship." He warned her carefully "I'm not that guy. Never will be"_

"_That's ok." She whispered and he caught her hand in his, pulling her off the stool and against him. She crashed against hard, bare skin and he grinned dipping his head, bumping noses as he coaxed her to raise her mouth to his. Her lips parted as she sucked in a breath and he kissed the cherry of her lip gently, backing off before she could properly get a hold of him. _

"_I think." Hobbs said, threading his fingers through hers "This would work better somewhere a bit quieter." He drew in his bottom lip and raised his eyebrows "You game?"_

_JJ couldn't breathe, she was sure this was what suffocation must be like – only it was totally not. Hobbs battered her into the apartment, and she was barely able to keep her feet as he walked her backwards, one thumb in the loop of her jeans anchoring her hips against his, the other tangled in the length of her hair as he kissed her and kissed her and kissed her some more. _

_It was everything she had dreamed, those full, cupid-bow lips seemed to find every hidden recess inside her and set it on fire. There was a hunger to his movements, a gaze he flashed her between kisses that whispered to a primal darkness inside her – it was the look of a predator, a hunter._

_The drums started, the hunt was on. _

_He backed her into a room at the end of a hallway, she managed to glimpse a refrigerator as he backed her up against the counter. Her back struck tile and she gasped against his mouth, expecting him to switch tact, or move to another room, but he didn't. _

_The thumb in the loop of her jeans tugged, lifting her far too easily as he sat her on the counter, hands coming firmly to her thighs as he squeezed through her jeans, his grip just this side of bruising, leaving her aching with sweet, wondrous want. _

_He backed off, only enough to get his hands on the zipper of her boots, yanking them from her and then he was back, pressing to her greedily, her hands fluttering onto his shoulders as he kissed down her throat, sank teeth into her shoulder that sent a frisson of heat and lust up her spine. _

_He pulled back hands moving deftly to the zipper of her jeans and JJ caught her breath, helping him as she wriggled free. _

"_You sure about this?" He asked her, his voice was deep and husky and velvety and she shivered against him unable to speak and so simply nodded emphatically, wrapping her arms around his neck. _

_He smiled, the sensation like a shooting star against her mouth as he lifted her, turning and moving toward the hallway once more. She locked her ankles at his back surprised by how easily he could carry her, but then she supposed that made sense. He was rippling with strength. _

_They made it to the bedroom, just, and Hobbs dropped her on the bed from waist height so she bounced back on the mattress a little. She blinked at him, stunned by the motion, and by the sight of him unzipping his own jeans. He didn't take them off though, instead he moved to the bed, kneeling between her legs as he crawled over her his eyes coming over her own again as that dark gaze came over his face once more. _

_He kissed her and she closed her eyes, flashes of him fighting painting dark scenes in her mind as she felt that overwhelming struggle to breathe seize her chest once more. His hands gripped her body, fingers considering the buttons of her blouse before he made a noise, something akin to a moan low in his throat and then yanked it open roughly, the buttons breaking from the fabric as his hands slid inside against raw, waiting flesh. _

_Her back bowed, hips arching as she tried to get close to him, and he smiled, pushing down on her chest, flattening her back on the mattress once more, spreading his fingers gently over her ribs, down the flat of her stomach, rolling over the rise of her hip and grazing the skin at her inner thigh. _

_Julia could hear those drums again; his eyes that looked black in the dim light, and she was his prey. Her heart began to skip and thump in time with the drum – or maybe it was one and the same thing – thundering against her ribs so loud she was sure he could hear it as he kissed her, his tongue pressing into her mouth as a single finger pressed somewhere else making her cry out as she pulled him to her. _

_He was caught off guard, his arms giving way and he crashed onto her, the contact of his skin setting her alight as she arched her back under him, the angle drawing his hesitant caress to where she ached for him the most; his touch there drew a moan from her and he responded by grinning against her mouth._

_She reached for him, winching his jeans open just enough as she pulled on his hips drawing him into her. _

_Julia who chose to call herself JJ from that day forward, hunted for her clothing in the dark. Hobbs was nice enough to go into another room while she pulled on the torn top and yanked on her jeans. Her body throbbed from his love making and it took a while for her to be able to find the strength to pull on the boots._

_She expected to feel cheap, but she didn't. He had been totally honest with her that he wasn't looking for a relationship. Their raw, sexual encounter had indeed been the best birthday present ever. She paused in the doorway and saw he was gazing out the window, another toothpick in his mouth. That incredible mouth that had kissed her senseless.  
_

"_I…thank you for that, Hobbs."_

_He smiled turning away from the window as he moved to her not in the slightest way bashful about walking around naked. "Don't thank me JJ." He said "Makes me feel… awkward." He gave her a smile – a nervous smile – and behind it she thought she could see a glimpse of the man under that cool armour he wore; the man that hid in the depths of the fighter that had taken her so fiercely. _

_He cleared his throat, obviously revealing more than he had intended and folded his arms over his chest, leaning against the doorframe.__ "Will you be able to get home ok?" He paused "I should probably give you my number. Can you..." He laughed a little, almost embarrassed "Can you call when you get back - just so I know you got home ok?"_

_She laughed a little self-consciously. "I'll tell you what, Hobbs, just so we keep this the way we wanted it, I'll call the bar and the bartender can call you." Her eyes met his. "You're kind of addictive, so if I had your number I might call you more than once. It's better this way. We keep it just one night of mind-blowing sex."_

_She touched the sensor panel and the door to his place opened. He was framed in the door, leaning against the door frame. Her eyes roved his naked body one last time, committing it to memory. She rushed over and kissed his cheek. "Best birthday present ever!" she said, smiled and walked out of his flat._

JJ blushed at the memory as she fed the last information from the hacked terminal to Liara via her omnitool. Hobbs had been a different man back then, if he could have been called that – the animalistic nature still came out in him, but it got rarer and rarer the longer he was with Abby. It was as though her very presence had soothed the beast inside somehow.

There were three security terminals, all in the southern section of the Nos Astra area. She met Crow at the last one and giggled at the expression on his face. "What?"

He looked pained sighing as he leaned into her "She didn't say you had to follow the beeps and look like an ass while you do it."

She giggled again. "Oh, honey, anybody who saw wouldn't get past all those muscles."

He looked mollified. "Ya think?"

She nodded and he bent and kissed her on the mouth. She caressed his jaw, then turned and squared her shoulders. "Let's see what our little asari has to say now."

Minutes later, Crow was fuming as they walked down the steps from the Administration office. He did a simpering female voice, "Oh, thank you so much, operatives Jones and Bahasa. I must have more time to figure out the next step, blah, blah, blah…" He patted the pistol in its holster at his waist. I wanted to put my gun to her head and say 'Lady, either you tell us what we need to know or I blow your brains out over that big-ass desk!'"

JJ shook her head. "She's a powerful biotic."

"I can deal with a biotic." Somewhere he'd found a toothpick and kept switching it from one side of his mouth to the other, a habit he'd picked up from Hobbs and JJ flushed looking away from him.

"We need her," she reminded him. "Besides, she paid us 2,000 credits. You can hit the arms shop like you've wanted to do since we got here." She was placating him and she knew he knew she was, but it would also help pass the time.

"I can think of a better way to while away the hours," he said, leering at her.

"Not by shopping? I'm shocked—I really am." JJ snorted. "Did you see the dress Liara was wearing?"

He chuckled. "Yeah, that shade of green clashes with her shade of blue. At least her assistant's matched her purple skin."

"Does she have it poured on and then it hardens to her figure?" JJ asked rolling her eyes. She smacked his arm when he seemed to be considering that mental picture.

"I was serious. Why don't we go back to the ship?" He leered again and licked his lips suggestively.

"Because the team's on the ship and it has thin walls." She blushed.

He gestured to the hotel across the way that could be seen from the viewing window. JJ sighed. "Tempting as that is, we really should be hacking the other five terminals she asked us to. I have a feeling Hobbs won't be kept alive much longer and God only knows what they've been doing to him." He always did have a habit of getting himself in trouble.

He looked glum. "I'll put a bullet in everyone who's laid a hand on him and that's a promise." He made a fuck-you gesture in the air. "Okay, let's split up again, but keep in touch since we're doing a bit of detective work this time trying to find The Observer."

JJ trotted off, depending on the HUD located on the map Liara had provided their omni tools. She went north, seeing the arrow start to ping as she went up a flight of stairs and ended up in the Eternity Bar. She found the terminal near the computer dais where an asari matriarch tended to customers.

She found another terminal in the eastern section of the parquet. Crow's voice echoed in her ear. "Found two. All we lack is one. On my way to it. Meet me at her office."

_The club was busy and JJ was enjoying the atmosphere as she wound through the Alliance cadets. There was a nice mix of fresh recruits and graduates from the neighbouring Blue Horizon facility – she had no idea what they were graduating from, rumours said it had something to do with biotics, but JJ could never be sure. They looked normal enough, dressed normal enough – the only distinguishing feature the small gold badge they were all wearing pinned to their various outfits. _

_She swept her hair over her shoulder, glancing nervously to the entrance of the club. She had left an invite with the batarian bartender at the fight club, and secretly she was hoping Hobbs might make an appearance. After all, you didn't live on Arcturus if you didn't at least support the Alliance. She wanted to see him again; had wanted so see him again since she had left his apartment but had thus far resisted the temptation to go back to the fight club and seek him out. _

"_Awesome party." Someone drawled next to her and she turned in time to see a bodybuilder type take a seat beside her "Crowded though."_

_She rolled her eyes, glancing to the bar where she saw him – Hobbs – and held her breath. He was speaking to a brunette, that charming smile on his handsome face as he laughed and it looked so genuine that it gave her pause. The girl was speaking animatedly, hands moving and he leaned his head on his hand listening to her. He looked smart, she thought idly, dressed in jeans and a shirt – old fashioned tastes considering the fashion today, but he looked good. _

_She thought about going to speak with him, but decided against it as she turned her attention back to the bodybuilder "Do you need something?" She asked archly and he grinned at her. _

"_Funny, I was about to ask you the same thing honey."_

_She grimaced getting to her feet "I'm not your honey." She said sharply and strode away from him – right into the path of Hobbs as he was cutting away from the brunette at the bar. _

_He paused, looking at her, recognition sparking on his face as he made a noise – something between surprise and acknowledgement. _

"_Ah!" He smiled "JJ." He tipped a glass toward her "Thanks for the invite."_

_She paused, feeling awkward as she nodded "No problem. Having fun?"_

_He smiled, glancing back to the bar and back to her "Actually I am." He said and he sounded mildly surprised "I can't hang though…" He looked as though he was going to say more and then he paused "You know the people here?"_

_She moved her shoulders "I checked the roster." _

"_Who's the brunette at the bar?" He asked, and he tried to make it sound so casual that she couldn't help but smile at him._

"_I met her earlier." JJ said firmly "Her name is Shepard. Abigail Shepard."_

"_Shepard." He nodded "I have to go- but thanks." He smiled and she watched him as he muscled through the crowd toward where a man was waiting. She thought she recognised him from campaign posters or something but the memory eluded her as she turned back to the dance floor. _

_The brunette was dancing, shimmying against her friend and JJ caught her breath moving toward her. She had spoken with her briefly and she had seemed nice enough, she had mentioned she wanted to join the Alliance and that made JJ curious. Just as she approached though the bodybuilder appeared again, his hand landing heavily on her shoulder as he spun her around to face him. _

"_I think we were talking babe." He said gruffly. _

"_Not interested." JJ ground out and his grip tightened on her shoulder a little. _

"_She said she's not interested." A voice interrupted and JJ turned to see Abigail by her side, blue eyes boring into the man "That means let her go." _

_For someone so small she commanded presence, the look in her eyes enough to intimidate even this giant apparently as he ticked his gaze from Shepard to JJ and back again. He removed his hand, turning back into the crowd and JJ turned to her mouthing a thanks. _

"_That's ok." Abigail smiled "We met earlier, Abigail."_

_JJ nodded "JJ." She said with a smile._

Abigail had been her best friend. They had done everything together – compared notes on guys, talked late into the night about nothing and everything – been there when they had cried, and laughed and worried. She missed her like a part of her soul had died.

JJ watched the sensor map on her omnitool, following the blip closely that represented her partner. She climbed the stairs to Liara's office once more and waited. When he joined her he looked just as harassed as when he had left her side and she smiled at him, amused at his temperament.

This time the receptionist didn't say anything to them, Nyxeris simply nodded before they entered Liara's office again together.

Liara turned to face them as they entered, folding her arms over her chest demurely as she gestured to the seats on the other side of her desk. Both operatives remained standing.

"None of these people match the parameters for the Observer," Crow told Liara. "All of the suspects are male, yet the Observer seems to be female." There was an awkward silence as Liara seemed to be processing thoughts, her brow creased in thought as her gaze wandered the length of her desk absently.

Behind they heard the door open as the receptionist walked in looking hesitant.

Liara looked up and looked annoyed. "Not right now, Nyxeris." She bit off but the receptionist didn't move. Instead she sucked in a heavy breath and reached behind her back.

"It will only be a matter of time," Nyxeris said, and a gun appeared from behind her.

It took only a second for Crow to pull his bow, notch an arrow and let it fly. It struck Nyxeris in the neck and blood sprayed to the ceiling as the explosive round ignited.

"She was the Observer," he said, moving aside as the body dropped to the floor. "Some information broker you are, lady. You hired a traitor."

As Liara started to glow blue, he notched another arrow. "Lady, I guarantee I can fire this before you throw or lift or singularity me." It was a bluff; he had fought biotics before and he knew how difficult they were to take down.

JJ's gun was out and pointed at Liara. "And I will defend my partner to the death."

Liara's biotic power winked out. "I…apologize. I just wasn't expecting." She turned away from them, pressing fingers to her forehead as she shook her head.

"We've been damn patient," Crow said through bared teeth. "That ends now. I want the location of the Shadow Broker and I want it now!"

"I know you do not want to hear this, but I must have time to process the data you gathered. I promise I will get in touch with you as soon as I know something." Liara said absently, sitting at her desk once more, she looked like she knew more than she was willing to tell them and that irked JJ – she hated being in the dark.

"You have 24 hours," Crow said and stalked out of the office. He glanced back, almost hesitant as his eyes ticked to the body on the floor and the pool of blood spreading on the white tiles. "Sorry about the mess."

JJ backed out of the room, her gun still drawn. She swatted his behind. "What the hell, Crow? Shooting off an explosive round in such close proximity?"

"Half strength," he said, grinning down at her. "I'd never put you in danger, honey-baby."

She laughed—he could always get over her by using his pet names. "So, you suspected there'd be trouble?"

He gave her a quizzical look. "You didn't? Something was hinky about this whole thing from the beginning. She better not take off on us."

JJ shook her head. "I don't think she will. Shepard trusted her and I say we extend that trust to her."

"Long as she doesn't blow it." He draped an arm around her waist and pulled her against him. It was hard to walk with the differences in their height, so he settled that by taking her hand.

"What's with all the affection in public?"

"I want people to know you're my girl."

"I was a girl eight years ago. I'm a woman now." She said firmly and he smiled.

He growled into her hair and jerked her around to face him. "All woman." He pulled her off her feet and she had to entwine her arms about his neck. "I want you to kiss me, right here, right now—in front of everyone," he added.

Suddenly, she felt shy. "Put me down, nutcase!"

"I'm nuts about you and it's about time I showed the whole world." He nuzzled her neck. "Kiss me, c-mon, kiss me—you know you want to."

She giggled and nibbled his ear. "I don't make out in public."

"Hotel it is," he said stepping back so she either had to hang on and look silly or let go. He bent down quickly so attention wouldn't be drawn to them in a negative way. He winked at her. "You're just a little thing."

"And you're so tall."

"Be happy it's me and not Hobbs. He'd look like one of those skyscrapers in the skyline."

"24 hours will be up pretty fast," she commented and looked down when her stomach rumbled. "I guess I'm hungry."

"Tell you what, baby-cakes, you get us a hotel room and I'll get us some food. Sound good?"

She beamed a smile up at him. "Very good."

They parted company and Crow watched until she was out of sight. He activated his omni-tool and beamed when he read the amount in his bank account. Enough. Finally-with the additional $5,000 credits Liara had paid them, it was enough. It was time.

He entered the market district, browsing store fronts before he selected one he thought was appropriate. An attendant hurried over when he entered the clothing store. "What may I do for you, sir?"

Crow stroked his chin and frowned. He needed a shave, he thought.

The attendant was a salarian and his eyes roamed over Crow. "Oh, my, my!" he gushed. "I'll bet you have a problem finding clothing that will fit such a magnificent physique. We get so few humans here, but I know I can find you something." The salarian held up one three-fingered hand. "And we have a barber shop as well in case you want to freshen up."

Crow batted his eyelashes at the attendant. "And what, fine sir, do you suggest?"

"Do you mind stepping into one of the private rooms?" The attendant scanned him, getting his measurements. Crow shrugged and stepped into the opulent room. There was a full length, gilt mirror on one wall and he paused giving himself a cocky grin as he waited. Another attendant knocked softly and when he bid them enter, she smiled and left a tray with expensive liquor sparkling in a fluted glass.

"Classy joint," he muttered, feeling so out of place he almost fled, but JJ was worth it, he reminded himself lifting the glass.

The salarian knocked and came in, bringing three suits which he laid out on the chaise. "Any strike your fancy?"

Crow was starting to think this was a bad idea. He'd never owned a civi suit since he'd joined the Alliance. He could feel he was sweating under his armpits.

"That one," he said."

The salarian rubbed its hands together. "Oh, I was hoping you'd choose that one. It compliments your eyes. I _must_ say few men have such piercing blue eyes."

"Must you?" Crow asked, giving the fawning attendant a pained look.

"Step into the booth and try it on with this shirt and tie, please."

Crow scratched his neck, sighed and took the articles of clothing. He stripped his special ops armor off and put on the shirt, tucking it into the pants before he buckled the belt around his trim waist. The tie was beyond him and he threw it over one shoulder in disgust. He slipped on the jacket and risked a look in the mirror. The suit was black—he had no idea what color the shirt was and it had neon stripes. Lovely. Thank God Hobbs wasn't there to see it or he'd never hear the end of it. Sighing, he exited the booth.

"Ah, I see you need help with the tie. Allow me." The salarian took the tie. "My you are a tall one, aren't you?"

Crow stooped a little so the salarian could pull the tie around his neck and secure it with a flourish.

The salarian fanned its face. "You look delicious!"

Forget the shave, he thought, feeling the color flood to his face. "How much?" He just wanted out of there as fast as possible.

The attendant named a figure and Crow's eyebrows crept into his hairline. "_How_ much?!"

"Oh, oh, wait, oh, I am so sorry, sir." The attendant was looking at his computer. " Liara T'soni has sent word to all the establishments on Ilium that you are exempt from being charged." He beamed at Crow. "She's given you carte blanche as the French of your kind say."

Crow stepped out of the store, his walk jaunty, humming under his breath. He made three more stops, and then headed to the hotel.

JJ glanced at the door again, hoping to see Crow come through it. For one, she was hungry; two she was wondering what the hell her partner was up to. She'd followed his blip from place to place. What he was doing, she could only wonder, flopping down on the bed, then immediately getting up to pace the room.

"Where are you, Gage?" she murmured. "Did T'soni rope you into another of her schemes?"

She discarded that comment because she knew he would've gotten in touch with her before he went off on his own. He wasn't tied to her because they were partners—had been for eleven years—but it was just common courtesy. As time crawled by, she lay down on the bed and fell asleep.

Crow arrived to find her curled on her side, clutching a pillow to her cheek. The sight touched him so deeply he couldn't speak for a long moment. He just stood and drank in the sight of this woman that he loved.

He put the take-out on the small kitchenette counter. He saw her nose twitch like a little space hamster and he grinned. "Wake up, sleepy head."

She sat up and yawned, rubbing her eyes. When her hands lowered and she saw him for the first time, her mouth dropped open and her eyes widened. "Are we going to a ball?"

He laughed. "How do I look?"

"Like a stranger." She pulled her knees to her chin. "What's going on, Crow? You've been gone for two hours."

He avoided the question lifting the carry out bag "Hungry?"

"Starving."

"Get your lazy butt up then and eat."

She almost flew off the bed to the kitchenette, rummaging through the bags of Chinese take-out. "Ooh, my favorites!" she moaned, sniffing each container as she opened it. "Where's yours?"

He looked at her and then shook his head smiling "Ha-ha."

"You think I'm kidding?" She arched a brow at him mock seriousness. "You'll have to wrestle me for some."

He chuckled and sat down on the sofa, content to watch her eat. She glanced over at him and stuck out her tongue. "Okay, Crow, that's just creepy." She put down the last container. "I left you half of each," she added.

"I'm not hungry."

"I have to ask, why the suit?" She joined him on the sofa.

"You don't like it?" He sounded almost genuinely hurt.

"It's not the 'you' I know, but you look nice in it."

"I just wanted to clean up for you." He said, grinning.

"What are you up to?" She sat up and cradled his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her. "I like you the way you are- in jeans or Special Ops garb." One hand fell to the tie and she gave it a tug. "A tie? It's a tie occasion?"

He slid off the sofa and stood and pulled her to the window where they could watch a view of the night sky of Ilium. He fished a small red velvet box out of his lapel pocket and held it up. JJ started to back up, but he reached out a hand and drew her back.

"Before I met you I never thought I could spend my life with a single person, but now that has changed." He opened the box and a diamond sparkled in the light. "Because now I know I _can't_ spend the rest of my life without you, JJ."

"What are you? Are you?" JJ gasped as he took the ring from the case and slid it on her finger up to the knuckle.

He gazed deeply into her eyes. "JJ, will you marry me?"

"Gage…"

He tilted his head. "Please?"

"Yes!" She watched as he slid the ring on all the way. "It's beautiful! It must've cost a fortune!" She held it up so it flashed in the light. "It's a frigging rock!" She threw herself into his arms, bowling hi over to the floor.

"Hey," he said, laughing, trying to fend her off when she straddled him. "Watch the suit."

She hopped off him and gave him a hand up. "Take it off," she told him. "I want my husband-to-be naked. Right now."

"That goes for my wife-to-be, well, after you try on for me the present I have in the silver bag." He gave her a suggestive wink.

JJ walked over to where he'd set the bag and brought out a box. "This is for me?"

"Actually, it's for me." He was having trouble loosening the tie and ended up pulling it out of the shirt collar, shedding the jacket and shirt.

She opened the box and pulled out a leopard thong. "Uh, Crow, this _is_ for you, not me."

He blushed realising the salarian must have been more taken with him than he had realised. "Damn salarian," he growled. "There should be something underneath the paper."

She dug past the tissue and found a dozen red roses and a vase, which she filled with water and arranged the flowers in. She smelled them, gazed at her ring, looked at him and burst into tears.

He was at her side in an instant. "Baby, honey, sweetheart, are you crying?"

"H-happy crying," she said, laughing through her tears. Her hands traveled to the belt and opened it, then unzipped the pants, sliding them down his legs.

He stepped out of them and kicked the shiny black shoes he'd also purchased across the room.

"Strip."

She obliged and crawled on the bed, acting like a cat, arching her back and making a purring sound at him. He made a noise deep in his throat and came to the bed. "Do you have protection?"

He grinned. It was a standing joke between them – had been for some time.

"Plenty," he assured her.

"Would you do me one more itsy bitsy favor?" she asked, the curtain of hair swinging forward to conceal her breasts as she crawled towards him.

"What?" He only had on his underwear which was getting tighter and tighter by the second.

She picked up the thong she'd brought to the bed and twirled it around her finger. "Would you put that on for me?"

He grabbed the thong and tossed it across the room and then he launched his body at her. She shrieked and tried to dodge, but he was fast and he soon had her pinned down on the bed. She matched his hungry kisses, making little kitten sounds in her throat she knew drove him crazy.

"Protection?" she squeaked.

"I want kids," he said, his voice matter-of-fact, like they were discussing the weather.

"What?"

"Not now, but some day-one of each flavor ya know. Daddy's little girl and a son to toss the ball to." His words were flecked with humour but there was a sincerity there that gave her pause, made her stop and look at him carefully.

"What does that leave me?" She asked honestly.

"You'd be such a great mother. You have such a caring nature- so nurturing, so maternal." He parted her legs with one knee. "A baby, would that be such a bad thing?"

"Do we _really_ have to talk about this now?"

"How you feel about it kinda determines something for me." He kissed her long, hard and deep, then let her come up for air.

"Some day I want kids," she said, seeing that he really wanted an answer.

He sighed and left her for a moment, coming back with a condom in his teeth. He broke the seal and looked at it, sighing again.

"Want me to help?" She blushed when his fierce eyes almost burned her alive. He turned his back on her and she sat up, feeling bereft. "Gage," she said softly.

"I'm sure you have your reasons."

"Crow, you can't spring something like this on me. It's not fair! We just got engaged."

He spun around shoulders heaving. "I'm from a big family, JJ. We've been together as partners eleven years. We've been lovers ten. I'm not fucking springing this on you!"

JJ recoiled from his anger and remorse flooded into his face. "I'm a jerk. I'm sorry." He snuggled into her neck as his arms came around her. "I'm sorry, honey. I guess I got carried away by the moment." He kissed her cheek. "You forgive me?"

"I'm not mad at you, Crow. But for now, while we're still in Ops, I don't want a baby. I couldn't stand being at home worrying about you—not being there to back you up. It would kill me."

"Okay, condom it is," he said and she helped him slide it on. "I love you, JJ."

"I love you, Gage. Can that love be enough for right now?"

He nodded. "Absolutely. Mark it down to temporary insanity on my part."

They made love, born from intensity, from the insanity of their job, tore down any walls between them with passion, skin on skin, heartbeat to heartbeat, lips locked, becoming one, building to a crescendo of incredible force. He shouted into her mouth and she screamed into his, her hands fisting into the rumpled sheet, their bodies quaking as wave after wave of desire ripped through them.

And afterwards, came the sweet languor of limbs tangled, his arm about her waist, spooning her to him. Her lying there staring at her ring, eyelids slowly drooping as his breathing changed and he snored softly into her neck. A small smile of contentment and JJ fell asleep in his arms.

Until…

"Wassat," he muttered sleepily as a sound penetrated.

JJ yawned and activated her omni tool. There was a message from Liara to meet her in her office. It was urgent.

JJ hopped out of bed and smiled indulgently when Crow muttered something under his breath and reached for her, still half asleep.

"Get up," she said, tugging him into a sitting position. "Get dressed."

His hair stuck up in spikes all over his head and he rubbed the crust from his eyes, but she saw he was waking up, the fierce eye of the eagle coming over him. He jumped up, not caring he was "starkers" as Hobbs would have called it. He got dressed with the cool precision they had learned in their profession and he strapped on his crossbow and tucked his pistol in the holster.

"I got something for you," he said, going to where another bag sat on the chair near the door. He took out something and turned on the overhead light. "I know you won't want to wear your ring in the field."

She stared at the beautiful carved wooden box he gave her. She opened it and he placed her red case inside, the lid open to accept the ring he'd given her, to keep it safe. Tears gathered I her eyes but she held them back and smiled at him.

"You are so, so sweet." She patted his cheek. Heaving a sigh, she removed her ring and placed it in the case, shut it and lowered the lid. He handed her a key-card.

"Just press the blue button and it'll lock the box and activate security measures."

She laughed as she placed the box in her duffel. "We need to stop at the ship so I can drop this off. I'm not taking any chances." She gestured and he bent down so she could kiss him. "I hate taking it off."

"Every time we get back from a mission, I'll put it back on your finger, baby."

"Promise?"

He held out his pinky finger and she curled hers around it. "Pinky swear," he said grinning. "So, fiancé, ready to go kick some asari butt if she doesn't come through for us?"

"Lead the way," she said, giving one last glance to the roses on the counter and the very rumpled bed. She smiled when he took her duffel bag and hefted it over his shoulder. "We should come here for our honeymoon."

He chuckled. "We should. I want Hobbs as my best man."

"Let's go make it so."


	31. Chapter 31

Title: Mass Effect Two Chapter Six  
Author: DinkyMew and JagesPages  
Game: Mass Effect (Two)  
Disclaimer: Bioware own all content and characters related to the Mass Effect franchise. Abigail Shepard is my own creation inspired by the character of Jane Shepard created by Bioware. Any original characters contained herein are our own creations and are not necessarily affiliated with Bioware. **You may not copy, edit or distribute this fanfiction as it stands without my expressed permission – thank you**

* * *

Crow huffed a breath in annoyance when they entered Liara's office only to find her gone. There was no sign of any trouble, nor any indication that Liara had left in a hurry – but he should have known she wouldn't hold up her end of the deal; she had been shifty from the start. He bit back a curse at himself for not following his gut instincts and looked to JJ.

She raised a hand to silence him before he could vent. One of the screens was flickering strangely on Liara's desk and JJ frowned approaching it with mild trepidation. Bringing up her omni-tool JJ hacked into the system and when it asked for a password, she typed in 'Hobbs'.

Crow caught on and nodded his approval "Try Hobbins," he said when nothing happened.

JJ tried a by-pass, but the system threatened to shut down if she didn't enter the correct password. She typed 'HOBBINS' and a brief message appeared then the computer self-destructed.

"She wants us to meet her at the skycab stand in the southern section of the city." JJ led the way, taking the door just below the stairs leading to Liara's office. Crow followed reluctantly, he hated being messed around when his friend was depending on them. He curled his hands into fists as he thundered down the stairs after JJ, thoughts drifting back to the first time he had met Hobbs…

-X-O-X-

_Gage Bahasa entered the fight club with his two brothers Liam and Sean. It was Liam's birthday and he had dragged them to this dingy place. Leave it to Liam to want to get busted up for his day instead of going out to dinner or triple dates or anything vaguely fun. Gage sat on a stool at the bar and watched the barflies, completely mystified as to why he hadn't been approached by any of them. Not that he went for barflies—they tended to be too hardened and only wanted one thing. Gage glared at Liam who was over near the juke box whooping and hollering and carrying on. To say his brother was drunk was an understatement. Sean, the youngest rolled his eyes and looked bored._

"_When's the fighting start?" Sean asked Gage. _

_Gage shrugged. "First timer, so I don't know."_

_Sean had dark hair instead of blond like his two brothers. He was lean and wiry whereas they had the broad shoulders and build of their father. "Gage," he whined. "I wanna go."_

"_It's my birthday, boy-o!" Liam said boisterously._

"_Nobody's doing any fighting," Sean said._

"_The fighting starts after two am, after the bar closes," Liam supplied. "Hobbs is here tonight. And I here he's taking on all comers."_

_Gage slapped the bar sharply, rattling the shot glasses his brothers had been kicking back since they'd come in. "Liam, you idiot, you're a brawler not a fighter! He'll wipe the floor with you." Since Gage was the designated flier, he was stone cold sober._

"_Yeah, but I need the credits, dammit, Gage!" Liam pouted like he used to when he was a kid._

_It had no effect on Gage other than to irritate him. "If you think I'm letting you go in that ring…"_

_Sean looked interested as the crowd started to get restless and chant the name of the fighter that was coming through their midst._

"_Hobbs! Hobbs! Hobbs!"_

_Removing his sleeveless hooded jacket Hobbs stepped into the ring as the crowd in the fight club went wild. The roar of their noise washed over his skin like rain and he kept his eyes carefully on the floor. There was nothing worse than believing your own hype before a fight – even if the fights were going to be easy._

_He scanned the crowd, spotting Alethea at the back at her usual private table, the asari had promised him a hefty sum if he could best as many challengers as came forward – but by the looks of the crowd they were all human, so he wasn't concerned. _

_Pushing the gum shield into his mouth he moved to his corner, throwing his jacket over the ropes and waving to a gaggle of girls by the ringside, they clamoured for him but he quickly turned his back on them, now was a time he needed to be focused. Rolling the muscles in his shoulders he listened while the host announced the bouts, the crowd hushing to listen to the rules and the fighters. _

_He turned, frowning, scratching the side of his head as there were murmurs of excitement as a few men began to talk loudly, daring each other to get in the ring with him. He glanced back to the asari who was watching him like a hawk and he could almost feel the chain tighten around his neck. _

"_Hobbs!" He stopped, turning to where Shepard was climbing in through the ropes a bottle of water in her hands. She handed it to him and he took a drink, taking her elbow and leading her to the edge of the ring. _

"_You shouldn't be here." He called over the noise of the crowd "I told you Tempy, these fight clubs are not places for you."_

_She frowned at him "You need someone to tell you when you've had enough." She argued, slipping through the ropes and dropping by the ringside. He looked at her seriously, and then someone else climbed into the ring. _

_The man was large, even against Hobbs' height, and bald. Wild brown eyes looking Hobbs up and down openly and he cracked his knuckles, stepping to the middle of the ring where he made an obscene gesture. _

_Hobbs bit down on his gum shield, smiling darkly as he stepped toward the fighter. Without hesitating he launched into an attack, catching the man off guard in the first instance by not punching him, instead he launched a foot into his chest knocking him back. When he tried to regain his footing Hobbs was too fast, hitting him with a barrage of blows, ducking under the one punch he did manage to throw, round and bringing his fist down on the man's temple._

_Dead weight hit the mat and he stepped back, barely even breaking a sweat as he moved back to his corner. Waiting._

_Gage gasped at the ferocity and fleetingness of the fight. He grabbed Liam by the collar and started to pull him from the place. "You are not getting in the ring with him," Gage told him._

_Liam swung a fist at his head and Gage ducked, but his brother shucked out of his jacket, headed for the ring. Gage tried to reach him but two men stepped in front of him. "He wants to fight, let him fight," one of them said._

"_He's drunk out of his mind," Gage told them, spreading his hands, trying to reason with them._

_Gage set his mouth in a grim line and tried to push past them, but the man who had spoken gave him a rough push in the chest. Sean appeared in the crowd, egging Liam on and Gage backed away from the two men. Served his fucking brother right, he thought, but he was worried._

"_You can watch," the man who had pushed him said. Must be some kind of security or bouncer, Gage thought. "But no interference."_

_Gage made his way to the ring, trying to spot Liam. If he was lucky his stupid brother had already passed out from the alcohol. He stepped past some avid fans and stood next to a brunette, probably one of Hobbs' barflies or fans. They called them Fobbs. He rolled his eyes at that and he searched the crowd for Liam and Sean._

_He finally saw Liam on the other side of the ring, trying to climb through the ropes but he was tangled up in them and he fell on the mat with a resounding thud and the crowd rippled with laughter. Gage closed his eyes a moment. Poking fun at Liam would only piss him off._

"_Dammit," he said softly as he saw Hobbs turn from contemplating the floor to Liam who was smarting off to him._

_Hobbs watched as the man swayed toward him, sighing heavily as he held up a hand waving at him to stop "I don't fight drunk." He said firmly "Go get yourself another drink, we'll do this another day."_

_The man slurred something at him that he couldn't hear and he shook his head again "Come on mate, you need to step out of the ring." He said evenly reaching for the man's shoulder. The man swung for him and he moved out of the way letting him stagger forward off his own momentum, the crowd laughing and Hobbs grimaced. When he moved to hit him again Hobbs caught his wrist, twisting the man's elbow roughly as he walked him to the ring edge, turned him and kicked his backside hard enough that he fell into the ropes hard enough to take him over them, landing on the floor outside the ring. _

_His gaze ticked to Shepard who was already moving toward the man; that caring nature once again getting the better of her and then he looked back to the asari who was glaring at him. He had lost his pay already, but there was nothing worth beating a man who was helpless to begin with and he wasn't about to sacrifice his integrity for credits._

_Crow watched with gratitude as Hobbs showed his brother mercy he didn't really deserve. Liam was a mean drunk at times and Gage knew it had been a bad idea to come here. He started to go to his brother who was already climbing to his feet when movement caught his eye and he whirled, an unbelieving expression on his face as Sean climbed on top of the ropes, stood up and launched himself at Hobbs._

"_Shit!" Gage started forward and ran into the two bozos who had stopped him before._

_Sean flew through the air and landed on Hobbs' shoulders, grabbing two handfuls of his hair. Gage watched in horror._

"_Nobody does that to me brother!"_

_Hobbs tucked in his shoulders, throwing the man over his head, his fingers twisting to the point he was forced to let go of his hair as his back slammed into the mat. He backed up, readying against the fighter but he looked drunk too._

_Shaking his head, he grabbed him by the shirt hauling him to his feet "You heard the rules." He said showing him toward the ropes "No drunks." He looked at him carefully, he looked too young to be in a fight club and he gave him a smile "Drinks on me, go get yourself one at the bar and stay out of the way." _

_Gage stepped to the ropes, reached through and seized Sean by one arm, hauling him out of the ring, pulling him away. "Are you a fucking idiot?!" he raged at his younger brother. He looked over his shoulder and gave Hobbs a look that the fighter acknowledged with a single nod, blue-green eyes meeting his for a moment, then it was back to business._

_Gage shook Sean by the shoulders until his bleary eyes focused. He sat him on a bar stool. "You stay here. I gotta find Liam."_

"_Found him!" Sean quipped, pointing._

_Gage could not believe it when he saw, not only was Liam climbing back into the ring, but he was holding a beer bottle in his hand. A broken beer bottle…_

_Hobbs turned facing off against the man he had kicked out of the ring earlier and removed his gum shield as his eyes narrowed on the bottle gripped in his hand. He pointed a finger at him. _

"_Be very sure you can live with the consequences mate." He said carefully, the words drowned out by the roar of the club. The place was beginning to get out of control, the drunks at the back already starting a fight and he glanced over the crowd looking for Abigail as the man with the bottle rushed him. He moved out of the way letting the man stagger a bit as he moved to the other side of the rind looking for her but he couldn't see her amongst the rowdy crowd. Someone upturned a table and he caught his breath, it was fast getting out of hand. _

_The man came back at him, a sharp pain telling him he had to move again as the broken bottle slashed over his lower back. He turned, cocked his head to one side, drew back a fist and punched the man once the momentum of the hit knocking him out cold as he dropped to the mat. _

_The sound of screaming filled the club and Hobbs crossed to where his hooded jacket was, wincing at the sting on his back as he pulled it on quickly._

"_Abby!" He shouted, he frowned, turning back to the unconscious man dragging him to the edge of the ring out of harm's way before he ducked under the ropes and into the fray of the real fight. _

_Gage watched from a distance, seeing the restraint Hobbs dealt his brother. He really owed the man a debt. Suddenly, the place was erupting in mayhem and madness as the drunks in the back started their own fight club. He saw the brunette being manhandled by a burly guy and he stopped his progress to gather his erring brother. _

_He moved, taking the man's elbow and twisting it behind his back, at the same time, striking him a solid blow to the knees with a side kick. The brunette started to fall as the man released her and Gage made a dive for her, catching her, tucking in to protect her, swinging her up so when they hit the floor she had him for a cushion._

_Hobbs saw Shepard hit the floor with the blonde guy he had seen earlier and moved, shoving drunks out of the way. He dodged a hit, spinning the man and pushing him roughly in the back as he reached the couple still lying on the floor. The blonde was curled around her, protecting her from being trampled and Hobbs stooped catching her hand as he hauled her to her feet roughly. He waited, meeting the man's gaze levelly. _

"_You might want to get off the floor." He said "This place is getting a bit too rough." _

"_Ya think?" Gage climbed to his feet, glancing down at the grime on his favourite tee shirt. It was white with the sleeves cut off with a flying crow embossed across the chest and the words, "As the crow flies…"printed underneath. He turned to the brunette. "You okay?"_

_She nodded and Gage met Hobbs' gaze, then his eyes widened. "Look out!" he warned as somebody came at them with a pool cue._

_Hobbs caught Shepard, moving her forward with him as he took the brunt of the cue on his back but before he could respond she stepped in releasing a pulse of biotic energy that swept everyone backwards. He smiled as she slapped his hand and together they moved back to back, defending each other. _

"_Where did he go?" Shepard shouted, ducking a hit and bringing her attacker to the floor with a succession of middle mass hits and a knee to the groin. _

"_I have no idea." Hobbs said, his eyes scanning the crowd "We need to get out of here."_

"_No shit!" Shepard grinned._

_Hobbs spotted the blonde a few steps ahead of them, saw him take some hits and fall under the crowd once more. _

_Gage grabbed a couple of guys by their heads and crashed them together. They fell bonelessly to the floor. He looked for Sean. Liam was still out cold in the ring, probably the safest person in the place. Gage ducked when someone wielding a bat swung at his head. It missed his head but connected solidly with his shoulder and he heard it pop out of the socket. He yelped, ducked into a football stance and charged the guy, ramming into him with his good shoulder. His momentum took him and his attacker down and it was dogpile on Gage in that moment. He tried to fend off the kicks and punches to no avail._

_Through the crowd Hobbs punched through the group, grabbing the blonde by his shirt as he lifted him across his shoulders. _

"_He's bleeding." Shepard said and Hobbs pointed to the exit. She nodded her understanding and began to weave through the drunks toward the door. He held his breath, watching her but she gave as good as she took and as they clattered out onto the street she unleashed a string of curse words that had him laughing as he carried the man to the nearest wooden bench. He deposited him on the seat, bending forward to press his hands to his knees and catch his breath. _

_Shepard stepped in, lifting his head gently as she examined the cut over his eye. She stepped on his foot and winced "Sorry."_

"_S'okay," Gage said softly, then his blue eyes focused and he lurched up. "I gotta go back in there!"_

_Hobbs pushed him back down. "Not with that shoulder like that, mate."_

_Gage yelped. "But my brothers are in there!"_

_Hobbs took a slow breath "Your brothers." He said unhappily and looked at Shepard who smiled at him, she knew the look all too well "Of course they are." He said tiredly. "Let me get your shoulder back in at least, then I'll go back in for them."_

_Shepard slapped his hand off Crow's shoulder as he reached for him "Wait." She said quickly "Let me check nothing is torn."_

_Hobbs folded his arms, drawing the hood of his sleeveless jacket up over his head as he watched her move the man's arm this way and that. He looked him over, he didn't look like a fighter, he didn't seem to have the stature of someone even used to fighting. Gage winced as Shepard moved his arm and Hobbs smiled, poking a toothpick into his mouth._

"_What's with the Crow?" He asked, his eyes falling on the t-shirt the man was wearing. _

_Gage looked confused for a moment and then he looked down. "Oh, this? I got my pilot's license on Eden Prime and the guys in Eagle Squad were razzing me because I lived on a farm so they called me Crow Squad of One and I went out and had this t-shirt made." He laughed. "Sounds kinda stupid when you say it out loud." He met Hobbs eyes and braced. "Go ahead and put it back in, man."_

_Hobbs looked at the T-shirt, looked at the man's face. His own dad had been a pilot in the Alliance a long time ago; he used to tell them tall tales of his adventures and the wars between the binges he would have, between the violent rages and the abusive, alcoholic slurs. But there was something that bothered him about this guy – he looked like Foster. He looked like his brother, only broader, taller. The same blonde hair and blue eyes – damn he looked almost exactly like that photo._

_Shastri had secured a photo of Foster taken on Tuchanka less than a week ago – but of course he wasn't there anymore and Hobbs had been left chewing on that frustration. But he had __seen __him, he was __alive__ and that gave him fresh hope. He looked at the man and smiled, pushing the toothpick to the other side of his mouth with his tongue as he looked to Shepard for permission._

"_Go ahead." She said, pressing a hand to him as he stepped forward "Gently. Hobbs."_

_He snorted, grabbing the man's fingers, planting his foot on the seat of the bench as he looked at him seriously, the hood of his jacket casting his face in shadow. "One," He said firmly "Two." And before he reached three he pulled out and down, the ball socket sliding back into place. _

_Shepard moved to the stranger's side, rubbing the shoulder gently as she nodded "All in." She smiled and Hobbs scratched his head looking back to the club._

"_Alright." He sighed "I'll be back in a minute."_

_Shepard watched as he turned back toward the club "You want me to help?"_

_He shook his head "No, stay out here with Crow."_

_Gage staggered to his feet again, feeling something wash over him when Hobbs called him Crow—somehow the nickname fit, as if something between the two men was born with just the utterance. "Wait! Don't you wanna know what they look like?"_

_Hobbs turned, throwing his arms wide as he walked backwards not breaking his stride "The two blonde idiots that got into the ring right?" He called back and then tapped a finger to his temple "Never forget an idiot."_

"_Yeah, well, I appreciate what you did for those idiots," Crow said, grinning._

_It didn't take long before Hobbs emerged with two guys on either side. The one on the left was limping, holding his ribs, his nose bleeding freely as he lifted his head to look at his brother. The one to the right had a nasty bruise forming at the side of his head and he looked around him confused momentarily. _

_Hobbs walked them both to the bench and sat them down next to Crow, he glanced to Shepard who was standing with her hands in the pockets of her jeans chewing on her lip. "We should get them to a hospital." She suggested quietly "That one definitely has a concussion, can tell by looking at him." _

_Hobbs made a face "Well, that's what you get for bringing a bottle to a fight." He said evenly but nevertheless stood back so Shepard could step in. She knelt in front of him so she could look up at his face, pressing fingers to the side of his head._

"_What's your name?" She asked slowly and he blinked at her – his nose wasn't bleeding which she found curious – a blow that hard should have caused him a nosebleed at least. Lack of blood gave her a clear indication that the nose was broken, the bone slanted in such a direction it was collecting blood inside. That in itself was dangerous, a clot could be a nasty thing to deal with._

"_Liam." He mumbled, his lips swollen and she nodded taking his hand and checking his pulse. _

"_We're going to get you to the hospital Liam." She said slow and loud "I think your nose is broken and you are going to be suffering from a concussion." She glanced to Crow "Don't let him fall asleep until he's at the hospital." She moved to the next blonde, he looked younger and unlike his brother his nose was bleeding, his shirt dotted with red. _

_She pressed fingers to the bridge of his nose. "Tip your head forward." She said gently "And pinch here and here." _

"_Are you like… Hobbs' doctor?" Crow asked and Hobbs laughed, had he not heard it though Crow wouldn't believe the man capable, his face cast in shadow from the hood of his jacket._

"_No." Hobbs informed him "She's…" He cleared his throat, not sure how to complete that sentence and although Shepard continued to work over the second brother he could see she was also listening with anticipation to hear where he classed her "She's… my best friend." He finished lamely reaching a hand inside his hood to scratch the side of his head. _

"_I didn't think you had friends." Crow smiled "You have quite a rep."_

_Shepard laughed softly, shaking her head as she gently removed the Sean's fingers from his nose. The bleeding had stopped. _

_Liam looked up fuzzily at Crow. "Gage, did I win then?"_

_Crow rolled his eyes. "No, you stupid jerk. You went after him with a broken beer bottle. You got off lucky you ask me."_

_Liam's blue eyes narrowed and his thick brows drew together. "You'll not be talking to me like that."_

_Two sets of blue eyes clashed. "Drop this right now, Liam, or I'll tell Da."_

_Crow's statement had a sobering effect on the older brother. "You wouldn't do that."_

"_Don't test me."_

_Sean gazed up at his quarrelling brothers and sighed. "This was a fookin' mistake, Liam. Don't ya be picking on Gage, or I'll be telling Da, too." He groaned and looked piteously at Shepard._

"_Can you walk?" She asked Sean and he nodded slowly "We're going to get you both to the hospital. It's not far from here, luckily." _

_She stepped back letting Hobbs move in once more as he helped Liam to his feet, swinging one arm over his shoulder as he braced the man's waist carefully and they began to walk slowly in the direction of the hospital._

_-X-O-X-_

When they arrived at the cab-port, there was no sign of Liara, but there was a cab and an address popped up on JJ's omni-tool, so they took the cab to Liara's apartment. It was in the more affluent side of the city, the neon lights and skyscrapers whizzing past the cab window as Crow watched the skyline glumly. They were running out of time. He had hoped an old acquaintance of Abby's would be more willing to help – but she seemed to want them to jump through her hoops and he hated that.

The cab slowed outside an apartment block, the place was a hive of activity with police vehicles and officers – a medical crew were standing by a ambulance and he grimaced. Two guesses who this was about.

"Uh-oh," Crow muttered as he stepped out of the cab. There was police holo tape everywhere, but Crow flashed his credentials and they were allowed to go inside the apartment reluctantly. Alliance spec ops were tolerated on Illium, but he had to be careful not to push too far with them.

JJ talked to one of the cops who was investigating and returned to her partner who was examining the bullet holes in the windows. "Sniper." He said, his voice full of dread. They needed Liara if they had any hope of finding Hobbs. They had been chasing him two years and now were so close…

"There was an assassination attempt," JJ told him in a low voice after talking to an asari cop.

Another asari with rich purple-blue tinged skin came down a winding staircase. She was dressed in armour that was altogether different than that of the officers but Crow recognised the Spectre symbol emblazoned on the left breast of the suit. He had seen that symbol back when Shepard had been made a Spectre – he still found it hard to believe that she was the same girl he had known all those years ago.

"Officers, you are dismissed." The Spectre said with an air of authority that sank over the room like a dark mist. She was obviously used to getting her own way and not having to push too hard to get it either. Crow ground his teeth looking to JJ to take the lead again with the talking – if he opened his mouth he knew he would regret it.

The turian and asari investigators were disgruntled, but they left without saying much.

"Tela Vasir," she said in a velvety voice. "You want to tell me just what Alliance operatives are doing here?"

JJ shifted her weight to the right, popping a hand on her hip as she held up a hand warding off the attitude smoothly "We have council clearance to be here." She said firmly "We're here investigating the disappearance of an Alliance Operative on Omega – Liara T'soni has information vital to his recovery and we were supposed to meet her." She moved her shoulders confidently "You can check our clearance with the fifth fleet or the council – whoever you prefer."

Vasir's mouth curled into a sneer as she looked the woman up and down, she turned her eyes to Crow and he tensed, his hands curling to fists at his sides. "Then we want the same thing." She said cooly "To find Liara T'soni. I suggest we start working together."

Crow inclined his head, glancing to JJ and they exchanged a worried look before she cleared her throat "We can work together in finding her." She said firmly "But that is where our association with you should end. This is Alliance business, Vasir, and the Operative is our main concern."

Vasir nodded her agreement, fingers trailing loosely along the window to where the bullet holes sat. "Looks like T'soni got away. The sniper wasn't expecting her biotic barrier. Clever girl."

Crow never volunteered information, especially to someone he didn't know. JJ pulled Crow to the side. "She left us information in her office how to get here, and she knew we would come by. Maybe she left another clue." Her eyes looked at him imploringly and he nodded slowly, it would make sense, Liara – for all her mysteriousness didn't seem the type to leave them high and dry. Under it all she did seem to have a genuine interest in Hobbs' wellbeing.

He nodded and went upstairs while JJ poked around the first floor, never taking her eyes off Vasir. The Spectre had a vibe about her JJ didn't trust.

Crow returned with a photo of the _Normandy. _"It changed when I touched it."

He showed JJ and Vasir the holo of a place he didn't recognize. It was a photograph of a ruin, vastly overgrown by shrubbery and vines, stone statues poked out of the overgrowth like white bones, the skyline, visible only in cracks and patches was a burned orange colour.

"Ilos!" JJ said, recognizing it from one of Hobbs' debriefing reports. "Maybe she left something on or near one of the Prothean relics she has in her collection." She gestured around the apartment to the glass cases that contained ancient relics.

After diligent searching, they found a hidden disk, placed it in Liara's private terminal and saw a salarian talking nervously to Liara who could not be seen.

"Sekat," she said evenly.

"I've narrowed it down to a cluster, maybe a system. How much trouble is this information going to get me in?"

Vasir nodded as if something was confirmed. "He works at Baria Frontiers in the Dracon Center. Let's head over."

-X—O—X—

Hobbs was beyond exhaustion.

Flexing his wrists against his restraints he closed his eyes to numbing darkness, but the voice would never let him go. Lilting, painfully sadistic it licked at his ears and chased his thoughts to places he didn't ever want to go back to. And worse, it wore a smile as it did it.

"This can be easy or hard." She said and he cracked an eye open, his sight washed red from the blood that was running into his eyes. She had her back to him, long brown hair tumbling down to her hips, but the hour glass figure was unmistakable as was the voice – soft and mischievous and hinting at everything they could be – but it was a lie.

He swallowed painfully. _It's a lie_, he told himself firmly _Abigail's dead. You saw her, you carried her lifeless body and no amount of tears and screaming brought her back – it's not her._

_It's not her._

The voice was his own, from a well of anger inside him that burned through the insanity that threatened but when she turned to look at him, steel blue eyes locking on his even that voice fell silent.

_It's the asari,_ it whispered desperately _it's not her._

"Who is it you see my little lamb." She purred, moving to his side and he bucked, trying to pull away, knowing if she laid those hands on him he wasn't going to be able to pull back from it this time "What has the great Operative Hobbins breaking at the seams." She grinned, leaning over him so he had nowhere else to look and so he closed his eyes, braced as she slapped his face, still he wouldn't open his eyes.

He felt her hands on his shoulders, Shepard's hands, warm and somehow incredibly soft still – that was always a curiosity of his, how soft her hands were when she was a soldier; the hours she would spend sitting in front of her console at the desk in her cabin rubbing hand lotion into her hands over and over. In his mind's eye he could see her, leaning back in the chair, her hair tumbling over the back rest like a chocolate waterfall, she was smiling, her mouth open as she laughed – the blue in her eyes like the surface of the ocean when the sun hit it just right -

So many people knew the soldier; but it was the woman he had loved.

The hands left him and he could breathe, but he wouldn't open his eyes, no matter what – a last ditch promise to himself as he tensed waiting for what would come next.

"Where is Commander Shepard's body Operative?" She said.

He swallowed sinking into that calm centre as he licked his lips, they were cracked and painful and it made him wince. He could stay quiet; he could wait. Hobbs was good at waiting. He had to refocus, he had to think of a way out – there had to be a way out.

It hit him like a freight train; the impact somehow cold and hot all at once, a million tiny knives of electricity shooting through every last shredded nerve in his body and he screamed – whether out loud or in his head he couldn't be sure, his eyes aching behind his lids until he was sure they would burst. His ribs spread in agony, the sensations running up and down his body like lightning rods, burning all thought from his head – and then just as quick it stopped.

The pain did not.

Shuddering out an aching breath he strained against the bars over his wrists, desperate to rub a hand over his chest where the electrodes were pressed to his skin. He gasped for breath, his chest felt constricted, bruises on top of bruises on top of bruises as he tried to remember what he was fighting for; where was the harm in telling them? Where was the harm in telling the shadow broker he had handed her to Cerberus, that he had been desperate, at his wits end – much like he was now – and had given her over without any kind of coaxing, bargaining, payment.

What could the shadow broker possibly do with that information? What could the broker change now? He would be lucky if Cerberus still had her body all this time later.

He could just give in couldn't he? Could just tell them and then there would be sweet release, there would be oblivion – timeless nothing and peace and maybe even if he was lucky…

"_Do you think there is a heaven?"_

"I don't know." He whispered, his ravaged thoughts somewhere between past and present as the the words left him soulless.

"_I think there is. I have to believe we're more than bones and blood and nerves and impulses. I think what we have is something like heaven."_

He swallowed, opening his eyes to slits, that bright white light still shining on him, his vision blurring – a tie-dye of blood and tears that burned down the sides of his face.

"_I think my heaven would in your arms Hobbs."_

"Where is Commander Shepard's body Operative?"

"_I hope that is what it's like."_

When the pain came again her hands were back, and her voice, soft in his ear this time but he couldn't make out what she was saying except that it was soothing, and her hands tugged him under waves as darkness sank in around him.

-X—O—X—

_Shepard was tapping her foot in a crazy rhythm, wringing her hands in her lap as she watched the clock on the wall in the waiting room. Hobbs wanted to put his hand on her knee to still the motion, but he wasn't sure she would let him after the 'best friend' fiasco. He folded his arms, leaning forward on his knees as he looked at the grey, waxy floor instead. _

_She was his best friend, that hadn't been a lie. She was probably his only friend. The fact that they kissed every now and then wasn't a complication to that friendship –most of the time it was fuelled by emotions, or by the fact that whenever he looked at her he couldn't actually think of anything else he wanted to do except kiss her. _

_He took a breath sitting back in the seat "Tempy," He said quietly "Do you think tomorrow I could maybe take you out?"_

_Her foot stopped, and she looked at him sharply "Take me out?" She asked frowning. He loved her frown, the way her eyes would hold onto his and the crinkle above her nose would appear like a question mark._

"_Yeah." He moved his shoulders "Like to a movie, or dinner somewhere – not the pizza place, I mean somewhere proper."_

"_But you love that pizza place." She countered and then paused before adding "I love that pizza place."_

_He laughed, and it sounded awkward and shy in his ears and he hated it – he didn't like being awkward, he didn't like being the one put on the spot. Not one bit. _

_She opened her mouth to speak, closed it again pushing her hair behind her ears as she smiled, a blush creeping over her cheeks gently "You're trying to work out where we are." She said evenly "Are we going to have to have that talk?"_

_He chuckled, plucking the toothpick from his mouth and twirling it between his thumb and forefinger "I thought we were already… I mean." He coughed, sitting forward awkwardly "I figured you were already my girl, maybe I was being presumptuous. "He smiled "I guess I'm trying to find the line between friend and…" He swallowed "And you know…" He shook his head "You know what I mean right?"_

_She laughed at him, making him blush as he stuck the toothpick back in his mouth and chewed on it "You never talk to me about that." She said calmly "Some moments we're like best friends and then you kiss me Hobbs and…" The words died off as she brought her eyes to his "I guess I've been waiting for you to decide what it is you want from me." _

"_I want to take you out." Hobbs said firmly returning the smile "I want a proper date with you Tempy, not a sparring match or a training routine or letting you punch me senseless just so I can have you on top of me for a while." He laughed when she flapped his arm "I mean-"_

_Before he could finish though Crow entered the waiting room looking tired but relieved as he raked a hand through his hair._

"_They're being kept in overnight for observation." He said evenly "Thanks for helping me here with them." He frowned "I'm not allowed to stay the night here though, so I need to find a room for the night – I doubt shuttles will be running this late."_

_Hobbs looked at Shepard, back to Crow "You can crash on my couch if you want." He said evenly "Once I've walked Shepard home you're welcome to come back to mine if you need somewhere for the night."_

"_I would offer you my sofa." Shepard said helpfully "But my stepdad would only pummel you in your sleep." She smiled "Probably."_

_Crow looked at her nervously and smiled "Ok." He said "I guess Hobbs it is then. If you're sure you don't mind."_

_Hobbs shook his head, drawing the hood back up as he got to his feet "Let's get you home then Tempy."_

_They walked in relative silence for a time until Crow started talking and then Hobbs quickly realised once he started there was no shutting him up. He walked in the middle talking about life on a farm and coming to Arcturus, and then he mentioned enlisting in the Alliance and he had Shepard with that – and then once the two of them started it was hopeless to try and intervene. Chatty and chatty made much chattiness and his head pounded angrily by the time they rounded a corner onto her street. _

"_So you would be enlisting just as a cadet this year?" She clarified and Crow nodded slowly._

"_Yeah I guess I would be." Crow said, his tone was quiet but had a confidence to it borne from years of talking to people – it was something Hobbs envied about him instantly. _

_Hobbs had two modes, he thought glumly, aggression or flirt – the in between talk, the meaningful stuff, escaped him and it frustrated the hell out of him, especially when it came to Shepard. For Shepard he would give anything to find the words to describe what she made him feel inside himself. Maybe there wasn't a word for it. _

_Or maybe he just wasn't good enough to find it._

"_I've been trying to convince Hobbs to enlist." She said looking around Crow to fix Hobbs with a pointed glare "So far he's resisting."_

_Hobbs smiled "Just because you were convinced to become a smurf doesn't mean I will be." When Crow looked at him questionably he caught his breath "It's a really really old programme with blue people in it." He moved his shoulders when still the face was unresponsive "The Alliance uniform is blue."_

"_I just think you're skills with fighting would be put to much better use helping a cause than winning cash." She complained. _

"_It __is__ for a cause." He retorted "A personal one." He shook his head "And besides, the Alliance won't let in fighters." Before she could answer he interrupted "And no, I don't want you to talk to Anderson." _

_Shepard sighed huffily "See what I have to deal with." She muttered and Crow laughed. _

_Hobbs stopped outside an apartment block turning to Shepard as she hesitated offering her hand to Crow. "It was nice to meet you." She said with a smile and shook his hand gently. She turned to Hobbs who moved awkwardly from foot to foot, his hands stuffed deep into his pockets- for comfort he told himself, but he knew it was to stop him reaching for her. _

_She moved past him and he swept around after her climbing the apartment steps to the main door of the building._

"_So about tomorrow…" He said quietly and she shook her head at him, searching her pockets for her keycard._

"_Hobbs…" She sighed "I'm enlisting at the end of this week. I'm not going to have a lot of time after that – I'll be living in barracks. I'll be training. I'm not so sure a date is a good idea right now." She made a noise "I left my keycard in my room." She groaned. _

_Hobbs pressed the buzzer for the apartment, they would have to wait for her stepdad to come and open the main door manually. _

"_So you mean once you enlist that's it? Who am I going to get to spar with me?" He jabbed her side playfully and she jerked away from him. _

"_I'm sure you'll find someone." She laughed "There are always plenty of girls waiting to hang with you."_

_He frowned, seeing the lie in that statement immediately. It was true there were plenty of women waiting to get their hands on him – but Abigail was the first he had ever spent time with; that had spoken to him and asked him things and made him __feel__ things. He didn't want to find someone else, he realised suddenly, he didn't want to lose what they had already._

"_I…" He started but was interrupted by the main door opening and the furious glare of Captain Anderson silenced the words in his throat. He was an imposing man, even shirtless and standing in what looked like blue Alliance pyjama bottoms – __figures,__ Hobbs thought stifling a laugh. The light behind him in the building reflected off his dark shoulders, casting his expression in shadow but Hobbs could feel the fire in the dark eyes as he fixed them on Shepard._

"_Get inside." He said, his tone hard and flat and Shepard looked at him, the blue fire already dancing in her eyes as she ground her teeth. She did as she was told though, stalking past him as she pushed into the apartment building and then he turned to Hobbs. _

"_I told you to stay away from her." He said icily "I told you I don't need any fighter sniffing around my Abigail." His face twisted with anger as he shook his head "I catch you around her again I'm going to get my shotgun. Do you hear?"_

_Did he hear? Hobbs had heard nothing else since meeting Abigail. He had tried to introduce himself to Anderson on a number of occasions and had been met with hostility he had assumed was protective – but now he knew it was just a dislike of Hobbs as a person, or maybe because he was a fighter, or because he had that reputation around Arcturus – whatever it was it was damn frustrating. There was no give from a man like Anderson. _

_Hobbs took a long breath trying to quell the temper he felt surge to his surface at the arrogance of the man. He had tried to show him his interest in Shepard was genuine, maybe it was time to take a different tact. _

"_Look," He said evenly "I know you're trying to… whatever – but you're not her dad, mate."_

_Right away he knew it was a wrong choice, Anderson flew for him and he managed to duck back, just. Scrambling out of the way as the man swore a string of obscenities at him and Hobbs fell back, tripping over the shrubbery and knocking a trash can over as he made a quick and graceless escape. _

"_I ever catch you near her again I swear I'll kill you!" He heard the man yell after him "And I'd be doing the world a bloody favour!"_

_Crow had stayed way back, lingering in the shadows, trying to give the young couple some privacy, actually expecting them to kiss, but when the door opened and Anderson appeared, he recognized the man and blanched when he overheard what Hobbs said to him. _

_As they had walked, although Crow had been talking he'd been watching more. He loved the interplay that happened between Hobbs and Shepard because it reminded him of his da and mum, always dancing around each other. We're friends—we're more than friends, and Grand-da hadn't approved of the brash Irish youngster much like Anderson didn't approve of Hobbs._

_Crow, out of habit, stepped into the light, righted the trash can and put the lid on tight. He jogged after Hobbs who was booking away from the place._

"_So, her Da's up in arms about you," he said, catching up to him. "Just behaving like any father would. Your rep precedes you, man. You have to change the image." He walked backwards as he talked animatedly to the silent Hobbs. "Maybe you should consider joining the Alliance like your girl wants."_

"_She's not my girl." Hobbs snorted hotly "And I don't need to change." He chewed idly on the toothpick trying not to let Crow's words get past him, but in a way they did. If he joined the Alliance would he be good enough to stand next to her then? He shook his head, it wasn't possible, not while he was still looking for Foster, he needed the regular pay – mercs didn't pay themselves and when they did it was in blood. _

"_And he's not her dad." Hobbs added after a beat "He's her guardian." He rolled his shoulders "It's complicated." _

"_So he's still thinking like a dad. And she definitely is your girl, Hobbs." Crow smiled. "I have two sisters and I've seen them both get that swoony look at the lads they were dating, or, seeing, or hanging out with, whatever you two do. Maybe having her hanging out in a dive isn't the best place for her, but she strikes me as the type of girl who can handle herself."_

_Hobbs stopped walking, looking at him closely, his mouth opening to argue. His eyes fluttered closed as he absorbed what he had said to him and he closed his mouth, making a noise in his throat instead as he started walking again. _

"_So psychic Sally," Hobbs drawled "why are you enlisting?"_

_Crow snorted, letting the snide remark roll over him. "Get that from my mum. I'm enlisting because, although I've lived on a farm all my life, I don't want to stay on a farm the rest of my life. Da's a career Navy man and so far I'm the only one of his four sons and two daughters who wanted to follow in his Alliance footsteps." Crow tried to see the man's face, but he kept it hidden deep within the hood. What was he hiding from? "Anyway, got my pilot's license and Da got a Navy buddy of his to teach me how to fly a Kodiak, so I figure I can put those skills into good use." He shrugged his broad shoulders. "Besides, what's that old cliché? I want to make a difference."_

_Hobbs laughed "You think the Alliance makes a difference?" He asked quietly "It's the same as every other government organisation out there. Mercs, Hegemony, Conclave, Alliance. All the same." _

_He stuffed his hands into his pockets not about to let the guy know exactly how he knew that; that he was Shastri's personal assassin and had ensured some pretty big political events happened how the Alliance wanted them to. "Flying a Kodiak around a farm isn't the same as flying one under fire – plus Alliance shuttles are being upgraded. The Kodiak in its present form will soon be obsolete." _

_He caught himself as he realised he was giving far too much information away that was going to spark questions and cleared his throat awkwardly "Pilot is hard to get – and you're not built for flying. You should be in the marine corp." _

_He paused as he looked him over carefully "Although looks like you need some help in that department too." He said with a smile noting the thick veins that ran down the man's forearms and over the backs of his hands. _

_Crow chuckled, not taking offense, if any was even meant. Hobbs was a blunt kind of guy as was Da. Da said what he thought and damn the consequences. "Looks like you are checking out the option to join the Alliance. Studied up on it, have you?" _

_He ran his fingers through his blonde hair. "Anyway, they train you, don't they?" He stuck his hands in his pockets. "Never considered the marines," he mused softly. "And I'm not just some hick off the farm, Hobbs. I'm also not altruistic. I know the Alliance is flawed, but…" he pulled his hands out and studied the backs of them. "I'm just not cut out to be a farmer." _

_He noticed Hobbs looking at his arms and traced one of the veins that had appeared, like a thin rope under the skin, during the last year when he'd accelerated his exercise regime. "What do you mean? You talking about these?" He held his arms out for inspection._

"_Yeah." Hobbs nodded, taking Crow's wrists and turning his arms roughly "You're pushing too hard to achieve the look." He shook his head "You want to take down the weight but add in more reps – needs to be gradual." He showed him his own arms "You push too fast your body has to compensate." He paused "I can show you… if you wanted." He frowned tipping the hood back as he took the cocktail stick from his mouth "I have a gym I use just down from my apartment – well, it's actually an old garage convert – but it does the job. If you're serious about working out I could show you some routines." He shook his head, backing off from him awkwardly "If you want I mean."_

_Crow beamed a smile at him. "That would be great, man. I mean. I'd really appreciate some tips. I knew I was doing something wrong when these things appeared, but I wasn't sure what. Can we go right now?" _

_Crow realized he was blathering on and he stopped. "I mean, if __you __want. No pressure ya know." He cranked his head, wincing when it popped. "Come to think of it, you're probably too tired." Crow was offering the man a way out. _

_He figured Hobbs might already be regretting his show of generosity to a stranger. Funny, though, Hobbs didn't feel like a stranger. He felt like somebody who belonged at the kitchen table listening to the Bahasa chatter and banter and sometimes bickering and having Mum fix him a cuppa of her special tea and baking him scones, and ruffling his hair like she did her boys'. Hobbs was becoming family in the very short time Crow had spent with him. Mum would call it 'destiny" the two of them met._

_Hobbs looked at him, scratching the side of his head as he smiled "Hmm…" He laughed, short and breathless, stopping it before it gave too much emotion away "I.. I don't know." He said honestly "I've never really – I mean most guys I talk to just want to fight." He frowned "I can try teaching you – I taught Tempy everything she knows." He moved his shoulders "We should sleep, you shouldn't exercise when you're tired, but I can take you down in the morning if you want. Show you the routine I put me and Tempy through, maybe adjust it for you. I'll have to see where you are in your fitness level."_

_He paused as they neared another apartment block "My apartment's in here." He said evenly stepping up to the main entrance "It's not Buckingham Palace but it serves." He laughed then frowned wondering if he would get the British reference. He let them inside the apartment holding his breath as he listened carefully for signs of his dad before they entered. It looked like he was out, which was a good sign. _

_Moving to the lounge he flicked on the light, grimacing at the mess of glass bottles strewn over his coffee table. He scratched his head, gathering a few as he moved into the kitchen to look for a trash bag._

_Crow joined him in the effort, moving to toss them in the bag Hobbs found, shrugging when a pair of blue-green eyes speared him. "Liam does the same thing. I clean it up so Mum won't have to and then I carry his sorry ass to bed." He grimaced. "I wish he'd stop drinking so damn much." He glanced about the place. "You don't live alone?" _

_Hobbs ignored the question smoothly – now was not the time to tell the guy he looked after his alcoholic father. A man he no longer really considered his father so much as an Alliance veteran who chose his apartment to crash in, literally as well as metaphorically. _

_Crow kept his voice pitched very quiet as he helped Hobbs pick up, automatically straightening tidying, picking up plates, utensils and glasses, running some suds in the sink, washing them, his expression preoccupied as he rinsed them off. This was a natural chore for Crow and he thought nothing of pitching in to help his new friend. He grinned. Yep, he thought of Hobbs as his friend and instinctively he knew it was going to be a friendship fraught with brambles along the way, as his Mum would say._

_Crow dried his hands, looked down when his stomach rumbled and admitted, "I'm hungry. You hungry? I make a mean omelette."_

_Hobbs paused, frowning at him; he appreciated the fact that he hadn't pressed for information on the state of the apartment and that he seemed completely at ease; somehow that put him at ease which was nice. It was rare Hobbs was ever at ease around another man – they always seemed to want to beat the hell out of him. _

"_I…" He moved to the fridge "Sure." He said evenly "There's bacon too. Abigail is forever stocking my fridge. She's always starving." He smiled removing the eggs and bacon carefully "You want a beer?"_

"_Biotics have a different metabolism," Crow said, nodding. "Yeah, to the beer. I was designated to be the sober one and make sure the other two got home okay." He sighed, sounding a little exasperated. "It's Liam's birthday. He's lucky it wasn't his last. A-hole. I apologize for my idiot brothers, Hobbs."_

_He looked for and found a skillet, poured a little oil in the pan and heated it. "You got any tomatoes or veggies of some kind? You like it spicy or regular?" He grinned and chuckled. "I really am talking a lot, aren't I?" He moved his shoulders. "You were intimidating as hell."_

"_Survival instinct." Hobbs said dismissively and smiled when Crow didn't answer right away, he moved to the cupboards taking some dishes from inside and setting them at the table. Unzipping his sleeveless top he removed it, running his fingers over the cut on his lower back. It wasn't bleeding so he wasn't concerned. _

_He ran his hands over his shoulders, raking fingers through his hair as he contemplated his next tattoo with a smile and opened the fridge again collecting Tomatoes and mushrooms from the drawer at the bottom. He handed them to Crow and then stopped to pick up an apple. Grabbing a bottle of beer – mildly surprised there were any left – he handed it to Crow and moved to grab himself a tumbler from the draining board by the sink. Filling it with water he padded back to the table._

"_You seem different from your brothers." He observed, sinking to sit at the table as he bit into the apple "You seem like you have your head on right."_

"_Da's away a lot. Special Forces branch,, so Mum tries to raise us right. My brothers fall to the Irish side of the family—carousing, bickering, drinking, typical stuff, whereas I take more after her Swedish side." He chopped up the veggies and tossed them in with a few spices he rummaged from the cupboard, whipped them into the eggs and tossed them in the heated pan. After a moment, he flipped it over with practiced ease, then laid it over after adding cheese to the filling. In another pan he cooked several pieces of bacon, flinching when the grease spattered over his arms._

_He finished cooking, cut the omelette in two, slid the pieces onto plates and heaped the bacon to the side and walked over and put a plate in front of Hobbs. He clinked his beer bottle against Hobbs' tumbler. "Let's eat," he said, grabbing a piece of bacon, chewing energetically, eyes rolling back in his head. "So the girl you don't consider your girl stocks your fridge? Man that is such a girlfriend thing to do!"_

"_Mmm." Hobbs commented spooning a forkful into his mouth – it surprised him that it was actually good. "I don't cook." He said offhandedly, not thinking about what he was saying as he smiled "Never learned how really so she cooks for me most of the time. Before I met her I basically lived on fruit. Or from the pizza place down the road." He moved his shoulders "She's just that sort, caring you know?"_

_He caught himself, frowning as he turned back to the plate "I take it you learned to cook with your family?" He asked quietly. _

_Crow stopped shovelling omelette for a second, chewing it and taking a swallow of beer. "I have four brothers and two sisters. You either learn how to cook or starve when Mum's out of the house. I learned to cook—well, some things. I'm not a chef or anything." _

_Crow took another bite of eggs and wolfed down a piece of bacon. "So, you found the one," he noted. "Don't try to con me, man. You look at her the same way Da looks at Mum, after all these years. You're in love with her." He guzzled the beer. "I think joining the Alliance would ensure you two could spend time together, long as you can skirt the fraternization regs." He went quiet a moment. "Sorry, damn beer's loosening my tongue. I tend to get even more verbal when I drink, and I got no filter. None of my business, but I'm just saying it would sure be a way to change people's view of you."_

_Hobbs paused, leaning his head on his hand as he chewed thinking again about how difficult it would be to see Shepard once she enlisted. Thinking about the absence he would feel – she had become an integral part of his life almost and trying to think of it without her had a panic fluttering up from his gut. _

_He rubbed his chest absently – enlisting would mean not having the credits to hunt for Foster, it would mean relying more on Shastri and the Alliance jobs he pulled, which was fine, until the politician asked him to do something he couldn't. _

_He didn't look forward to that day._

"_Haters are gonna hate." He said evenly "Whether I'm in blue or not. Most of them it's not the violence anyway, it's the other stuff. But I don't abuse women; I'm not a womaniser. I know the rumours." He moved his shoulders "And I know the truth." He blew out a breath "I like Abigail." He said calmly "She's probably the first girl I've spent time with who hasn't rubbed herself up against me you know?" He smiled and then added "Well, intentionally anyway." He took a long drink of water and polished off his omelette "She's hard to read. I find her interesting. And she's damn smart, I have to work to keep up with her and I kinda like that." He smiled "But don't read into it, we've been friends a while and I know it looks like more sometimes but she's not a barfly or a club skank." He moved his shoulders "You have experience with women?" He frowned "Or am I talking to a twink?"_

_Crow looked confused, but it didn't affect his grin as he waggled his brows at Hobbs. "Like, eh? That's even better. Love is so damn complicated." He blushed. "As to women, I…one…high school sweethearts. Coleen." He looked wistful for a moment, then shook his head. "But, she's staying on Eden Prime and I'll be a marine." He frowned. "Uh, in the Navy?" He ran his fingers over the stubble on his chin. "You really think I'd be better as a marine? Da would flip out."_

_He grinned, leaning back in his chair on its two back legs. "As to Abigail? I can see why you like her. I liked her, too." Something dawned on him and he sat forward, bringing the chair upright. "What the hell's a twink?"_

_Hobbs smiled "Sorry." He cleared his throat "I grew up a spell in London, some of the slang stuck. I was asking if you liked women or were… otherwise oriented." He laughed and then caught the man's earlier words, his expression dropping to a serious one "Abigail's off-limits." He said quickly "Just so we're clear. As a friend," He said evenly "I should look out for her welfare and you're not right for her." _

_Crow actually blushed, feeling the heat rise into his face. "O-o-kay. No, I like girls. Well, girl. I was always kept on the farm or learning how to fly." He chuckled at Hobbs' warning and raised his hands in a placating gesture. "I don't trespass, man." _

_Hobbs shifted awkwardly "I've seen Alliance marines." He said "I've worked with a few, beat a few up – you could do the marine corp. You'd be better enlisting there than flight school – half the pilots get booted out in the first year anyway, and you can always specialise in the corp." He got to his feet clearing the dishes away "I guess it's your choice though. I mean, your dad doesn't like the marine corp? I thought you said he was Alliance?"_

_He ate the last bite of his omelette and a thoughtful expression came into his blue eyes. "They're all on the same side, right? Da's in special forces Navy. Recall in Earth's past history where they had the Airforce, the Marines, the Army, the Navy? Well, even though they call themselves the Alliance, there's still fierce competition and rivalry. Da wants me in special forces, but I want to be a pilot." He put his beer bottle down and blew softly on the condensation on the outside until it warmed and slid down the bottle. He watched it go, the drops slithering down until they formed a pool around the bottom. "Marines, huh?"_

_He got up and automatically started on the dishes, putting them in the hot, sudsy water, enjoying the menial task. He rinsed them and placed them in the dry rack. "So, tomorrow morning, can you show me what I'm doing wrong?"_

"_I can try." Hobbs said with a smile "You should get some sleep. Tempy usually comes around about 8am to wake me up – that gives us four hours to get our heads down." He pointed back down the hall "You want the bed or the sofa?" He paused and smiled "Bed was changed this morning."_

_Crow emptied the sink, swishing cold water until the suds disappeared. He quickly tidied the stove and looked at his handiwork, giving a nod of silent approval. "I'll take the couch," he said, smiling. "I don't sleep in another man's bed." He blushed. ""I mean, __take __another man's bed. I mean, if it's like mine, you've got all the lumps and springs sorted out. Couch is fine. Shutting up now."_

_Hobbs laughed nodding as he led the way back down the hall "I have some spare stuff." He said, crossing to the wardrobe and pulling some blankets free from the top shelf, he handed them to him and pulled Abigail's pillow from the top of the wardrobe and offered it to him. The cover on it was pink and he blinked, feeling himself blush as he pressed it into his hands._

"_Not mine." He explained quickly "If you need anything else just give me a shout." He paused, realising that he would have to lock the door to stop his father stumbling in later and launching into Crow. He pushed past the man, moving to the main door and locking it carefully – he was always too drunk to use the passcode, something he had learned previous nights when Abigail had opted to sleep over. _

_Crow laughed and took a sniff of the pillow. "Pink, huh, and scented?" He tossed the pillow on the sofa and flopped on it, drawing one of the blankets over him. "Thanks for the hospitality, Hobbs." He turned to the back of the couch, curling up, a big yawn escaping. "See ya in the morning, bud."_


End file.
